Help For Girl To Leave Oldest Profession

[cognos]

It's a normal Newbie reaction to start feeling sorry for the girls. The girls play on this and will try to convince a punter that they hate their work. This can really help with the cash flow (into the girl's pocket).

What do you expect?

They're not going to admit to anyone that they love their work, are they?

Of course not, that would sound perverse. They're always going to give the sob story and they become quite skilled at it too. Newbies fall for it every time.

None of these girls are forced to work in the bar and they don't have to. There's millions of girls not working in the bar and surviving quite well back in the provinces. Prostitution is the easy road, not the only road for them to take.

The ironic thing is that a large majority of members on here would probably not even be in Thailand if it weren't for the working girls...and then some want to start "saving" them.

This makes no sense at all. They wouldn't even be here if the "tourists" didn't require their services.

What % of Thai visa members do you reckon are in LOS because of the working girls / bg's? I did a post asking a question similar to that..but it was a dumb post as most don't want to talk about that stuff because of the stigma..personally my wife was not in the industry but I don't slag or judge farang who do marry them or rescue them or save them..thats their business..but of course LOS gets the concomitant negative reputation in the western press partly as a result..thats why a rough % would be interesting to know..to justify or debunk the "claim"

[ballbreaker]

OP you may not like many of the responses but a lot of truths have been spoken. I know because of experience helping a BG get out of the business. It wasn't an easy task and it cost me a few dollars in the process but she truly wanted out. She now has a job that averages 20k baht a month and is very happy being in control again.

I think the biggest reason these girls end up in the profession and the reason they don't leave is the amount of money they can make when compared to a straight job that pays only 6k or so for 12 hours a day six day a week. It becomes even harder as the lady gets older to find a decent paying job.

I guess these comment don't answer your questions so let met point you at a couple places.

I know there are many vocational training schools around Bangkok and perhaps in every major city. The one I am know of is located in Klong Toey. The instructions usually cost 100 baht per course but you may be required to purchase material dependent on type of training.

Another option is . . . . http://www.goodwillbangkok.org/aboutUs.asp

She still would need money for normal living expenses during the training.

[Shotime]

Thailand didn't invent prostitution. No one's ever been to Amsterdam? Oh, they're just there to see Rembrandt.

If you live here, you better have more going for you than a hard-on.

[PatinBKk]

Government colleges offer training in many activities, hairdressing, cooking, photography and massage to name a few. Cost is minimal, a few hundred part for the course. An evening job in a restaurant or such should help support whilst studying.....If any girl is serious she will do it

[PatinBKk]

Hi guys thanks for your input.

Mario: Looking at the Pavena foundation, i'm not sure they are suitable for this issue, also it seems they are difficult to contact. See here:

I wrote a long reply thanking you all, answering questions, etc. It failed to post & I've lost it.

will rewrite it when i have time, bit busy this week.

Word to the wise. I just had that happen to me on another thread, and

Before you hit send, save to clipbord, or better still, draft it in Notepad. Saves the blood pressure.

Back to this topic. I have a friend who has been off work due to illness, and far from support from her family, they have been nagging her to go back to work as they want her income. No sympathy or support from them, just hassle.

A few years back, Koh Samui had no end of 14 year old bar girls working in Lamai......sent there by their own pimp parents....what chance do the poor girls stand with an introduction to life like that...a few have now moved on and bettered themselves by marrying divers etc and getting a respectable job in the diveshop.

[TopDogger]

Easiest way is to marry her, pay 1M sin sod and build a nice 3M baht house in her home village.

But seriously, she needs to come up with the money somehow, as others say the main problem is how she can continue to provide for the family.

So you initial piss takin answer was correct?

[tropo]

Thailand didn't invent prostitution. No one's ever been to Amsterdam? Oh, they're just there to see Rembrandt.

It's a bit different in Thailand, and other SE Asian locations. The "prostitution" here is different because the guys often take them on as steady girlfriends or wives. That's unlikely to happen from an Amsterdam knock shop window.

I can say with confidence that a large number of bargirls in the Philippines end up married and living overseas. I can think of quite a few who I knew personally who now live in US, England, Australia, Japan etc. I meet quite a few girls in Pattaya who have already travelled overseas, and as we all know, a large number are supported by absent sponsors.

Edited June 22, 2009 by tropo

[PeaceBlondie]

Thai prostitution was not invented late in the 20th century for farang

[tropo]

Thai prostitution was not invented late in the 20th century for farang

Perhaps not, but the Farang did quite a bit to change the game.

[MJo]

Easiest way is to marry her, pay 1M sin sod and build a nice 3M baht house in her home village.

But seriously, she needs to come up with the money somehow, as others say the main problem is how she can continue to provide for the family.

So you initial piss takin answer was correct?

It aint rocket science....

[banchang]

Anyone know who/where to contact to start the ball rolling?

This isn't about some girl I just met yesterday, have known her & family some years. She is 31.

Please post only fact, not hearsay

Let nature take it's course. At 31 she's on her way out anyway.

not if she moves to Ban Chang!

[Lancashirelad]

Hi Guys, thanks all for your input. Sorry for the delayed response, I've been somewhat side tracked recently with an issue in England.

When i tried to reply before & lost my long reply, i'd commented on each posters points. There's to many now so i'll just pick some.

Let nature take it's course. At 31 she's on her way out anyway.

I think she's realized that already.

It will be a thankless task, most want to be there ,like homing pigeons

She did, now she doesn't.

So your girl is different.........

Not my girl...... now.

Best to check a few things.

Can she read and write? I know a few bar girls who cannot read or write Thai to any great level (left school at grade 4), so to get them to move on a basic education is a start. What language would like that in, Thai, English or German? She is a bright, intelligent, girl.

As asked above, who is depending on her to keep food on the table? If it is babies and/or mum and dad, you will need to plan a different source of income cos their needs come first.

No baby, no Dad. Sister works. Mum expects money & maybe bro. get a touch once in a while.

Does she have drug and alcohol problems? The life style of bar workers who rely on being bought drinks to add to their income is not good for sobriety.

Quite so. She used to drink too much. Now, reading between the lines & from i gather over the phne, she may have become allergic to alcahol. Another reason she doesn't wish to continue working. Used to dabble with a few yabaa tabs, but then so many do. I really don't think she has an addiction.

Does she have a plan of what to do after the bar? How is she going to achieve this goal?

No bar, long time FL. That is exactly what she is addressing now.

Government help? I think you will have to look long and hard for that in Thailand. Better to find an NGO. Some Christian organizations will help, there is a Christian place on soi25 Pattaya Nakeua Rd that has training facilities for women, they teach hair dressing, dress making, massage and some computer skills, but it costs money. I took a bar girl there and offered her the opportunity, needed more money.

Just remember you are kuhn Jai Dii, and will need to help.

Not any more. She's had some in the past. I'm not in a position to do it the way things are in the UK right now.

Cognos, did you find anythuing further?

As an employer of many over the years I was often asked this question and sometimes even had the girls dancing around the subject as well. Friends who were working girls would sometimes be very open about it but the end result is almost universally the same. Once the bullshit lies and excuses for getting into the game are brushed aside, what you are left with is the lure of easy money, getting away from the family and / or village, being able to "morally" dump their relatively unwanted kids and the freedom. Add in an underlying laziness, a requirement for instant gratification rather than saving and a total inability to function as a normal adult and you have a very desperate proposition. Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

You can't send them back to the village and expect them to sleep when dark and wake with the cockrel 365 days a year. Yet you cannot keep them in the cities as they are moths to the flame. For many, there is no solution. Throwing money at them will not work, it didn't when they were hookers did it ?

I would tell them to remain as part time hookers and get a regular job, turning tricks until they could earn an income of sorts, perhaps after college. But they have to know they are looking at 10k a month tops and less than that usually.

To be honest, unless you have some serious motive to help, just leave them be and let them drift into whatever they do. For 99%+ there is no salvation.

Excellent post Torrenova. You're spot on except actually she is quite good at going home for often long stretches & fitting in quickly with the timings of daily life there. I don't intend to get deeply involved, just hopefully pass on some contacts & give a gentle nudge. Its upto her.

sbk thanks for the link.

The real problem is they have no where to go, and have no idea what to do when they want out. quite so shotime.

It's a normal Newbie reaction to start feeling sorry for the girls. The girls play on this and will try to convince a punter that they hate their work. This can really help with the cash flow (into the girl's pocket).

Me, newbie? Sorry Tropo, guess you weren't to know, i've know her since 2005, been to her home twice & I've spent quite some time in LOS since 2002.

Before you hit send, save to clipbord, or better still, draft it in Notepad. Saves the blood pressure. Thanks Graham. Yes, i know that one & I'm doing it right now, i just got caught out. (then i just found out it say, you have exceeded the maximum allowable number of quotes)." So now you know why i've had to do it like this.

Ball breaker, thanks for your encouraging post.

Thanks all, some interesting stuff to look into there.

Lancashirelad

[dee123]

Lets remember prostitution is the oldest game in the world.Some women choose this lifestyle. Others are coerced or forced and this is where the real problem lie's.Educating poor families that pushing their daughters into something they wouldn't choose to do is wrong.The Thai Goverment should do far more about this.They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures.There also has to be a vast improvement in their education system and a safety net of goverment help when there is no alternative income.

Edited June 27, 2009 by dee123

[Lancashirelad]

Lets remember prostitution is the oldest game in the world.Some women choose this lifestyle. Others are coerced or forced and this is where the real problem lie's.Educating poor families that pushing their daughters into something they wouldn't choose to do is wrong.The Thai Goverment should do far more about this.They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures.There also has to be a vast improvement in their education system and a safety net of goverment help when there is no alternative income.

Well since we're apparently not allowed any more to mess with quotes to highlight the relevant bit we wish to specifically refer to, i guess we'll just have to repeat it:

"They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures."

I thought Abhisit had already done something along these lines?

Edited June 28, 2009 by Lancashirelad

[soundman]

Lets remember prostitution is the oldest game in the world.Some women choose this lifestyle. Others are coerced or forced and this is where the real problem lie's.Educating poor families that pushing their daughters into something they wouldn't choose to do is wrong.The Thai Goverment should do far more about this.They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures.There also has to be a vast improvement in their education system and a safety net of goverment help when there is no alternative income.

Well since we're apparently not allowed any more to mess with quotes to highlight the relevant bit we wish to specifically refer to, i guess we'll just have to repeat it:

"They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures."

I thought Abhisit had already done something along these lines?

You can shorten the original quote to the part you are actually replying to.

eg:

They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures.

Really helps for (quick) readability on the forum.

[tropo]

Me, newbie? Sorry Tropo, guess you weren't to know, i've know her since 2005, been to her home twice & I've spent quite some time in LOS since 2002.

Sorry, that comment was general and I didn't mean to say you're a newbie.

Many of the bargirls hit newbies with sob stories about how much they hate their work and that they have no other alternative. It really does help with the cashflow.

I've been guilty of forking out sympathy money myself when I was fresh. A LOT of money actually.

Edited June 29, 2009 by tropo

[Lancashirelad]

Soundman. thanks for the info. From what i saw, i interpreted it as not being allowed to change an original quote in any way. Highlighting the relevant section was a useful tool & is allowable on many other (Thai related & otherwise) forums. However, i can also the problems that can be caused by "bit quoting" out of context.

How's the fuel retailing business these days?

Tropo: i know what you mean. Hence the important questions "How many times you come Thailand"? (Hoping for a "first time" answer) & "How long you stay"? i.e. How many days have i got to empyt your bank account?

Edited July 5, 2009 by Lancashirelad

[NanLaew]

Hence the important questions "How many times you come Thailand"? (Hoping for a "first time" answer) & "How long you stay"? i.e. How many days have i got to empty your bank account?

There's a cynic born every minute, eh?

[mikediver]

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it"

George Bernard Shaw

[NanLaew]

"Cynicism is the intellectual cripples' substitute for intelligence." ~ Russell Lynes

[dee123]

Lets remember prostitution is the oldest game in the world.Some women choose this lifestyle. Others are coerced or forced and this is where the real problem lie's.Educating poor families that pushing their daughters into something they wouldn't choose to do is wrong.The Thai Goverment should do far more about this.They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures.There also has to be a vast improvement in their education system and a safety net of goverment help when there is no alternative income.

Well since we're apparently not allowed any more to mess with quotes to highlight the relevant bit we wish to specifically refer to, i guess we'll just have to repeat it:

"They should also give elderley families a liveable pension so there is no need for desperate measures."

I thought Abhisit had already done something along these lines?

I think there is a meagre payment but I doubt it was introduced by Abhisit.The fact remains that my wife for instance is the main financial support for her elderly parents.This points to the fact that pensioners have to ask their children for finance.So I say to Mr Abhisit stand up and be a man.HELP THE AGED NOT THE MILLITARY.

Edited July 8, 2009 by dee123

[foxxx]

i'm of the opinion that 90% want to be there - for the money / marriage / enjoy going out partying every night and getting paid etc - whatever the reasons. maybe not at first but after a couple of years they don't want to do anything else. it's easy money and 2x 5x more then they'll make anywhere else - even if they had an education they'd still only pick up 8-15k working an office job. 15k if they are super lucky - realistically 10k. so what's the point? i know if it was me i'd be doing it, base wage + tips, commissions, ST's and LT's etc. not that difficult to hit 25k a month and more without much effort. perfect Thai job. I've known girls who turn over 80k+ a month.

7% don't want to be there and do what they have to do, but they need the money, they cant get a job elsewhere and they have a kid/family to support so they do it for the cash.

and i think there's a small percentage do it as a means to an end (3%). I know a couple of girls who have a business they run and work the bars to pay rent, stock, staff... more recently with the slump i know girls who maybe once upon a time worked in the bars, but haven't for 2-3 years, but are now going back just to keep the business alive - just to try and survive through the low period.

so there is hope, there are good ones out there - but in relation to the OP - unless they are motivated and really want to do it, they wont.

the 3% minority i mentioned really do only do it to the minimum, if they are 5k short on rent, they'll work till they make 5k then no more. the girls can make good money and they can live very cheaply. if they can bring in 30k a month they can live on 7k a month so there's 20k+ a month they can bank and save to start a business.

it's all personal motivation. i little to no sympathy for the girls in the trade, they all have options and 90% choose to rape your wallet.

maybe i don't care so much because I've seen what they are capable of - not to me personally but my neighbor. he works 1-2 month in outside thailand and gets, 1-2 months off at home here. pulled in 500k+ a month - gave her 100k per month plus extra for rent etc etc. took care of her kids, family the works. but she cheated every baht out of him. told him their house rent was 15k when it was 12k, told him her kids school costs 50k a month for the two when it cost 10-15k, so on top of her personal pocket money of 100k a month she still raped more from him and worse yet, when he went away for work every 1-2 months for 1-2 months at a time, she's be back out working the bars and making more money. nice guy, never did anything bad to her, took care of everything but she left him for a new man, divorced him and is forcing him to keep paying her 100k a month to support her kids and herself etc (1 kid his, the other is not).

fun times. just another story to add the the pile