Girlfriend's Ex Is A Policeman

[oldsparrow]

Thanks for the majority of forum members for there advise. I will think about things and probably finish the relationship. The warning signs are there Many thanks

Consider though that most of these posts here are complete rubbish, and deciding upon decisions affecting your life based on advice given by anonymous posters on an internet forum is not exactly advisable. As one poster has stated, it is indeed very difficult to disappear in Thailand. If somebody wants to find somebody, he will. It is not that easy for a police officer to transfer. If, for example, you move away from Chiangmai, it will be take a long while before this officer can be transferred again. The next important question regarding the ex of you girlfriend is which rank is he, and what influence does he have. A normal patrol officer is nothing one should be overly worried about, at least not more than any other jealous stalking ex-husband. If he is a Colonel or General that is seriously pissed off with you, then you should think about relocating to another country quickly, unless you have close friends in the forces with equal or superior rank and influence. And then, of course, you have said nothing whatsoever about your personal position. Do you speak Thai? Do you have Thai friends? Are you employed by a company of influence? Have you been here long? etc. Maybe, before making a decision, it might be a good idea to find out what the ex wants by calling him and asking him directly.

A lot of good advise.

As a Thai guy I am of opinion that talking to the ex directly is not a good idea. You can NOT use reason with unreasonable person like the one in this case and especially on this matter. Hearing from you his ego will flare up and he will feel MORE NEED to do something to this guy who STEAL his ex whom he think still his personal person.

I presume he is not a high ranking policeman. The high ranking one doesn't have to move to CM to harass the ex-wife and boyfriend.

May be he just threat BS. Police transfer to specific location is not so easy/fast. Every staion has fixed position, if the new want to come there must be vacancy or switch of officer. The fast transfer is political one or ADC/driver who follow the boss.

Edited June 11, 2009 by oldsparrow

[justanothercybertosser]

Hearing from you his ego will flare up and he will feel MORE NEED to do something to this guy who STEAL his ex whom he think still his personal person.

True.

But at least the poster then will know if there is a problem coming, or if the cop has other reasons.

[oldsparrow]

Hearing from you his ego will flare up and he will feel MORE NEED to do something to this guy who STEAL his ex whom he think still his personal person.

True. But at least the poster then will know if there is a problem coming, or if the cop has other reasons.

Finding if there is other reason is good idea. And may be the cop's point/intention will also change through time.

[justanothercybertosser]

And may be the cop's point/intention will also change through time.

Thais are humans as well...

It is only natural that a man might not be happy when his wife is with somebody else. There are so many open questions here that it is difficult to give good advise.

How did the relationship between the poster and his girlfriend begin?

Did she leave the cop to be with the poster?

Is the relationship based on the supposed riches of the poster, or is there love involved?

Was the relationship between the ex-husband and the poster's wife abusive, or was the cop a good husband?

[venturalaw]

Thanks for the majority of forum members for there advise. I will think about things and probably finish the relationship. The warning signs are there Many thanks

Consider though that most of these posts here are complete rubbish, and deciding upon decisions affecting your life based on advice given by anonymous posters on an internet forum is not exactly advisable. As one poster has stated, it is indeed very difficult to disappear in Thailand. If somebody wants to find somebody, he will. It is not that easy for a police officer to transfer. If, for example, you move away from Chiangmai, it will be take a long while before this officer can be transferred again. The next important question regarding the ex of you girlfriend is which rank is he, and what influence does he have. A normal patrol officer is nothing one should be overly worried about, at least not more than any other jealous stalking ex-husband. If he is a Colonel or General that is seriously pissed off with you, then you should think about relocating to another country quickly, unless you have close friends in the forces with equal or superior rank and influence. And then, of course, you have said nothing whatsoever about your personal position. Do you speak Thai? Do you have Thai friends? Are you employed by a company of influence? Have you been here long? etc. Maybe, before making a decision, it might be a good idea to find out what the ex wants by calling him and asking him directly.

A lot of good advise.

As a Thai guy I am of opinion that talking to the ex directly is not a good idea. You can NOT use reason with unreasonable person like the one in this case and especially on this matter. Hearing from you his ego will flare up and he will feel MORE NEED to do something to this guy who STEAL his ex whom he think still his personal person.

I presume he is not a high ranking policeman. The high ranking one doesn't have to move to CM to harass the ex-wife and boyfriend.

May be he just threat BS. Police transfer to specific location is not so easy/fast. Every staion has fixed position, if the new want to come there must be vacancy or switch of officer. The fast transfer is political one or ADC/driver who follow the boss.

It's good to hear from a Thai concerning this topic. He brings up excellent points. For a westerner, it would be a natural to confront the ex - to try to work something out, but in the Thai culture that could be viewed as insulting. Thank you for insight.

[Moonrakers]

We once had a 'problem copper' on our back.

My wife used to work for a company that would help with the process of applying for visas in the west and so she agreed to help a particular lady. As it turned out this lady had a western b/f in addition to her Thai policeman boyfriend and she was trying to do a runner from the Thai guy. Of course the policeman found out and all blame was shifted onto my wife.

Anyway, what did we do?

My wife called up the station where this copper was based and spoke to the chief there to 'have a word', we never heard from said policeman again.