Difficulties Meeting Nice Girls In Thailand

[adjan jb]

Do not send the letter, I know you are not taking the letter yourself but its still invasive and to be honest mate a bit too on top, you will chase her away. you have made the move with the sms and its up to her to reply.

One way to go would be to send her sms and tell her you will be in a certain restaurant at a certain time and invite her, tell her you would like to see her. if she doesn't turn up then forget her

That sounds like a good advice.

[dave111223]

Don't send her a letter, flowers, or anything nice, it shows you are a little girly man.

Send her some dog shit, that proves how manly and hard you really are.

Sad but sometimes true.

Sometimes you need to show women what they are missing... go the pub and pickup a cougar and have a good old time.

If you've lady friend calls you and asks you would you've been up to tell she you went out with another woman (as you thought she was no longer talking with you). You might be surprised that she actually takes more of an interest in you .

If she doesn't call at least you had a good old time.

Edited March 17, 2009 by dave111223

[DaleBlue]

Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook.

Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad.

Please try not to mention "The Inst". Mark's LM police may be knocking at your door tonight. Your girfriend and you could got to jail for 3 to 15 years. Just a friendly reminder.

[Briggsy]

What's a cougar?

And what the helll is an Albatross Alert?

We're not playing golf with Somchai "I'll do my own score card" Cheaty Cheat, you know.

[BigSnake]

There are many nice Thai Girls around but the difficulties in meeting them is pure and simple most of them want NOTHING to do with a Farang. Yes speaking of the ones from well to do families, they desire to finish higher education, i.e., Oxford, Yale, and the likes, after education with status and class they mostly likely will marry someone that the mother and father approve of>>a guy from a well to do Thai or Chinese family. During my 16 plus years in the Kingdom I have attended nine wedding and without questions this was the case in all of them. Anyway just MY observation/thoughts, I am sure there are some that will date a farang and maybe even lead to love and a wedding, however; they are far and few between. Good Luck, hope you find TRUE love and happiness in whatever girl you choose.

[AndyBlueEyes]

What's a cougar?

And what the helll is an Albatross Alert?

We're not playing golf with Somchai "I'll do my own score card" Cheaty Cheat, you know.

A 'Cougar' is the term for a woman that dates or marries a younger man.

Picture of a well known cougar.

[AnthonyR1]

ITS THAILAND. FIND ANOTHER!

[dave111223]

What's a cougar?

An older sort, who's been around the block a bit and knows how to have a good time (not a pro)

[TopDogger]

You've invaded her private space by showing up at her office unannounced.. Leave her alone for 3 or 4 days, then call.. If she misses you and nothing else has been going on she'll be happy that u called and have some excuse as to why she's not answered SMS's etc.. Otherwise, move on...

[TopDogger]

And her long-time on/off Thai boyfriend (similar age and social background) has just found out about you (from her) and he knows how to apply the pressure to get her to give you the flick. But she'll keep you in the background for a while to apply some pressure back on him.

And the next time he messes up she'll surface again...

[GreenSnapper]

Leave her alone for 3 or 4 days, then call.. If she misses you and nothing else has been going on she'll be happy that u called .

No. It will just demonstrate that you miss her and are weak.

Wait a few more days until she will call (or SMS). She will do 95% for sure.

[TopDogger]

No. It will just demonstrate that you miss her and are weak.

Wait a few more days until she will call (or SMS). She will do 95% for sure.

Quite possibly, BUT she seems to think she has something to spit the dummy about, so it might be a good idea to play into her in this scenario... Soon after, make it perfectly clear who the boss is however...

[scottyd]

I love older women, especially the ones with a pension and a lead hat.

[wefearourdespot]

I don't understand why the OP doesn't simply barfine bar girls saving himself all the crap he wrote about.

[deon]

What would you call a normal thai person,thats abit of a weird thing to say if you ask me .It kind of implies most are not .All i would say to you is open your eyes, they are everywhere.

[GreenSnapper]

I don't understand why the OP doesn't simply barfine bar girls saving himself all the crap he wrote about.

Some people enjoy climbing mountains, some take the cable car.

[wefearourdespot]

I don't understand why the OP doesn't simply barfine bar girls saving himself all the crap he wrote about.

Some people enjoy climbing mountains, some take the cable car.

And others just stay away of useless mountains and enjoy the wealthy plains.

[sassienie]

Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.

I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison.

The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad.

I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it.

But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me.

Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook.

Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad.

You appear desperate and perhaps these girls can sense this.

Maybe a bit too pushy and over keen.

Try taking things more slowly and let the girl start to know you and trust you before you dive in at the deep end.

If this is too slow for you and you would like to short cut the long drawn out courtship method, try Soutpeel`s open the wallet option.

Sorry but these are the facts of life.

Edited March 17, 2009 by sassienie

[spud1]

Has you state you have been dating this girl for only 1 week.Your post definately portrays a person of desperation or possibly some kind of weird stalker.She has obviously refused to return any contact you have attempted to make for a reason ,she is not interested.Turning up at her place of work would only have been a cause of embarrassment to her.You are in LOS <deleted>,forget it and move on.You are acting the same has some desperado in a western country.

[dbrenn]

I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun...

We had lots of nice days together...

You are trying too hard, coming across as desperate, and she has gone off you.

[teacup]

To the OP…

Been with her for only 1 week and already invaded her workplace?

NOT-A-SMART-THING-TO-DO

Why didn’t you study the culture and think first before you act.

Oh don’t ever use her workplace as a love-highway again…..it’s a no-no.

A 41 yrs old without equal or higher education than her, then the odd is against you from the start for a long term relationship, coz least likely the family will approve.

Still best of luck to you

[Marksamui]

According to the OP the girl is not the slightest bit Thai and lived and worked abroad?

So why does she now have a massive hangup on Thai culture? If she was more of an international person then the visit to her work place would not have been offensive to her culture!

She just probably thought that it was a little desparate, play it cool old man and maybe her interest will pick up...

[teacup]

According to the OP the girl is not the slightest bit Thai and lived and worked abroad?

So why does she now have a massive hangup on Thai culture? If she was more of an international person then the visit to her work place would not have been offensive to her culture!

She just probably thought that it was a little desparate, play it cool old man and maybe her interest will pick up...

The OP also said....."She is slightly old-fashioned in outlook."

Whatever the word "outlook" means

[dbrenn]

To the OP…

Been with her for only 1 week and already invaded her workplace?

NOT-A-SMART-THING-TO-DO

Why didn't you study the culture and think first before you act.

Oh don't ever use her workplace as a love-highway again…..it's a no-no.

A 41 yrs old without equal or higher education than her, then the odd is against you from the start for a long term relationship, coz least likely the family will approve.

Still best of luck to you

Interesting point you make Teacup, when you say that "equal or higher education" is a deciding factor. I always thought that "equal or higher occupation" is more to the point.

I agree that a 41 year old chasing a mainstream Thai girl in her mid twenties would have to have some serious redeeming qualities to avoid the family veto on a relationship...

Agreed that invading her workplace after only dating her for one week would be a huge turn off to anyone, and looks more like stalking than romance.

[CarlBkk]

41 is too old for a respectable 26 year old educated, westernised Thai women to take seriously. From the sounds of it you're lucky you got so far with her. Plenty of older businesswomen here who would be more appreciative and have more in common. Contrary to others, you certainly don't have to try hard to keep things going usually. You could try the personal ads in BK mag etc.

[peter991]

You are trying too hard, coming across as desperate, and she has gone off you.

Reading the replies - this sums it up. To the OP, close your eyes for a minute and imagine you are back in Farangland. Imagine YOU are a 26yo man and a 40-something lady is coming on strong ... how would YOU react.

If she is semi-Westernised, she's probably looking for a younger man.

My recommendation: Give up on this one - there's 35 million females in Thailand - I am sure there's a lady in her mid-30s who's waiting for you.

Best wishes, Peter.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I think the OP is thinking too much where it's not needed.

And he's going after girls in serial, i.e. one after the other. You should aproach this in parallel, and then see how the sticks fall.

There is such an incredible number of available women in the 25-35 age range that it's really not worth the effort trying to understand each and every one of them. She's still getting used to the idea, let her. Date other girls and then see what happens. The time you spent typing this into Thaivisa you could have spent chatting online with the next couple prospects.

Edited March 18, 2009 by WinnieTheKhwai

[DP25]

This isn't even a Thai thing. Showing up at a chick's work place after knowing her for a week or two, bearing gifts, and being old enough to be her father, is embarrassing for the chick in any culture, and it makes you look crazy.

[teacup]

To the OP…

Been with her for only 1 week and already invaded her workplace?

NOT-A-SMART-THING-TO-DO

Why didn't you study the culture and think first before you act.

Oh don't ever use her workplace as a love-highway again…..it's a no-no.

A 41 yrs old without equal or higher education than her, then the odd is against you from the start for a long term relationship, coz least likely the family will approve.

Still best of luck to you

Interesting point you make Teacup, when you say that "equal or higher education" is a deciding factor. I always thought that "equal or higher occupation" is more to the point.

No I didn't say that is the "deciding factor", but rather "one of the main factors" for consideration of the family in this circle, and of course higher occupation is a bonus too.

You know....every QUALITIES you have will be on the points system, and working as matrix....FOR or AGAINST YOU

The fact is.......It's just-not-so simple......like dating a simple girl from a simple family ---in this society.

[t.s]

Do not send the letter, I know you are not taking the letter yourself but its still invasive and to be honest mate a bit too on top, you will chase her away. you have made the move with the sms and its up to her to reply.

One way to go would be to send her sms and tell her you will be in a certain restaurant at a certain time and invite her, tell her you would like to see her. if she doesn't turn up then forget her

That sounds like a good advice.

i wasn't aware that advice fit into the countable noun category.

beyond that it sounds like lousy advice.

From the OP:

Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook.

Is it only me that views this statement as contradictory?

quit being so desperate. its unbecoming.

Edited March 18, 2009 by t.s