Hello, Any Young Professional Out There? I Am Back

[orchis]

Fair enough. Two years ago op posted in these forums he was a self-admitted (self-represented) 29.

There must be tons of similar people in Bangkok, those uni graduates in his preferred disciplines from let's say the

last 10 years.

His foot-in-mouth critique of people other (age, profession) signals poor self-worth and -acceptance.

It is extremely hard to get out of this self-imposed prison. I wish him luck.

[Timothy]

Hi all,

I'm neither an expat based in Thailand nor an active member in this forum, or particularly this sub-forum. However, I always find this site the most informative and helpful by such valuable information members sharing around. Yet,at the same time I was stunned by how people overacted sometimes (and I believe that is somehow a feature from an open forum, sadly).Having said that, I think this topic is getting fired unnecessarily. The OP is simply taking his effort to look for his ideal friends selected from his stereotyped standards. And these standards somehow sadden some mates or simply they find OP's message silly or unrealistic (at least BKK context?). Guys, please! If you don't think it's for you or for your good, you can just ignore it. Painless choice.

@OP: I don't know whether you're getting upset by previous responses, but it proves how people think towards your input, at least. However, as long as you have replies, it shows that there are still people having concern on your issue and even taking time to response. It may not be good, but it's not bad either. Better than having no reply indeed.

@flightcrew1: It's always my truly high respect and appreciation for what you have contributed to this forum (espiecially airlines information which I found them most helpful). However, in my humble opinion, you and the OP may have had unsettled issue in the past and this obviously affected your post. I believe, as many others here, that personal disclosure is not a good way to keep it go on. Being a gentle and kind person (as I always think about you), you would defintely have a better way to crack this down. I do think so. Also, I hope you are not getting irritated by what I've written so far. Waiting for your coming smart, yet informative posts (airlines sharing, I love it!)

Last but not least, good luck to the OP. But it's like you already had a wake-up call to think twice before taking any serious relationship.

Kevin

Thank you Kevin

I noted your comments and I think I was a bit upset with some of the comments. It was almost like I offended them by just asking around if there are people in a similar situatation of mine around.

It is the most simple thing for any human being, but perhaps those who have been made to believe that they are god to some are unable to accept that they are not to others. I have friends who are of all ages and situations but I simply want to hang out more with those who can share similar concerns (mortgages, relationship and career) and people of a similar age group and profession do have similar concerns.

I met flightcrew twice two years ago and I honestly thought we had really nice conversations. However, he just kept attacking me and disclosed private information (incorrectly) twice to my most surprise. To me this was more than being irritated. As a person who quite recently came out, I hope the he does not do the same to others. It is hurtful to be bullied by someone who you trusted enough to share your story. Again, I hope I am the last victim.

Thank you again.

[kevindk]

@Timothy: no problem. I simply love to see a friendly environment here where we can actually get chance to know new friends, new places and who knows ..new home . Any unnecessary misunderstanding, therefore, should be avoided.

I didn't mean to disrupt business between you and flightcrew1, well if that makes everyone happy then my pleasure.

Once again, wish you all the best.

Kevin

[flightcrew1]

Give it a rest Timothy. You are not a victim. I do not keep attacking you. You are only out on this web board which is an open forum. Nothing personal was disclosed which you did not disclose yourself two years ago. I agree that we met and had good intelligent conversations, but my point and I will say it again is that you want to meet people, but you don't follow through.

I do apologize with sincerity if you felt I bullied and attacked you which I was not intending to do but only to point out that your post was rehash of two years ago. This is the last I have to say on this matter so good luck!

[geriatrickid]

Expectations become unrealistic when they are not adapted or modified to reflect the realities of the environment. I don't think anyone needs to be a rocket scientist to appreciate the demographics of the foreign population in Thailand. The expat population is skewed to "older" people. It's a reflection of Thailand's work permit laws and Thailand's economic opportunities, nothing else.

The foreign population of desirable young professionals the OP is seeking is going to be skewed to certain professions. Everyone loves an architect, right? Smart and usually alot of fun. Sadly, meeting an expat architect is tough because it's a restricted profession. Who wouldn't want to make mom happy and snag a nice farang doctor? Good luck since the obstacles erected by the medical council discourage any from coming. (Moving here to work that is, not what you naughty boys were thinking. )

Sure there are younger people, but gosh maybe one of those tanned boys with the washboard abs won't make the cut because he's only a dive operator. Yes, there are young foreign professionals here but they are weighted to paper pushers like junior law clerks or accountants. No offense to you bean counters but smooching with a tax expert is about as fun as a root canal. The engineers? C'mon now, everyone has his own special story about engineers and the their propensity for projectile vomiting. I had a lovely date with a Swedish pathologist once. I couldn't wait for dinner to be over because she thought I'd be interested to learn all about stomach parasites and her recent observation of the disection of some dead guy with the worms tumbling out of the liver.

Local Thai professionals? Lots of them, but are they interested in young farang males? I dunno. Seems to me that the obstacles and cultural barriers are too many to encourage it. For a hiso professional to even consider crossing the great divide to farang pasture, that farang had better be dam_n excellent and that means the farang has to be established or very wealthy/educated. Since you don't get too many wealthy and educated young farangs in thailand (except the self proclaimed ones in TV) that translates into older farangs, because the older guys will be established. My experience with gay Thai professionals that would consider a farang, is that they prefer mature farangs. Maybe it's the supportive nature of the relationships or the understanding that comes with such a relationship, that's just my observation.

In light of the current financial conditions that are causing many foreign firms to eliminate expat positions, perhaps some adaptation is needed to broaden the search parameters to include people that aren't neccesarily professionals. Anyway, I'm out of my league on this. My intent was merely to comment on the fact that visa rules and the work situation discourage the entry of young foreign professionals.

[scorecard]

I'm just wondering what Timothy's 'young professional' checklist includes.

Is there a points system?

- Bachelor degree gets 50 points, Ph.D. gets 500 points?

(I have 2 bachelor degrees, 2 masters degrees, and 1 Ph.D. and I've worked in very senior executive positions with enormous respsonsibility across 14 countries, mostly in Asia, including Japan and China (Shanghai & Beijing) Singapore, and other places and many years in Thailand, and I can share of lot of interesting stories and funny escapades that I've experienced in all these countries. Today I'm a visiting professor at several Asian universities. But I'm old.)

And, does the checklist contain points for: sincererity, honesty, reliability, great sense of humor / fun to be with, or perhaps a high score for these would be wiped out by a lack of professional qualifications / points.

Just wondering.

[teacup]

Oh are we on points system now?

"Mr.geriatrickid" said above...." Everyone loves an architect, right? Smart and usually alot of fun."

Well that's me......so now I demand 2500 pts...haha

[geriatrickid]

Oh are we on points system now?

"Mr.geriatrickid" said above...." Everyone loves an architect, right? Smart and usually alot of fun."

Well that's me......so now I demand 2500 pts...haha

Ut oh. I always thought you were a girl. A vivacious nymph at that. Does this mean you are a man with all the bits and pieces? If so, are you a switch hitter now? Fancy a jump across the great divide do you? Out of curiousity, do you work as an architect in Thailand? It'd be interesting to see how you dealt with the visa restrictions. (genuine query, not being a smart ass.) If you don't work as an architect, then you aren't an architect per se and lose those 2500 pts. You will however get points for being a snappy dresser. (Architects have style. None of those plastic pocket pen holders or polysester blend underwear for them) At least you can design your own home and know that it won't disintegrate within a year.

Edited May 13, 2009 by geriatrickid

[PeaceBlondie]

Let's see Timothy' list of qualifications...

young professional gay expats.

I am not looking for any closeted young professional...

It is a matter of finding people of similar background and age group

Young - 20 something to 35

professional - bankers, accountant, engineers, doctors, lawyers. I think I meant to say people who are financially independent and can live comfortably (and can pay mortgages and holidays). I would not count farmers or civil servants or sons and daughters of billionaires. Not that because they are better or worse but because I think to certain extent your career tells a lot about you and your life.

I simply want to hang out more with those who can share similar concerns (mortgages, relationship and career) and people of a similar age group and profession do have similar concerns.

Now, those who do not meet his quals need to be quiet.

[teacup]

Oh are we on points system now?

"Mr.geriatrickid" said above...." Everyone loves an architect, right? Smart and usually alot of fun."

Well that's me......so now I demand 2500 pts...haha

Ut oh. I always thought you were a girl. A vivacious nymph at that. Does this mean you are a man with all the bits and pieces? If so, are you a switch hitter now? Fancy a jump across the great divide do you? Out of curiousity, do you work as an architect in Thailand? It'd be interesting to see how you dealt with the visa restrictions. (genuine query, not being a smart ass.) If you don't work as an architect, then you aren't an architect per se and lose those 2500 pts. You will however get points for being a snappy dresser. (Architects have style. None of those plastic pocket pen holders or polysester blend underwear for them) At least you can design your own home and know that it won't disintegrate within a year.

Ok you, gossip girl

Ut oh, bits and pieces? Huh…lol

U just say that coz U r jealous the op might be interested in me,….."YOUNG-and fres"....opps PRO-FES-SION-NAL that is….Da duh

Let just say… even a ghost is lusting after me….muahhhhaha

Yay, I’m a real architect according to my uni diploma

And

moi?….“working as an architect in Thailand?” ….Oii...do U think I like to eat peanuts for living?

BTW….hey be careful…the next thing, our OP Timothy might have us lined up according to heights!!!

And like blondie said,…if you don’t fit the criteria by the op,….then SKY UP!!!

Xoxo

TC

Edited May 14, 2009 by teacup

[onni4me]

I think it's a bit harsh to tell us non-qualified (actually I am not sure whether I could qualify or not but don't have concern about mortgages since paid two houses already, but now already over 35 with couple of years) that we can't give our two cents about OP's situation.

I feel that I have met him...er...actually people like him and not very convinced I would ever wanna meet another one. Not because he is professional and probably in a nice job/career but because I take people who talk about things like retirement and what they will do then...so boring.

They remind me of my previous life in Finland where I met so many people that were so interested about their POSSIBLE retirement that I wanted to puke. I consider mortgages similar since one can't really know if we live that long to be able to pay for them.

To Timothy and others like him...start living now! Don't wait! It might be that older or younger or less attractive guy that is the love of your life! Don't pass him on your scale because he doesn't fit predecided parameters. That might be the mistake of your life. Of course, you won't listen to me because you know everything already. But it makes me wonder...why do you need help from a website since you already know everything? There's got to be something that I misunderstood..?

[geriatrickid]

Teacup, I don't think I'm in the running to be anyone's boyfriend. I'm the token breeder for my gay friends. Breeder hag, I guess. That being said, my bestest friend is eligible. He meets the criteria. His biggest fear is having his heart broken again. I think he is like a lot of Thais with bad b/f experiences: They are super cautious and worry alot and he'd never show interest if he had to pass a social status test first. He'd get spooked.

I used to think the same way as the OP, so I can't criticize. I was probably even more tough. Thing is, that my attitude caused me to lose out on alot of opportunities. Hindsight is worth something I guess.

TV is filled with love stories. Sometimes that Isaan girl really is the right one despite what our prejudice says, just as the guy that might not look good on paper could be the right one. Man, being a grown up is hard. Anyways best of luck to the OP.

[pauleddy]

A very interesting thread. It has revealed arrogance and pomposity on the part of some. More important was the wisdom and depth of thought shown by others who replied.

I am still of the opinion that the OP was unwise to open himself to ridicule. Sentences like "You will have similar interests..." smack of elitism, or else read like a recruitment ad: "You will have considerable experience in offshore financial services..."

My original reply was a stab at satire/sarcasm, although there are much better ones.

Some of the recent postings were a joy. GKid's longer post which put the "availability" of GYPs in Thailand into perspective--wonderful.

I am now an older pro. Once upon a time, I wanted to meet younger pros like myself. Fair enough. My thanks go out to the OP for stimulating me into reply mode, and for generating such profundity within the thread.

Again, GKid got it right in the last post...

That quiet Isaan or Chiang Rai boy (or girl) in the corner with no degree but a nice nature and an open heart. (S)He may be the best of all.

(Who needs neurotic pros with their onion-layers of opacity/insecurity/self-delusion, stirred well with heaps of ego baggage stacked on top?)

Edited May 16, 2009 by pauleddy

[Unfaithful]

Since others are not being quiet, I will join.Timothy, follow your heart.Not always career.

[scorecard]

Hi all,

I'm neither an expat based in Thailand nor an active member in this forum, or particularly this sub-forum. However, I always find this site the most informative and helpful by such valuable information members sharing around. Yet,at the same time I was stunned by how people overacted sometimes (and I believe that is somehow a feature from an open forum, sadly).Having said that, I think this topic is getting fired unnecessarily. The OP is simply taking his effort to look for his ideal friends selected from his stereotyped standards. And these standards somehow sadden some mates or simply they find OP's message silly or unrealistic (at least BKK context?). Guys, please! If you don't think it's for you or for your good, you can just ignore it. Painless choice.

@OP: I don't know whether you're getting upset by previous responses, but it proves how people think towards your input, at least. However, as long as you have replies, it shows that there are still people having concern on your issue and even taking time to response. It may not be good, but it's not bad either. Better than having no reply indeed.

@flightcrew1: It's always my truly high respect and appreciation for what you have contributed to this forum (espiecially airlines information which I found them most helpful). However, in my humble opinion, you and the OP may have had unsettled issue in the past and this obviously affected your post. I believe, as many others here, that personal disclosure is not a good way to keep it go on. Being a gentle and kind person (as I always think about you), you would defintely have a better way to crack this down. I do think so. Also, I hope you are not getting irritated by what I've written so far. Waiting for your coming smart, yet informative posts (airlines sharing, I love it!)

Last but not least, good luck to the OP. But it's like you already had a wake-up call to think twice before taking any serious relationship.

Kevin

Thank you Kevin

I noted your comments and I think I was a bit upset with some of the comments. It was almost like I offended them by just asking around if there are people in a similar situatation of mine around.

It is the most simple thing for any human being, but perhaps those who have been made to believe that they are god to some are unable to accept that they are not to others. I have friends who are of all ages and situations but I simply want to hang out more with those who can share similar concerns (mortgages, relationship and career) and people of a similar age group and profession do have similar concerns.

I met flightcrew twice two years ago and I honestly thought we had really nice conversations. However, he just kept attacking me and disclosed private information (incorrectly) twice to my most surprise. To me this was more than being irritated. As a person who quite recently came out, I hope the he does not do the same to others. It is hurtful to be bullied by someone who you trusted enough to share your story. Again, I hope I am the last victim.

Thank you again.

Tomothy, you said in part "......I noted your comments and I think I was a bit upset with some of the comments. It was almost like I offended them by just asking around if there are people in a similar situatation of mine around. ....."

I suggest your original post sounded judgemental of and offensive to others who don't fix your perfect 'box', rather than sounding like you were ".....just asking around if there are people in a similar situation of mine....."

The judgemental flavor of your original post is what has very likely promoted some or most of the critical and sarcastic coments (including my own).

True professional people are careful how they word their written (and spoken) messages, but perhaps this comes with age.