Married With Children...

[GarryP]

Actually, while the attached table may be technically correct, in practice it is far from the truth. At licensed clinics, many of which are located in Din Daeng area near Sri Mahapho Hospital and run by foundations, abortions are available for economic reasons. These places are not back alley operations.

[LooseCannon]

"Or he might be completely wrong. I could be equipped with all of the above. I guess the biggest difference between myself and a majority of farangs in this country is that contrary to them I didn't come here because of the cheap sex available to anyone despite being fat and ugly as long as there is willingness to spend some money, but because of my intellectual abilities."

At what point in time did you flush your "intellectual abilities" down the shitter?

The bar where you met your "Nana girl" or did you wait till you got home?

[TheGoodDoctor]

I think UKMatt has the right idea. You guys need to realize that you are old and these girls are interested solely in your money. You are not handsome, funny, intelligent, nor do you have any redeeming qualities whatsoever besides your bank account balance. Its harsh but just imagine if OP realized this all before, he would not be in this terrible situation.

Or he might be completely wrong. I could be equipped with all of the above. I guess the biggest difference between myself and a majority of farangs in this country is that contrary to them I didn't come here because of the cheap sex available to anyone despite being fat and ugly as long as there is willingness to spend some money, but because of my intellectual abilities.

And, if there's ANYONE in here who believes the plan was to get a Nana girl pregnant and then get married; please identify yourself (I say that with a couple of recent comments regarding intelligence in mind).

Like most of you have been able to fathom; neither did I choose to be in the situation I am now, nor did I end up there by being reckless. Sometimes life's got shitty things in store for you, and this time my number came up.

Initially, I was prepared to accept this accidental pregnancy. You see; I have a moral issue with being irresponsible. But that all changed when she popped the million baht question.

Right now, I'm thinking more in terms of:

What does the average Thai think about abortion?

What is the legal responsibility towards a BG in case of an UNWANTED pregnancy?

Ok, thanks for clarifying. I did not realize that you are different from all the other guys who ended up in the same situation.

The moral responsibility is that you stuck your penis inside of her and made the child, so you take care of it and do what is best for child. You put the child above yourself. But somehow, I don't see you doing that. I see you putting yourself first.

Edited October 21, 2009 by TheGoodDoctor

[TheGoodDoctor]

I think UKMatt has the right idea. You guys need to realize that you are old and these girls are interested solely in your money. You are not handsome, funny, intelligent, nor do you have any redeeming qualities whatsoever besides your bank account balance. Its harsh but just imagine if OP realized this all before, he would not be in this terrible situation.

PACK SQUIRE. You may well be moving out of ThaiVisa.

Not trying to be mean, but why is the truth such a horrific thing? So many men come here try to convince themselves that women much younger than them are interested in them for reasons other than money and then they ruin their lives. Sorry, but don't kill the messenger. Blame evolution and human nature.

Edited October 21, 2009 by TheGoodDoctor

[KunMatt]

I think UKMatt has the right idea. You guys need to realize that you are old and these girls are interested solely in your money. You are not handsome, funny, intelligent, nor do you have any redeeming qualities whatsoever besides your bank account balance. Its harsh but just imagine if OP realized this all before, he would not be in this terrible situation.

I never said anything about him not being handsome, funny, intelligent, etc. There's every chance he is all of these things and a very good catch to a normal girl, but that's makes not an ounce of difference to the girl he has knocked up, she just has dollar signs in her eyes right now.

Get a grip OP, how are you going to tell your friends and family how you met her and what she's been doing for a living for the last 7 years? I'm sure your kid will appreciate the romantic anecdote of how daddy gave mummy a tip the morning after for giving him an extraordinary blowy. It will surely be impossible to have a normal life with this girl meeting her how you did, girl out of the bar, bar out of the girl and all of that, so shut it down while you still can or you'll have a lifetime of denial.

What you decide here will have ramifications for the rest of your life so make an emotional-free decision wth your head; do what you SHOULD do for yourself, rather than what you think you HAVE to do for this BG. I've seen some really miserable expats in Asia who have a horrifying life with a bitch from hel_l after doing the honourable thing and marrying a BG they accidently knocked up, completely ruining their own lives in the process.

I guess the bottom line is you have to decide who's life is more important; yours or hers.

[ChangMaiSausage]

Pay the million and walk away the child will have the same life he/she would have even if you send money on a regular basis, he/she will be brough up in Issan with the grandparents and your young lady will be back in the bar looking for another shining knight.

IMO the realitionship is not going to work this is again my opinion based on what you have already said.

[Takatongtakatang]

Get a grip OP, how are you going to tell your friends and family how you met her and what she's been doing for a living for the last 7 years? I'm sure your kid will appreciate the romantic anecdote of how daddy gave mummy a tip the morning after for giving him an extraordinary blowy. It will surely be impossible to have a normal life with this girl meeting her how you did, girl out of the bar, bar out of the girl and all of that, so shut it down while you still can or you'll have a lifetime of denial.

Yes, this is pretty much what I was thinking; the problem is I don’t know how to solve the pregnancy argument of this equation. Support the kid for the rest of my life? Sure! But would you want your son/daughter to grow up in Isaan?

I certainly can’t tell friends and family how I made her acquaintance

What you decide here will have ramifications for the rest of your life so make an emotional-free decision wth your head; do what you SHOULD do for yourself, rather than what you think you HAVE to do for this BG. I've seen some really miserable expats in Asia who have a horrifying life with a bitch from hel_l after doing the honourable thing and marrying a BG they accidently knocked up, completely ruining their own lives in the process.

I guess the bottom line is you have to decide who's life is more important; yours or hers.

Word. Edited October 21, 2009 by Takatongtakatang

[Heng]

I thought it was 'call for the million' not 'pay the million.'

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[dr_Pat_Pong]

I think UKMatt has the right idea. You guys need to realize that you are old and these girls are interested solely in your money. You are not handsome, funny, intelligent, nor do you have any redeeming qualities whatsoever besides your bank account balance. Its harsh but just imagine if OP realized this all before, he would not be in this terrible situation.

PACK SQUIRE. You may well be moving out of ThaiVisa.

Not trying to be mean, but why is the truth such a horrific thing? So many men come here try to convince themselves that women much younger than them are interested in them for reasons other than money and then they ruin their lives. Sorry, but don't kill the messenger. Blame evolution and human nature.

There are rules here that clearly cover banned members returning,

[lekandgary]

I do not wish to appear insensitive, but the words Nana and Issan together, Just make me SHIVER!

[bifftastic]

I agree that calling her bluff by saying you'll take the baby yourself could well end up backfiring on you big time.

How? Single dad issue?

yes she could easily leave you quite literally 'holding the baby'

if it's all true and you do like this girl and you want to keep the baby and her then I reckon you should just tell her that you haven't got it and if you did have it you wouldn't give it to her family because you'll both need it to take care of the new family which is you and her and the baby, so she has a choice; she stays with you and carries on getting 50k/month ( i would even cut that down, now we have to save money for the baby's future, 10K of your money's going into a savings account) plus you supporting the new baby or you split up with her and you'll give her 10k a month for the baby, which is still a hel_l of a lot more than many women get.

Great advice. Best so far. Thanks.

no problem happy to help

Plus she'll need to repair what trust used to be there because by asking for a million baht you now think of her very differently.

Call me a romantic, but this is probably what bothers me most.

nothing wrong with being a romantic, that would bother me the most too. She can say it was her family's idea and hopefully you can put it behind you?

if you do have a million and you do give it up then, what's the phrase I'm looking for?....... som nam na

Yeah. While she is like...what's the phrase I'm looking for?........gin nim nim.

It will never happen though, trust me. I'll look after the kid, but there is no way I'm giving her family that kind of money.

good for you :-) hope it all works out and you can be happy

[Takatongtakatang]

Thanks for all help with info on Sin Sod and other things I wish I’d known about a long time ago. One person, in particular, was kind enough to share with me some of his own experiences in similar matters; you know who you are – I cant thank you enough.

The issue was brought up for discussion yesterday, and as you can all imagine it turned out to be quite an interesting Sunday night. Without revealing to much I can say that perhaps it wasn't as relaxed as you would normally want to spend Sunday night…

[TheGoodDoctor]

keep going...

[rabcbroon]

why is op being accused of being a troll. houses built by foreigners upcountry would prove these tools(silly people) do exist, and in large numbers.

because nobody - sane - would give 40k pocket money to some nana brass

[TheGoodDoctor]

why is op being accused of being a troll. houses built by foreigners upcountry would prove these tools(silly people) do exist, and in large numbers.

because nobody - sane - would give 40k pocket money to some nana brass

so you would marry one just not give her so much money. lol.

[Takatongtakatang]

A miscarriage tragically ended the pregnancy earlier this week.

[Hssl]

There is a Budda....................... NOW RUN!!!

[zzaa09]

There is a Budda....................... NOW RUN!!!

....and change your name if need be!!!

[sassienie]

To the OP:

I strongly believe you are a troll, because no one can be this stupid and this must be a wind up.

I’m not going to bother saying anymore, because this isn’t worth the time and effort.

[PaulUSA302]

This is Thailand. Haggle and get yourself checked for STD's

[cognos]

stories like this are one reason I avoided BG's and married a conservative girl from a relatively well off family..paid 200,000 baht for sin sord and got it all back the next day, as it was for a face saving show only... consider moving on and being a single dad if necessary.. 1 million baht is not a fortune by the way. signed..thought with his little head too, but not for marriage ps..not that bg's are bad people..they are not, but many are generally uneducated and damned sexy ( for now anyway)

[malomker]

This is Thailand. Haggle and get yourself checked for STD's

I guess the OP hasn't read Private Dancer? I know it's fiction but the ground that it covers is interesting, to say the least.

[loganberry]

Wow! You are really getting rung out to dry by the farmers, aren't you?! I agree with the general consensus here that you are being taken for an idiot. Congratulations on the baby-on-the-way, but I feel sorrry that you are left to stain the image of your possibly son/daughter with the greedy fingers of your future in-laws.

Paying 1 million and 10 baht of gold is not uncommon at all. Only when considering where your girl comes from and what she has to offer do I see the problem. In fact, mine's parents asked for 2 million cash and 10 baht of gold.... but she is from a higher class family that demanded something a little more extravagant. They gave an incredible deal though: returned all the cash and gold 100% (just used it for talk among their friends), all wedding expenses and travel paid, and even a gift of house, car and misc. property to celebrate the marriage.

As for you, you should find out whether the child is really yours before the marrriage. Just because you have a "time-line" doesn't mean anything at all. Once you find out it is your's and you are going to take care of it no matter what... consider getting the kid out of there and finding someone else who doesn't want to extort you just to keep the so-called "family" together. Any girl should be lucky to be making a family with a guy who is seemingly dedicated to traditional values..... not be so lucky as to help her parents profit from the set-up.

[thaibkk]

time for a dexter abortion and find you a new one

[inquisitive]

TROLL alert .

Must be so boring at the other side , so best thing is to troll a new thread

over here where most do take you serious , must say it is boring tonight also .

Here's the thing, Mate. There is no harm being done by this thread whether a troll or not. Since you feel it is a troll, then I would suggest that you simply stop reading the posts and certainly stop replying. Those who are concerned or amused by the thread can then participate without any interference or judgements made against them.

Peace.

[Padrino]

2 options:

Ask her if she will have an abortion - Warning; she may get very angry at this so be prepared for a mental fit. If she agrees then you are quids in.

if not:

Tell her you are leaving her anyway, you do not want her. Tell her to have the baby as she so pleases, and you will pay her to leave you and leave the kid behind, 1m Baht should do it if you have that sort of cash (to be honest 200,000 would probably do it). Carry on working your job in BKK and hire a full time nanny, which would be far cheaper that what you are shedding out at the moment.

Someone here described the life your kid will have growing up in Isaan with the granny etc, and they hit the nail on the head. The girl will go back on the game for sure - no uni paper to get a half decent job and used to fast lazy money. Your kid will end up an unedcated mess somewhere in the sticks, never knowing why his farang daddy didn't give him a better life than his mates. The kid is your number 1 concern - unless of course you love her and want to be with her.

Lose any emotions you have now, do not look back, look forward and think of the best solution. Be honest with yourself - what would you do if you got a brass pregnant in your home country? Would you even be living with her?

[Padrino]

A miscarriage tragically ended the pregnancy earlier this week.

sorry to hear that your trollness

[CHINWA]

In my opinion, a woman who asks for that amount has not intention of sharing her life with you. Any decent woman living with a guy who gives her 50K / month, pregnant, and unemployed would be thinking very seriously about the future. Tell her that if the relationship/union you're in only means business to her, you're not interested and she may leave whenever she wants. This will make her think twice before asking again for that ridiculous amount. Anyway in your place I would consider the possibility of really leaving her now that you realize that her feelings for you are simply monetary.

Best of luck

[Brewsta]

She expect to get 1 Million baht because you are giving her a lot of money, this is normal.

Don't give her anything and send her to work at the restaurant or seven eleven, she will be asking you no more than 30 or 40K to marry her.

If i was her, i would ask you 2 or 3 Million ;-)

Seems like a good strategy.......hmmmmm. however.....

Interesting to see the following fireworks or female flood.....family fuming.....??

rgdz,

Brewsta