The Smaller Scams That Lead To The Bigger Distrust In Relationships.

[barky]

I've been lied to and/or scamed here a number of times in the past by Thais (usually by women). For the record before arriving in Thailand I had never been scamed out of money in my life. The last time I can say I was scamed here was three and a half years ago by a large property developer of 75,000 baht, but I got over that and have moved on . Since then I haven't been scamed at all. Simple reason, outside of my wife and her family and her trusted friends (more through respect for my wife I'm sure) , I trust no-one at all. I keep my antenae up at all times, I never give over any money unless I get something of value in return. And, most importantly, keep my contact with Thais on a needs basis only.

Edited April 21, 2009 by barky

[G54]

Now stepping out of my Moderator role for a second, may I add an observation: Thailand is a very hierarchal society in which people from very different social classes do not have egalitaruian friendships. Relationships between people of different classes are governed by very well understood rules and reciprocal obligations. I'm not defending this system, just describing it.

Westerners often breach these systems, trying to establish friendhsips across class lines in a manner which just does not fit within the societal rules. Chaos, confusion and what to us constitutes scamming behavior often follows.

I am not saying that one has to emulate the behavior of middle/upper class Thais. This would go against many of our natures and values. But do be aware of how things work here and cautious about the signals you send, and how the "rules of engagement" mat be perceived (or nor perceived) in relationships with Thais of significantly lower socio-economic status than oneself.

In over 2 decades of living here I have noticed that a common mistake made both by westerners and by Thais when dealing with westerners is to assume, upon seeing that the rules one is accustomed to are not being applied, that there are no rules. When a westerner whose socioeconomic status is higher breaks the rules by establishing a friendship, sometimes all that is perceived is that "the rules"have been broken, which to some people signals a free-for-all. That the westerner in fact has rules/expectations may not be understood at all. Or, in an effort to frame the relationship in terms that are understandable, they may decode that the relationship is one of benefactor/patron to beneficee -- because the equal relationship you had in mind just doesn't translate in this cultural context.

Good post Sheryl. To the point and does help to see things from a different perspective. Something that is not always easy to do.

I appreciate some of my posts of late seem to be critical, even contentious to some, but they are all relevant to the way life can be here. Life can be wonderful and often is.

Yet too often many of us are led on to believing one thing while disguising the fact something else is in the background, as if we should actually know what it is, without being told. I feel that then this is when these problems occur.

Maybe we do need educating more about the way the system works, or at least an insight like yours.

I, for one, would be and am more than happy to admit I have failings in the way I use my 'Western ways' to tackle a problem. My thought processes are Western.

Yet within myself, I am more than happy to try and accommodate the needs of a Thai in my daily life and in a relationship.

hel_l, I cook, I clean, I do the laundry, for both of us too. I help out with school monies, with children (if there are any) for clothes or milk or food. It is what I am. ( I can see a lot of men groaning at the thought of me doing all that, but it is the way I was brought up, to look after myself and not have a skivvy). Yet I am told I am 'for me' only.

Then when something like the 'scams' happen (and I do note the point you make where we would think it a scam but they do not) many of us feel cheated and then feel the relationship has broken down and also that distrust develops between us. That distrust after it happens once too often cannot be easily erased.

Off Topic slightly :-

Now, as I move tentatively into another relationship and bear in mind what you have said about relationships (above) and what others have said in previous topics, I actually fear for the next woman in my life and her 'safety' from the ex because of vindictive events surrounding me at the moment.

Anyway, Sheryl, the advice and insight given above is something I for one will try my best to bear in mind as I move onward

[Shotime]

Anybody who thinks I was comparing my daughter to a prostitute, obviously misses the point. Which is not uncommon. I'm having some problems with my son cause my daughter-in-law is an arrogant can't use the word, and also continually fails to see the point.

Being scammed goes on everywhere and for anything. It's an American way of life, if not the world. Which it is. We're just better at it. Look at the banking scandal. It's good to look at things that way cause then you have nowhere to go but up. OK. Here's the point.

If you're being scammed, by someone who's good at it, you don't know. Edit: To say you've never been scammed, is like saying you've been scammed. End of edit. That's got to be the definition of the word. I stay with those I can tell cause that way, I minimize my losses. That's the name of the game. Look around you.

Edit: If I hadn't matured, like I have to this point, I would have just made some remark about comparing a prostitute to your mammy. End of edit.

Edited April 21, 2009 by Shotime

[Shotime]

what kind of father compoares his daughter to a prostitute..........

Yours

[saywhat]

when one has problems with a son because of arrogant daughter in law usually the parent blames the wrong person. in many cases the son has no backbone. ITS THE SON WHO IS THE PROBLEM NOT THE LOVELY DAUGHTER IN LAW.

[norrona]

one of the greatest scams I ever heard about was a mates g/f who stayed in his condo..............and angry and accused me of not believing her

what was even worse was my then mate when I explained it all to him got even more short with me and accused me of jealousy towards his relationship

they really suit each other and are still married and living in U.K, her brother has just finished school in Korat and is now going to University so she has done well and so has the brother, he didn't buy her any more thai gold but treated her to a rolex watch and a gucci bag at bkk airport I got told....I see where she was brought up and have to say a rolex watch and gucci bag go really well down the local shop that sells chang beer and mama noodles

I can't immagine for one moment why he thought he saw the little green demon of spite and envy in you!!

does something in my post seem familiar to you

I never had any interest in anyone elses relationship to be honest, i just found lots of men that wanted to tell me about how good their girls is, how she was different to the others and how fortunate they were....ignorance is bliss eh!!!

as a former ex-pat of pattaya i met many girls who were great girls, but marry them and shower them with gifts when they don't know the true value of money.....Nah don't think so

[norrona]

. I keep my antenae up at all times, I never give over any money unless I get something of value in return. And, most importantly, keep my contact with Thais on a needs basis only.

using that rule will keep you out of any real dramas, problem is you end up thinking bad of everyone, I did when I lived in Pattaya and to be honest found it a very lonely life....

[Shotime]

when one has problems with a son because of arrogant daughter in law usually the parent blames the wrong person. in many cases the son has no backbone. ITS THE SON WHO IS THE PROBLEM NOT THE LOVELY DAUGHTER IN LAW.

You are 100% correct, except for THE LOVELY DAUGHTER IN LAW part.

[F1fanatic]

Surely if a man is helping a Thai lady out, if a man is paying the rent, the electric, food, nights out and such, we could or should expect some honesty in return from our girlfriends?

Your paying to have a Thai g/f and you "expect some honesty"???

There might be a few things you'd expect to get out of that situation; honesty aint one of them.

That does not say I am paying to have a Thai g/f. It says I am paying the electric, rent etc. and that would be in the house where I live that she moved into. Paying for nights out in restaurants etc, isn't that the normal thing to do with a g/f ??

Ummm no. Back where you came from if your g/f moved in she would pay half the rent and living expenses. She may stop working later, but not from the get-go! If your g/f expects you to pay everything immediately - you're 'paying to have a g/f'.

Someone I know suggested to his thai g/f that she move in with him. She was v keen until he said that to show her commitment to the relationship he expected her to pay half the expenses.

They broke up immediately!

Edited April 21, 2009 by F1fanatic

[Shotime]

Surely if a man is helping a Thai lady out, if a man is paying the rent, the electric, food, nights out and such, we could or should expect some honesty in return from our girlfriends?

Your paying to have a Thai g/f and you "expect some honesty"???

There might be a few things you'd expect to get out of that situation; honesty aint one of them.

That does not say I am paying to have a Thai g/f. It says I am paying the electric, rent etc. and that would be in the house where I live that she moved into. Paying for nights out in restaurants etc, isn't that the normal thing to do with a g/f ??

Ummm no. Back where you came from if your g/f moved in she would pay half the rent and living expenses. If she's not - you're 'paying to have a g/f'.....

As far as paying to have a Thai g/f, I have a vacancy if anyone's interested. Details can be worked out later. Trust is excluded from any contracts.

[torrenova]

Thais are probably the most stupid liars in the world. Take the school computer thing as an example from the the OP and think about how many times we have heard about immediate and sudden emergencies where money was required and the excuse given was no better than that of a two year old. The old saying - kwai mai sabai springs to mind.

Suck a guy's nether regions and his brain goes to jelly as well. They know that. Guys should have more sense.

They come out with the most fanciful of excuses and can never back them up. They are perhaps right that some muppet straight from the airport on his first trip outside his home country may not understand the money but for them to think that someone living here a long time who has a complete use of his senses will fall for the same bullshit fairytale means that they show us no respect.

I have lend and received back Bt10,000 to a cashier once who paid me back at Bt2,000 a month from her salary. We knew what it was for, could verify her story and so we lent it. Had an ex ask for 20k to stop her brother going to the monkey house when he had already skipped the country once !

The OP has to learn that you cannot just help out these people because the more you help the more they nee help a the less they do for themselves. Like people who have too many kids in Africa, they will not learn, so some have to die. It is the way of the world. Keeping them all alive only creates further problems down the line just as keeping helping lying cheating Thais just makes them less self sufficient and reliant upon the dumb western ATM.

[sbk]

Excuse me, but you are saying that the ability to lie well and cleverly is what? a good thing? That the person who gets fleeced is stupid but the person who does the fleecing is stupider?

[F1fanatic]

Excuse me, but you are saying that the ability to lie well and cleverly is what? a good thing? That the person who gets fleeced is stupid but the person who does the fleecing is stupider?

Yes, its funny but we hear it so many times. And they've no idea that the true stupidity reflects on them, not the woman who took their money!

[Shotime]

I agree his use of words is obnoxious, but he's not saying that the ability to lie well and cleverly is anything. Just that they're lousy liars. Liars are never good.

The person who gets fleeced is stupid or doesn't care, and the person who does the fleecing is lucky they found someone stupider than them or doesn't care. So, yes, he's saying the person who does the fleecing is lucky and stupid. Probably stupider than the poor sap letting himself be fleeced. Smartness isn't that much of a factor in these situations. It's deeper than that.

The rest of it is a moronic viewpoint of "give them a fish, and they'll have nothing. Teach them to fish, and they'll have fishes." Which has some truth to it.

[Ta22]

i do not agree with many part of the post .

assuming you think you are rich . and thai is alway in help .

mabe the kinda of girl you hang out is just found from the wrong place or seriously only reflect a group of thai girl that target farang . all i can say is the average thai girl . that i met is more hard working then most of the - girl i read up on the forum most of the time .

i think is cos most good girl would had their man happily away from such forum .. and those with problem .. usually had too much time in hand and end up in forum ranting their deed.

--

i date alot of girls and had alot of girl in thailand . with all respect . keep it simple . and aviod all kinda relationship /

i will alway pay within my reach and question little . about how there going to spend it .

if i am going to cry over the money i give . or question . how tere spend it . i would just say NO .

and not give anything .

i see a common cycle . of how thai girl . make up all kinda story to get money from farang .

sometime i ponder , if yo are going to look for a lady who can't take care of herself and need to lich on you to even pay her rental .

what are you putting all this up for ? for the Sex ? or for the simple joy of being able to keep a thai lady at home .

face it .. sometime is better to just . pay for service then think you are getting a free service bit end up paying from your nose .

make the relationship very clear and simple . if you going to get a girl in thailand that speak great english and work in a bar . chances is you are in for a ride .

- look at it . from 9,000 to 750 baht milk . is really small money . i spend more in a karaoke . in one night .

the one mistake most guy made in a money sucking relationship is cos there lie to one self .

---

don't lie to yourself . cos yo end up suffering for it .

- cut short and you spend less . if you want to marry a accountant you should look for an accountant not a big boobs english speaking thai girl with hotpant

Edited April 21, 2009 by Ta22

[G54]

^^^ In some ways I am inclined to agree with the idea of paying XXX per month. That way you have a contract. Yet, the idea of having a contract with a woman negates the idea of a relationship. So you have a prostitute at the end of the day and one you can never have a serious and meaningful relationship with IMHO.

If I want sex and sex alone, I can have that at 500 a night. But I would rather have something more meaningful, even if I have problems at the end of it.

[torrenova]

Excuse me, but you are saying that the ability to lie well and cleverly is what? a good thing? That the person who gets fleeced is stupid but the person who does the fleecing is stupider?

No, but many liars actually do think through their lie a little whereas most Thais just say the first thought that comes into their head no matter how absurd it might be. The fact that there is no chance for them to be believed escapes them. Or they don't care.

When employing Thais you constantly hear their bogus requests for this or that, mostly time off, money or why they failed to come to work. Perhaps 1 in 100 is a true excuse but like the boy who cried wolf ..............

[Sabum]

Wow.. you're kinda clueless a bit... where to start, ok:

Ive never been scammed. But Im not an old man that needs to buy my "friends". Look... if you are old and want to sleep with young women you must pay, pretty simple really. If you are being scammed by people that you are not sleeping with than why is that happening? If someone asks me for money for ANYTHING, my response is immediately no, unless its like my best friend (can't see how that would be a Thai person but anything is possible I guess).

G54, if non lovers are asking for money why would you even consider it? Are you the saviour of Thailand and all its poor people?

Why do people put so much value on money? Spoken like someone who has never had a lack of money, trust me when I tell you MONEY is the most important thing to a poor Thai person. Especially as a measure of trust? If someone is going to steal your money that is kinda pretty much just a tiny teensy weensy bit an indication that they CANT be trusted lol. Whether they're lovers or not, is money the ultimate test of trust? Its the one we are talking about in reference to the situaiton in Thailand where it is a national past time to scam money from someone. My daughter plays me constantly. I tell her she plays me just like a working girl. She replied, "Dad, I'm allowed to play you cause I'm your daughter." I love that girl. Totally not a relevant example, she is your daughter and I presume a child (under 18).

What does age have to do with anything related to being played? Age has EVERYTHING to do with it. If you are old you are going to be a lot more likely to get scammed out of money as deep down Im sure you know that you are expected to take care of the girl to some extent, otherwise why on gods good earth would she be with an old wrinkled fat balding man over a young strong fit handsome one? With no financial incentive? CMON! Gimme a break... If you pay for sex, you pay for sex, or pay them to leave after the sex. If you're with a "lady," and she doesn't request favors once in awhile, you're with a monkey. No idea what you mean by "lady" if that is some sort of code... you certainly dont mean a regular woman (like mine) that has no need to ask for anything except my love and my body. She is well off, powerful ambitious and successful.... that makes her a monkey? lol However, there was a thread about monkeys feeding their number 1 the most and best portions of the food he gets. The monkey was the same age as his number 1.

I can't say I've never been scammed. However, at least I know when I'm being scammed. Sometimes I don't care. It's worth it. You sound old, just saying man.... you accept it because you KNOW you have to get scammed.

There's another monkey who says he's married (I assume to a Thai), but never been scammed. Some people just don't know when they're being scammed. WE DONT ALL DATE HOOKERS AND FARM GIRLS MKAY? THANKS! Get a clue.

Edited April 21, 2009 by Sabum

[LooseCannon]

-LooseCannon-

I suggest, it could be, your Gf, Wife, family, whoever, scam you so well, that you not even notice it,

There's another monkey who says he's married (I assume to a Thai), but never been scammed by his Thai wife/family or friends. Some people just don't know when they're being scammed.

I know it is very hard to believe that others have been successful when you yourself have only tasted failure, but when you make poor decisions you have to be prepared to accept the consequences. These 'consequences' are always much more palatable when you have others share in it.

Petty jealousies - the bane of the TV member, whether it is in love, money or circumstance.

[saywhat]

- cut short and you spend less . if you want to marry a accountant you should look for an accountant not a big boobs english speaking thai girl with hotpant

i tried the hiso , accouintant, business types, they dont give me time of day.

the hotpant big boob english speaking ones do!

funny how the well off thai girls dont go for me and my mates.

[Spee]

I am sure many of us here have been scammed by our g/f / partners and maybe we do not know about it. Yet a lot of these small scams lead to me, personally, distrusting more and more people along the way.

I will add, that I do have 3 people I know I can trust but I have known them for 18+ months in each case. And they are all ladies. So this is not a rant purely about ladies.

Well .... I'd like to look at both sides of that coin based upon my personal experiences.

First off, my Thai partner and her daughter are 100% dependent upon me for financial support. While I don't give her all of my financial details for reasons discussed in another post, I do discuss budgets with her and tell if money is tight or if I have enough for something extra that she may want to do. There have been times over the years where she has probably asked for a little more money than she needs, but I know this and typically don't have any issues with it. I know her well enough to know when she is hinting at it by the way she asks, and normally I don't sweat the details too much. I don't think this is any sort of "small scam" exclusive to Thai women, but rather a somewhat common characteristic of women in a typical "housewife" situation. For the most part, she respects "our money" and that is all I would really expect of her (regardless if she were a Thai lady or some other nationality).

But looking at the other side of the coin, earlier this year, my partner and I learned that we had been taken advantage of (or scammed if you will) by one of her younger brothers. For the past several years, including several while she was working and sending money home, we both supported the brother who was supposed to be going to school for computer/mass media technical training. He was supposed to have graduated last August. The agreement was that he was supposed to go to work after graduation and start kicking back part of his income to my partner as repayment for our financing his education and basic subsistence.

To make a long story short, he had not been going to school for the last 2-3 years, did not graduate and was basically living high on the hog (relatively speaking) from our generosity. Needless to say, both my partner and I were furious when the beans got spilled. Then the shit really hit the fan when my partner's mother started defending the son instead of my partner & I. She was crushed and I was absolutely livid! I went off on both the mother and son verbally and again with the son via email.

It took a couple of weeks with a lot of my partner crying over the phone to me & to herself (sia jai mahk mahk) and going to temple to see the monks for spiritual support, before she started getting over the dual shocker. Then out of the blue one day, she announced to me that we are "sam khon" meaning that only she, her daughter and I are family, and the welfare of the three of us is most important and to heck with her brother and mother. While we would have much rather not gone through this ordeal, it has made her a much stronger and more confident person and it has also strengthened our relationship that much more. Her saying that was very special to me personally as well.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that there may be more to the circumstances than meets the eye, and sometimes the end result can lead to a stronger relationship with more trust, even though something bad may have happened. It's sometimes harder to look for positive things than negative, but it can be worthwhile. I'm not saying to turn a blind eye for some of the obvious scamming that has been known to take place. But a good scam, like a good relationship takes two players. Make sure you know the full story before you pass judgment on which it is. As long as we can look ourselves in the mirror every day, then things can't be too bad.

[Shotime]

You're both right. I'm an old man who has never had any success. Just failure. I constantly get scammed, and I'm living outside of 7/11 on Soi 8. I am jealous of both of your successes, and I wish you nothing but continued success in your relationships.

I find regular women boring, and would much rather date a lying, scamming prostitute.

I give up. You win. I had written something previously about being scammed which is totally off the point. Please ignore it.

[saywhat]

I am sure many of us here have been scammed by our g/f / partners and maybe we do not know about it. Yet a lot of these small scams lead to me, personally, distrusting more and more people along the way.

I will add, that I do have 3 people I know I can trust but I have known them for 18+ months in each case. And they are all ladies. So this is not a rant purely about ladies.

Well .... I'd like to look at both sides of that coin based upon my personal experiences.

First off, my Thai partner and her daughter are 100% dependent upon me for financial support. While I don't give her all of my financial details for reasons discussed in another post, I do discuss budgets with her and tell if money is tight or if I have enough for something extra that she may want to do. There have been times over the years where she has probably asked for a little more money than she needs, but I know this and typically don't have any issues with it. I know her well enough to know when she is hinting at it by the way she asks, and normally I don't sweat the details too much. I don't think this is any sort of "small scam" exclusive to Thai women, but rather a somewhat common characteristic of women in a typical "housewife" situation. For the most part, she respects "our money" and that is all I would really expect of her (regardless if she were a Thai lady or some other nationality).

But looking at the other side of the coin, earlier this year, my partner and I learned that we had been taken advantage of (or scammed if you will) by one of her younger brothers. For the past several years, including several while she was working and sending money home, we both supported the brother who was supposed to be going to school for computer/mass media technical training. He was supposed to have graduated last August. The agreement was that he was supposed to go to work after graduation and start kicking back part of his income to my partner as repayment for our financing his education and basic subsistence.

To make a long story short, he had not been going to school for the last 2-3 years, did not graduate and was basically living high on the hog (relatively speaking) from our generosity. Needless to say, both my partner and I were furious when the beans got spilled. Then the shit really hit the fan when my partner's mother started defending the son instead of my partner & I. She was crushed and I was absolutely livid! I went off on both the mother and son verbally and again with the son via email.

It took a couple of weeks with a lot of my partner crying over the phone to me & to herself (sia jai mahk mahk) and going to temple to see the monks for spiritual support, before she started getting over the dual shocker. Then out of the blue one day, she announced to me that we are "sam khon" meaning that only she, her daughter and I are family, and the welfare of the three of us is most important and to heck with her brother and mother. While we would have much rather not gone through this ordeal, it has made her a much stronger and more confident person and it has also strengthened our relationship that much more. Her saying that was very special to me personally as well.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that there may be more to the circumstances than meets the eye, and sometimes the end result can lead to a stronger relationship with more trust, even though something bad may have happened. It's sometimes harder to look for positive things than negative, but it can be worthwhile. I'm not saying to turn a blind eye for some of the obvious scamming that has been known to take place. But a good scam, like a good relationship takes two players. Make sure you know the full story before you pass judgment on which it is. As long as we can look ourselves in the mirror every day, then things can't be too bad.

so why dont you get married. all sound good but you dont wanna go all the way.........why?

lots of big talk going on here. 100% financial support. she better like you. you take look in mirror sir and see what you got.

Edited April 22, 2009 by saywhat

[Tod Daniels]

I don't think there are any more or less people running scams on foreigners here in the glorious "Land 'O Thais" than any of the other developing third world country I've lived in (and that's been more than a few).

I DO however think there are a much higher number of gullible foreigners in this country than in others.

They seem all too willing to buy into any sob-story given them by a 'wolf in sheep's clothing', and end up getting 'fleeced'. I realize some of those 'sheep' are very attractive as well as adept at spinning yarns (no pun intended ).

In my dealings with the natives here of both sexes, the minute the subject turns to ANYTHING concerning money the warning bells go off, and my guard goes up.

I still practice the old "X-Files" television show catch phrase "Trust No One". It has served me well over the years.

Also please remember; "We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto". ..

[Livinginexile]

I am sure many of us here have been scammed by our g/f / partners and maybe we do not know about it.

No - never.

I think that you need to be a bit more discerning in the way you choose your partners.

Alternatively, try another country as your recent posts have shown you suffer from a severe lack of judgement when selecting Thais as friends.

Nor I.

Me neither.

[sanook2me]

I am sure many of us here have been scammed by our g/f / partners and maybe we do not know about it. Yet a lot of these small scams lead to me, personally, distrusting more and more people along the way.

I will add, that I do have 3 people I know I can trust but I have known them for 18+ months in each case. And they are all ladies. So this is not a rant purely about ladies.

I made a recent post asking about schools being open, as I was fairly sure I was about to be scammed.

Late one evening I was told a lady needed 9,000 Baht for an urgent payment for a computer course. The money had to be paid the following morning at 9 a.m. The lady in question needed 'help'. Help being the operative word.

So, I posted on TV and got a fast response. Following morning my suspicions were confirmed locally that the school was closed and would be for the rest of the Sonkran week.

I got a call early on Sunday morning to meet for coffee to discuss the 'help'.

I went along and we sat and talked. I already knew about the up-coming computer course and the need to pay for it. Apparently her mother had lent her the 9,000 that morning and she wanted it paying back. She says she had paid the school that morning. (The school that was closed).

Then came the crunch. You give I 9,000 now! And the hand shot out.

I asked to see the receipt.

No receipt. I shook my head and walked away.

Another one.

Yesterday I discover how much milk a 2 year old baby drinks - on average - in a month. Now I understand I was being scammed again.

Due to having a lot of aggravation going on in the background at this particular time, I did not even consider how much milk a 2 year old would consume in a week, never mind in a month.

I went to the shops with the lady in question and I paid for the milk. No problem 750 Baht a box (big box). Next week was the same. Every Monday for maybe 3 months. 4 large boxes of milk a month at 750 Baht each.

Now I discover a 2 year old will consume about 1 box a month. Not 4.

Begs the question of what was happening to the other 3 boxes.

To my mind, they were being sold on. No way was the baby drinking that much. So this small scam netted her nearly 3,000 Baht a month.

If it had not been for a chance conversation, I would never even have thought I was being scammed over the milk.

OK, in neither case was this a lot of money. The money is not the point. It is the trust.

Above are just 2 instances. I know of quite a few more over the years. Surely if a man is helping a Thai lady out, if a man is paying the rent, the electric, food, nights out and such, we could or should expect some honesty in return from our girlfriends?

Yes, I have had Thai men scamming me in small ways and because of that, the friendships have ended through a lack of trust.

As I say, it is not so much about the money but them building a lack of distrust that then leads on into other relationships. Therefore we head onwards and become ever more distrusting. Surely that has to damage a fledgling relationship?

I remember my first Thai g/f - she worked in a jewellers and sent most of her money back home to family - this meant i covered all bills, entertainment etc and didn't mind to start with but then I gave a loan to her and her sister in law to start a nursey business and then slowly i realised the money would never be returned to me as it was a seen as a gift.

Sure people get scammed but I wonder how many fall to a "scam" which really is naivety and lack of knowledge of Thai society.

I was so naive that I thought to start with things would be equal with me and g/f just like the West..but its not.

If you don't want to be "scammed" keep away from girls with large families and low income jobs...it really is that easy 99% of the time.

[misspalin]

You're both right. I'm an old man who has never had any success. Just failure. I constantly get scammed, and I'm living outside of 7/11 on Soi 8. I am jealous of both of your successes, and I wish you nothing but continued success in your relationships.

I find regular women boring, and would much rather date a lying, scamming prostitute.

I give up. You win. I had written something previously about being scammed which is totally off the point. Please ignore it.

Everything you write is off the point. Incomprehensible are most of your posts. I hear Whalen English school is a sponsor.

[Shotime]

You're both right. I'm an old man who has never had any success. Just failure. I constantly get scammed, and I'm living outside of 7/11 on Soi 8. I am jealous of both of your successes, and I wish you nothing but continued success in your relationships.

I find regular women boring, and would much rather date a lying, scamming prostitute.

I give up. You win. I had written something previously about being scammed which is totally off the point. Please ignore it.

Everything you write is off the point. Incomprehensible are most of your posts. I hear Whalen English school is a sponsor.

This has to be someone I might have offended in the past. Given they joined today, and have 6 posts. Unless they did some research and a background check. Maybe he's right, too.

In any case, if indeed I did something offensive to you, and you went to all that trouble, good.

I, also, have never been scammed in my whole life.

Quick edit to add my compliments on your clever choice of a handle. It's a play on asspain, right?

Edited April 22, 2009 by Shotime

[ALFREDO]

-Loose Cannon- Does not get scammed from him partner)

You live with a saint,

or she has much more money than you, (rich family, high paid job)

or you, yourself have nearly nothing, so where take?

She is a rich lady (Widow) has it all, why take from you?

But if she is that what most GF, wifes with Falang BF husbands here in TH are,

poor and 80% from Isaan, nearly all with a Barbackground,

than you are one of the very rare exceptions.

Possible but not easy to believe.

[Sabum]

Lots of us don't have poor bargirl girlfriends half our age and 10% our intellect. You guys just try to convince yourselves we do.