You Know You Are In Thailand When....

[trogers]

I pay 240 plus tip. With as little hair I as have, I want her to take her time and be gentle with both of them.

Are you referring to hair on your head?

[loong]

I know I'm in Thailand when....

The morning after a party there are 50 pairs of shoes by the front door and NONE of them are mine!

[loong]

You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

Cleaning what???

[siamjj]

When it cost 35 baht to fix a tire that has a tube in it and when the village barber charges 30 baht for a haircut.

30?i pay 20,lol.

I hate yall.....i pay between 80-200b per haircut.....

I pay 240 plus tip. With as little hair I as have, I want her to take her time and be gentle with both of them.

thats funny bkk,look after those boys,lol.

[chefshane]

You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

... some good points for a change

<APPLAUSE>

dam_n straight.

[chefshane]

Yoy know your in Thailand when you at the local shop ask for three beer chang and ten baht ice.

[illy]

you know y a i t

when you go to the 7

there are 8 customers 5 staff and only 1 serving.

and the one serving is preparing one of those awful "hot dog on the rollers" into a 3 day old bread roll about to be nuked in the microwave which they then wait patiently to cook for instead of serving any more customers!!!

also anything in a shop that is not in stock is always "just finished.. will come again soon". only to find next time you go back to the store the item is still 'just finished"

[chefshane]

No automatic desire to go "native". Ive lived in different countries since i was 16, so Thailand isnt my only experience of adapting to a new and different culture. I find that often people usually automatically start taking on some typical local behaviour over a period of time when they move somewhere (unless, i guess, you keep to yourself or your own countrymen). I think when you spend time with people from the country you are living in, then even when something at first seems strange, after a while it seems normal. I dont hold onto traditions from my childhood tooth and nail, i like to try to adjust and try out new things. Im not "native" by any stretch of the imagination, I could never be Thai, or wish to be. But I enjoy trying to learn about the culture and traditions of a country I live in, in doing so i find i automatically soak up a little of it.

Dont really see why making funny observations or talking about things that you feel have changed about yourself often brings on the 'one-upmanship' comment.

Maybe some people do feel the need to go on about how "native" they are, but I think thats a bit silly.

Sorry, rambling, bad day.

_________

You know are in Thailand when some Western men look at you with contempt, purely because you are a white Western female (sorry, but thats true). (But, at the same time, i know some really lovely Western men who are real gentlemen..and have had some nice simple interactions, such as men holding open a door for me. Always return the gesture with a smile and a thank you. )

Great post.

Well put, and very apt comments.

I wish more people would think and comment with their intellect and experience - and not by beating their chest and putting everyone else down as "less experienced" or "stupid"

Another Farang worth meeting. See, they're out there.

[Birdman]

you know y a i t

when you go to the 7

there are 8 customers 5 staff and only 1 serving.

and the one serving is preparing one of those awful "hot dog on the rollers" into a 3 day old bread roll about to be nuked in the microwave which they then wait patiently to cook for instead of serving any more customers!!!

also anything in a shop that is not in stock is always "just finished.. will come again soon". only to find next time you go back to the store the item is still 'just finished"

next time repeat that mantra in your brain: I am in Thailand, I am patient and tolerant

[chefshane]

You know you are in Thailand when you get into a conversation about ghost and Thai people say " I am not that scared of American ghost....Thai Ghost are worse!"...

I love that one.

I have an evil streak.

I enjoy telling ghost stories here, and mentioning that I "thought I saw a GHOST" to get the 'usual' reaction

Definitely a high point.

Away better reaction than I get from my daughter and the folks back home.

Central Asia & CIS was also good. They have a very healthy fear of the undead too.

I almost believed it over there myself.

[eek]

No automatic desire to go "native". Ive lived in different countries since i was 16, so Thailand isnt my only experience of adapting to a new and different culture. I find that often people usually automatically start taking on some typical local behaviour over a period of time when they move somewhere (unless, i guess, you keep to yourself or your own countrymen). I think when you spend time with people from the country you are living in, then even when something at first seems strange, after a while it seems normal. I dont hold onto traditions from my childhood tooth and nail, i like to try to adjust and try out new things. Im not "native" by any stretch of the imagination, I could never be Thai, or wish to be. But I enjoy trying to learn about the culture and traditions of a country I live in, in doing so i find i automatically soak up a little of it.

Dont really see why making funny observations or talking about things that you feel have changed about yourself often brings on the 'one-upmanship' comment.

Maybe some people do feel the need to go on about how "native" they are, but I think thats a bit silly.

Sorry, rambling, bad day.

_________

You know are in Thailand when some Western men look at you with contempt, purely because you are a white Western female (sorry, but thats true). (But, at the same time, i know some really lovely Western men who are real gentlemen..and have had some nice simple interactions, such as men holding open a door for me. Always return the gesture with a smile and a thank you. )

Great post.

Well put, and very apt comments.

I wish more people would think and comment with their intellect and experience - and not by beating their chest and putting everyone else down as "less experienced" or "stupid"

Another Farang worth meeting. See, they're out there.

Oh! Thanks! :D

[justaphase]

You know your in Thailand when a car indicates to go around a bend.. oh, there's so many more!

Still beats Blighty though.

[Pakboong]

you know y a i t

when you go to the 7

there are 8 customers 5 staff and only 1 serving.

and the one serving is preparing one of those awful "hot dog on the rollers" into a 3 day old bread roll about to be nuked in the microwave which they then wait patiently to cook for instead of serving any more customers!!!

also anything in a shop that is not in stock is always "just finished.. will come again soon". only to find next time you go back to the store the item is still 'just finished"

next time repeat that mantra in your brain: I am in Thailand, I am patient and tolerant

once you are home with whatever is is you bought, you injure yourself trying to get the wrapper off.

[siamjj]

you know your not in thailand when its snowing again,lol.i know, off topic but i'll be back soon.must be a canadian thing eh?!!

[ballpoint]

You know your in Thailand when a car indicates to go around a bend.. oh, there's so many more!

Still beats Blighty though.

And when a driver turns on his hazard lights when going straight through an intersection, even though one of them is broken.

[dotcom]

YKYAIT when you go grocery shopping only to find kids dressed in their very best pajamas.

[Pakeha]

When your thai girlfriend books a hotel and they won't let her book because she is thai...

But then they say it is ok if she gives them my (farang) name (even though I won't be staying there at the same time )...

[eagleflyinghigh]

Congratulations for your pink glasses ! Be happy - I am not as long as I am in the third world !

You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

and your white items are blue or pink.

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

and your office table is trashed with real food all the time.

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away

and as a consequence of the "everything goes" Thailand has a frightening road accident record.

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

and are not sure about the food hygiene.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

and one day you wake up from your coma in hospital. Accidents happen also near home.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

well, this are third world prices and you pay for them with a third world environment, including pollution and poor infrastructure.

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

especially if you have to pay excise tax for common products of our culture like wine.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

hoping she is wearing a helmet as otherwse you might have to pay the family for her funeral.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

and upon check out the staff come to inspect the room out of fear you are stealing something.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

and you will have to change the bedshets afterwards.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

and the bus having a perfect maintenance record, the driver is qualified and had enough sleep.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

in contrast to most karaoke singers for whom I feel ashamed.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

are you into underage fun or are we talking university instead school.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

with the usual high quality of Thai TV.

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

stolen software of course which will hopefully put you in trouble back in civilisation.

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

hoping that you have no problems afterwards. I know horror stories about crowns and implants.

... some good points for a change

depends on what we consider "good points" ......

[t.s]

Congratulations for your pink glasses ! Be happy - I am not as long as I am in the third world !

depends on what we consider "good points" ......

wow. congratualtions, you have just won the miserable human being of the decade award.

i wish i could muster such negativity. take a bow.

Edited March 8, 2009 by t.s

[SoiGirlHunter]

..when u take more showers outside of your residence than at home

[Artisi]

when the add ice to butter !

?????????????????????? what??? Really?

I think its because to keep the butter from melting.

Butter lasts like 2 mins before it melts in Bangkok.

Nothing unusual, even 5 star hotels will place ice in with their butter pieces - stops the butter melting.

[Birdman]

Congratulations for your pink glasses ! Be happy - I am not as long as I am in the third world !

Best thing to do: End all your relations in Thailand, move to another country of your choice and never ever think about Thailand any more.

[ozzieovaseas]

you know your in thailand when:

YOU would like something to be done logically or at least slightly efficient, and the girlfriend says "This is thailand, the wheels turns slowly, you have to be patience and you dont complain"

BUT..

when SHE expects something to be done for HER (preferably yesterday!)....."This is Thailand, you have to be quick and fast other then you be buried"

THEN..

When you point out the fact that there might be a double standard happening on her part..."Well, you can always go back to your own country where everything is perfect"

GRRRRR!!!!

[wackysleet]

You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

I hope you mean cleaning the urinals

[Loyhaasip]

The local in front of you takes 35 minutes to use the ATM! (same in Singapore!)

I love the place - this one really makes me laugh.

When I was back in the UK, if anybody took more than 60 seconds to use these machines, all sorts of comments would be made by others queuing to use it! (but over there you are waiting in the pi**ing rain and bloody freezing! - much easier to wait here where it is warm and sunny!)

[Thanh-BKK]

Hi

This last one applies specially to banking, not ATM's... for some reason, every time i go to *any* branch of *any* bank to do *any* type of business there, it will take a minimum of 45 minutes to be my turn and never any longer than 45 seconds to finish my business. For some reason just about everyone before me has some business that involves lots of papers (which usually are not complete or have to be filled in right there) or a number of phone calls, while for me it is always a "quickie".

Strange.

Best regards....

Thanh

[warfie]

When you see a dog every twenty metres on the street but never actually see someone walking their dog, but when you do they are one of those tiny things that fit in a handbag which a street dog would have for breakfast!

... but you never see any doggie droppings on the footpath ... and wonder where they end up !!!!!!!!

Peter

hmmm... good point...

[warfie]

Funny isn't it, even when the title of the thread asks people to keep it humorous the usual suspects can still twist it into a "Whinge about Thailand" thread.

I know I am in Thailand when I feel quite safe walking alone at 3 AM

I know I'm in Thailand when I see no garbage littering the streets

I know I'm in Thailand when complete strangers greet me and smile

I know I'm in Thailand when I hear the musical tones of the football referee whistle bird everywhere I go.

I know I am in Thailand when I can get a taxi at any time night or day with no waiting

I know I am in Thailand when I can jump on a mini bus, get off a few kilometers down the road and pay a pittance

I know I am in Thailand when I can stand in one spot and see four 711's and three Family mart's within a five minute walk.

I know I am in Thailand when I leave the office at lunch time and can walk to hundreds of places to eat a great meal for less than 60 Baht.

I know I'm in Thailand when I see fruit of all descriptions for sale on most streets (in my area anyway)

I know I am in Thailand when most of the people I see are well dressed and well mannered

I know I am in Thailand when I see an adult stand for a child on the BTS

ya... frigging incredible isn't it?!?! losers...

[warfie]

Congratulations for your pink glasses ! Be happy - I am not as long as I am in the third world !

depends on what we consider "good points" ......

wow. congratualtions, you have just won the miserable human being of the decade award.

i wish i could muster such negativity. take a bow.

hmmm... 'eagleflyinghigh'? attitude seems more like turkeyeatingshit...

I know I'm in Thailand when I charge a fraction of what I'd charge for my services in the west and it's still many times what a local would charge... but I only need to fix it once...

[mdechgan]

When you go do a number 1 in an upscale restaurant or bar and some guy puts a hot towl on your neck and starts to massage your neck while another guy just watches and waits until you are finished to turn on the water faucet for you.