Does Your Thai Wife/partner/gf Let You Cheat?

[Svenn]

I really don't want this topic to get closed, since I'm genuinely interested in a sociological sense what average farang-Thai relationships are like in Thailand, so please, no lame, one-sentence quips trolls. I personally fall in the third category, but several people I know fall into the first and second categories. Please give your own serious observations, from Thailand or elsewhere in Asia.

Edited September 12, 2009 by Svenn

[skipvice]

Are you nuts,why get married if you are going to cheat?

[Jimjim]

He's asking because he thinks it's a feature of some marriages in Thailand and wants to get feedback from others in Thailand. That's why it doesn't sound nuts at all to me.

[sassienie]

But I’ve noticed no one has yet had the bottle to answer the OPs questions directly. If only the truth be known?

Anyway, I think this is rather too personal and I for one don’t wish to air my dirty laundry in the public domain.

Anyway, must sign off because my bit on the side has to leave before my wife gets home.

Edited September 12, 2009 by sassienie

[Svenn]

Are you nuts,why get married if you are going to cheat?

That's the thing, a lot of guys I know (especially some Thais and mainland Chinese) don't consider sleeping with another woman "cheating" since there spouse allows it or is indifferent. My topic title "cheating" however means sleeping with anyone besides your current partner.

Anyway, I think this is rather too personal and I for one don't wish to air my dirty laundry in the public domain.

FYI, no one has to describe THEIR personal situation, just observations of others.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Svenn

[Hawaiian]

Don't know. Never asked for permission.

[nputman]

First Thai wife encourage it and I did not persue.

Second Thai wife said that if I did she would be buying some ducks soon.

Best advice, If you want to boom boom up a bunch of women DO NOT get married.

[Harcourt]

My Gf wants me to hire a pro, but only if she can watch.

I'll only let her watch if she agrees to join in.

She won't join in, so it's a non-event.

She did say several times in the early days that she wouldn't mind if I did stray because she feels that it would only be about sex, and that I'd always come home to the one I love, her. I sort of understand this.

But as our relationship developed, she's become more jealous and won't allow it....not that I would anyway.....especially not while she watches!

[jubby]

I'm not quite sure really . I'd say definately NO but I suppose I am cheating with one other Woman and she's very aware of it. She gets on well with the other woman but likes to give me a regular beating , usually with a bamboo Broom Handle. Wow, Can't life get complicated.

[mca]

I've never asked my wife because the thought of cheating has never entered my head.

[bellagrego]

Been with the same gal for four years. Lived in pattaya for three, now in Esaan. Early she referred to boom as "just boom", meaning no love attatchment, just business. After a year, that changed. any side trips or whereabouts unknown was questioned. As my father once told me, "say nothing, admit nothing, even in the face of overwhelming proof, stonewall. I have followed thiose precepts to the letter. Any, and all, separations for poontang were discreet in different locals. Never, ever, shit where you eat, in Esaan, Pattaya or USA. That in your face stuff will not work here or anywhere. I do know of a few guys that are open about their adventures and have multiple sex partners with their girl watching, Kudus for them and the training of their gals

r

[Mosha]

OK I'll take the plunge. In my case the well has dried up so to speak. I am allowed 1 night stands, but choose normally not to. I did stray the once. I stay with my wife because I love her. The sex side was great until she went through the menopause.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Mosha

[a2396]

Are you nuts,why get married if you are going to cheat?

Many married people "cheating" here as you call it. Definately part of the landscape, Mia Noi's & GIK's abound. But, you are right about one thing. Why get married? Unless you have to, to take the lady back home, it is a hazardous move.

[sunholidaysun1]

My wife would never agree to that but my Giks dont mind as long as they get a peice of me - dosh !!

[JUDAS]

If my wife gave me the option of having sex with other people, my first thought would be, what's wrong with our relationship?

The whole idea of a mia noi, bit on the side, or casual one night stand as being 'culturally acceptable' is flawed thinking in my opinion. I think the only reason the man could get away with such behavior in the past was because in previous generations the male generally provided financial security to the family. In the current climate / society a female is more than capable of being financially independent.

With a Thai / Farang relationship money becomes a greater factor as the foreigner may well have an income of 10 or 20 times that of his Thai partner. The offer to allow the farang to sleep around is, IMO, purely based on protecting the lifestyle they've become accustomed to. There has to be problems in the relationship in the first place to receive such an offer, or maybe I'm just old fashioned

[robblok]

I am in an open relationship that means i can have girls on the side but she can do the same. This just happend after 5 years of relation because things got a bit boring. I'm not sure if its good or bad ill see how it goes, so far no complaints.

Just to put things in perspective my wife works and has her own job is financially independent and pays half the cost in the house. So it was not me pressuring her into it with finances.

[tom21]

no . as i like to keep my body intact.

[thaimate]

Are you nuts,why get married if you are going to cheat?

no more to say really is there? if your wife doesnt care if you put it about then she is only with you for the money.

[villagefarang]

Though she has full knowledge of my womanizing past, my wife of 10 years never asks or interrogates. I never give her reason to. I think she understands that I drew a line in the sand when I passed from single to married. Though I surely posses the skill to get away with it, I would never risk hurting the feelings of the most important person in my life. Why would I inflict emotion anguish over a bit of strange? It just isn't worth it in my book. I did all that in my younger single years.

[ff978472]

For those farangs who think your Thai wife love you, not your money, think again.

Do you think they married you for love or sex?

[Lopburi99]

My Thai wife abhors cheaters and cheating as do I.

I will always be able to look at myself in the mirror and not see a f##cking deceitful cheater.

[Svenn]

Why would I inflict emotion anguish over a bit of strange? It just isn't worth it in my book. I did all that in my younger single years.

That's an important point here, apparently being younger or not married makes the cheating more acceptable. I should have included age in the poll too. I'm 24, but I imagine most guys here are older than that and it's much easier to say "i have no desire to cheat." I want to be loyal to my gf, but in the face of so many attractive women in Thailand it's overwhelming. It just made me start thinking about this topic.

[villagefarang]

From my experience many of the farangs with this attitude found Thailand late in life and well after their sell-by-date. If you start off young, are not unpleasant to look at, posses a roguish charm and a knack for mimicking the manners of those around you, then money is not a major factor. Money only comes into play when other salable attributes are lacking.

For those farangs who think your Thai wife love you, not your money, think again.

Do you think they married you for love or sex?

[toptuan]

Several years ago, my partner of four years suggested we have an "open" relationship.

That was the beginning of the end....

My partner is now my ex-partner.

[villagefarang]

Why would I inflict emotion anguish over a bit of strange? It just isn't worth it in my book. I did all that in my younger single years.

That's an important point here, apparently being younger or not married makes the cheating more acceptable. I should have included age in the poll too. I'm 24, but I imagine most guys here are older than that and it's much easier to say "i have no desire to cheat." I want to be loyal to my gf, but in the face of so many attractive women in Thailand it's overwhelming. It just made me start thinking about this topic.

I played in Thailand from 21 to 43, when I finally met my wife. If you are 24 I wouldn't worry about it too much. That is way too young, in my book, to settle down. Just try to do as little damage as possible along the way and don't get married until you are absolutely certain.

[carmine]

If my wife gave me the option of having sex with other people, my first thought would be, what's wrong with our relationship?

The whole idea of a mia noi, bit on the side, or casual one night stand as being 'culturally acceptable' is flawed thinking in my opinion. I think the only reason the man could get away with such behavior in the past was because in previous generations the male generally provided financial security to the family. In the current climate / society a female is more than capable of being financially independent.

With a Thai / Farang relationship money becomes a greater factor as the foreigner may well have an income of 10 or 20 times that of his Thai partner. The offer to allow the farang to sleep around is, IMO, purely based on protecting the lifestyle they've become accustomed to. There has to be problems in the relationship in the first place to receive such an offer, or maybe I'm just old fashioned

No you are totally correct!

[bonobo]

Then there are happily married couples who play together with others.  I wouldn't call that "cheating" as both people are there together and approving of their actions.

[ff978472]

From my experience many of the farangs with this attitude found Thailand late in life and well after their sell-by-date. If you start off young, are not unpleasant to look at, posses a roguish charm and a knack for mimicking the manners of those around you, then money is not a major factor. Money only comes into play when other salable attributes are lacking.

For an old farang, you will be like a gold mine for Thai girls, and that's it.

For a young farang, you will be like a new toy for Thai girls. They will show you around like a new toy, the same way that you show your new BMW to your neighbor, and that's it. Believe me.

And if they don't want you to cheat, it means they don't want to loose a new toy which can be transformed into a gold mine in the future.

A good Thai girls will never marry a farang, you know it?

When you walk with a Thai girl on the street or in the mall, people will look at you like a clown walking with a hooker.

Sorry if I am too straight.

[mooncake]

Are you nuts,why get married if you are going to cheat?

Yeah I agree

And

What kind of woman would let you cheat on her?

I would definitely hit him with a plank - flat side that is, or serve him w/ a divorce paper.

No respect….no respect indeed....what a dog!

[jubby]

If my wife gave me the option of having sex with other people, my first thought would be, what's wrong with our relationship?

The whole idea of a mia noi, bit on the side, or casual one night stand as being 'culturally acceptable' is flawed thinking in my opinion. I think the only reason the man could get away with such behavior in the past was because in previous generations the male generally provided financial security to the family. In the current climate / society a female is more than capable of being financially independent.

With a Thai / Farang relationship money becomes a greater factor as the foreigner may well have an income of 10 or 20 times that of his Thai partner. The offer to allow the farang to sleep around is, IMO, purely based on protecting the lifestyle they've become accustomed to. There has to be problems in the relationship in the first place to receive such an offer, or maybe I'm just old fashioned

Your right ofcourse Judas. But its not always about Sex. My wife & I have a great Sex Life. The new woman has her needs too.