new2 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 been married for 3 years now, relationship has turned abusive and a little violent, and i now want to leave as soon as possible -a few weeks max. unfortunately my father invested 800,000, plus 100,000 furniture etc into a property here for us with thai husbands father also contributing 800,000. we made a contract 3 yrs ago not with a lawyer but just between my husband and myself to say we both own it, its not a very professional contract. the land paper is in his fathers name and husband will inherit in the future. husband has no money to pay me back half, although his familly may have. husband desperately wants a divorce before i leave, i keep saying no divorce untill i get my money back. is this a good thing to do. what other recorse do i have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiPauly Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Write it off and move on. Any further violence at your Husbands hands is NOT what you want and it's sure to get worse if he fails to get what "The Family" want out of you All the odds are stacked against you. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new2 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 thanks it sweet to hear your reply. i'd kept things bottled up for a long time and now ive started talking with people about the situation its really helping me feel better. your kindness mean a lot to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintofsilence Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 What you should do is think of your own health and well being first , these situations generally just get worst I would move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellohello Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 If you bought the house while you were married the Thai Law says its half yours.... Do you have reciepts of things you bought? google this site and look at some lawyers sites and find the Thai law- its in English and you can translate it into Thai- using google translate. show it to him, when things are calm. Cant hurt. But, PLZ don't jepordize your safety. be safe, and my thoughts are with you. If you need to talk PM me... Im married to a Thai man too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steven100 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 been married for 3 years now, relationship has turned abusive and a little violent, and i now want to leave as soon as possible -a few weeks max.unfortunately my father invested 800,000, plus 100,000 furniture etc into a property here for us with thai husbands father also contributing 800,000. we made a contract 3 yrs ago not with a lawyer but just between my husband and myself to say we both own it, its not a very professional contract. the land paper is in his fathers name and husband will inherit in the future. husband has no money to pay me back half, although his familly may have. husband desperately wants a divorce before i leave, i keep saying no divorce untill i get my money back. is this a good thing to do. what other recorse do i have. Get a lawyer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katabeachbum Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 been married for 3 years now, relationship has turned abusive and a little violent, and i now want to leave as soon as possible -a few weeks max.unfortunately my father invested 800,000, plus 100,000 furniture etc into a property here for us with thai husbands father also contributing 800,000. we made a contract 3 yrs ago not with a lawyer but just between my husband and myself to say we both own it, its not a very professional contract. the land paper is in his fathers name and husband will inherit in the future. husband has no money to pay me back half, although his familly may have. husband desperately wants a divorce before i leave, i keep saying no divorce untill i get my money back. is this a good thing to do. what other recorse do i have. If you are able to it, get out while you can and make sure they can not find you. Then start looking for possibilities to get some money back through lawyer/divorce/court. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Not offering a divorce makes it more difficult for him, as he now will have to go to court and can only get divorced on the grounds stated in the law. It will cost him time and money, so that is an excellent bargaining tool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bojo Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Sounds like you both want out and he needs the divorce which means you have some leverage and some bargaining power. If you are able to discuss the matter without further violence, that's fine but if not, you should move away and out of harms way asap. You metioned that his side put in an equal 800K. Did you actually see that money buy something. A typical con man will often pretend to put up half the money for something when actually putting in nothing. The conman will have to know the vendor or the person that something is being purchased from . The conman subsequently looks like he's doing his bit and as they say back in London ... would be 'up for none' In the event that he didn't put his bit in, it follows that the aquisition is worth only half the amount(in this case 800K, subjuect to inflation). If this is the case, then you could be arguing over an asset worth only 400K, your end. Probably not worth fighting for against the price of anyone's health. If you have the afore-mentioned leverage, but the situation is volatile, you could try bargaining from the safety of afar (eg his father sells the asset, then gives you half and he gets divorce). Wishing you the best of luck Regards Bojo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonvolker Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Regarding Thai-lawyers, please be very carefully, most of them are thugs! Ask people you can trust for a good one! For example, a lawyer from Udon Thani wrote me letter to Germany, that my wife (Thai) has debt of 50.000 Euro, if I don't pay this, my mother in law will loose her house and must go to prision. He is an "eminent lawyer" in Udon but wrote this letter for the promise of 10.000 Baht, after my money would arrive! The debts was a lie! Don't have to say that I did not pay! Wish you all the best! Sorry if my English is not correct! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouYouYou Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Sorry to hear your troubles New2. Move on now ..and sort out the legal stuff later. Don't stay there a minute longer if its abusive ..you don't deserve that ...no woman does anywhere in the world. I've PM'ed you by the way. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopburi99 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 I've been advised before about being extremely careful when going to the land office to set ownership. My friend told me never take the mother, because the title may end up in the mother's not your wife's name. We can't read Thai. Be careful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxman71 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 I've been advised before about being extremely careful when going to the land office to set ownership. My friend told me never take the mother, because the title may end up in the mother's not your wife's name. We can't read Thai. Be careful! Don't turn and walk away...RUN!!! Looks to me you were set up; you may not have a legally binding contract with this guy, and I seriously doubt your husband's family is going to pony up anything to buy you out. If you are intent on trying to get something out of it, at the very least move somewhere else in Thailand (so long as moving out won't jeopardize your claim to 1/2) and do NOT let your husband know where you are. Get a good lawyer and keep a low profile. But if you can afford it, cut and run. This guy is trouble. Best wishes to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiksilva Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 As others have said move out and get safe first, worry about the money later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glegolo Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 been married for 3 years now, relationship has turned abusive and a little violent, and i now want to leave as soon as possible -a few weeks max.unfortunately my father invested 800,000, plus 100,000 furniture etc into a property here for us with thai husbands father also contributing 800,000. we made a contract 3 yrs ago not with a lawyer but just between my husband and myself to say we both own it, its not a very professional contract. the land paper is in his fathers name and husband will inherit in the future. husband has no money to pay me back half, although his familly may have. husband desperately wants a divorce before i leave, i keep saying no divorce untill i get my money back. is this a good thing to do. what other recorse do i have. -------------------------------------------- NEW2, you MUST listen up....... Everyone has the same opinion, just read them all..... so cut your losses, if you must and run away. When one part in a relationship start to box... this is just the start.. you know it, we know it. GO..... Glegolo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nakachalet Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 sorry, not everyone is of the same opinion here, mate! why on earth are you intelligent persons advising new2 to run and give up all that she is entitled to.... new2, do not give up yours or your side of the family investment at this time yet. whenever you determine enough is enough, seek a 100% safe house to continue the possible proceedings, and i shall assist you to get there with no question asked and no expense needed on your part either. am not a saint, neither am i a crook. like several others already advised--your personal safety first, but not at the expense of surrendering everything, at least not at this junction and not at this time.... yet. if you have trouble physically leaving your area, there are several able farang friends who would be happy to bring you to the safe house in scattered parts in thai soil. but you must be telling the truth and you must be in genuine nearly impossible predicament. most importantly, you must not be the cause nor the guilty person by the law of this land, ok. if you need further assistance, pm me or several others who have already offered invalueable advices. god be with you and assist you in your upward journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xylophone Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 been married for 3 years now, relationship has turned abusive and a little violent, and i now want to leave as soon as possible -a few weeks max.unfortunately my father invested 800,000, plus 100,000 furniture etc into a property here for us with thai husbands father also contributing 800,000. we made a contract 3 yrs ago not with a lawyer but just between my husband and myself to say we both own it, its not a very professional contract. the land paper is in his fathers name and husband will inherit in the future. husband has no money to pay me back half, although his familly may have. husband desperately wants a divorce before i leave, i keep saying no divorce untill i get my money back. is this a good thing to do. what other recorse do i have. Sorry to hear about your predicament, and I truly hope it is resolved successfully. You did mention that the "land paper is in his father's name", and that would have to be the case because only Thais can own land, so that is normal. Only you know what this is likely to turn out like, and if you believe it could take a turn for the worst, then maybe the advice to just leave is sound. However if you believe there is some room for manoeuvre/negotiation, albeit from a distance if need be, then seeking help of a good lawyer would certainly be an option. You could view it from the position of, "your husband owns the land, whilst you own the building and contents", so exactly what can I do regarding selling the building and contents. Maybe not a solution, but certainly another way of looking at it is -- hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballbreaker Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 (edited) Be safe first. The divorce is the only card to you have to play but if husband or family have no money your in a bad situation. Even if you win in court who would buy a house sitting on a third persons land. Edited July 13, 2009 by ballbreaker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nakachalet Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 new2 should whatever promised you does not show up at the appropriate time, just leave quickly and quietly with what are already in your hand. remember your travel doc and the white exit card. what you have now seems sufficient for departure. let us know when you safely arrive at ATLANTIC.... lol considering the amount of responses, there are quite several of us who are wishing you the very best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nakachalet Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 new2 another major concern is.... what about the other person, would the person be safe under such detrimental environment, after your sudden departure? is the person able to handle whatever difficulties that would eventually arise? one would certainly not want to be held as hostage for future bargaining power. just a weird feeling, that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new2 Posted July 14, 2009 Author Share Posted July 14, 2009 thanks for all the messages, its good to feel supported. i should be leaving soon if all goes to plan. once away will sort out finances and contact bangkok lawyer. will keep you informed of the outcome. thanks everyone. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 As advised, protect your personal safety but don't let the bastards rob you blind. Once again we have violence meted out and the potential for robbing the trusting westerner and yet in this very thread, we have people suggesting to let them get away with it and just run away. I guess the house is also in papa's name, if so, tough ! If in the husband's name, then some comeback.. If you'd bought a house somewhere after marriage then it would be split 50/50 on divorce. More information needed here. If you want to leave then your hand is weak. Your only bargaining chip is the divorce in the short term and maybe in the long term as you've been robbed. Will papa not give you Bt1m to walk away ? If not, prey lightening burns the place down, often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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