Divorced Thai Mother Wants To Visit Her Son In Uk

[Thunderbird4ever]

Hello thaivisa members. A friend of mine is in this situation

What she wants is to see her 11 year old son and spend a couple of weeks with him as it has been 4 years since last time. When the son was 7 years old the UK father took their son to UK after living in Thailand. He has not returned to Thailand since.

The father says they don't have the money to travel to Thailand but she don't know if this is true or not. If he don't she would like to go to UK and spend the two weeks or so with him there. Every time when talking on the phone with her son, her son cries and says how much he miss her and that he would like to see her again.

They divorced in Thailand before he left with their son and she allowed the son to leave with the father. Both have the same custody rights over the son as nothing else was agreed or signed at the time of divorce. According to UK laws she wants to know what kind of rights she has to see her son for a couple of weeks every year and especially if the father refuses or trying to make it difficult. The son is a Thai and a UK national. In some other European countries the law also specify if the divorced couple are living far apart from each other the parents must share the travel cost and the living cost for the period of a visit 50/50 for the one having to travel.

If the father is not cooperating for a visit to Thailand or in the UK she will go the legal way to make a reunion happen. But to avoid unnecessary costs she hopes for a reunion without going down this route.

She have no intention to take the son back living in Thailand as she wish for him to have a good European education. She thinks the father will not send or come to Thailand with him in fear of losing him so she is fine about going to UK. She says; there will come a time in 7-10 more years where he can travel back and forth like an adult to visit me in Thailand. I am his mother and we love each other forever. I just want to to keep in touch with him and meet him sometimes.

How to go about this?

PS! If replying to this post please cut out the long text below so the thread will be more well arranged. Thanks

Some background of the story for those who are interested:

The UK husband did not live with their son in Thailand from he was 2 years old and to he was 7 years old as he was always foolin around with other girls and also getting caught for it. For a period of 2 years when the child was 5 to 7 years old he also stopped supporting them 100%. When he cut them off and the monthly 10.000 baht apartment bill along with other bills grew to more than 30.000 baht my friend had to go and find some work. She ended up working in a bar but did not go with any customer as she still considered herself to be married. After only 3 days working in the bar a very nice man living in Thailand came by and showed some interest in her. He then bar fined her but right after when inside the taxi she jumped out of it and said she could not go with him. She then ran home to her apartment and son

She then feared to go back and work in the same bar as she assumed this man had complained to the manager about this incident. But she had no choice than to go back and work. Then on her second day at work after this incident the same man showed up again. She was scared to see him but he was very gentle and nice and said he would like to know her more and her story and that she shouldn't worry about happened two days earlier. After some serious long hours of talk he said he would meet her the next day at 19:00 in the bar in which he also did.

He then had an envelope with him and told her to go and clear her debts. She thought it was just a couple of thousands, thanked him but did not check out the envelope when in the bar. When she got home she still had not checkd but when he called and asked her to check it she was in shock to find out there was money covering all her debts there.

She first refused to take the money and wanted to give it back as it was too much and also it was from a man that was not her husband.

He finally convinced her to keep the money. This was more or less the start of their relationship which took quite some time to establish. After a couple of more months she and her son moved out of their rented apartment and moved in with this man.

This man was unable to have sex so their relation was not based on this. He was just a very noble and gentle soul man. Her son was now 5 years old.

After living together with this new man for over a year and her son was now 6 years old, her UK husband suddenly showed up in Bangkok. After living in Pattaya he was surprised to learn that she was not renting the apartment in Bangkok anymore. He had run out of money and had returned for her to help him out. He was desperate so she finally got him a room and also paid for it.

She then told her gentle new boyfriend that her UK husband had just surfaced Bangkok and that she had paid up a room for him. Further she said she understood if he didn't want to live with her anymore as of all of this. She said she had to take care of him and this situation as he was the father to her son but made it clear that she would never go back to live with him again. The gentle new boyfriend understood the situation and they agreed on giving her UK husband a support of 500 baht a day for a period of time so he could manage.

A little time later when the UK husband had his son for a day he asked his son where he was now living with his mom. The smart little kid was able to show the way from Sukhumwith and all the way back to his home on a motorbike taxi which was quite some distance. Finally at his sons new home he rang the door bell and the nice man came out. The UK husband made a lot of commotion outside this place and where he tried to make a point of the new boyfriend actually was paying for his apartment through his girlfriend.

The nice new boyfriend then replied that he knew it all and that he was very well aware that he actually paid the apartment for him and that he was an expense for him of a total of 15000 baht a month. After this the UK husband became quiet and shortly after left.

This situation went on for many more months but when my friend learned that her UK husband also had a new thai girlfriend living there on this money support she got very angry and stopped the whole support go on any further. It then came to a total halt for her UK husband who then understood that the Thai life was over and also the life as a parasite he had been living in Thailand for nearly a year was over. Shortly after this my friend and her gentle boyfriend again agreed to support the UK husband for some more months to he was able to receive money for a ticket and fly back home.

In the meantime the UK husband pushed on towards my friend that he would not leave Thailand if he could not take his son back with him to UK. He also explained he would be chanceless if not and would need his son for government support in the forms of money benefits, apartment etc etc. In fear of him further staying in Thailand, continuing making problems and also to help him back to life in UK she eventually let their son go with him.

It was hard for her to see her son leave and also hard for the new boyfriend who had now been living with this kid for 2 years being a very good father, giving him a good home and providing school for him. 6 months later this new gentle boyfriend died from some health problems. True a will he left her with all his belongings in Thailand, approx. 4 million baht.

For the money she bought a house for her mother living in north of Thailand, paid for university education in Bangkok for her 22 year old other thai son who she brought down to Bangkok for studies. She also bought a car for her son. Then she lent away some money to some friends in the range of 100.000 to 300.000 which she never got back. She also spent a little for herself. The rest of the money story I think you all know which way went..

Edited August 23, 2009 by Thunderbird4ever

[truthfulfox]

nice thai story, should be turned into a movie! but who will trust it!

[Eff1n2ret]

If the custody arrangement was never formalised, she has no easy route to get a visa, unless the ex-husband agrees to allow access when she comes, in which case she could try for a family visit visa.

There are provisions for a visa to enable access to a child resident in the UK as set out here:

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/policyan...ionrules/part7/

but on the info given, she would not meet the criteria. So without a degree of cooperation from her ex, she would have to instruct a solicitor in the UK to apply to the court for rights of access, and go on from there. If she's blown the 4m baht nest-egg from the other guy on largesse to her other family members, she might not be able to afford the necessary processes. I doubt whether the ex is under any obligation to help her either win access or to travel and accommodate herself in the UK, but there may be someone with more experience of this.

[Thunderbird4ever]

If she's blown the 4m baht nest-egg from the other guy on largesse to her other family members, she might not be able to afford the necessary processes. I doubt whether the ex is under any obligation to help her either win access or to travel and accommodate herself in the UK, but there may be someone with more experience of this.

Yes the 4 mill baht is as per day not available but its not all gone. A couple of the millions went up north and into the house she bought to her mother.

I read through the link you posted and to my understanding if the ex-husband is not allowing access for her she must obtain either a

1. UK Residence Order, or

2. a Contact Order granted by a Court in the United Kingdom, or

3. a certificate issued by a district judge confirming the applicant's intention to maintain contact with the child.

Most likely she will be able to get the funds for any of these 3 processes if her ex-husband is being difficult.

Someone would know how much it would cost to obtain one of the 3 options mentioned above?

Also someone with some experiance of sharing the travel costs for a visiting parent and if it is established by the law is this something that should be included in the any of the 3 documents above?

Thanks so far!

PS! Yes the custody arrangement was never formalised. They share the custody.

Edited August 23, 2009 by Thunderbird4ever

[ThaiVisaExpress]

It is a family visit but you must sponsor the trip yourself or get somebody else to sponsor this.

However without him agreeing to access you could have problems.