> "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does

> not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

>

> "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often

> needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

>

> "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every

> restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

>

> "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring

> our swimming costumes and towels."

>

> A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a

> visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast

> ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

>

> A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in

> by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the

> back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

>

> "The beach was too sandy."

>

> "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure

> shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

>

> A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and

> strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

>

> "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as

> my husband spent all day looking at other women."

>

> "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader,

> only to find out they were fake."

>

> "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.">

>

> "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the

> Americans three hours to get home."

>

> "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends'

> three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

>

> "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee

> hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

>

> "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The

> food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

>

> "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

>

> "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests

> before we travel."

>

> "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

>

> "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a

> double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find

> myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room

> that we booked."

There must be many more

No wonder the sun set on the British Empire.

Was this exclusive survey for our fellow TV members from UK ?