English Girl To Marry Thai Boyfriend

[taxexile]

Yeah, according to the most recent Thai Visa poll, most guys around here are "hooking" up with gals who are rocket scientists from 3rd generation wealth and Ivy.

[sriracha john]

When will this troll stop posting??!   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm much more concerned about the troll that started this thread:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=29073&st=0

and can't seem to understand the answers given to him repeatedly.

[ronny1307]

When will this troll stop posting??!    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm much more concerned about the troll that started this thread:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=29073&st=0

and can't seem to understand the answers given to him repeatedly.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Funny guy. You better look out for real trolls... I understand the answers quite well, but it seems my english is better than your thai.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

When will this troll stop posting??!    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

When this TROLL is good and ready !!!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Is that an admission ?

[sriracha john]

When will this troll stop posting??!    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm much more concerned about the troll that started this thread:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=29073&st=0

and can't seem to understand the answers given to him repeatedly.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Funny guy. You better look out for real trolls... I understand the answers quite well, but it seems my english is better than your thai.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I really do think you might have difficulty with English as your comment about my knowledge of Thai is relevant due to what? Given that misstatement by you and the 44 posts that were needed to convince you that your child will not be Thai citizen makes me wonder just how well you do understand English... but don't worry, it's ok. English is a difficult language... and I'd be the first to admit that my knowledge of Romanian is nil. No harm intended.

[JoJo]

smad...............i reiterate

You could always tell her you will bring the money to her, not send it over so that she will need to give you an address and a telephone no. Your daughter has issues and if she wants help she has to compromise, not have everything her way!

By doing this you would also have a clear first hand view of what is actually going on.

If at all possible when she calls next time propose to meet her with the cash in Thailand where she lives.

Go with her accross the border pay the overstay fine, make her legal (with a visa from Penang)

Give her some start-up money and go back home.

Be firm and if she really needs your help she will accede to your request. My opinion is that she is 28, she should act more maturely.

Good Luck!

Edited March 28, 2005 by JoJo

[smad]

When will this troll stop posting??!    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

When this TROLL is good and ready !!!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Is that an admission ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, it's called sarcasm!

The man's an idiot!!! - Ronny1307 that is

Edited March 28, 2005 by smad

[smad]

smad...............i reiterate

You could always tell her you will bring the money to her, not send it over so that she will need to give you an address and a telephone no. Your daughter has issues and if she wants help she has to compromise, not have everything her way!

By doing this you would also have a clear first hand view of what is actually going on.

If at all possible when she calls next time propose to meet her with the cash in Thailand where she lives.

Go with her accross the border pay the overstay fine, make her legal (with a visa from Penang)

Give her some start-up money and go back home.

Be firm and if she really needs your help she will accede to your request. My opinion is that she is 28, she should act more maturely.

Good Luck!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi Jojo

Thanks for that I see where you are coming from - sadly we have not heard from her for over a week now and as I said previously we run a small business and we can't manage with one of us out of the equation for more than a couple of days. We live in Cornwall so it takes us a day to get to London!!!!!

I think everybody agrees that she is 28 and should be acting more maturely and as I discussed with my husband only yesterday if he were to go out there and pay to make her legal we feel that in a months time she will be pulling the same stunt again and expect us to go out and pay again. The vicious circle has to stop somewhere - so I think we are now taking the route of backing off and see what shit hits the fan next. I have to add that it is incredibly hard to come to that decision - but she has got to learn to grow up and be responsible. A vital lesson for her

Edited March 28, 2005 by smad

[mickmac]

I'm afraid she is just guilt tripping you. Personally I would not give in. My son got into quite a bit of debt, all his own doing, at a very young age, 19 yrs old. He asked me to pay it off, but I refused. It was not that I could not afford to do it, it was that if I had done so he would not appreciate the value of money. He finishes paying it off next month.

Your daughter is just using you, the more you give the more she will want. Just make her aware that you will be there for her if her world falls apart, and that there will be an air ticket out for her if/when she decides to leave Thailand, but that the free hand outs are over. She appears to want to make her own decisions, which at 28 she should be doing anyway, so she should be able to stand by them rather than depend on you.

How much money is the boyfriend giving to her, or are you and your husband expected to provide for him as well through subsidising your daughter?

[smad]

I'm afraid she is just guilt tripping you. Personally I would not give in. My son got into quite a bit of debt, all his own doing, at a very young age, 19 yrs old. He asked me to pay it off, but I refused. It was not that I could not afford to do it, it was that if I had done so he would not appreciate the value of money. He finishes paying it off next month.

Your daughter is just using you, the more you give the more she will want. Just make her aware that you will be there for her if her world falls apart, and that there will be an air ticket out for her if/when she decides to leave Thailand, but that the free hand outs are over. She appears to want to make her own decisions, which at 28 she should be doing anyway, so she should be able to stand by them rather than depend on you.

How much money is the boyfriend giving to her, or are you and your husband expected to provide for him as well through subsidising your daughter?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well said that man

Definitely with you on this one - we have as you can see offered her a one-way ticket home and we are not going to subsidise her/them. And yes we have made it clear that we will always be there when her world falls apart.

We know that they have borrowed money from his family and grandparents already - so am guesiing that they have had enough too and we were the next port of call. Fed up of being manipulated and sent on a guilt trip as you quite rightly say. TOUGH LOVE RULES!!!!!!

Thanks

[sriracha john]

good for you, smad... I think you are making the right decision... please keep us posted as necessary on her outcome....

kinda feels like we're "one of the family" now....

[smad]

good for you, smad...  I think you are making the right decision... please keep us posted as necessary on her outcome....

kinda feels like we're "one of the family" now.... 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for your support sriracha john - will keep you informed of any news - this takes the meaning of extended family to a whole new plane.

[jennscoot]

hello.

i think i can relate to what you are going through because i put my own parents through something similar some years ago. i hardly emailed until it was time to send them the 'help, i've done something stupid!' email when i was broke and alone and wondering how i'd gotten myself into the mess! ...and i'd always been so independent!

i'd also worried my parents further with a stay in hospital plus surgery - however, it was nothing serious, a simple matter.

they responded as you did, with an offer of paying my flight home, which i appreciated but i decided to stay on, at which point they probably resigned themselves to allowing me to make my own mistakes.

i had chosen badly - a gigolo, a liar, a thief of the worst kind - someone who just happened along at the right time (new in the country after 2 years in very safe asian country, no-one to hang out with and still missing my sweetheart from the previous country). the kind of guy that the negative posters on this board are warning you about - but it is a generalisation...and i had to pick it!!

it's not only in thailand; a european friend of mine had the same experience with her european boyfriend (same nationality) although it's certainly more prevalent here. however, it's not all bad news and there's no reason to assume he's a bad guy/drinker/cheat etc just because he's on a low income.

i stayed on (working, not overstaying), got involved with the right people, made solid friendships, and have met plenty of decent thai men - educated and uneducated - while not getting involved. i regained my sense of self and eventually met the thai man who is my partner now, a loving, talented, wise man who shares my values and plans for the future.

some years have passed, and i'm over 30, but i get the feeling my parents might have some reservations! we'll be going to live in my home country later this year.

the fact that your daughter is living in his village is a positive sign - and she'll be confronted with the realities of marrying someone from a very different culture with no money. the marriage may not even go ahead yet, and even if it does it's not the worst thing...things will work themselves out. if he is only looking for easy money and a ticket to london, he'll soon realise that you're not going to be such a pushover and your daughter knows you're there for her if she needs that ticket for her that you've offered.

if i may suggest..do as you're doing now and keep the lines of communication open and the offer of her ticket, try to keep things light as she works herself out.

um, you may consider posting his name / island, as thailand is a small place and somebody may have something more definite for you.

she is lucky to have such caring parents.

good luck!

[smad]

if i may suggest..do as you're doing now and keep the lines of communication open and the offer of her ticket, try to keep things light as she works herself out.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you for your comments - the offer and support are still there but sadly we have not heard from her for some time now. She did have an email account but that has lapsed and although we have given her instructions on how to activate it this has not happened.

All we know about this guy is that his name is Po and they are living in a village just outside Surat Thani (probably spelt that wrong) She is known as Fon and their friend is a man called Bun.

But we will patiently wait and worry as that is all we can do.

Edited March 30, 2005 by smad