Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked

beans.

She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very

embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy

and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought

to herself, " He is such a sweet and gentleman, he would never go for this

carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she

lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be

late because she had to walk home.

On her way she passed a small diner and

the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any

ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and

before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted.

And upon arriving home she felt reasonably

sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and

exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He

then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.

She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.

He then went to answer the phone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable,

so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity,

shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was

not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in

front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her

vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which

reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room,

she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom,

she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,

smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,

apologizing for taking so

long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At

this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy

Birthday"!!!

altumangel lets a funny

Along the same line, but for the more visual/aural oriented: