Thai Wife - Is Your Girlfriend The One?

[HappyThaiLife]

Looking for a happy life in the LOS? With a nice girlfriend that you may want to marry in future?

Here are a few things I would like to suggest to any foreign men that may be following this thread, especially new comers to the LOS. I just thought I'd toss this out as it seems that us falang men here in the LOS should unite and, for want of a better word, fight back on the many thai wife scams. Here you are, a few things to think about when starting a union with your new-found dream girl in the LOS::

1) Pick of the litter. Find an educated gal that works in an office preferably raised by mother/father, small'ish extended family, from the country areas, and educated on her own merits. Find out quickly how many foreign men she has had relationships with; ask all the Ws (Who, what, where, why, etc); look for anything that sounds strange in her answers and question her about it. Always tell your other head: "You can take the BG out of the bar but not the bar out of the BG". I recommend re-affirming this daily. Ask yourself: Is your new found girl actually a BG, a part-time freelancer, a freelancer, a part-time escort, a pro escort, a new scammer or a veteran scammer? Has she done any of these types of work in past to generate revenue? Does she have a thai boyfriend, a scam support group, or a scheming family behind her? Fellas, ask yourself these questions and question her; find the closest thing to the truth that you can.

2) Your abode, not hers! Find your own place, in your name. If you are new here, rent a nice apartment on a month to month or 3 month basis in an area you may like (lots to be had these days at fantastically low prices; shop around, ask respectable thais and other foreigners). If you are thinking of buying something, go for a "strata" title deal condo in your name. If you want land/house/property, there are many lawyer/finance businesses (accredited abroad) that can help you with company set up and can handle mutliple thai shareholders "in-house"; this is the safest way, albeit not in anyway completely free of risk. Be aware that there can be many issues and changing "local rules" with land ownership! PM me if you want a couple of examples for lawyer/finance companies - or just search on the web and confirm these with your embassy / expat club / business club. Once you have the girl and the love nest...

3) Test the girlfriend - apartment. Let her stay over at times but don't let her move in right away! If she tries to shack up immediately, tell her no, go slow babe. If she objects, dump her on the spot, tell her to get out. Once she knows the rules, then let her have a bit of the run of the place, slowly. If she tries to change the maid, tell her no, the maid that came with the place is just fine thank you. If she asks about household goods for extended family, dump her asap. Oh, have I forgotten to mention...don't give her a key, nor any access to the place; if she befriends the apartment staff, the owner or manager, tell her that this is your place and you are a private fella that keeps his business to himself...no personal relationships with the apartment personnel please; if she objects, dump her. If a friend or family member is going to come and stay, tell her that you don't mind her staying at the flat while her friends/family stay at her place. Don't waver on this...once a friend or family member is in your flat, they may be difficult to remove. Don't let her move in at all costs...not until step 9 below and even then be aware that it is not the norm for thais to co-habitate like people do in other countries and the family may be dead against it...so do yourself a favour and wait. Having her living apart from you is a much better deal anyway and will show her true intentions with you (or your wallet).

4) Test the girlfriend - internet. Try and find out about her from as many people as you can without her knowing. I've done some crazy things like using internet social networking sites...trying to get her to add me as a friend and answer my fake messages sent to her facebook, twitter, etc. I've used fake profiles with a subtle focus on apartments/money in my ad and then send a message to her profile (if you think this is a bad thing, don't worry about it, some thai women will do this to you possibly with the help of her girlfriends. Try using emails from fake addresses; same same here fellas, her girlfriends may do this to you, be aware of this. (Been there, done that, bought more than the t-shirt fellas). I've not installed a key logger on my laptop (or hers) but have been thinking about it; this was done to me in past and I actually had a lot of fun with her about it - I eventually told her that the past week of my bizarre internet actions were not me, I lent my laptop out to my friend; a week later I told her that it was all a game that I played back on her; I dumped her a week later after some interesting conversations! She only wanted my wallet anyway and I knew it. Speaking of which...

5) Test the girlfriend - money. Remember, never give out money like an endless ATM. Don't pay for her rent. Don't constantly buy her things. Take her out yes, of course, and choose food or entertainment spots that range from "on the street" star to 5 star. Take note how she deals with the people, especially in the low end spots; in the 5 star spots, she should feel humble, impressed, happy; if she is not humble in the expensive joint then maybe she has had the 5 star high-life before you and is not going to tell you about her wondrous lavish past lifestyle with the previous falang kwai (you'll eventually find out if this is so). In the low end spots, generally speaking, she should feel very comfortable; more importantly she should treat all people with respect and some compassion...that is the true indicator I believe. Ask her for pick up something for dinner one night and bring it over; ask her where she bought it and what did it cost...and don't offer to pay for it...probably cost 200 Baht at most if it is thai food from a small local restaurant in bkk. If she puts her hand for you to pay for it, tell her no have cash right now, you need to go to the ATM so will pay her tomorrow...then don't pay her...if she asks again, tell her that she can pay for the odd thai take-away. If she objects, dump her.

6) Test the girlfriend - money. Once you are getting really comfortable with your new-found love, try a shopping test. First take her out and go shopping for about an hour with her; go to a mall and look around for a few hours but don't spend more than an hour actually shopping (most of us can't shop deal with long shopping sessions anyway so no point in torturing yourself mate). When you go into a shop, check her actions closely...is she shopping for you or for her? Just play it cool and let her make the decisions. If she automatically tries to buy a new phone, new clothes, new bag, or shoes for herself using your wallet, well, then, mate, wake up...you've got your answer. If she is trying to "fake it" and play the game by looking for clothes for you to make it seem that she is authentic, well, her true endeavours are much harder to ascertain. You may have to go back to step 5 above and re-visit this test another time; just let her "buy" one thing for you using your wallet then get out quickly. This may actually lead to her wanting to buy you something on her own accord and she may actually bring something for you in the very near future. If she does, she may be real and not just a wallet chaser, if not, back to step 5 mate.

7) Test the girlfriend - money. At some opportune point in time, preferably when you have something you must do alone, ask her if she wants to go shopping and offer to give her 5000 or 10000 Baht, and jokingly mention that she can bring back the change. If she refuses your money then you may have met a good one. If she takes the money, check her reaction closely, and mention that you would like her to pickup something for you, a phone top-up card or cigarettes or a bottle of wine. When you see her later, don't say a word about her shopping, let her show you what she bought and any money left over. If she bought the wine, ciggies or top-up card...well at least she remembered what you said and didn't go completely brain dead over the cash. If she spent all the cash, well she is probably a wallet chaser. If she just bought all clothes and stuff for herself, her friends and family, most probably a wallet chaser. If she bought some things for her and some extra things for you, maybe she is authentic or trying to look that way? If she bought nothing for herself and some extra things for you, well, possibly she is authentic or acting out her game. If she brought back no change or doesn't offer you the change or just put it on the table, go back to step 5; be wary of her if she spent the lot with nothing much to show for it or she didn't bring back anything for you. Women and shopping go hand in hand, they went to shopping school mate, so best to sort out what she is like with your cash right away. 5 or 10K Baht is a drop in the bucket at the beginning and money well spent to find out if she is just a serial wallet snatcher.

8) Test the family - advice/money. If you made it to here, pat yourself on the back mate, you are probably luckier than 90% of other falang. If you have met the family before step 7, well, all I can say is... pause, do nothing with the family, go back to step 3 mate. Does that sound bizarre? Well, do yourself a favour and slow down with the family. Have you given the family money or goods or presents yet? If so...pause, do nothing with the family, go back to step 3 mate. Keep your cool and just tell your girl that family is very important to you and you want to be sure about moving forward with your family as it is a big deal. Do yourself a favour mate and be patient...remember that you'll have plenty of time to dish out cash to the family in the future if she is the one for you. If she is not cool about this, warn her, tell her that her family is important and you want to do this the right way, your way, your comfortable way. Delay, delay, delay fellas. You must be very careful with her extended family, their contacts, connections, and abilitiies. Once you are "in", you only have two ways to go, all or nothing. So just make sure that your ALL is only the disposable money/income that you are willing to lose in thailand; always keep your own nest egg, preferably abroad.

9) Test the family - money. If you have made it this far, ASK her about her family, their history, their current lives, their financial shape, everything you can. Every family has an unique story to tell...there is always some story...and I don't mean this in any negative sense, just find out about them and be aware...put the pieces together the best you can. If you know anyone from their village/town/city, get them to check out her family without them knowing. I am doing this now...slowly, slowly. Then ASK her if her parents want to come and visit; you'll pay for their travel (a test). If they agree, be aware big time; if they offer to come on their own accord, perfect. THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET HER FAMILY, DON'T GO VISIT THEM in their house/village/town/city; JUST DON'T, REFUSE TO DO THIS, plead insanity if you have to, a heart problem, anything. Let HER FAMILY COME TO YOU for a visit. When they come, make sure you have an exit strategy that day; arrange something that "just came up" the evening before the family is to arrive and don't mention it until the day before when the family is travelling or on the day of the visit. Now...make sure you get the family to stay at her place; if this is not possible, offer to pay for a hotel for them; if they easily accept, be aware! If they won't accept a hotel paid for and can't afford one, then let them stay at your place with your girlfriend while you stay at a nearby hotel (clear out all valuables before hand, if they take the furniture well you are not a very bright lad for letting them in for that length of time without supervision, are you?). Make sure you let the apartment personnel know that the girlfriend's family is coming and make sure the girlfriend witnesses this. If it all works to plan up to this point, then ideally make sure that you have a thai/english speaking friend of yours that can pop in and visit with you and the family briefly. A friend that your girlfriend "sort of" knows but ideally a friend that you know well and one that speaks only in english and answers in thai only when required to the family. If you have to hire a "friend", do it. Check out the reaction of the family before, during and after this friend is introduced. Ask your friend about it afterwards; it may reveal some family purpose or schemes. If your first family visit involves talk of money or goods...take your exit card and go do that thing that "just came up" the night before. Speak with your girlfriend the next day and tell her that you are busy today so won't be able to visit with her family; tell her to have fun and be happy with her family...talk later babe. When the family departs, talk to her about the money talk that occurred when you met the family for the first time at your flat.

If your first visit with the family did not involve money, you may be onto a real thing.

If the first family visit worked out, have another one in about 3 - 6 months, get them to come again. If they truly cannot come to you, no worries, just send her alone. Wait for 3-6 months and try again; this time if they cannot come, go and see them. Have a mate stay at your place and lock up all your valuables when you are away at her family's abode.

10) MOST IMPORTANTLY... Make sure that you are more important to her alive - don't put all your eggs into her basket mate...because someone else may understand the scenario and give her the push to put you out of the picture permanently. This has occurred in Thailand on more than one occasion.

Having said all this above, I believe that the LOS is a fantastic spot in the world and plan to eventually retire here in 10-20 years; right now "I'll play my cards close to my chest" and see what transpires with my latest girlfriend. She is lovely and quite "westernised"; she finally asked me for money earlier this year and then paid it back to me promptly.

I may sound like a self-obsessed bastard but in honesty I treat her like a princess and our lives are, so far, quite full and we are very happy. Issues do occur but she does have the ability to reason with me rather than just put her back to the wall and go into ATM withdrawal mode. She knows, and her parents now know, that I am not their ATM; I told her quite bluntly (verbatim) that there are many falang kwai ATMs in the LOS so she can have her pick anytime and I can go back to how I lived in thailand 3 years ago...foot loose and fancy-free. She continually chooses to stay in my AMT-free zone, works a job now, and is looking for a bright future. Good girl. I've seen what has transpired with some of her single girlfriends; they are unhappy and can't find a man; they need training as well I reckon.

I've been in LOS for about 3 years and have gone through about 4 girlfriends. 2 lasted mere weeks, 1 lasted 2 months, 1 lasted 7 months. I read up on thailand prior to coming here and "played my cards very close to my chest". I am with a new gal now and have been with her for about a year... she pays for the basic living expenses, I pay for most (not all) dinners, drinks, entertainment and most trips within or out of thailand. She has a professional office job. I've basically tried to be as cautious as possible with women here and I've TALKED to her about the many scams that I have heard of in thailand, especially between thai wife / falang kwai. I have told her that I keep my money/nest egg abroad (which I do). And have, many times, kindly suggested in a round-about way that, at the first inkling that I feel our relationship is based on her sole want of my money, I am gone, poof!, instantly. The Lottery is over baby and you lost. The reality is that all women look for money intially, but there is a large difference between a serial wallet snatcher and a woman that is looking for a happy secure future. Fellas, do this first, tell her that wallet chasers are not allowed in your life, well before any living arrangement or, god forbid, money giving.

Fellas, we can teach some of these LOS gals to understand us and what a cross-culture relationship can truly be like plus show them that they do not need to be a serial wallet chasing ATM withdrawal demon to have a happy financial future. On second thought, possibly that is just naive...

[Benjie]

Who said Romance was dead?

[woot]

Looking for a happy life in the LOS? With a nice girlfriend that you may want to marry in future?

Here are a few things I would like to suggest to any foreign men that may be following this thread, especially new comers to the LOS. I just thought I'd toss this out as it seems that us falang men here in the LOS should unite and, for want of a better word, fight back on the many thai wife scams. Here you are, a few things to think about when starting a union with your new-found dream girl in the LOS::

1) Pick of the litter. Find an educated gal that works in an office preferably raised by mother/father, small'ish extended family, from the country areas, and educated on her own merits. Find out quickly how many foreign men she has had relationships with; ask all the Ws (Who, what, where, why, etc); look for anything that sounds strange in her answers and question her about it. Always tell your other head: "You can take the BG out of the bar but not the bar out of the BG". I recommend re-affirming this daily. Ask yourself: Is your new found girl actually a BG, a part-time freelancer, a freelancer, a part-time escort, a pro escort, a new scammer or a veteran scammer? Has she done any of these types of work in past to generate revenue? Does she have a thai boyfriend, a scam support group, or a scheming family behind her? Fellas, ask yourself these questions and question her; find the closest thing to the truth that you can.

2) Your abode, not hers! Find your own place, in your name. If you are new here, rent a nice apartment on a month to month or 3 month basis in an area you may like (lots to be had these days at fantastically low prices; shop around, ask respectable thais and other foreigners). If you are thinking of buying something, go for a "strata" title deal condo in your name. If you want land/house/property, there are many lawyer/finance businesses (accredited abroad) that can help you with company set up and can handle mutliple thai shareholders "in-house"; this is the safest way, albeit not in anyway completely free of risk. Be aware that there can be many issues and changing "local rules" with land ownership! PM me if you want a couple of examples for lawyer/finance companies - or just search on the web and confirm these with your embassy / expat club / business club. Once you have the girl and the love nest...

3) Test the girlfriend - apartment. Let her stay over at times but don't let her move in right away! If she tries to shack up immediately, tell her no, go slow babe. If she objects, dump her on the spot, tell her to get out. Once she knows the rules, then let her have a bit of the run of the place, slowly. If she tries to change the maid, tell her no, the maid that came with the place is just fine thank you. If she asks about household goods for extended family, dump her asap. Oh, have I forgotten to mention...don't give her a key, nor any access to the place; if she befriends the apartment staff, the owner or manager, tell her that this is your place and you are a private fella that keeps his business to himself...no personal relationships with the apartment personnel please; if she objects, dump her. If a friend or family member is going to come and stay, tell her that you don't mind her staying at the flat while her friends/family stay at her place. Don't waver on this...once a friend or family member is in your flat, they may be difficult to remove. Don't let her move in at all costs...not until step 9 below and even then be aware that it is not the norm for thais to co-habitate like people do in other countries and the family may be dead against it...so do yourself a favour and wait. Having her living apart from you is a much better deal anyway and will show her true intentions with you (or your wallet).

4) Test the girlfriend - internet. Try and find out about her from as many people as you can without her knowing. I've done some crazy things like using internet social networking sites...trying to get her to add me as a friend and answer my fake messages sent to her facebook, twitter, etc. I've used fake profiles with a subtle focus on apartments/money in my ad and then send a message to her profile (if you think this is a bad thing, don't worry about it, some thai women will do this to you possibly with the help of her girlfriends. Try using emails from fake addresses; same same here fellas, her girlfriends may do this to you, be aware of this. (Been there, done that, bought more than the t-shirt fellas). I've not installed a key logger on my laptop (or hers) but have been thinking about it; this was done to me in past and I actually had a lot of fun with her about it - I eventually told her that the past week of my bizarre internet actions were not me, I lent my laptop out to my friend; a week later I told her that it was all a game that I played back on her; I dumped her a week later after some interesting conversations! She only wanted my wallet anyway and I knew it. Speaking of which...

5) Test the girlfriend - money. Remember, never give out money like an endless ATM. Don't pay for her rent. Don't constantly buy her things. Take her out yes, of course, and choose food or entertainment spots that range from "on the street" star to 5 star. Take note how she deals with the people, especially in the low end spots; in the 5 star spots, she should feel humble, impressed, happy; if she is not humble in the expensive joint then maybe she has had the 5 star high-life before you and is not going to tell you about her wondrous lavish past lifestyle with the previous falang kwai (you'll eventually find out if this is so). In the low end spots, generally speaking, she should feel very comfortable; more importantly she should treat all people with respect and some compassion...that is the true indicator I believe. Ask her for pick up something for dinner one night and bring it over; ask her where she bought it and what did it cost...and don't offer to pay for it...probably cost 200 Baht at most if it is thai food from a small local restaurant in bkk. If she puts her hand for you to pay for it, tell her no have cash right now, you need to go to the ATM so will pay her tomorrow...then don't pay her...if she asks again, tell her that she can pay for the odd thai take-away. If she objects, dump her.

6) Test the girlfriend - money. Once you are getting really comfortable with your new-found love, try a shopping test. First take her out and go shopping for about an hour with her; go to a mall and look around for a few hours but don't spend more than an hour actually shopping (most of us can't shop deal with long shopping sessions anyway so no point in torturing yourself mate). When you go into a shop, check her actions closely...is she shopping for you or for her? Just play it cool and let her make the decisions. If she automatically tries to buy a new phone, new clothes, new bag, or shoes for herself using your wallet, well, then, mate, wake up...you've got your answer. If she is trying to "fake it" and play the game by looking for clothes for you to make it seem that she is authentic, well, her true endeavours are much harder to ascertain. You may have to go back to step 5 above and re-visit this test another time; just let her "buy" one thing for you using your wallet then get out quickly. This may actually lead to her wanting to buy you something on her own accord and she may actually bring something for you in the very near future. If she does, she may be real and not just a wallet chaser, if not, back to step 5 mate.

7) Test the girlfriend - money. At some opportune point in time, preferably when you have something you must do alone, ask her if she wants to go shopping and offer to give her 5000 or 10000 Baht, and jokingly mention that she can bring back the change. If she refuses your money then you may have met a good one. If she takes the money, check her reaction closely, and mention that you would like her to pickup something for you, a phone top-up card or cigarettes or a bottle of wine. When you see her later, don't say a word about her shopping, let her show you what she bought and any money left over. If she bought the wine, ciggies or top-up card...well at least she remembered what you said and didn't go completely brain dead over the cash. If she spent all the cash, well she is probably a wallet chaser. If she just bought all clothes and stuff for herself, her friends and family, most probably a wallet chaser. If she bought some things for her and some extra things for you, maybe she is authentic or trying to look that way? If she bought nothing for herself and some extra things for you, well, possibly she is authentic or acting out her game. If she brought back no change or doesn't offer you the change or just put it on the table, go back to step 5; be wary of her if she spent the lot with nothing much to show for it or she didn't bring back anything for you. Women and shopping go hand in hand, they went to shopping school mate, so best to sort out what she is like with your cash right away. 5 or 10K Baht is a drop in the bucket at the beginning and money well spent to find out if she is just a serial wallet snatcher.

8) Test the family - advice/money. If you made it to here, pat yourself on the back mate, you are probably luckier than 90% of other falang. If you have met the family before step 7, well, all I can say is... pause, do nothing with the family, go back to step 3 mate. Does that sound bizarre? Well, do yourself a favour and slow down with the family. Have you given the family money or goods or presents yet? If so...pause, do nothing with the family, go back to step 3 mate. Keep your cool and just tell your girl that family is very important to you and you want to be sure about moving forward with your family as it is a big deal. Do yourself a favour mate and be patient...remember that you'll have plenty of time to dish out cash to the family in the future if she is the one for you. If she is not cool about this, warn her, tell her that her family is important and you want to do this the right way, your way, your comfortable way. Delay, delay, delay fellas. You must be very careful with her extended family, their contacts, connections, and abilitiies. Once you are "in", you only have two ways to go, all or nothing. So just make sure that your ALL is only the disposable money/income that you are willing to lose in thailand; always keep your own nest egg, preferably abroad.

9) Test the family - money. If you have made it this far, ASK her about her family, their history, their current lives, their financial shape, everything you can. Every family has an unique story to tell...there is always some story...and I don't mean this in any negative sense, just find out about them and be aware...put the pieces together the best you can. If you know anyone from their village/town/city, get them to check out her family without them knowing. I am doing this now...slowly, slowly. Then ASK her if her parents want to come and visit; you'll pay for their travel (a test). If they agree, be aware big time; if they offer to come on their own accord, perfect. THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET HER FAMILY, DON'T GO VISIT THEM in their house/village/town/city; JUST DON'T, REFUSE TO DO THIS, plead insanity if you have to, a heart problem, anything. Let HER FAMILY COME TO YOU for a visit. When they come, make sure you have an exit strategy that day; arrange something that "just came up" the evening before the family is to arrive and don't mention it until the day before when the family is travelling or on the day of the visit. Now...make sure you get the family to stay at her place; if this is not possible, offer to pay for a hotel for them; if they easily accept, be aware! If they won't accept a hotel paid for and can't afford one, then let them stay at your place with your girlfriend while you stay at a nearby hotel (clear out all valuables before hand, if they take the furniture well you are not a very bright lad for letting them in for that length of time without supervision, are you?). Make sure you let the apartment personnel know that the girlfriend's family is coming and make sure the girlfriend witnesses this. If it all works to plan up to this point, then ideally make sure that you have a thai/english speaking friend of yours that can pop in and visit with you and the family briefly. A friend that your girlfriend "sort of" knows but ideally a friend that you know well and one that speaks only in english and answers in thai only when required to the family. If you have to hire a "friend", do it. Check out the reaction of the family before, during and after this friend is introduced. Ask your friend about it afterwards; it may reveal some family purpose or schemes. If your first family visit involves talk of money or goods...take your exit card and go do that thing that "just came up" the night before. Speak with your girlfriend the next day and tell her that you are busy today so won't be able to visit with her family; tell her to have fun and be happy with her family...talk later babe. When the family departs, talk to her about the money talk that occurred when you met the family for the first time at your flat.

If your first visit with the family did not involve money, you may be onto a real thing.

If the first family visit worked out, have another one in about 3 - 6 months, get them to come again. If they truly cannot come to you, no worries, just send her alone. Wait for 3-6 months and try again; this time if they cannot come, go and see them. Have a mate stay at your place and lock up all your valuables when you are away at her family's abode.

10) MOST IMPORTANTLY... Make sure that you are more important to her alive - don't put all your eggs into her basket mate...because someone else may understand the scenario and give her the push to put you out of the picture permanently. This has occurred in Thailand on more than one occasion.

Having said all this above, I believe that the LOS is a fantastic spot in the world and plan to eventually retire here in 10-20 years; right now "I'll play my cards close to my chest" and see what transpires with my latest girlfriend. She is lovely and quite "westernised"; she finally asked me for money earlier this year and then paid it back to me promptly.

I may sound like a self-obsessed bastard but in honesty I treat her like a princess and our lives are, so far, quite full and we are very happy. Issues do occur but she does have the ability to reason with me rather than just put her back to the wall and go into ATM withdrawal mode. She knows, and her parents now know, that I am not their ATM; I told her quite bluntly (verbatim) that there are many falang kwai ATMs in the LOS so she can have her pick anytime and I can go back to how I lived in thailand 3 years ago...foot loose and fancy-free. She continually chooses to stay in my AMT-free zone, works a job now, and is looking for a bright future. Good girl. I've seen what has transpired with some of her single girlfriends; they are unhappy and can't find a man; they need training as well I reckon.

I've been in LOS for about 3 years and have gone through about 4 girlfriends. 2 lasted mere weeks, 1 lasted 2 months, 1 lasted 7 months. I read up on thailand prior to coming here and "played my cards very close to my chest". I am with a new gal now and have been with her for about a year... she pays for the basic living expenses, I pay for most (not all) dinners, drinks, entertainment and most trips within or out of thailand. She has a professional office job. I've basically tried to be as cautious as possible with women here and I've TALKED to her about the many scams that I have heard of in thailand, especially between thai wife / falang kwai. I have told her that I keep my money/nest egg abroad (which I do). And have, many times, kindly suggested in a round-about way that, at the first inkling that I feel our relationship is based on her sole want of my money, I am gone, poof!, instantly. The Lottery is over baby and you lost. The reality is that all women look for money intially, but there is a large difference between a serial wallet snatcher and a woman that is looking for a happy secure future. Fellas, do this first, tell her that wallet chasers are not allowed in your life, well before any living arrangement or, god forbid, money giving.

Fellas, we can teach some of these LOS gals to understand us and what a cross-culture relationship can truly be like plus show them that they do not need to be a serial wallet chasing ATM withdrawal demon to have a happy financial future. On second thought, possibly that is just naive...

well done posting a bunch of hooey!

at least i agree with the part that just most are naive! have no clue what marrying a thai involves..........espeially when one considers what kind of girls are genereally up for "marriage with a dubious farang". i doubt many farangs are hooking up with office girls who have decent jobs.

[richard_smith237]

Hmm… The only foreigners I know here are dating / Married to… Flight Attendant / University Lecturer / MD of family Company / Own their own business / Work for decent company.

IMO in Bangkok at least, there are plenty of respectful and financially independent ladies around.

I disagree with the majority of this post, but as it seems aimed at guys who are worried whether or not their girl is a BG or money grabber then behaving like this might be necessary.

Neither anyone I know or myself would treat our girlfriend or her family in this disrespectful manner.

One thing I read that I quite agreed with was the point that touched upon knowing how many western ex’s the GF has. Of the successful relationships I know of over here the answer is generally zero.

IMO – A successful relationship is often a result of (but not solely limited to) both parties being of a similar socio-economic status, financial independence and similar age brackets as it would in many countries.

[nidge]

One thing I read that I quite agreed with was the point that touched upon knowing how many western ex’s the GF has. Of the successful relationships I know of over here the answer is generally zero.

I am sure you are right saying generally zero.

However, my wife had a farang husband before me and I had a Thai wife before her. Her ex was an abusive alcoholic and my ex was an Issan gold digger. We both got seriously hurt in our last relationships and that has made ours stronger. We know what behaviour is acceptable in each others culture and do not want to go through the same problems as before. I don't know whether it makes us try harder to keep each other happy, but as long as we are happy it all that matters.

[Moonrakers]

Wooooahh.

Are we really supposed to read all of that?

[mrtoad]

Wooooahh.

Are we really supposed to read all of that?

Could be difficult after a few too many bottles of Chang.

How many have you had?

[nidge]

Wooooahh.

Are we really supposed to read all of that?

Could be difficult after a few too many bottles of Chang.

How many have you had?

I ran out So was forced to have a vodka

[HappyThaiLife]

Woot - there are many good thai women here; it is just that a lot of falang don't know ehere or how to find them.

Richard - you are correct. To treat a woman like this could be considered disrespectful and I wrote this thread for those that need some help... I've known too many who have been scammed and heard of many more. I'm 1 for 5 here and hopefully I've found her now. Don't mean to sound like a cynic, but you wouldn't believe what hard financial times will do to the average person...

[Moonrakers]

Wooooahh.

Are we really supposed to read all of that?

Could be difficult after a few too many bottles of Chang.

How many have you had?

I have moved up in the world from Chang, I'm a Leo man now.

[prefabs]

I was once referred to as a male chauvinist pig and wondered why. Now I have a young, presumably Aussie guy (mate,mate, mate?) who is so calculating that I wonder why I was ever called a MCP.

Hopefully, you will go far in life, young man. You have worked out a Love Life in Thailand strategy which may suit you very well, but I wonder if you maybe need to look closer at the sins of the woman who really f*cked your head up big time.

Oedipus Complex maybe?

[Mossfinn]

Oedipus Complex maybe?

I would look up this rather Daedalian issue, if I were you

[MandM]

Woot - there are many good thai women here; it is just that a lot of falang don't know ehere or how to find them.

so , where do you find your goldiggers at?

[tangqian86]

.....

I can learn some....

[sassienie]

I began reading the OP`s post at 11.30pm tonight.

By 12.20am I had got a third of a way through it, but although I tried so hard to read to the end, I just couldn`t stay awake anymore.

Is there anyway that the OP could post an amended shorter version?

Edited October 26, 2009 by sassienie

[MandM]

I began reading the OP`s post at 11.30pm tonight.

By 12.20am I had got a third of a way through it, but although I tried so hard to read to the end, I just couldn`t stay awake anymore.

Is there anyway that the OP could post an amended shorter version?

condensed version.

your girl may be after your money!

[prefabs]

I began reading the OP`s post at 11.30pm tonight.

By 12.20am I had got a third of a way through it, but although I tried so hard to read to the end, I just couldn`t stay awake anymore.

Is there anyway that the OP could post an amended shorter version?

I'll try and make it short. He is trying to say the following

1. Try before you buy

2. Don't trust any woman with your money

3. Don't trust any woman with your property

4. Don't trust any woman's family

5. Look what happened to him (the OP). A woman came into his life, either before or after birth, and totally f*cked his head and now he cannot have a relationship with a woman or her family. They are all out to get him

[HappyThaiLife]

Hilarious posts, cheers!

Prefabs - How did you change from a MCP to you current self considered state of mind? I think i struck a chord with you...apologies mate. I wrote this with the intention of helping some foreigners...and you may see some comments here that would suggest that. What is your deal here in LOS? Do you live here? Married to a thai?

MandM - Glad you re-quoted Richard. Something is amiss though: "the ones i know are hooking up with upcountry girls" and "farang and farm girls dont meet this criteria" sort of contradict each other. "there are plenty of respectful and financially independent ladies around. yes, but not for the avg farang!" Could someone please describe an average farang for me? I can't.

Now please don't go Freud on me or post your repression theories!

[HappyThaiLife]

Oh...

Prefabs - you missed the theme of this post entirely with you short version points 1 through 4. Trust is something that really shouldn't be taken for granted; it is like respect and must be earned I believe. Would you "trust" a complete stranger after one day, a week, a month, six months? Point 5 is a fabrication on your part and a bit argumentative mate: "A woman came into his life, either before or after birth, and totally f*cked his head and now he cannot have a relationship with a woman or her family. They are all out to get him". I just rejected 4 out of 5 women in 3 years rather than ending up being their ATM. And those foreign men in the LOS that feel the same can understand this I'm sure. You possibly have the perfect scenario here? Care to share it? Or is your MCP syndrome back in top form now and won't allow such open communication?

[sassienie]

The basics to understand:

If you`re an old git, a real gentleman and have a beautiful young girlfriend who appears to love you for what you are, she`s after your money.

If you`re a young naive guy, a real gentleman and have a beautiful girlfriend who appears to love you for what you are, she`s after your money.

If you`re a young 6ft plus guy built like a brick <deleted> house, who has a beautiful young girlfriend and you sometimes slap her around a bit, constantly tell her what would happen if she treats you like a mug and she still stays loyal, as most seem to respect real bastards, than it is really true love.

Edited October 26, 2009 by sassienie

[prefabs]

Hilarious posts, cheers!

Prefabs - How did you change from a MCP to you current self considered state of mind? I think i struck a chord with you...apologies mate. I wrote this with the intention of helping some foreigners...and you may see some comments here that would suggest that. What is your deal here in LOS? Do you live here? Married to a thai?

MandM - Glad you re-quoted Richard. Something is amiss though: "the ones i know are hooking up with upcountry girls" and "farang and farm girls dont meet this criteria" sort of contradict each other. "there are plenty of respectful and financially independent ladies around. yes, but not for the avg farang!" Could someone please describe an average farang for me? I can't.

Now please don't go Freud on me or post your repression theories!

Dunno if I was actually a MCP, just a woman accused me of being one. I guess that age and experience tend to mould one's thoughts.

Helping foreigners? You are one and can't help making an arse of yourself with an OP which rivals some of Fidel Castros speechwriters.

My deal in Thailand? Living a productive happy life in harmony with the Thai people, understanding their culture and problems and also their prejudices.

Thai wife. No, but a relationship which is fulfilling and is respectful to her family and heritage.

I abhor hypocrisy and cant, 2 things I found plentiful in your OP

[HappyThaiLife]

Prefabs - I forgot to mention...your point 5 is also incorrect. I am in a very good relationship and have been for a year now. What does it cost me? A lot...of communication, respect, trust, passion and happiness. That is the main reason for my post here...It worked out so far. I'll let you know all about steps 11 onwards as I feel you need more coaching in this area.

[HappyThaiLife]

Prefabs - I knew it! You haven't moved past relationship... so you don't know about steps 11 onwards. Glad you have found someone; consider yourself lucky mate...as it is a zoo out there. Ever think of tying the knot? Or are you married in another country (as so many foreigners are); many here with two wives...unreal yeah. But wake up man! You have no clue what is in LOS...probably because you haven't been on the scene for awhile and you are 65 yrs old...?

[prefabs]

Prefabs - I knew it! You haven't moved past relationship... so you don't know about steps 11 onwards. Glad you have found someone; consider yourself lucky mate...as it is a zoo out there. Ever think of tying the knot? Or are you married in another country (as so many foreigners are); many here with two wives...unreal yeah. But wake up man! You have no clue what is in LOS...probably because you haven't been on the scene for awhile and you are 65 yrs old...?

You knew what? You know very little. You are not short of confidence, but you sure get things wrong.

I have lived and worked here for more than 10 years(you have 3 years here), coast, city and upcountry and you can say that I have no clue about LOS? Maybe not, I'll take your word for it. Ask your mum if it's OK.

Being with someone for 5 years and staying single mean something to you? Doesn't to us. We just got this way, and we like it. I did not put her through all the shenanigans you propose we should. I should feel pretty shabby if I did that with every woman I went out with. I wonder at your girlfriend's self esteem after going through that obstacle course. Or is she allowed self esteem?

Being on "the scene" must be wonderful, where is it now? As for my age, I will need another 10 years before retiring.

I suggest you get yourself some life experience before you pontificate to your elders

[BigPanda]

If only I didn't need to work, eat, spend time with my loved one, feed my cats and everything else... maybe I would consider wasting my energy on some of these things...

But as for now I Don't have that time or patience, but thank you for your suggestions. I am much better doing things as they go and actually enjoy the time we spend together and try to build something stronger.

As your comments on family, past boyfriends and work you really are disturbed my friend...

Many girls working in Offices end up at nigh working in Pat Pong.

Who cares about her ex ? Foreigner or Thai whats the difference ? and why should she even give you all the details do you tell her how many girls you laid in your life ? Well I don't it's my Past and I respect her Past... If the family ask you for money after the first meeting I hope you run like you should in any country, nothing to do with Thais.

Hope you can find some enjoyable activities some times unless you enjoy doing these things of course

But please don't try to convince yourself that you are trying to help people. If someone follow what you say you'll only ruin their relations.

For yourself and your followers the best test to know if she is a good girl is how long she will take to leave you when you act like this. The sooner the better girl she probably is. If she stays she is probably too stupid or desperate!

[HappyThaiLife]

Prefabs - You are mistaken again... I did not put my partner through all those shenanigans. Read the post again and look at the areas where I mentioned an action that I actually undertook ( about 3 out of 20 ). It was written as a test mate and you fell for it, hook, line and sinker. I did strike a chord with you...is something amiss in your 5 years of happiness?

Apologies, but I do believe you have no clue what sort of relationship offerings are out there in the LOS today; you've been out of the picture for 5 years mate so it is not your fault you are naive to this (scene)... don't take it so personal. You seem to have some mis-givings about this post so either report it or don't read it? I'm sure that there are some falang here that will find something there that will be useful to them. You must understand that in this world today, any written post online, no matter how bizarre, is fair game... what you don't gleam out of it is your deal, to each his own.

ok, now I must point something out to you... you wrote: "Being with someone for 5 years and staying single mean something to you?". That is bizarre; how can you be with someone and be single? You have a wife elsewhere? Thats it, isn't it? Or you just can't commit? How can you consider yourself single when you've been together 5 years??? Interesting deal you have there Mr MCP.

You keep playing the age card mate; do you have issues with getting older? Sounds like it. Does she not want to marry you? You asked her but she is much younger and now you are worried she will grab some younger fella sporting a 6 pack? You are hiding something mate, I can feel it.

[richard_smith237]

<Snip>

Who cares about her ex ? Foreigner or Thai whats the difference ?

<Snip>

IMO - If a Thai woman has had relationships with more than a couple of Western / Non-Thai men then there may be an underlying reason.

There are girls here (some with decent careers) who choose to date only Western guys only - 'The Occupational Farrang Hunters'. They hang out in places where Westerners / Non-Thai's like to hang out to increase their chances of 'catching one'.

If in my home country I had a history of only choosing to date women of a specific race and that race was generally known for having a higher wealth than the locally attainable average, then something is clearly not right. I do have my socioeconomic standards but race does not fit into that. Some girls clearly equate dating a westerner in Thailand to increasing their financial status. This is why I would tend to steer clear of Thai women who have a line of Western or Non-Thai ex's.

Of course this is not always the case - But as generalisations go I think this one is not too far off the mark.

[RAZZELL]

<Snip>

Who cares about her ex ? Foreigner or Thai whats the difference ?

<Snip>

IMO - If a Thai woman has had relationships with more than a couple of Western / Non-Thai men then there may be an underlying reason.

There are girls here (some with decent careers) who choose to date only Western guys only - 'The Occupational Farrang Hunters'. They hang out in places where Westerners / Non-Thai's like to hang out to increase their chances of 'catching one'.

If in my home country I had a history of only choosing to date women of a specific race and that race was generally known for having a higher wealth than the locally attainable average, then something is clearly not right. I do have my socioeconomic standards but race does not fit into that. Some girls clearly equate dating a westerner in Thailand to increasing their financial status. This is why I would tend to steer clear of Thai women who have a line of Western or Non-Thai ex's.

Of course this is not always the case - But as generalisations go I think this one is not too far off the mark.

Mmm...what about girls who date Japanese guys? Or Thai guys with flash cars

RAZZ

[HappyThaiLife]

<Snip>

Who cares about her ex ? Foreigner or Thai whats the difference ?

<Snip>

IMO - If a Thai woman has had relationships with more than a couple of Western / Non-Thai men then there may be an underlying reason.

There are girls here (some with decent careers) who choose to date only Western guys only - 'The Occupational Farrang Hunters'. They hang out in places where Westerners / Non-Thai's like to hang out to increase their chances of 'catching one'.

If in my home country I had a history of only choosing to date women of a specific race and that race was generally known for having a higher wealth than the locally attainable average, then something is clearly not right. I do have my socioeconomic standards but race does not fit into that. Some girls clearly equate dating a westerner in Thailand to increasing their financial status. This is why I would tend to steer clear of Thai women who have a line of Western or Non-Thai ex's.

Of course this is not always the case - But as generalisations go I think this one is not too far off the mark.

You are spot on Richard... I got "caught" by one farang hunter type who liked my wallet...she had a decent career.

[HappyThaiLife]

If only I didn't need to work, eat, spend time with my loved one, feed my cats and everything else... maybe I would consider wasting my energy on some of these things...

But as for now I Don't have that time or patience, but thank you for your suggestions. I am much better doing things as they go and actually enjoy the time we spend together and try to build something stronger.

As your comments on family, past boyfriends and work you really are disturbed my friend...

Many girls working in Offices end up at nigh working in Pat Pong.

Who cares about her ex ? Foreigner or Thai whats the difference ? and why should she even give you all the details do you tell her how many girls you laid in your life ? Well I don't it's my Past and I respect her Past... If the family ask you for money after the first meeting I hope you run like you should in any country, nothing to do with Thais.

Hope you can find some enjoyable activities some times unless you enjoy doing these things of course

But please don't try to convince yourself that you are trying to help people. If someone follow what you say you'll only ruin their relations.

For yourself and your followers the best test to know if she is a good girl is how long she will take to leave you when you act like this. The sooner the better girl she probably is. If she stays she is probably too stupid or desperate!

Family, past boyfriends? You should read about what some falang have to deal with wrt extended family and then you may change your tune. Of course you should wonder about her most recent ex and the one before. Look for a pattern mate...(read Richard's response)

I'm disturbed? Cheers for that! I'll ruin their relations? Are you for real mate? Convince myself that I am helping people? Let me re-iterate for you...gleam what you may from this post; you are naive about the current "scene" because you are in a loving relationship now...for how long? Put yourself in a single position tomorrow...go out and find a gal...then report back what you have found.

Re-iteration #2, did I say that I did all these things? Read the post mate...