technocracy Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Our little man is just 1 year old tomorrow - he's completely mobile walking and happy to play and walk around alone. However when the inlaws visit all they ever want to do is carry him around as though he's 3 months again - half the time he cries when they pick him up! They just don't seem to get the message! Then it's try make him play with everything to entertain them! Why can't they just let him play, watch and play with him when he wants to? Of course if I say put him down and let him play I am being the big bad falang. Just now the icing has been put on the cake by giving him a stupid bloody gold necklace for his birthday present . . . even though I've previously expressly stated I do not want any kind of ugly stupidity adorning our child! A one year child wear a bloody necklace - sorry but that is just so bloody stupid on soooooooooooo many levels. Maybe they want him choke himself on it??!?!?! There is really no bloody common sense applied to babies over here! Why couldn't they of just bought him something useful like a few new clothes! I will wait til they go home til I tell me wife my thoughts on that necklace matter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakeha Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 He'll have a mobile phone soon no doubt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technocracy Posted February 14, 2009 Author Share Posted February 14, 2009 He'll have a mobile phone soon no doubt! That'll probably be the 2nd birthday present! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakeha Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 You could stash the necklace and tell them he's lost it and needs another one. Repeat multiple times over many years and walaa!! University fund underway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technocracy Posted February 14, 2009 Author Share Posted February 14, 2009 You could stash the necklace and tell them he's lost it and needs another one. Repeat multiple times over many years and walaa!! University fund underway Good thinking! For me it'll be going in the safe until he's old enough to decide if he wants wear it or not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakeha Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Best place for it. A necklace on a one year old is pretty mental. Good luck with the wife. I'm sure she'll just think you're khi niaw or something eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rixalex Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 A one year child wear a bloody necklace - sorry but that is just so bloody stupid on soooooooooooo many levels. Couldn't agree more. And i've seen them go one step further and have the kid's ear pierced - sometimes combined with a rat's tail haircut! The gypsy look is a popular one with some folks sadly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Ahh yes, they do love to carry the kids around too much but then look at me odd for putting him in a stroller when we go out shopping!!! About the gold necklace, my mil got my son a gold necklace with a Buddha amulet (v expensive one so I am told) and another one with an amulet with the king on it. Hubbies friend (thai/chinese) also brought him a necklace made of beads supposed to be for wealth & good luck & apart from letting them put these on my son the day they first bought them, they have now been placed above the head of his bed, as is custom in their family (ostentatious displays of wealth are not popular for them). This is a happy compromise that keeps the peace so I would suggest doing something similar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samesamebutdifferent Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Then it's try make him play with everything to entertain them! Why can't they just let him play, watch and play with him when he wants to? Of course if I say put him down and let him play I am being the big bad falang. How cares if they think your the big bad ferang? they don't seem to give a toss about your feelings on the matter, and as it is your child, they should respect your view. I'd welcome the gold, as paper money seems to be going down the shiiiter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technocracy Posted February 14, 2009 Author Share Posted February 14, 2009 (edited) Ahh yes, they do love to carry the kids around too much but then look at me odd for putting him in a stroller when we go out shopping!!! About the gold necklace, my mil got my son a gold necklace with a Buddha amulet (v expensive one so I am told) and another one with an amulet with the king on it. Hubbies friend (thai/chinese) also brought him a necklace made of beads supposed to be for wealth & good luck & apart from letting them put these on my son the day they first bought them, they have now been placed above the head of his bed, as is custom in their family (ostentatious displays of wealth are not popular for them). This is a happy compromise that keeps the peace so I would suggest doing something similar? Hmmm the above the head of the bed thing is a good idea! However I think my wife will understand when I explain my feelings, she is level headed enough this way and isn't one for 'showing' wealth. Edited February 14, 2009 by technocracy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technocracy Posted February 14, 2009 Author Share Posted February 14, 2009 A one year child wear a bloody necklace - sorry but that is just so bloody stupid on soooooooooooo many levels. Couldn't agree more. And i've seen them go one step further and have the kid's ear pierced - sometimes combined with a rat's tail haircut! The gypsy look is a popular one with some folks sadly! I've unfortunately seen these poor kids also! I have to wonder what goes through their parents mind to do that to child! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 About the ear peircing, in the 70's in England the whole gypsy thing was massively popular too, my ears were pierced at 6 months old in 1975 & even today it is fairly popular (mainly among the chav types now though tbh ) so imo it is just a fashion thing, as is the silly rat tail hair thing, goes back so I'm told, to old days style. Same as the shaving all but a bit on top of the head of boys hair as well. None of them will be seen on my son but then we are in the UK so as you live in Thailand expect some of these things to come up. Pick your arguments (liek not allowing the baby to choke on gold necklaces & no piercing) but allow somethings to go unmentioned as it makes for a happy family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technocracy Posted February 14, 2009 Author Share Posted February 14, 2009 Pick your arguments (liek not allowing the baby to choke on gold necklaces & no piercing) but allow somethings to go unmentioned as it makes for a happy family. Exactly . .. . which is why the samesamebutdifferent post has been completely ignored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMA_FARANG Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 (edited) Our little man is just 1 year old tomorrow - he's completely mobile walking and happy to play and walk around alone. However when the inlaws visit all they ever want to do is carry him around as though he's 3 months again - half the time he cries when they pick him up! They just don't seem to get the message! Then it's try make him play with everything to entertain them! Why can't they just let him play, watch and play with him when he wants to? Of course if I say put him down and let him play I am being the big bad falang. Just now the icing has been put on the cake by giving him a stupid bloody gold necklace for his birthday present . . . even though I've previously expressly stated I do not want any kind of ugly stupidity adorning our child! A one year child wear a bloody necklace - sorry but that is just so bloody stupid on soooooooooooo many levels. Maybe they want him choke himself on it??!?!?! There is really no bloody common sense applied to babies over here! Why couldn't they of just bought him something useful like a few new clothes! I will wait til they go home til I tell me wife my thoughts on that necklace matter! When you marry into a Thai family (I am assuming that's what you did), you get the WHOLE FAMILY. Sounds like you got the "doting grandparents" type who are trying to relive their young children's lives thru their grandchildren. You can just keep politely but firmly keep insisting that your son is " too big" now to be carried like a baby anymore. It may not work because the grandparents still want to see him as their "little pookie bear". When he gets bigger and heavier, the may not be as eager to carry him around. As for the Gold necklace...you're fighting a Thai cultural tradition there. Gold jewelry is regarded as a symbol of wealth, and it will take a lot to convince the grandparents or relatives that giving your son a Gold necklace isn't for his benefit. I'm assuming they are possibly from Issan or someplace similar? What they feel are doing by giving a Gold necklace is showing their concern for the young child, and providing him with a good start and a wealthy future. Pick your battles...they mean well and are trying to show their love for your son. You might win the "carry around" thing, but I don't see you winning the "necklace" bit. Lighten up, and just be glad the grandparents or relatives care enough to want to give presents. It could be worse. Anyway, your son will soon be at the "let me do it, myself" stage (twos and threes), where he going to start to assert his individuality. Time will take care of the problems you mentioned. P.S. Sorry if I'm wrong, but I just assumed the relatives you were talking about were grandparents. Just a thought...maybe you can get the relatives to accept you storing away the Gold chain, so it "won't get lost". It's worth a try, anyhow Edited February 14, 2009 by IMA_FARANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bina Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 as suggested: gold and stuff goes over the bed except for festive days like going to the wat or something... here, its gold bracelets for girls; once they are on, they are hard to get off w/o cutting them off.... also, gold necklaces, again, worn only on special days also here, kids are on the hands a lot; but as kids get older heavier and squirmier, they get put down faster. keeping kids in strollers and playpen type things is also frowned upon, and kids get passed from hand to hand , lap to lap. as for letting a baby play alone-- thai are social, and socialization starts when a baby; we westerners favour individuality also starts from baby hood from sleeping alone to learning to be self entertaining and playing alone... dont forget that at a certain age, thai also stop a lot of physical contact among themselves and their parents and expressing love is shown in other ways that are more material: food, money, gold. as long as the baby is being loved, dont worry... fight your fights about things like car seats, food, etc. bina israel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nostraforce Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Carrying him around for everybody's enjoyment is making the family happy so it's for the greater good you dam_n individualist I'll guess I'll have the same comments in in a few months haha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samuibeachcomber Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Ahh yes, they do love to carry the kids around too much but then look at me odd for putting him in a stroller when we go out shopping!!! About the gold necklace, my mil got my son a gold necklace with a Buddha amulet (v expensive one so I am told) and another one with an amulet with the king on it. Hubbies friend (thai/chinese) also brought him a necklace made of beads supposed to be for wealth & good luck & apart from letting them put these on my son the day they first bought them, they have now been placed above the head of his bed, as is custom in their family (ostentatious displays of wealth are not popular for them). This is a happy compromise that keeps the peace so I would suggest doing something similar? good point,they have their different ways/culture etc,have to chill out and accept that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Put your foot down. The baby is 50% western, as is the relationship. Why do people think that just because you have a relationship with a Thai that you have to forget everything about your culture, forget your intelligence and knowledge and accept the backward ways of people who believe in ghosts, fairy tales and all manner of superstitions ? Sorry, but sheer numbers of people does not pass muster when it comes to your child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyd Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Torrenova knows the crack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Torrenova knows the crack. I could have said for the guys to go "grow a set" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samran Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 when people give my daughters gold, I dont complain Put it in a safe, let people forget about it, and then melt it down and sell it off at a later date for the school/university education fund... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 Put your foot down. The baby is 50% western, as is the relationship. Why do people think that just because you have a relationship with a Thai that you have to forget everything about your culture, forget your intelligence and knowledge and accept the backward ways of people who believe in ghosts, fairy tales and all manner of superstitions ?Sorry, but sheer numbers of people does not pass muster when it comes to your child. Thinking about the above statement. Isn't that exactly what we teach our children in the UK ? When we put them to bed we read stories to them that are absolutely ridiculous stories ? Such as "The 3 Bears" that can speak english etc, to name one. Then you've got an egg that falls off a wall. <deleted>For Thais, it's ghost stories. It's the Thai way of controlling children. Each to their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 Put your foot down. The baby is 50% western, as is the relationship. Why do people think that just because you have a relationship with a Thai that you have to forget everything about your culture, forget your intelligence and knowledge and accept the backward ways of people who believe in ghosts, fairy tales and all manner of superstitions ?Sorry, but sheer numbers of people does not pass muster when it comes to your child. Thinking about the above statement. Isn't that exactly what we teach our children in the UK ? When we put them to bed we read stories to them that are absolutely ridiculous stories ? Such as "The 3 Bears" that can speak english etc, to name one. Then you've got an egg that falls off a wall. <deleted>For Thais, it's ghost stories. It's the Thai way of controlling children. Each to their own. the difference being most western children stop believing these stories, because thats all they are, by the time they are 6 or 7 years old. by the time these children have matured into adults and have their own children they repeat the process, do you think they really expect their children to believe in santa claus. the difference is certain thais still believe in all this pee bob rubbish until their dying days, lets no forget amulets than can deflect bullets, tattoos to protect you from god knows what, lucky amulets to bring good fortune and god knows how many other money making scams in the shape of basically indulgences for sale at the local wat. loved the one about the egg that falls off the wall, i gave up on it when i heard the one about the guy who lived in the belly of a whale. yes they may have their ways, but we also have ours that they should accept as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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