Pattaya Man...the Missing Link?

[roamer]

Any difference between Pattaya and Samui man??

In this province another interesting type now making a regular appearance: Tesco shopping man, oh and they must be semi tame as they are usually accompanied by a handler.

Often sighted at an ATM or in domestic appliances area.

I think there is a difference, Pattaya man has been around so long he might almost be described as indigenous, Samui man has appeared more recently.

[greenwood01]

i see these men everywhere here. i call them sex tourists.

SEx tourism isnt that bad, the problem is most people that are sex tourists have no hygiene(visual polution) which imo is worse than dealing drugs and fire arms(which is natural selection).

[neverdie]

You just insulted 90% of this board, good job.

Yah, but we all got a good laugh, didn't we.

There are mirrors everywhere.

Don't read too much into it gang. It was meant to be funny. We DO have to laugh at ourselves once in a while. There is no way anybody could offend me. If they are too intentionally offensive then that is THEIR problem, not mine. If the comments are by my personal friends on the forum then who cares.

Agreed. He did stir up a few people, didnt he, I wonder why that is?

[IanForbes]

You just insulted 90% of this board, good job.

Yah, but we all got a good laugh, didn't we.

There are mirrors everywhere.

Don't read too much into it gang. It was meant to be funny. We DO have to laugh at ourselves once in a while. There is no way anybody could offend me. If they are too intentionally offensive then that is THEIR problem, not mine. If the comments are by my personal friends on the forum then who cares.

Agreed. He did stir up a few people, didnt he, I wonder why that is?

People don't like looking in mirrors. Mirrors seldom lie and the truth hurts.

It's just that hypocrites don't see themself when they look in the mirror. It's only others who see them for what they are.

[ilovefashionTV]

Samui man has appeared more recently.

Ive never heard of this species, what are its traits?

Bangkok expat man is certainly thriving these days.

He's about 43, thinks his secretary GF who is 17 years younger then him that he met at Spicy or similar knocking joint is a cut above as she's never been a working girl and that she's with him for his still youthful looks and the fact hes a bit of a jack the lad, as after reinventing himself this is exactly what he is.

Edited June 4, 2009 by ilovefashionTV

[rayong09]

Samui man has appeared more recently.

Ive never heard of this species, what are its traits?

Bangkok expat man is certainly thriving these days.

He's about 43, thinks his secretary GF who is 17 years younger then him that he met at Spicy or similar knocking joint is a cut above as she's never been a working girl and that she's with him for his still youthful looks and the fact hes a bit of a jack the lad, as after reinventing himself this is exactly what he is.

.....this pasty looking creature who looks extremely withdrawn whilst wearing tired looking office attire often uses his WP as a false sense of self worth, justification for being here and superiority over us, in his eyes, lesser species.

[polecat]

I think I spotted Pattaya Man. It seemed to be in the early stages of some kind of mating ritual. Please bear in mind this photo was taken with no flash, so as not to alarm the creature.

And I think I managed to capture an image of Bangkok Man, too. This was taken soon after feeding.

(timinchina, I bestow upon you the "Order of the Arf!" Congratulations. Bit disappointed in the lack of spitting fury from Patklang, though. He's usually very protective about Pattaya, especially if he senses the attack came from a Bangkokian. I'm not even sure which minority group his post attacks. Puzzling. Can someone check on him and make sure he's ok?)

[tuky]

What a load of cr@p.

[wamberal]

On all my trips to LOS I had avoided Pattaya up until now,heeding all warnings of how terrible it was there but this time I decided that I had to see for myself...and this is what I found...

We found some very nice restaurants along the promenade at Jomtien beach,good food and reasonably priced.Along Walking Street we discovered even better seafood,the Lobster House became a firm favourite of ours,excellent Thermidor and a fine selection of red wines from around the World to accompany.

Lobster Thermidor. Puke.

With red wine? Barbaric.

Give me Pattaya Man any day. At least he has no pretensions.

[ilovefashionTV]

Samui man has appeared more recently.

Ive never heard of this species, what are its traits?

Bangkok expat man is certainly thriving these days.

He's about 43, thinks his secretary GF who is 17 years younger then him that he met at Spicy or similar knocking joint is a cut above as she's never been a working girl and that she's with him for his still youthful looks and the fact hes a bit of a jack the lad, as after reinventing himself this is exactly what he is.

.....this pasty looking creature who looks extremely withdrawn whilst wearing tired looking office attire often uses his WP as a false sense of self worth, justification for being here and superiority over us, in his eyes, lesser species.

Seems you've stumbled across this graceless creature aswell, was it in his native surroundings of "The Londoner" or the "The Dubliner" or similar sterile pub, they do often leave the pack and go out alone to the beer bars surrounding Nana Plaza to mate with the indigenous folk, but this process is always hidden from his colleagues and friends as it would make him look like a mere Earthling from Farangland.

[likewise]

Seems that some need a sense of humour, funny stuff OP and polecat

[Geekfreaklover]

If one is willing to traval away from the Bangkok metropolis and the beach resorts, further north and eastwards one may have the opportunity to observe Isaan Man in his unnatural environment. Issan man has several similarites with Pattaya man but is often of a smaller size due to malnutrition in the vast barren dustbowl which makes up his distribution pattern within the Kingdom. Occasionally Isaan man may migrate to the southern beaches to feed and drink during the hot season, making classification difficult for the novice anthopologist. There are however distinctions. Isaan Man has a habit of constructing dwellings in virtually uninhabitable areas and seems to be more in tune with cultural conditions. Isaan man can often be heard using two or more Thai words at one time and has on occasion been observed eating rice.

Picture, taken from Thai Visa shows an Isaan Man in some sort of 'money giving' ceramony

[likewise]

funny as hel_l mate

[timinchina]

Samui man has appeared more recently.

Ive never heard of this species, what are its traits?

Bangkok expat man is certainly thriving these days.

He's about 43, thinks his secretary GF who is 17 years younger then him that he met at Spicy or similar knocking joint is a cut above as she's never been a working girl and that she's with him for his still youthful looks and the fact hes a bit of a jack the lad, as after reinventing himself this is exactly what he is.

.....this pasty looking creature who looks extremely withdrawn whilst wearing tired looking office attire often uses his WP as a false sense of self worth, justification for being here and superiority over us, in his eyes, lesser species.

Seems you've stumbled across this graceless creature aswell, was it in his native surroundings of "The Londoner" or the "The Dubliner" or similar sterile pub, they do often leave the pack and go out alone to the beer bars surrounding Nana Plaza to mate with the indigenous folk, but this process is always hidden from his colleagues and friends as it would make him look like a mere Earthling from Farangland.

Fellow anthropologists have also observed that Pattaya Man will defend his territory vigorously,sometimes even leaving the relative safety of "Walking Street" to do so.

This of course happens only rarely,as Pattaya Man prefers to remain in his element,clutching a bottle of Heineken in one hand whilst conducting mating rituals involving winking at the nearest ladyboy and recounting tales of past glories in Ye Olde Dog and Duck back in Dagenham.

Pattaya Man will count every beer and sweat stain on his vest as a tale in itself and sometimes when the village elders meet to compare such markings,a coherent and even believable story is witnessed.

Of course,this will happen only very occasionally and as such has been named "Halley's Comet Night",due to the similar time spans existing between such rare occurences(every 75-76 years.)

[ilovefashionTV]

I'm nether just yet being as i'm too young, slim and hansum, but given the opportunnity i'd rather spend time with PattayaMan then BKKMan as despite his awkward appearance and his need to marry and cheat on his prossy wife, he in many instances is just a down to earth working class bloke who feels no need to be pretentious.

[eek]

Lest not forget Issan mans obligatory accessory:

+

I'm nether just yet being as i'm too young, slim and hansum, but given the opportunnity i'd rather spend time with PattayaMan then BKKMan as despite his awkward appearance and his need to marry and cheat on his prossy wife, he in many instances is just a down to earth working class bloke who feels no need to be pretentious.

[greenwood01]

props to all the funny guys in this thread..

Finaly a funny degrading thread that works

[loong]

If one is willing to traval away from the Bangkok metropolis and the beach resorts, further north and eastwards one may have the opportunity to observe Isaan Man in his unnatural environment. Issan man has several similarites with Pattaya man but is often of a smaller size due to malnutrition in the vast barren dustbowl which makes up his distribution pattern within the Kingdom. Occasionally Isaan man may migrate to the southern beaches to feed and drink during the hot season, making classification difficult for the novice anthopologist. There are however distinctions. Isaan Man has a habit of constructing dwellings in virtually uninhabitable areas and seems to be more in tune with cultural conditions. Isaan man can often be heard using two or more Thai words at one time and has on occasion been observed eating rice.

Picture, taken from Thai Visa shows an Isaan Man in some sort of 'money giving' ceramony

Funniest post of the year

[loong]

Actually the OP is probably mistaken, from the description he has actually observed Ex-Pat Pattaya man. Pattaya man is very rarely sighted at this time of year.

Ex-Pat Pattaya man is one of the last adult stages of the species.

Life for Ex-Pat Pattaya man begins on far flung shores.

After completing his first childhood he enters his first adult stage when he is known as Family Man.

Family Man builds a nest and breeds with Family woman. He forages to feed the offspring from this union and gradually builds a stronger and bigger nest. When the nest is sufficiently large, he is set upon and forced out of the nest by Family Woman and the predator commonly known as Family Lawyer and has to move to a smaller nest to live alone.

Family Man finds it difficult to survive the cold winter months in these far off shores as nearly all the flesh has been picked from his bones by Family Woman and Family Lawyer.

Using his last remaining strength and resources he manages to migrate to warmer climates, especially Pattaya.

Here, he sheds his Family Man skin and enters the next stage of the cycle – Second Childhood.

During Second Childhood he regains his handsumness and achieves new sexy-man status. He nourishes himself at the various oasis called beer bars Eventually, he stumbles across the tribe known as Agogo and is enchanted by their mating dances.

When the weather in Pattaya becomes too hot, he returns to his homeland and forages to build up sustainance for the next migration.

This migration occurs for a few years, until he acclimatizes and is able to stay in Pattaya for longer periods. This is when he evolves from second childhood into Pattaya Man.

Pattaya Man continues to nourish himself at the Bar Beers and builds up sufficient fat layers to become irresistible to the local wildlife. He now has ample resources and resistance that he no longer needs to return to his homeland for additional sustainance.

At this point he enters the last stage of his life. By a strange quirk, not all of the Pattaya Man species will evolve the same. Many will become Ex-Pat Pattaya Man, Others will regress to Family Man again and some will become Isaan Man.

Unfortunately Family Man and Isaan Man often suffer with the disease “My girl is different” and get infected by a parasite known as Isaan Wife. This parasite sucks his blood until he is nearly dry and forced to return and forage in his homeland

[simonphuket]

Actually the OP is probably mistaken, from the description he has actually observed Ex-Pat Pattaya man. Pattaya man is very rarely sighted at this time of year.

Ex-Pat Pattaya man is one of the last adult stages of the species.

Life for Ex-Pat Pattaya man begins on far flung shores.

After completing his first childhood he enters his first adult stage when he is known as Family Man.

Family Man builds a nest and breeds with Family woman. He forages to feed the offspring from this union and gradually builds a stronger and bigger nest. When the nest is sufficiently large, he is set upon and forced out of the nest by Family Woman and the predator commonly known as Family Lawyer and has to move to a smaller nest to live alone.

Family Man finds it difficult to survive the cold winter months in these far off shores as nearly all the flesh has been picked from his bones by Family Woman and Family Lawyer.

Using his last remaining strength and resources he manages to migrate to warmer climates, especially Pattaya.

Here, he sheds his Family Man skin and enters the next stage of the cycle – Second Childhood.

During Second Childhood he regains his handsumness and achieves new sexy-man status. He nourishes himself at the various oasis called beer bars Eventually, he stumbles across the tribe known as Agogo and is enchanted by their mating dances.

When the weather in Pattaya becomes too hot, he returns to his homeland and forages to build up sustainance for the next migration.

This migration occurs for a few years, until he acclimatizes and is able to stay in Pattaya for longer periods. This is when he evolves from second childhood into Pattaya Man.

Pattaya Man continues to nourish himself at the Bar Beers and builds up sufficient fat layers to become irresistible to the local wildlife. He now has ample resources and resistance that he no longer needs to return to his homeland for additional sustainance.

At this point he enters the last stage of his life. By a strange quirk, not all of the Pattaya Man species will evolve the same. Many will become Ex-Pat Pattaya Man, Others will regress to Family Man again and some will become Isaan Man.

Unfortunately Family Man and Isaan Man often suffer with the disease "My girl is different" and get infected by a parasite known as Isaan Wife. This parasite sucks his blood until he is nearly dry and forced to return and forage in his homeland

absolutely hilarious !! Excellent reading, unfortunately English ain't my mothertongue, so can't chip in, but please continue posting, expand on the subspecies? Funny stuff.

[saintofsilence]

Actually the OP is probably mistaken, from the description he has actually observed Ex-Pat Pattaya man. Pattaya man is very rarely sighted at this time of year.

Ex-Pat Pattaya man is one of the last adult stages of the species.

Life for Ex-Pat Pattaya man begins on far flung shores.

After completing his first childhood he enters his first adult stage when he is known as Family Man.

Family Man builds a nest and breeds with Family woman. He forages to feed the offspring from this union and gradually builds a stronger and bigger nest. When the nest is sufficiently large, he is set upon and forced out of the nest by Family Woman and the predator commonly known as Family Lawyer and has to move to a smaller nest to live alone.

Family Man finds it difficult to survive the cold winter months in these far off shores as nearly all the flesh has been picked from his bones by Family Woman and Family Lawyer.

Using his last remaining strength and resources he manages to migrate to warmer climates, especially Pattaya.

Here, he sheds his Family Man skin and enters the next stage of the cycle – Second Childhood.

During Second Childhood he regains his handsumness and achieves new sexy-man status. He nourishes himself at the various oasis called beer bars Eventually, he stumbles across the tribe known as Agogo and is enchanted by their mating dances.

When the weather in Pattaya becomes too hot, he returns to his homeland and forages to build up sustainance for the next migration.

This migration occurs for a few years, until he acclimatizes and is able to stay in Pattaya for longer periods. This is when he evolves from second childhood into Pattaya Man.

Pattaya Man continues to nourish himself at the Bar Beers and builds up sufficient fat layers to become irresistible to the local wildlife. He now has ample resources and resistance that he no longer needs to return to his homeland for additional sustainance.

At this point he enters the last stage of his life. By a strange quirk, not all of the Pattaya Man species will evolve the same. Many will become Ex-Pat Pattaya Man, Others will regress to Family Man again and some will become Isaan Man.

Unfortunately Family Man and Isaan Man often suffer with the disease “My girl is different” and get infected by a parasite known as Isaan Wife. This parasite sucks his blood until he is nearly dry and forced to return and forage in his homeland

very funny

[Geekfreaklover]

"At this point he enters the last stage of his life. By a strange quirk, not all of the Pattaya Man species will evolve the same. Many will become Ex-Pat Pattaya Man, Others will regress to Family Man again and some will become Isaan Man."

Indeed, but we must consider one other transfiguration of this species. A sub-species which is in recline (per capita) yet deserves a mention in the context of this field study. There has occasioned a certain type that has explored the Family Man incarnation thus evolved to Pattaya Man and fluxed into Ex-Pattaya Man yet is reluctant to revert to Family Man or move on to the perilious contigency of Issan Man status. Having reached a state of stasis this dying breed has often exhausted all mating and financial resources and has taken refuge, alone in high rise cave like dwellings, ordinarily in the Jomtian district of Pattaya town. It is unknown why this sub-species believes he possess the attribute of flight.

Edited June 5, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[Tokay]

As long as they at least have 80% of their teeth, I'm OK with Pattaya Man. It's the toothless, loud, funny accent, drunken lot that makes me want to walk on the other side of the street.

[IanForbes]

Actually the OP is probably mistaken, from the description he has actually observed Ex-Pat Pattaya man. Pattaya man is very rarely sighted at this time of year.

Ex-Pat Pattaya man is one of the last adult stages of the species.

Life for Ex-Pat Pattaya man begins on far flung shores.

After completing his first childhood he enters his first adult stage when he is known as Family Man.

Family Man builds a nest and breeds with Family woman. He forages to feed the offspring from this union and gradually builds a stronger and bigger nest. When the nest is sufficiently large, he is set upon and forced out of the nest by Family Woman and the predator commonly known as Family Lawyer and has to move to a smaller nest to live alone.

Family Man finds it difficult to survive the cold winter months in these far off shores as nearly all the flesh has been picked from his bones by Family Woman and Family Lawyer.

Using his last remaining strength and resources he manages to migrate to warmer climates, especially Pattaya.

Here, he sheds his Family Man skin and enters the next stage of the cycle – Second Childhood.

During Second Childhood he regains his handsumness and achieves new sexy-man status. He nourishes himself at the various oasis called beer bars Eventually, he stumbles across the tribe known as Agogo and is enchanted by their mating dances.

When the weather in Pattaya becomes too hot, he returns to his homeland and forages to build up sustainance for the next migration.

This migration occurs for a few years, until he acclimatizes and is able to stay in Pattaya for longer periods. This is when he evolves from second childhood into Pattaya Man.

Pattaya Man continues to nourish himself at the Bar Beers and builds up sufficient fat layers to become irresistible to the local wildlife. He now has ample resources and resistance that he no longer needs to return to his homeland for additional sustainance.

At this point he enters the last stage of his life. By a strange quirk, not all of the Pattaya Man species will evolve the same. Many will become Ex-Pat Pattaya Man, Others will regress to Family Man again and some will become Isaan Man.

Unfortunately Family Man and Isaan Man often suffer with the disease "My girl is different" and get infected by a parasite known as Isaan Wife. This parasite sucks his blood until he is nearly dry and forced to return and forage in his homeland

very funny

Times two. Saintofsilence pretty much nailed it.

Now, where is that mirror again.

[loong]

..................this dying breed has often exhausted all mating and financial resources and has taken refuge, alone in high rise cave like dwellings, ordinarily in the Jomtian district of Pattaya town. It is unknown why this sub-species believes he possess the attribute of flight.

Brilliant

[sassienie]

CHIANG MAI MAN

(homogeriatricous)

I took this rare footage 20 years ago of Chiang Mai man.

Natural habitat: Ex pats club, Tuskers Bar and The Pub.

They arrive here towards the end of their lifespan, than go through this mating ritual after which they die within a couple of hours.

Edited June 5, 2009 by sassienie

[Jimjim]

Some of you need to lighten up, it's just a joke.

[IanForbes]

Some of you need to lighten up, it's just a joke.

Most of us DID take it as a joke. That is why we are having so much fun with it. We can all see a bit of ourselves in the portrayal. Those that can't are hypocritical twits who enjoy judging others by their own prudish standards.

[lazygourmet]

Can we see the photo please?

I bet it's one of us.

[Gary A]

On all my trips to LOS I had avoided Pattaya up until now,heeding all warnings of how terrible it was there but this time I decided that I had to see for myself...and this is what I found...

I booked into a very nice hotel called Jomtien Palm Beach,it had huge rooms and was full of holidaying Russian couples.My friend and I booked separate but adjoining rooms,the swimming pool on the front terrace was absolutely enormous.

We found some very nice restaurants along the promenade at Jomtien beach,good food and reasonably priced.Along Walking Street we discovered even better seafood,the Lobster House became a firm favourite of ours,excellent Thermidor and a fine selection of red wines from around the World to accompany.

But something wasn't quite right,there was something in our midst that didn't add up but we couldn't quite put our finger on it.Then we realised we were not alone,walking among us,hardly sparing us a second glance was...

PATTAYA MAN!!!

It was a once in a lifetime chance to study this rare breed up close and in all his glory,an opportunity we couldn't pass up...

His head was shaven and bereft of all traces of hair,he was above 50 years of age.His clothes were of the fake sportswear variety,think Nike and Adidas.His shorts were elasticated at the waistband and on his feet were flip-flops or thongs as some like to call them,of the cheap,market stall variety.

A shy and retiring creature,he was seldom seen alone but more usually in the company of a not too pretty,not too young,jaded-looking bargirl!

Obviously a direct descendent of Neanderthal Man and Homo Erectus[sic] ,it was indeed a rare treat to see this genus,once thought extinct,for myself and my colleague,worth all those hours of travelling.The Royal Anthropological Society would scarcely believe it,luckily we had bought photographic evedence with us to prove our claim to be a genuine one...

By any chance, were you the pair of gentlemen in the suits and ties? I had thought my apparel was more in line with the rest of the Pattaya residents.