desi Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 For those of you in relationships with Thai men, did you read the book, Thai Fever? I'm just now getting around to it and it's loaded down with interesting information, and not just for Western men in a relationship with a Thai women. It'd be great if there was a book out there with reversed rolls, but I guess the market is not big enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellohello Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 After living with my Thai boyfriend for 2+ years I read it,.. We then got married- It helped me realize what I had and who he is. Going on 7 years now..... Great book- Everyone living in Thailand should read "The Basics" I wish I could find my copy, I'd read again right now LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 I'm surprised how useful it is for Western women. I've avoided Thai Fever all these years as I was lumping it into 'that' category but I've clearly done it a disservice. It's only been recently that I felt drawn to it. But again it was due to all the guys raving about it when I asked about must have books on living in Thailand. Then when Chris coauthored the new Thai dictionary too, I ordered both at the same time. I now consider Thai Fever highly recommended reading for Western women with Thai partners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 A friend of mine offered to loan me his book when he is done reading it, but tbh, after being married to the same man for 20 years and living hand in glove with the local community, do you really think there is something there for me? Or will it be a rehash of everything that took me about 15 years to finally learn and accept? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samuibeachcomber Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 pardon my ignorance but is this book aimed at farang men with thai lady or western women with thai man? or neither? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 (edited) sbk, I'd be interested in hearing what you think of the book. With all your experience, I'm sure you'll have tons more stuff to add. I don't have a Thai partner but it's been an interesting read for me anyway. Some of the stuff I'm reading I can't get my head around as I don't agree with it. For instance, where it talks about the Thai female putting the Western male in the position where he can show his generosity by paying for her friends and family: meals, loans (which apparently never get paid back in full), etc., I have a hard time not seeing that as taking advantage. So yes, I'd love to get your take on the book. Edited March 14, 2009 by desi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 All I know is when my husband and I go out with his older brother his older brother insists on paying our meals. When we are out with someone younger than us, my husband pays for the meals. Stinginess is not an admired value when it comes to stinginess towards one's loved ones, IME And samuibeachcomber, I believe the book is aimed at the western man with the thai woman but I am sure there are some universal issues about thai culture that would apply to both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 pardon my ignorance but is this book aimed at farang men with thai lady or western women with thai man? or neither? The book targets Western men in relationships with Thai women, but states right in the beginning that others will find the information handy. The book is bilingual: on the left hand side is English, on the right hand side is Thai. I now wish I'd read this book earlier as it's loaded down with interesting information for any Westerner living in Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samuibeachcomber Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 All I know is when my husband and I go out with his older brother his older brother insists on paying our meals. When we are out with someone younger than us, my husband pays for the meals. Stinginess is not an admired value when it comes to stinginess towards one's loved ones, IMEAnd samuibeachcomber, I believe the book is aimed at the western man with the thai woman but I am sure there are some universal issues about thai culture that would apply to both. thanks,the only book i have ever read re thailand was private dancer which should be given out when men are first applying for a visa back in their home country(add the cost to the visa)this book i have read 3 times and enjoy it everytime as much as i did the first time.I wil have to get thai fever too now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 Stinginess is not an admired value when it comes to stinginess towards one's loved ones, IME That part I understand and agree with. I differ when the money going out is enormous, or if it's always on the Westerner and never on the Thai. But the book explains all of the reasons (both Thai and Western) in order for the couple to find their compromise. And what Western marriage doesn't have compromises when it comes to money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 the only book i have ever read re thailand was private dancer which should be given out when men are first applying for a visa back in their home country(add the cost to the visa)this book i have read 3 times and enjoy it everytime as much as i did the first time.I wil have to get thai fever too now. I bought Private Dancer after it was advised on the post I started awhile back - 'must Have' Books On Thailand And Thai Culture, Suggestions? Favourites? Objections? I'm gradually working my way through that list. Thai Fever is far superior IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 You might find the book "Very Thai" interesting as well, some friends of mine recommended but I have as yet to read it. Apparently it explains all sorts of things. For instance, why you only get those tiny little pink napkins in the restaurants here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 Very Thai is great! I wrote a post last year on what I felt were the top books for BKK and Thailand. I'll be editing to add Thai Fever... Bangkok Inside Out By Daniel Ziv and Guy Sharett Do’s and Don’ts in Thailand By Kenny Yee and Catherine Gordon Inside Thai Society By Niels Mulder Spiritual Abodes of Thailand By Barry Broman and William Warren Thailand, a Short History By David Wyatt Thai Ways By Denis Segaller The Spirit Houses of Thailand By Peter Reichart and Pathawee Khongkhunthian Very Thai, Everyday Popular Culture By Philip Corawel-Smith (verythai.com) Working with the Thais By Henry Holmes More Living Thai Ways By Michael KellerClaxton + Alison Woo (Living Thai Ways is also good) And for living in Bangkok, there is no better bible than the Bangkok Guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabai Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Unfortunately I don't think there is a book out there that could explain Mr Sabai Gonna read thai fever though as I have now heard soooooo many reviews.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangkokcooper Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Hey! I would say that Thai Fever is also a good read for any Thai women that wants to understand how westerners think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I thought it was called "Thailand Fever"? I read it years ago and agree it has some good insights. Couldn't get my Thai friends to bother to give it a look though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabai Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Do you still have it girlx?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I bought it, read it and then gave it to the boyfriend (I'm gay). We both found it very useful in explaining things that were frustrating to us both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasic1 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I read the book when I was contemplating a LTR with a Thai woman. She was repulsed by it since it would require concessions on her part and revealed Thai customs which she may have been hesitant to reveal. However I was shocked about bringing my pay stubs to their clan so they could determine how much of a tithe to pay the family not to mention a dowry for the mother. This was getting too rich for my blood already and although I obviously would take good care of my wife, there were just too many potential expenditures of a undefined nature that would stress the relationship. So being a coward and needing to ensure my own survival I discounted proceeding into marital Thai bliss! LOL! I'm surprised how useful it is for Western women. I've avoided Thai Fever all these years as I was lumping it into 'that' category but I've clearly done it a disservice. It's only been recently that I felt drawn to it. But again it was due to all the guys raving about it when I asked about must have books on living in Thailand. Then when Chris coauthored the new Thai dictionary too, I ordered both at the same time. I now consider Thai Fever highly recommended reading for Western women with Thai partners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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