Blonde's

[babuhavas]

A blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time, found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination.

Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nud_e patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

"Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, butwhen she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside.

Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them.

"NO WAY," she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven.

God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 25th step he would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter heaven.

The brunette went first and started laughing on the 150th step, so she could not enter heaven.

The redhead went next and started laughing on the 350th step, so she could not enter heaven either.

Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke."

"I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to the drivers window, he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel.

"Ma`am," he said ."I`m afraid we`re going to have to give you a Breathalyzer test to see whether or not you`ve been drinking."

The test was taken and as the officer eyed the results, he said, "Lady, you`ve had a couple of stiff ones."

"That`s amazing!"the girl cried."You mean it shows that, too!"

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn`t then the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I`ll get off."

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

There is a blonde driving through the country. She has just died her hair brown because she is sick of being made fun of. She is really hungry.

She stops at a farmer�s house and says "Hi! If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?"

Farmer says ok. She quickly counts them and says "91!"

The farmer looks around puzzledly and says "Ok. Take one."

When the Blonde is walking back to her car the farmer asks, "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"

[beerchang]

What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and a blonde?

A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own!

[babuhavas]

What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and a blonde?

A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own!

[warfie]

What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and a blonde?

A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own!

good one!

quite like the "OEING" joke too... maybe just because I have not heard it a thousand times before....

Edited July 28, 2009 by warfie

[njpski]

another for the post count