Are Aussies Really So Bad?

chuchok · February 14, 2005

Crap. The best SAS is the Poms..followed by the Kiwis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL! and where do the Kiwis go to train?? It wasn't over 6 months ago either that the Poms were over here doing the same thing as the Kiwis! And that isn't hearsay! Known FACT!

Go and ask the US military who have the best SAS?! You might be surprised! And anyway... i'm sure you know the actual facts otherwise you wouldn't have posted that statement or was that only YOUR opinion?!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What are you going on about?

Jai Dee · February 14, 2005

Crap. The best SAS is the Poms..followed by the Kiwis.

LOL! and where do the Kiwis go to train?? It wasn't over 6 months ago either that the Poms were over here doing the same thing as the Kiwis! And that isn't hearsay! Known FACT!

Did you hear???

The NZ armed forces have just been upgraded...

chuchok · February 14, 2005

What have you done to my girlfriend!Shame on you.

I actually would have believed that the photo was true if , Jessie didn't have a proper military hat on.Everybody knows that the NZ Army can't afford luxury items like that.

Thaiboxer · February 14, 2005

Liked the little sheep soldier.

Crazy Dave · February 14, 2005

the uk sas also have there main weapons for disrupting the kiwi military

chuchok · February 14, 2005

That's dirty pool!!..brilliant!

udon · February 14, 2005

the uk sas also have there main weapons for disrupting the kiwi military

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's Stickman's ex-gf...... Where did you find it? He'll be very upset

chuchok · February 14, 2005

Crap. The best SAS is the Poms..followed by the Kiwis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL! and where do the Kiwis go to train?? It wasn't over 6 months ago either that the Poms were over here doing the same thing as the Kiwis! And that isn't hearsay! Known FACT!

Go and ask the US military who have the best SAS?! You might be surprised! And anyway... i'm sure you know the actual facts otherwise you wouldn't have posted that statement or was that only YOUR opinion?!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is from a pommie bloke that I know that knows alot more that I do about special forces.remember his words, not mine.

"No Australian ever passed the NZSAS selection, plenty of Kiwis and POM pass aussie selection... The regiments cross train - standard practice, the Kiwis teach tracking - with out a doubt the BEST trackers. The brits teach at the European Recce and Special Forces School in Germany (they help run it), the Aussies - they teach Kangeroo Shagging - not much call for it though...

The Yanks have Special Forces for Africa, the SEALS, ParaRescue, even a group called Special Forces... However as far as the yanks are concerned - top of the pile is Delta Force - founder is one Charlie Beckworth, leader of the Son Tay Raiders - ex Special Forces officer and in whoes own words after a secondment to the SAS in the sixties said that the SAS were the best.... The Delta Force is based on the SAS as is their training and recruitment..."

Another arguement - in the Gulf Round 1 - Storming Norman forbade the use of Special Forces with the exception of the SAS..

dr_Pat_Pong · February 14, 2005

the uk sas also have there main weapons for disrupting the kiwi military

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's Stickman's ex-gf...... Where did you find it? He'll be very upset

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Stickman has been advertising his velcro gloves for sale. I wondered if he was having a domestic with Baaaah-baraaaaah

chuchok · February 15, 2005

Is this why all you Aussies are over here.

dr_Pat_Pong · February 16, 2005

Is this why all you Aussies are over here.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

C'mon Chuchok ... she's only keeping her hand in ( so to speak ) practice makes perfect

aaaaaa · February 17, 2005

I thought since this is a jokes forum - this would be relevent coz it seems funny. mind you - I'm neither supporter nor hater of both ozies and kiwis....

NZ protester goes to court naked

An environmental activist in New Zealand who has been charged with indecent exposure continued his protest on Thursday by arriving at court naked....

but brits seems to be even funnier - they even posted a "generic bottom" photo on the page (although not sure - is it the butt o the guy or not )

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/default.stm

chuchok · February 18, 2005

I would have normally changed this around,but can't be arsed...enjoy you Aussie bleeders....

Dear Abbey,

"I need your advice. I am a sailor in the Australian Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Redfern and one of my sisters, who lives in Canberra, is married to a Kiwi. My father and mother have recently been arrested growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Kings Cross. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Long Bay Jail, Sydney, for the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1994, the other is currently being held in the Parramatta remand centre on charges of incest with three of his children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Chatswood and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiance utilising her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Kiwi? "

dr_Pat_Pong · February 19, 2005

I would have normally changed this around,but can't be arsed...enjoy you Aussie bleeders....
Dear Abbey,

"I need your advice. I am a sailor in the Australian Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Redfern and one of my sisters, who lives in Canberra, is married to a Kiwi. My father and mother have recently been arrested growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Kings Cross. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Long Bay Jail, Sydney, for the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1994, the other is currently being held in the Parramatta remand centre on charges of incest with three of his children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Chatswood and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiance utilising her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Kiwi? "

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Loved it. Thanks

Jai Dee · February 19, 2005

Jai Dee · February 19, 2005

Jai Dee · February 19, 2005

And on the subject of Kiwis....

dr_Pat_Pong · February 19, 2005

chuchok · February 19, 2005

Right, this is war. More to come.

surin · February 19, 2005

Crap. The best SAS is the Poms..followed by the Kiwis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL! and where do the Kiwis go to train?? It wasn't over 6 months ago either that the Poms were over here doing the same thing as the Kiwis! And that isn't hearsay! Known FACT!

Go and ask the US military who have the best SAS?! You might be surprised! And anyway... i'm sure you know the actual facts otherwise you wouldn't have posted that statement or was that only YOUR opinion?!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is from a pommie bloke that I know that knows alot more that I do about special forces.remember his words, not mine.

"No Australian ever passed the NZSAS selection, plenty of Kiwis and POM pass aussie selection... The regiments cross train - standard practice, the Kiwis teach tracking - with out a doubt the BEST trackers. The brits teach at the European Recce and Special Forces School in Germany (they help run it), the Aussies - they teach Kangeroo Shagging - not much call for it though...

The Yanks have Special Forces for Africa, the SEALS, ParaRescue, even a group called Special Forces... However as far as the yanks are concerned - top of the pile is Delta Force - founder is one Charlie Beckworth, leader of the Son Tay Raiders - ex Special Forces officer and in whoes own words after a secondment to the SAS in the sixties said that the SAS were the best.... The Delta Force is based on the SAS as is their training and recruitment..."

Another arguement - in the Gulf Round 1 - Storming Norman forbade the use of Special Forces with the exception of the SAS..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Simple explanation.....No Australian wants to apply, ever tried to apply and ever bloody likely to apply to join NZ forces. The reason we accept them in OZ is 'cos most of you live here and we need someone to do the latrines and ablution duties

chuchok · February 19, 2005

Crap. The best SAS is the Poms..followed by the Kiwis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL! and where do the Kiwis go to train?? It wasn't over 6 months ago either that the Poms were over here doing the same thing as the Kiwis! And that isn't hearsay! Known FACT!

Go and ask the US military who have the best SAS?! You might be surprised! And anyway... i'm sure you know the actual facts otherwise you wouldn't have posted that statement or was that only YOUR opinion?!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is from a pommie bloke that I know that knows alot more that I do about special forces.remember his words, not mine.

"No Australian ever passed the NZSAS selection, plenty of Kiwis and POM pass aussie selection... The regiments cross train - standard practice, the Kiwis teach tracking - with out a doubt the BEST trackers. The brits teach at the European Recce and Special Forces School in Germany (they help run it), the Aussies - they teach Kangeroo Shagging - not much call for it though...

The Yanks have Special Forces for Africa, the SEALS, ParaRescue, even a group called Special Forces... However as far as the yanks are concerned - top of the pile is Delta Force - founder is one Charlie Beckworth, leader of the Son Tay Raiders - ex Special Forces officer and in whoes own words after a secondment to the SAS in the sixties said that the SAS were the best.... The Delta Force is based on the SAS as is their training and recruitment..."

Another arguement - in the Gulf Round 1 - Storming Norman forbade the use of Special Forces with the exception of the SAS..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Simple explanation.....No Australian wants to apply, ever tried to apply and ever bloody likely to apply to join NZ forces. The reason we accept them in OZ is 'cos most of you live here and we need someone to do the latrines and ablution duties

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yep, you're correct again.Can't argue with that.Pity about your SAS though.

dr_Pat_Pong · February 19, 2005

Crap. The best SAS is the Poms..followed by the Kiwis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL! and where do the Kiwis go to train?? It wasn't over 6 months ago either that the Poms were over here doing the same thing as the Kiwis! And that isn't hearsay! Known FACT!

Go and ask the US military who have the best SAS?! You might be surprised! And anyway... i'm sure you know the actual facts otherwise you wouldn't have posted that statement or was that only YOUR opinion?!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is from a pommie bloke that I know that knows alot more that I do about special forces.remember his words, not mine.

"No Australian ever passed the NZSAS selection, plenty of Kiwis and POM pass aussie selection... The regiments cross train - standard practice, the Kiwis teach tracking - with out a doubt the BEST trackers. The brits teach at the European Recce and Special Forces School in Germany (they help run it), the Aussies - they teach Kangeroo Shagging - not much call for it though...

The Yanks have Special Forces for Africa, the SEALS, ParaRescue, even a group called Special Forces... However as far as the yanks are concerned - top of the pile is Delta Force - founder is one Charlie Beckworth, leader of the Son Tay Raiders - ex Special Forces officer and in whoes own words after a secondment to the SAS in the sixties said that the SAS were the best.... The Delta Force is based on the SAS as is their training and recruitment..."

Another arguement - in the Gulf Round 1 - Storming Norman forbade the use of Special Forces with the exception of the SAS..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Simple explanation.....No Australian wants to apply, ever tried to apply and ever bloody likely to apply to join NZ forces. The reason we accept them in OZ is 'cos most of you live here and we need someone to do the latrines and ablution duties

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

dr_Pat_Pong · February 19, 2005

The lads won't join up unless there's a sheep quota

chuchok · February 19, 2005

After working for many long, hard years, an American hooker decides to finally retire. Not wanting to spend the rest of her life alone, she also decides to marry. Having been with so many perverted men over the years, she feels that she needs a change and commits to marrying only a virgin male of approximately the same age as herself.

She takes out numerous ads in various newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin approximately 55 years old. She finally narrows her choices down to a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian outback. After a thorough background check, she is convinced that he indeed has never been with a woman, and they are soon married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked, and the bed and everything in the room piled in one corner.

Thinking this rather kinky, she asks her husband, "I thought you had never been with a woman before?"

He replies, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing Skippy, we're gonna need all the room we can get!"

dr_Pat_Pong · February 20, 2005

After working for many long, hard years, an American hooker decides to finally retire. Not wanting to spend the rest of her life alone, she also decides to marry. Having been with so many perverted men over the years, she feels that she needs a change and commits to marrying only a virgin male of approximately the same age as herself.
She takes out numerous ads in various newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin approximately 55 years old. She finally narrows her choices down to a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian outback. After a thorough background check, she is convinced that he indeed has never been with a woman, and they are soon married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked, and the bed and everything in the room piled in one corner.

Thinking this rather kinky, she asks her husband, "I thought you had never been with a woman before?"

He replies, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing Skippy, we're gonna need all the room we can get!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Jai Dee · February 22, 2005

A Diary of a Pom moving to Darwin.....

August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Darwin!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.

October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat sh1t. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as h*ll. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.

November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, Hot enough for you today? I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 d*mn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this d*mn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th: Welcome to H*LL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, Hot enough for you today? My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Darwin. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding…

dr_Pat_Pong · February 22, 2005

A Diary of a Pom moving to Darwin.....
August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Darwin!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.

October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat sh1t. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as h*ll. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.

November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, Hot enough for you today? I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 d*mn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this d*mn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th: Welcome to H*LL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, Hot enough for you today? My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Darwin. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding…

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are posting 'em better and better

Patong Bob · February 22, 2005

Keep this one going.....haven't laughed so much on any topic before.

From Richmond, Vic, by the way.

tuky · February 22, 2005

chuchok · February 22, 2005

Brilliant...Where can I get some Rohypnol then....

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