j0hnga1t Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 My gf told me that her ex-boyfriend has moved from Isaan to Bangkok. He's a leech and a drunk. She said that her ex may look for her and try to kill her. I don't want to get into the details, but suffice it to say, their relationship ended in 2004 (before she met me). She only sees him when she visits her parents since he helps on their farm. This last trip he asked her why she doesn't have sex with him (since 2006) whenever she visits (which is only 2-3 times a year since she works to help the family). She told him she doesn't love him and doesn't want to marry him. She didn't tell him about me. Her parents said he cried all day and said he hates her. He is now coming down to Bangkok to find work. She is afraid that he will try to find her and hurt/kill her. He doesn't know where she lives, but he does know where she works....ps. in April I did apply for a fiancee visa so there is no reason for her to lie to me about this incident unless she's plotting to fake her own death so she can walk away with the 700,000 baht I just wired her for a house we are building in Pak Chong (of course if I think that, I shouldn't be in this relationship)...... How common is domestic violence among Thai only couples compared to the US..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumnien Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I've never heard of any violence in this peaceful buddhist paradise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givenall Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 My gf told me that her ex-boyfriend has moved from Isaan to Bangkok. He's a leech and a drunk. She said that her ex may look for her and try to kill her. I don't want to get into the details, but suffice it to say, their relationship ended in 2004 (before she met me). She only sees him when she visits her parents since he helps on their farm. This last trip he asked her why she doesn't have sex with him (since 2006) whenever she visits (which is only 2-3 times a year since she works to help the family). She told him she doesn't love him and doesn't want to marry him. She didn't tell him about me. Her parents said he cried all day and said he hates her. He is now coming down to Bangkok to find work. She is afraid that he will try to find her and hurt/kill her. He doesn't know where she lives, but he does know where she works....ps. in April I did apply for a fiancee visa so there is no reason for her to lie to me about this incident unless she's plotting to fake her own death so she can walk away with the 700,000 baht I just wired her for a house we are building in Pak Chong (of course if I think that, I shouldn't be in this relationship)...... How common is domestic violence among Thai only couples compared to the US..... Now i have heard it all. There are many ways to scam the frangs. Why this happened right after the money was wired? Just to let you know that the Thais stick together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 My gf told me that her ex-boyfriend has moved from Isaan to Bangkok. He's a leech and a drunk. She said that her ex may look for her and try to kill her. I don't want to get into the details, but suffice it to say, their relationship ended in 2004 (before she met me). She only sees him when she visits her parents since he helps on their farm. This last trip he asked her why she doesn't have sex with him (since 2006) whenever she visits (which is only 2-3 times a year since she works to help the family). She told him she doesn't love him and doesn't want to marry him. She didn't tell him about me. Her parents said he cried all day and said he hates her. He is now coming down to Bangkok to find work. She is afraid that he will try to find her and hurt/kill her. He doesn't know where she lives, but he does know where she works....ps. in April I did apply for a fiancee visa so there is no reason for her to lie to me about this incident unless she's plotting to fake her own death so she can walk away with the 700,000 baht I just wired her for a house we are building in Pak Chong (of course if I think that, I shouldn't be in this relationship)...... How common is domestic violence among Thai only couples compared to the US..... 700,000.00 THB = 12,351.64 GBP Thailand Baht United Kingdom Pounds 1 THB = 0.0176452 GBP 1 GBP = 56.6726 THB How is it that i am the only hard working sucker that does not have this sort of money to wire to a girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 How common is domestic violence among Thai only couples compared to the US..... Why would statistics even matter? This case only relates to your girl friend and her supposedly "ex" Thai boyfriend. It only takes ONE bad experience to ruin a good situation. I don't care where in the world you live, there are jealous ex boyfriends and husbands everywhere. Some are potentially dangerous, but most are not. It's all a crap shoot and you take your chances. Any advice you could possibly receive about relationships, on an internet forum, is suspect at best. I'm happy you have enough money to send 700,000 baht to a woman you've only known a short while. My advice to everyone is to never invest ANY money in Thailand that you can't afford to walk away from. Just consider it a form of charity that you are willing to lose. If you gain something from it then fine, but don't make any long range plans of ever seeing any return on your investment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLaughingMan Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I've never heard of any violence in this peaceful buddhist paradise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieB Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 My gf told me that her ex-boyfriend has moved from Isaan to Bangkok. He's a leech and a drunk. She said that her ex may look for her and try to kill her. I don't want to get into the details, but suffice it to say, their relationship ended in 2004 (before she met me). She only sees him when she visits her parents since he helps on their farm. This last trip he asked her why she doesn't have sex with him (since 2006) whenever she visits (which is only 2-3 times a year since she works to help the family). She told him she doesn't love him and doesn't want to marry him. She didn't tell him about me. Her parents said he cried all day and said he hates her. He is now coming down to Bangkok to find work. She is afraid that he will try to find her and hurt/kill her. He doesn't know where she lives, but he does know where she works....ps. in April I did apply for a fiancee visa so there is no reason for her to lie to me about this incident unless she's plotting to fake her own death so she can walk away with the 700,000 baht I just wired her for a house we are building in Pak Chong (of course if I think that, I shouldn't be in this relationship)...... How common is domestic violence among Thai only couples compared to the US..... Since when is an ex-boyfriend hunting someone down after several years counted as domestic violence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toasted Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Let me get this right - he hates her, has threatened to kill her, but yet her parents still employ him? Try reading between the lines! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintofsilence Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 You should wake up and smell the roses mate sending money and leaving her to do all the financials without you having anything in your name are you sure she is divorced. Do your homework before throwing any more money away she could still be married to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j0hnga1t Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 I am dismayed at the responses (except for the pm I got which answered my question). I've know her since 2005 (we were friends). She worked at a legit spa in Saipan, a US Territory. I have been romantically involved with her since July 2007 (just about two years). This is a serious relationship. I will admit it's an odd situation; however, it is what it is and there is no need to justify it or explain it...this was basically the hand I was dealt. It looks like i've wasted my time here since most people are afraid of getting scammed or are cynical . Are we all so jaded that we can't take serious postings seriously or think that thai women are always trying to scam farangs? I was joking about her faking her death. Based on the length of the relationship, I would hope that I have a good feel for who she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 (edited) Why would you be dismayed at the responses? Most replies were from people speaking from experience who have seen the same scenerio played out over and over again. I'm happy that you have a good relationship. I just hope it continues to be good. But, I'll stand behind what I said previously that I wouldn't invest any money in Thailand that I couldn't easily walk away from. If you are willing to donate a home to a family in need then I'm happy for you and for them. I currently send about 7000 baht a month to a Thai family I try to help, and I've done so for 5 years. But, I don't ask for anything in return or expect anything in the future. I just call it charity. Others can afford much more in time or money and do so. None of us have any idea about your situation and nobody can even surmise what your lady's ex might do. Most stories are greatly exaggerated and maybe your lady is feeling threatened when there is no cause to be so. However, I DO wonder about her parents still hiring the guy who from your gal's own words is a bit unstable. You can't really react until he actually DOES something. Anything of a personal nature posted on an open forum is open for scrutiny and there will ALWAYS be the negative types who like to pick holes in every comment. Edited June 20, 2009 by IanForbes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimjim Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 It happens. I don't know how much but certainly happens too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G54 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I am dismayed at the responses (except for the pm I got which answered my question). I've know her since 2005 (we were friends). She worked at a legit spa in Saipan, a US Territory. I have been romantically involved with her since July 2007 (just about two years). This is a serious relationship. I will admit it's an odd situation; however, it is what it is and there is no need to justify it or explain it...this was basically the hand I was dealt.It looks like i've wasted my time here since most people are afraid of getting scammed or are cynical . Are we all so jaded that we can't take serious postings seriously or think that thai women are always trying to scam farangs? I was joking about her faking her death. Based on the length of the relationship, I would hope that I have a good feel for who she is. Two years? Not a long time. I have a friend from the UK who was with his g/f for a little over two years before it went tits up over money. She was a very patient woman as she waited for a big pay day. Luckily he had the sense to smell there was something wrong. The big time after that when he refused to hand over money for a house and land that he learned was way overvalued. The reason so many of us look at Thai women as scammers is because a lot of them are. It is a case of being careful and checking on many things. You have wired over 700,000 Baht and you are not married to the woman. Now she has this ex b/f on the scene threatening her? Be sceptical and look at it from a different perspective and maybe you will see the same as many of us do, that this is a big red warning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zorro1 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 OP is in love and sees what he wants to see. A lot of us have been there and totally blind to a situation regardless of all the warnings. You posted here because deep down you feel something isn't right, follow your gut instinct man if you feel that something isn't right then it probably isn't. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Based on the length of the relationship, I would hope that I have a good feel for who she is. If you have been a member of this forum for 18 months, you really shouldn't be surprised at the response. You've been romantically involved less than 2 years. We don't know how long you have actually spent with her out of those 2 years. If you've only visited her on your holidays, then it is likely that you do not know her at all. Try detaching yourself and pretend that someone else is telling this story. You might then understand why people are suspicious This relationship ended 5 years ago? he's a leech and a drunk and still working for her parents? I really would have thought that he would have moved on by now. You're a very generous man to send her 700,000 baht. That's a very unselfish gesture. I certainly couldn't afford to give away that sort of money. Nobody called Troll yet? Amazing ThaiVisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Well I actually know at least 2 women near me who have been hit by their husbands. 1 regularly and she's my sister in law. The other one is a friend of my wife's. Her husband hit her once a few years back, and he woke up 10 minutes later knowing who was the boss in that house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geriatrickid Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Domestic violence is termed an epidemic in Thailand. It happens to both men and women and yes many end up dead. My advice to everyone is to never invest ANY money in Thailand that you can't afford to walk away from. Just consider it a form of charity that you are willing to lose. If you gain something from it then fine, but don't make any long range plans of ever seeing any return on your investment. They should print this up on wallet sized cards and distribute to every male arriving in Thailand on a tourist visa. One of the best words of wisdom to be given in TV in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpofc Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Quite impossible to speculate on your relationship since I am not making my bunk at your place. It is also quite conceivable the the 'mang da' of a boyfriend, especially if he knows she is doing ok, has a job and is earning decent money that he will come after her. Thai men, genrally speaking, tend to want to 'own' their women, until such time as they trade up for a younger and better model. However, on the subject of Domestic Violence? Yes, it is rife. It is, after all, a very male dominated society. As told to me by a few Thai wives (of thai husbands) over the years, 'you really don't know what goes on behind closed doors in Thailand'. Thai women are also not adverse to having a go either and will use violence too. As for that other piece of advice - Thoroughly concur - Never invest into the Kingdom of Thailand that which you cannot afford to lose. and my other 'old jungle saying' - Make sure you know the rules BEFORE you start playing the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 My gf told me that her ex-boyfriend has moved from Isaan to Bangkok. He's a leech and a drunk. She said that her ex may look for her and try to kill her. I don't want to get into the details, but suffice it to say, their relationship ended in 2004 (before she met me). She only sees him when she visits her parents since he helps on their farm. This last trip he asked her why she doesn't have sex with him (since 2006) whenever she visits (which is only 2-3 times a year since she works to help the family). She told him she doesn't love him and doesn't want to marry him. She didn't tell him about me. Her parents said he cried all day and said he hates her. He is now coming down to Bangkok to find work. She is afraid that he will try to find her and hurt/kill her. He doesn't know where she lives, but he does know where she works....ps. in April I did apply for a fiancee visa so there is no reason for her to lie to me about this incident unless she's plotting to fake her own death so she can walk away with the 700,000 baht I just wired her for a house we are building in Pak Chong (of course if I think that, I shouldn't be in this relationship)...... How common is domestic violence among Thai only couples compared to the US..... 700,000.00 THB = 12,351.64 GBP Thailand Baht United Kingdom Pounds 1 THB = 0.0176452 GBP 1 GBP = 56.6726 THB How is it that i am the only hard working sucker that does not have this sort of money to wire to a girl? WHAT!! You don't even have 700,000 for your darling?? You'll never cut the mustard here. Starter wives go for 1 million bht and up (mostly up) and thats just for sin sod. Never mind the obligatory house, car, monthly salary for wife and allotments for parents and other needy family members. Of course, I am being just a bit scarcastic. Hope the OP has got more where that came from, so he can stay in the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Absingjul Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Just look at the Scottish bloke in patters from a few weeks ago. Married 2 years with a daughter and after he gave her 3 million to build a house upcountry she took the daughter and left. Happens all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurnell Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 One of my ex-colleagues is still being hounded by an ex-boyfreind, 6 years after leaving him. He regualrly threatens to kill her. I don't think the Thai male takes rejection very well. Must be something related to losing face. I know of another similar story so it surely isn't an isolated case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 None so blind as those that can not see. No fool like an old fool. You are being played. She is using scare tatics to scare you away now she has the cash. 'My old boyfriend me want to kill me maybe kill you too. I don't know what to do?' - 'Maybe if we give him more money he go away.' Been there, seen it, got the scars to prove it. If you are happy being played then the best of luck to you. If you have any sense, find one that doesn't need a house. Guess what, not every thai woman demands a house, land and an allowance. If I were you, and had a bit of cash. Hire a PI. You won't like the report, but it will be more convincing then a group of people on an internet forum. Gook luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 One of my ex-colleagues is still being hounded by an ex-boyfreind, 6 years after leaving him. He regualrly threatens to kill her. I don't think the Thai male takes rejection very well. Must be something related to losing face. I know of another similar story so it surely isn't an isolated case. Yes this sort of thing happens, and not only in Thailand. This case, if true sounds different though. The relationship finished in 2004, but she continued to have sex with him until 2006. Now in 2009 he asks why she doesn't have sex with him anymore. In 2009 she tells him that she does not love him and that she doesn't want to marry him. That would suggest to me that for some reason he believed that she did love him and would marry him, otherwise why is he so devastated now? If a woman stopped sleeping with a man 3 years ago, most men would get the message that the relationship was finished. Of course there is the very rare instance where a man will carry a torch for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahtin Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Domestic violence. Do the dogs bark? Do the cocks crow? If the answer to the last two is no, then what you are hearing is number one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zorro1 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 (edited) Domestic violence is termed an epidemic in Thailand. It happens to both men and women and yes many end up dead.My advice to everyone is to never invest ANY money in Thailand that you can't afford to walk away from. Just consider it a form of charity that you are willing to lose. If you gain something from it then fine, but don't make any long range plans of ever seeing any return on your investment. They should print this up on wallet sized cards and distribute to every male arriving in Thailand on a tourist visa. One of the best words of wisdom to be given in TV in a long time. Absolutely not true. This is generalization in the extreme! 1. SET (Thai stock market) has outperformed the DOW. Anyone who invested in the SET would be up 48% in the last 3 months 2. zero exposure to sub prime therefore banking sector, property and economy as a whole strong compared to the west especially USA 3. ......????? whats your point? don't invest in women? errrm what does that have to do with investment Edited June 21, 2009 by zorro1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon7867763 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I am dismayed at the responses (except for the pm I got which answered my question). I've know her since 2005 (we were friends). She worked at a legit spa in Saipan, a US Territory. I have been romantically involved with her since July 2007 (just about two years). This is a serious relationship. I will admit it's an odd situation; however, it is what it is and there is no need to justify it or explain it...this was basically the hand I was dealt.It looks like i've wasted my time here since most people are afraid of getting scammed or are cynical . Are we all so jaded that we can't take serious postings seriously or think that thai women are always trying to scam farangs? I was joking about her faking her death. Based on the length of the relationship, I would hope that I have a good feel for who she is. i had a kind of similar situation.ex boyfreind wanted to kill me.noything happened.when it comes to this type of thing thais tend to talk / threaten alot but usually nothing.the problem is that thais cant be seen to be sad so they may express themselves like this although having said that one shouldnt risk it.bangkok is a big place so take precautions about who knows where you live and you should be safe good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Absolutely not true. This is generalization in the extreme! 1. SET (Thai stock market) has outperformed the DOW. Anyone who invested in the SET would be up 48% in the last 3 months 2. zero exposure to sub prime therefore banking sector, property and economy as a whole strong compared to the west especially USA 3. ......????? whats your point? don't invest in women? errrm what does that have to do with investment Investing in the stock market is NOT investing in Thailand. It is an entirely different situation. You can take your funds out at any time. If you buy property in Thailand, or a timeshare, or any one of the many Thai businesses you can not sell them and get your money back if a Thai national has any part ownership in the scheme. For a farang to buy a home, he or she has to have a Thai national co-sign the purchase. But, I would also give the same advice for investing in penny stocks... anywhere. Don't gamble more than you can be prepared to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isanb Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I am dismayed at the responses (except for the pm I got which answered my question). I've know her since 2005 (we were friends). She worked at a legit spa in Saipan, a US Territory. I have been romantically involved with her since July 2007 (just about two years). This is a serious relationship. I will admit it's an odd situation; however, it is what it is and there is no need to justify it or explain it...this was basically the hand I was dealt.It looks like i've wasted my time here since most people are afraid of getting scammed or are cynical . Are we all so jaded that we can't take serious postings seriously or think that thai women are always trying to scam farangs? I was joking about her faking her death. Based on the length of the relationship, I would hope that I have a good feel for who she is. Don't be, I'm sorry but when we read ur first post all the people who live in thailand knows that there is 95% (and i'm optimistic) of chance that it is a scam. Hope for you that ur in the 5% remaining. Believe me,we are not afraid of getting scammed or cynical, we just living everyday in thailand. I really wish you all the best but has you said : "it's an odd situation" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpofc Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 and why should the Thais have all the fun anyway? http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25667548-1242,00.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnGotti Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 (edited) Sounds like you nabbed a real keeper. Edited June 21, 2009 by JohnGotti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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