Does Your Thai Wife/partner/gf Let You Cheat?

[ff978472]

For an old farang, you will be like a gold mine for Thai girls, and that's it.

For a young farang, you will be like a new toy for Thai girls. They will show you around like a new toy, the same way that you show your new BMW to your neighbor, and that's it. Believe me.

And if they don't want you to cheat, it means they don't want to loose a new toy which can be transformed into a gold mine in the future.

Some truth (sometimes) to that part of your post, but the rest is crap.

Yeh i agree LOP..he does have a point but the point is that his point comes from the point of view of a the typical average thai guy mindset..which..ahem..what can i say..we all know how much these pearls of wisdom are sometimes worth.

His theory (and later thoughts) and the generalization of "all" thai girls falls down in the cases of many long term posters on here that have long term relationships like Lop...

And i suspect thats because the above farangs are MATURE and have MATURE wives...and by that i dont always mean age..

BTW..to the thai guy who upset LOP:

You failed to bring up the issue of the habits of many of your own countrymen who have two or three "youngster" playmates and pay them an ongoing SALARY of around 10,000 a month for the privelege..tell us....that is the going rate for you guys is it not!!??

So...Who's the bigger clown?

You don't believe my theory?

You will see it one day.

I've seen many farangs who blindly love poor Thai girls who only want money. Don't know why

[OxfordWill]

Svenn, maybe we should start a club (or support group?) "overwhelmed in bangkok Anonymous"

[jubby]

I didnt vote as my option isnt there, and in my opinion if a wife lets the husband cheat shes in for the money,not love, no doubt about it,.anyone of any nationality that loves their partner would not want to be treated this way,.common sense isnt it ?

Hi there

This is not always the case.

World wide.

Some women let their husbands behave this bad, just to keep the family together.

This has been quite common in the so called macho cultured areas in the world, up to very recent.

And then there are the women that sadly accept the fact that the husband do this, but stay with him for the reason that she still loves him, and hope he will change.

...Or maybe hates him but carries on because of the children..

I guess Thailand is changing,women don't easily tolerate a cheating husband like probably did in the past.

I agree a financially independant woman is less likely to allow or tolerate a cheating husband. I certainly can't argue with that.

Its not always a macho thing either. I'm not macho in anyway, shape or form, if anything I'm too soft. I do presently have a wife with 3 Kids and a significant other . I have found unfortunately that I love them all in different ways. And there's no cheating or lies on my part. I've been totally honest with all parties involved from the onset. Its clear the wife loves me, but obviously not as much as she did before. The significant other says she loves me too. It does feel that way but this is Thailand , enough said and Delusional I maybe.

All my past relationships have been long term, I've never had a one night stand, atleast one that didn't turn into a longterm relationship. I've never cheated on the wife in 12 years of marriage, never paid for Sex (not directly anyway). maybe I'm unusual here in this regard. I've never been in a loveless relationship based just on Money either.

A need for the wife to protect her assets (me) is also quite important but the reality of the situation is she can take half of our assets from the UK and all of our assets from Thailand whenever she wishes and she knows it. She also has the Idea that somehow if this relationship with the 'significant other' fails then I'll just keep on doing this cheating thing endlessly. I'm stupid but not that stupid

So Here we are, I'm true to myself, true to the other parties directly involved.

The wife has obviously undergone a lot of emotional turmoil and hardship which I'm not proud off but now she seems resigned to it. She actually Likes the significant other half, they get on well but there's always outbursts of jealousy when we meat up. Two of the Kids are fine with it , the oldest has a few issues but the main one is that maybe her dad loves her less now than before.

Anyway, thats where I am at the moment, Certainly wouldn't have happened in the UK, but , well I'm not in the UK.

I've been meeting lots of Thai people recently, certainly many have other relationships. So from my limited experience I would say its a very common situation and comes in all shapes and forms from one extreme to the other.

Most of the women ( family, friends) who I know used to think I was a good or OK Guy now hate me. Its there problem not mine, I don't have 'Face' and am not overly concerned with what other people think.

I've also losts a few friends also, but friendships can be shallow.

Lets see how long it lasts

[imaneggspurt]

I didnt vote as my option isnt there, and in my opinion if a wife lets the husband cheat shes in for the money,not love, no doubt about it,.anyone of any nationality that loves their partner would not want to be treated this way,.common sense isnt it ?

I personally know one couple where the husband had prostate cancer and surgery and can no longer achieve an erection. After a few years of this situation, the husband told his wife she could find that specific sort of satisfaction elsewhere, as long as he was not kept in the dark. Initially , she refused for concern about his feelings, but when she realized he was serious, she took him up on the offer.

From what I have observed of them, they are deeply in love. So while this is not cheating per my own interpretation as the husband has given his blessing, I think this points out that all cases are different, and some people may allow their partner to have experiences outside the bounds of matrimony. Some people can do this while still being in love.

You are of course correct, they are both aware of it and both agreed, so its not cheating or being cheated on,...an extreme case but totally accepable,.

[rethaired]

OK I'll take the plunge. In my case the well has dried up so to speak. I am allowed 1 night stands, but choose normally not to. I did stray the once. I stay with my wife because I love her. The sex side was great until she went through the menopause.

You would think that if you wife was not up to it, she would allow to have fun on the side! To love someone is to want the best for them and since marriage is about sex --mostly-- and she cannot do it, why would she (or anyone) prohibit from being able to get your rocks off? Maybe women would not stray (because they do not need it, but who knows with them), but if one's wife was not able to eat sweets, would that mean that she could prevent another from eating it! Sex --INMHO-- is just another necessary physical need that some men and women have. If a woman does not need it, why would she prevent another person from having it?

That's not love, that's hate!

Edited September 15, 2009 by rethaired

[imaneggspurt]

Well at the risk of a black eye ( im joking, she is totally non violent ) i just asked my wife what she would do if i announced i had or was thinking of a mia noi,.her reply was one of shock, so i assured her it was a hperthetical question,..im not of course, and i have to say her response was as i imagined, she would be hurt and worry that our daughter could end up without a dad, money was not mentioned,..and to be fair i think her response was normal for any woman in love, ( as we are ) ,and if im honest there are times when i could be unfaithful easily as im away a lot, however all i would see is my beautiful 7 year old daughters eyes looking at me and the thought makes me shudder,.my wife would be unaware, but i would know, and i just couldnt live with myself,..

Edited September 15, 2009 by imaneggspurt

[imaneggspurt]

OK I'll take the plunge. In my case the well has dried up so to speak. I am allowed 1 night stands, but choose normally not to. I did stray the once. I stay with my wife because I love her. The sex side was great until she went through the menopause.

You would think that if you wife was not up to it, she would allow to have fun on the side! To love someone is to want the best for them and since marriage is about sex --mostly-- and she cannot do it, why would she (or anyone) prohibit from being able to get your rocks off? Maybe women would not stray (because they do not need it, but who knows with them), but if one's wife was not able to eat sweets, would that mean that she could prevent another from eating it! Sex --INMHO-- is just another necessary physical need that some men and women have. If a woman does not need it, why would she prevent another person from having it?

That's not love, that's hate!

The danger is making love can be just that, and if emotions start to creep in its a slippery slope and dangerous,.

[imaneggspurt]

The guys whose wives let them cheat do so because they are repulsed by them and do not want the responsibility to sleep with them. Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around.

Sorry to burst the farang delusional balloon.

With this i totally agree,...".Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around."

[rethaired]

The guys whose wives let them cheat do so because they are repulsed by them and do not want the responsibility to sleep with them. Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around.

Sorry to burst the farang delusional balloon.

With this i totally agree,...".Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around."

Love? Or fear to lose!

I think we should define "love" because it is so often used to describe that superficial feeling that one has about the other person's beauty. Infatuation is often what people refer to love. Do you honestly think that many men (and women) pair up because they love each other? For women, money and security are what love is. For men, it is more about beauty. Initially it is because they find each other attractive or are attracted by how generous they are (and millionaires are made naturally always generous ). After, depending on how attractive or how wealthy the other person is (and how good their personality and intelligence are), many will try they hardest to attribute qualities for flaws they possess or try to mitigate their flaws. There are many fat and ugly women (and many small and "unwealthy" men) who would deserve to be loved on the basis of their personality and intelligence.

In any case, if one loves someone, they should want the best for them, not keep them from experiencing life and prevent them from having their needs met. That would be selfish, I think.

Edited September 15, 2009 by rethaired

[imaneggspurt]

The guys whose wives let them cheat do so because they are repulsed by them and do not want the responsibility to sleep with them. Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around.

Sorry to burst the farang delusional balloon.

With this i totally agree,...".Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around."

Love? Or fear to lose!

Arent they both the same ?. I fear losing my wife,it took me 48 years to find her, do you have a problem with that ?...Next you will be saying marriage is only for those with serious insecurities,. ,.

[Travel2003]

Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around.

Sorry to burst the farang delusional balloon.

I agree with that.

Not quite sure what you mean by "burst the farang delusional balloon".

[animatic]

The wife assumes I must occasionally, but doesn't want me to,

and REALLY doesn't want to know if I do. I was here in the candy store

well before settling in with her, long enough to be over the initial shock and awe.

Got a good one and that's enough at my age.

[G54]

I happened to glance over at the g/f when she was talking about something at the same time 3 sexy young things in school uniform and short skirts were walking by the window on her side of the car. Naturally enough my eyes flitted over those 6 legs before I could stop myself.

She noticed the eye movement and maybe a 'look' on my face.

There was hel_l to pay and all I did was glance

Have a bit on the side and get away with it? No chance.

[F1fanatic]

I happened to glance over at the g/f when she was talking about something at the same time 3 sexy young things in school uniform and short skirts were walking by the window on her side of the car. Naturally enough my eyes flitted over those 6 legs before I could stop myself.

She noticed the eye movement and maybe a 'look' on my face.

There was hel_l to pay and all I did was glance

Have a bit on the side and get away with it? No chance.

And that's the whole point. Thai wives/g/f's know how they attracted their farang partners and therefore know how easy it is for someone else to do the same. They are not about to let it happen unless they are not getting the money they want out of the relationship and are hopeful of a better 'catch' themselves. 99.9% of farangs who think otherwise are kidding themselves, and deep down they know it.

[imaneggspurt]

I happened to glance over at the g/f when she was talking about something at the same time 3 sexy young things in school uniform and short skirts were walking by the window on her side of the car. Naturally enough my eyes flitted over those 6 legs before I could stop myself.

She noticed the eye movement and maybe a 'look' on my face.

There was hel_l to pay and all I did was glance

Have a bit on the side and get away with it? No chance.

And that's the whole point. Thai wives/g/f's know how they attracted their farang partners and therefore know how easy it is for someone else to do the same. They are not about to let it happen unless they are not getting the money they want out of the relationship and are hopeful of a better 'catch' themselves. 99.9% of farangs who think otherwise are kidding themselves, and deep down they know it.

Oh come on, spit it out, what you really mean is that 99.9 per cent of farang that marry prostitutes are kidding themselves,with that ill agree,BUT to say all thai women are on the take is utter <deleted>,.

[Geekfreaklover]

I happened to glance over at the g/f when she was talking about something at the same time 3 sexy young things in school uniform and short skirts were walking by the window on her side of the car. Naturally enough my eyes flitted over those 6 legs before I could stop myself.

She noticed the eye movement and maybe a 'look' on my face.

There was hel_l to pay and all I did was glance

Have a bit on the side and get away with it? No chance.

And that's the whole point. Thai wives/g/f's know how they attracted their farang partners and therefore know how easy it is for someone else to do the same. They are not about to let it happen unless they are not getting the money they want out of the relationship and are hopeful of a better 'catch' themselves. 99.9% of farangs who think otherwise are kidding themselves, and deep down they know it.

Does that 99.9% also take into account female and gay farangs that are in reationships with Thai nationals, or just your bitter sterotype of a middle aged male farang?

[Lopburi99]

I happened to glance over at the g/f when she was talking about something at the same time 3 sexy young things in school uniform and short skirts were walking by the window on her side of the car. Naturally enough my eyes flitted over those 6 legs before I could stop myself.

She noticed the eye movement and maybe a 'look' on my face.

There was hel_l to pay and all I did was glance

Have a bit on the side and get away with it? No chance.

And that's the whole point. Thai wives/g/f's know how they attracted their farang partners and therefore know how easy it is for someone else to do the same. They are not about to let it happen unless they are not getting the money they want out of the relationship and are hopeful of a better 'catch' themselves. 99.9% of farangs who think otherwise are kidding themselves, and deep down they know it.

Oh come on, spit it out, what you really mean is that 99.9 per cent of farang that marry prostitutes are kidding themselves,with that ill agree,BUT to say all thai women are on the take is utter <deleted>,.

Don't let F1 get to you Eggy, he gets a bit "fanatic" at times. Of course his statement is crap.

[Geekfreaklover]

I happened to glance over at the g/f when she was talking about something at the same time 3 sexy young things in school uniform and short skirts were walking by the window on her side of the car. Naturally enough my eyes flitted over those 6 legs before I could stop myself.

She noticed the eye movement and maybe a 'look' on my face.

There was hel_l to pay and all I did was glance

Have a bit on the side and get away with it? No chance.

And that's the whole point. Thai wives/g/f's know how they attracted their farang partners and therefore know how easy it is for someone else to do the same. They are not about to let it happen unless they are not getting the money they want out of the relationship and are hopeful of a better 'catch' themselves. 99.9% of farangs who think otherwise are kidding themselves, and deep down they know it.

Oh come on, spit it out, what you really mean is that 99.9 per cent of farang that marry prostitutes are kidding themselves,with that ill agree,BUT to say all thai women are on the take is utter <deleted>,.

Don't let F1 get to you Eggy, he gets a bit "fanatic" at times. Of course his statement is crap.

I do believe Fi fanatic is a woman. A farang woman with a big chip on her shoulder.

Edited September 15, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[mahtin]

Another horse doctor.

[F1fanatic]

I happened to glance over at the g/f when she was talking about something at the same time 3 sexy young things in school uniform and short skirts were walking by the window on her side of the car. Naturally enough my eyes flitted over those 6 legs before I could stop myself.

She noticed the eye movement and maybe a 'look' on my face.

There was hel_l to pay and all I did was glance

Have a bit on the side and get away with it? No chance.

And that's the whole point. Thai wives/g/f's know how they attracted their farang partners and therefore know how easy it is for someone else to do the same. They are not about to let it happen unless they are not getting the money they want out of the relationship and are hopeful of a better 'catch' themselves. 99.9% of farangs who think otherwise are kidding themselves, and deep down they know it.

Oh come on, spit it out, what you really mean is that 99.9 per cent of farang that marry prostitutes are kidding themselves,with that ill agree,BUT to say all thai women are on the take is utter <deleted>,.

Don't let F1 get to you Eggy, he gets a bit "fanatic" at times. Of course his statement is crap.

Do try putting an argument forward to dispute the comments made rather than resorting to "his statement is crap". It doesn't actually move the discussion any further.

[Geekfreaklover]

Is pretending you are a man when you are in fact a woman conseidered 'cheating?'

[Valjean]

Established patterns would tell us that x% of the 62% #3 "no" group will in fact cheat - and they are the one group where that term most applies. This was an interesting bit of factoids http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html

It seems in the US that the ones who like to preach morality the hardest, fall the hardest to their weakness. (I feel a bad pun was in there).

On a thread like this all the look down your nose, holier than thou pontificating about the lack of value, validity, love, or what have you that someone else has in a relationship different than their own does, as always, say so much more about the person who's making the statement than the one it's directed at. Inner confidence in who you are and what you have seems to be inversely proportional to the need to degenerate others different than you.

[DonJuanDemarco]

Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around.

Sorry to burst the farang delusional balloon.

I agree with that.

Not quite sure what you mean by "burst the farang delusional balloon".

The delussion that they are allowed to cheat because they are such a great catch or because she just wants his happiness above all else or whatever reason she dreamed up to avoid having to get under him.

[jubby]

Those who actually love their husbands will not be happy about them sleeping around.

Sorry to burst the farang delusional balloon.

I agree with that.

Not quite sure what you mean by "burst the farang delusional balloon".

The delussion that they are allowed to cheat because they are such a great catch or because she just wants his happiness above all else or whatever reason she dreamed up to avoid having to get under him.

Don, speaking as one of the so called cheaters , and putting my Delusional Tendancies aside for a moment. let me tell you in my experience that both woman are more than happy to get under me especially after a few days seperation. I'm sure I'm not unique in this regard.

Maybe you should get out and experience Life for real rather than just Viewing it from your moral standpoint.

[IanForbes]

Whatever agreement that is worked out between a husband and wife should be their business and nobody elses. I can think of many situations where a married couple might remain happily married but still allow their partner to have sex with someone else. One of the spouses might have a physical problem that impairs their sexual activity. I could certainly believe it could happen when an older man marries a much younger woman. Also, I've met many women who do not enjoy sex... for whatever reason. I certainly wouldn't want to be married to one of them and have to remain celibate.

I enjoy sex, but only with partners who also enjoy it. I'm too old to get remarried and I wouldn't want some woman in the prime of life to be stuck with me when I'm an old man who can no longer perform like a man. Right now I have several young lovers who I share time with and it works for all of us. I've also got female aquaintences who I have a platonic relationship with. That also works for us but might not for others.

One thing I did learn from a psychologist after the end of my second marriage was if anybody decides to take a lover outside of marriage then NEVER, NEVER, NEVER tell the spouse. I never played around when married, but my first wife did. The moment she confessed to me about her lover our marriage was over. I might still be married to her if she had kept her mouth shut. But, it all worked out for the best as it was. You couldn't pay me enough to take her back and my life has been much better since she left.

[jubby]

Whatever agreement that is worked out between a husband and wife should be their business and nobody elses. I can think of many situations where a married couple might remain happily married but still allow their partner to have sex with someone else. One of the spouses might have a physical problem that impairs their sexual activity. I could certainly believe it could happen when an older man marries a much younger woman. Also, I've met many women who do not enjoy sex... for whatever reason. I certainly wouldn't want to be married to one of them and have to remain celibate.

I enjoy sex, but only with partners who also enjoy it. I'm too old to get remarried and I wouldn't want some woman in the prime of life to be stuck with me when I'm an old man who can no longer perform like a man. Right now I have several young lovers who I share time with and it works for all of us. I've also got female aquaintences who I have a platonic relationship with. That also works for us but might not for others.

One thing I did learn from a psychologist after the end of my second marriage was if anybody decides to take a lover outside of marriage then NEVER, NEVER, NEVER tell the spouse. I never played around when married, but my first wife did. The moment she confessed to me about her lover our marriage was over. I might still be married to her if she had kept her mouth shut. But, it all worked out for the best as it was. You couldn't pay me enough to take her back and my life has been much better since she left.

A lot of references to Sex here Ian. Its important in most relationships for sure, but I don't think any relationship should be mainly about Sex. I've never visited a psychologist (maybe I Should) So didn't get the advice about not telling the wife. I don't think he/she was a particularly good psychologist either. If a Husband and Wife have a close relationship then the Wife will develop almost extra sensory perception. Maybe its whats called female intuition , I don't know. The wife will know almost instantly that you are having an Affair, So I suspect its more a case of the wife not wanting to know and you not telling them. both parties in Denial . I do talk a lot of Sh&t though, so Any ladies out there please correct me if I'm wrong.

[cyb]

"A good Thai girls will never marry a farang".

That is total crap and you know it. I'm amazed you would say something so stupid and inaccurate.

You will learn it one day, son.

My wife, 48 and a widow when I met her, didn't need any man. She had always led a responsible and honorable life and still does. I doubt any of her many many friends and family considers her not "a good Thai woman", thank you very much. I also doubt any consider me a clown and her a hooker. Never mind, up to you for whatever you think, I'm done on this.

Don't let him get to you Lop, he is a total troll and not worth your time.

I know of at least 6 good girls from very good families that have married farang.

One of the farang was a school chum of mine and has being married around 20 years now.

[Lopburi99]

Right now I have several young lovers who I share time with and it works for all of us.

Personally I have never been comfortable being a lover to more than one woman at a time, even when I was single. Was I tempted to do so at times? Of course. But would I actually do it? No. Call me old-fashioned. I've always been a one-woman man.

Don't get me wrong, you are very lucky to have created what appears to be the ideal existence for you. Keep up the excellent posts. You bring a lot to this forum.

Edited September 16, 2009 by Lopburi99

[bonobo]

 

A lot of references to Sex here Ian. Its important in most relationships for sure, but I don't think any relationship should be mainly about Sex. I've never visited a psychologist (maybe I Should) So didn't get the advice about not telling the wife. I don't think he/she was a particularly good psychologist either. If a Husband and Wife have a close relationship then the Wife will develop almost extra sensory perception. Maybe its whats called female intuition , I don't know. The wife will know almost instantly that you are having an Affair, So I suspect its more a case of the wife not wanting to know and you not telling them. both parties in Denial . I do talk a lot of Sh&t though, so Any ladies out there please correct me if I'm wrong.

Actually, almost all psychologists and marriage counselor advise against telling your partner if you stray sometime.  The corporate line here is that people confess so they feel better, so they don't feel guilty anymore, but the partner feels worse.  If you cheat, you need to suffer any consequences, not your partner.

[IanForbes]

A lot of references to Sex here Ian. Its important in most relationships for sure, but I don't think any relationship should be mainly about Sex. I've never visited a psychologist (maybe I Should) So didn't get the advice about not telling the wife. I don't think he/she was a particularly good psychologist either. If a Husband and Wife have a close relationship then the Wife will develop almost extra sensory perception. Maybe its whats called female intuition , I don't know. The wife will know almost instantly that you are having an Affair, So I suspect its more a case of the wife not wanting to know and you not telling them. both parties in Denial . I do talk a lot of Sh&t though, so Any ladies out there please correct me if I'm wrong.

Of course there is a lot of references to sex. That is what the topic is about... sex outside marriage. I agree with you on the point about sex not being the ONLY factor in a marriage. In most studies it ranked about 4th or 5th on the list. I'm not sure who made up the list though, and it would vary with the age of the partners. I'm sure that sex between young partners is a lot more important than sex between couples who have lived together for 10 years or more.

The psychologist I was referring to is the very renowned Dr Joy Brown, and in all the time I listened to her on the radio I could never disagree with anything she said.

And yes, wives will often know when a man is having an affair, but I'm not sure if men are as aware when their wives are having affairs. Men have their own interests and most men are not as in tune with their suspicions until confronted by them. However, thinking your partner is having an affair is not the same as knowing it. As long as it hasn't been made public there's still a chance for doubt. Many people are very jealous and assume all sorts of things that are not true. My second wife was like that and it drove me crazy. Fortunately, I was nuts in love with her and never even looked at other women. Our problem was her grown son who was on drugs and my wife was in denial. It eventually split us apart.