Kids In Church.

[A. BOOZER]

KIDS IN CHURCH

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin

asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know

that?"

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the

Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to

his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I

figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen."

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A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service,

“And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash

against us."

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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know

what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.

Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him

the money now, will he let us go?"

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After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed

all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three

times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a

Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

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Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite

Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people

on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.

"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.

Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and

Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot."

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The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say

prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

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A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on

a trap door and announce, "I descend into ######!" A stagehand below would

then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from

view.

The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill,

another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor

announced, "I descend into ######!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the

actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging

on the rope could make him descend.

One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled. "Hallelujah! ###### is

full!"

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Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist

Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy

told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About

halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be

quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have

to start his sermon all over again!'

It worked.

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This is the best one.

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a

bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the

book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately

stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did

God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better

at it, isn't he?"