Did I Make Her Lose Face?

[neverdie]

Well said timmy, too much sensitivity is bad for a man.

[mrtoad]

you and who you have to pay for.

I think there is some irony in this statement considering he was talking about his 100's conquests withh BG's and LB's in another thread.

[neverdie]

you and who you have to pay for.

I think there is some irony in this statement considering he was talking about his 100's conquests withh BG's and LB's in another thread.

I especially like the way you ANALise what people have to say

[mrtoad]

you and who you have to pay for.

I think there is some irony in this statement considering he was talking about his 100's conquests withh BG's and LB's in another thread.

I especially like the way you ANALise what people have to say

Well, anal is probably the correct word around in these parts because all the shit spouted.

[neverdie]

you left out the word "heads" which needs to be inserted before spouted.

edit my bad spelling

Edited November 3, 2009 by neverdie

[sanook2me]

"

So there's me at Wat Nong Wang temple in Khon Kaen on a Sunday evening with the monks chanting and everybody in black and me sporting a Norwich City football shirt, Nike shorts and Reeboks feeling like a right c#nt.

Norwich City fan in Khon Kaen home from home then tractor boy

Did you start your own chant at the wat...."Isaan till we die!"

[mizzi39]

What doesn't add up between this thread and my ladyboy posts? I didn't get a good look at all of them and one of them actually did look sort of masculine, could have been a ladyboy. I don't really care, my girlfriend was by far the most attractive girl in the bunch so I didn't see it as 'oh boy me and 8 girls' I just saw it as 'oh fk i'm going to be sitting alone drinking beer while they all talk in Thai the whole time. Doesn't sound like fun to me. Me and 2-3 girls is fun - me and 8? Thats a bit much I think.

In recent posts you have said that you have been here a fairly long time and have been around the block, you then say in this thread you say you don't know anything about Loy Kratong.

Ya so what. I dont immerse myself in the culture. Tend to hang out with Thai girls and other Farang - eat western food and speak english. Sorry I'm not living in a hut in Isaan and eating grasshoppers like you.

Hey watch what you say, not all of us who live in Issan eat grasshoppers, nor are we so old and gray that we need wives who also front as our live in nurses.

Now back to your OP. I don't think that being ignorant to Loy Kratong makes you an ignorant person or even ignorant to Thai culture, hel_l there are so many Thai holidays here, i stopped keeping count a long time ago.

As far as your GF losing face? How well do you know her? if i tell my wife that i do not feel like hanging out with her and her friends for whatever reason, then this is respected, and nobody loses face. I never feel obligated to pick up a big tab either, so talk it out with your GF. Communication is your friend!

[DegenFarang]

So has she arrived home yet?

She arrived about three minutes after I posted she would arrive.

[DegenFarang]

probably going to a park is not so much fun for them as they have had Loy Kratong every year its probably boring for them.....I'm sure for a gaggle of young(20s?) girls shopping around the night plaza sounds more fun than being surrounded by lots of little kids running around a park....

This is what she said when we talked about it last night. Along with apologizing over and over again for not spending the night with me as we had planned. I said something somebody suggested here like 'we had plans for you and me, and you and me and your sister is fine but you and me and her and 6 friends isn't very romantic'.

But she said going to the Park was boring, I never saw it that was as I've never done it but she probably has a bunch of times so I guess I understand a bit more now.

And I'm not going to reply to any more of you burnt out cynics talking about her and my wallet. She's never once asked me for money, she has her own job and pays for lots of stuff for me without me asking - I just pick up the tab when we go to expensive places (that I choose to go to). When we go for cheap Thai food she is just as likely to pay as I am. When I tag along with her to go clothes shopping she pays for her own clothes 100% of the time. If she is using me for money then she is setting me up for a big score down the road, she certainly isn't getting much out of me now.

Edited November 3, 2009 by DegenFarang

[DegenFarang]

Then today she's angry at you and hang up ??

Let her cool down, and then have a serious talk with her.

I would seriously questioned her love and sinserity.

Time to set down some groud rules at the home base.

You misread the thread. She was never angry and never hung up. Her battery died when I was calling and she called me back within ten minutes on a friends phone. I confirmed her battery was dead when I saw her about ten minutes later.

When I saw her she said she 'understands me' and was not angry. She then apologized later in the night as I mentioned above.

[DegenFarang]

"I dont mind us changing the plans slightly and having your sister join us, but Im not looking forward to going out with 8 strangers. Id have liked it to be us, but etc etc"

You try doing this over the sound of 8 women all yammering at each other in Thai an then instantly jumping into Taxi's.

While we were walking with her and her sister I asked where we were going and got quick half answers before her sister kept yammering away in Thai and taking her attention away from me. I didn't want to stop in the road and scream HEY BITCHES WHAT THE fuc_k IS GOING ON THE PARK IS THE OTHER WAY - I guess I could have though. I try to be like the Thai's and accept changing plans and go with the flow, not making waves or causing people to lose face.

[DegenFarang]

you and who you have to pay for.

I think there is some irony in this statement considering he was talking about his 100's conquests withh BG's and LB's in another thread.

I wouldn't consider paying a bar girl for sex a conquest, but whatever. Never paid for a ladyboy to my knowledge.

How was your boiled rice soup this morning?

[DegenFarang]

As far as your GF losing face? How well do you know her? if i tell my wife that i do not feel like hanging out with her and her friends for whatever reason, then this is respected, and nobody loses face. I never feel obligated to pick up a big tab either, so talk it out with your GF. Communication is your friend!

Know her pretty well but she typically doesn't hang out with many friends. Usually just her sister and one other friend. I don't even know if she knew most of these girls. So this situation had never come up for us before.

And I would not have felt obligated to pick up the tab - I'm so sorry I ever even put that in my OP. They all have jobs, they would not have expected me to pay - I just would have, thats how I am. I know I make far more every month than all of them combined and 300 or 400 baht per person would have been a lot of money to them.

No obligations. My girlfriend does not view me as an ATM. I have been with plenty of women who have and believe me I can tell the difference.

[mrtoad]

you and who you have to pay for.

I think there is some irony in this statement considering he was talking about his 100's conquests withh BG's and LB's in another thread.

I wouldn't consider paying a bar girl for sex a conquest, but whatever. Never paid for a ladyboy to my knowledge.

How was your boiled rice soup this morning?

It was good thanks, along with my bottle of Chang.

[whistleblower]

As far as your GF losing face? How well do you know her? if i tell my wife that i do not feel like hanging out with her and her friends for whatever reason, then this is respected, and nobody loses face. I never feel obligated to pick up a big tab either, so talk it out with your GF. Communication is your friend!

Know her pretty well but she typically doesn't hang out with many friends. Usually just her sister and one other friend. I don't even know if she knew most of these girls. So this situation had never come up for us before.

And I would not have felt obligated to pick up the tab - I'm so sorry I ever even put that in my OP. They all have jobs, they would not have expected me to pay - I just would have, thats how I am. I know I make far more every month than all of them combined and 300 or 400 baht per person would have been a lot of money to them.

No obligations. My girlfriend does not view me as an ATM. I have been with plenty of women who have and believe me I can tell the difference.

She may not view you as an ATM, but she obviously doesnt view you as a person. This whole thread was about you making her lose face.

Tell me, if you were dating a girl in your own country, arranged a nice evening out and she changed her plans to go out with her mates rather than her boyfriend, what would you do?

When in a mixed cultural relationship it should be a 50/50 split. (i dont mean money here) Losing face in Thailand is often used by a thai to gety what they want.

Instead of asking the 'did i make her lose face' question, i would be asking myself 'do i want to be with a women who would prefer to ruin our night out and go out with her friends at the drop of a hat' By choosing her friends its evident shed rather be with them than enjoy a romantic date with you!

[MiG16]

alright, lets keep this on topic shall we?

speaking of which - Ill remember to keep my views to myself. why is it that any view somebody expresses has to be associated with their gender?

and to those that say men do not communicate. its all #OBSCENE language CENSORED by myself#. you think its bad form to communicate directly with the person you wish to question, but its ok to ask a board full of strangers about what your GF may or may not feel, and on top of that have to put up with insulting speculations that some come up with.

Id be a woman, rather than a man, and communicate directly with my BF anyday

[mrtoad]

alright, lets keep this on topic shall we?

speaking of which - Ill remember to keep my views to myself. why is it that any view somebody expresses has to be associated with their gender?

and to those that say men do not communicate. its all #OBSCENE language CENSORED by myself#. you think its bad form to communicate directly with the person you wish to question, but its ok to ask a board full of strangers about what your GF may or may not feel, and on top of that have to put up with insulting speculations that some come up with.

Id be a woman, rather than a man, and communicate directly with my BF anyday

[Jimjim]

I'm not sure going to Suan Lum and getting shitfaced is really an honest celebration of Loy Krathong, so I do not think it's a big deal that you did not go with her for that. Also, if you were worried about the bill, you could have just have just acted like you had lost your wallet, ha ha. But anyway, I do not think this is a big deal at all. You did what you wanted, and I think it was fine.

[Kadafi]

now her pretty well but she typically doesn't hang out with many friends. Usually just her sister and one other friend. I don't even know if she knew most of these girls. So this situation had never come up for us before.

And I would not have felt obligated to pick up the tab - I'm so sorry I ever even put that in my OP. They all have jobs, they would not have expected me to pay - I just would have, thats how I am. I know I make far more every month than all of them combined and 300 or 400 baht per person would have been a lot of money to them.

No obligations. My girlfriend does not view me as an ATM. I have been with plenty of women who have and believe me I can tell the difference.

Of course you are not an atm lol.

You say your girlfriend and friends work? they all went out till the early hours this morning getting pissed so i doubt they have a daytime job? maybe work nights? wonder what kind of ''work'' that might do...

[neverdie]

alright, lets keep this on topic shall we?

speaking of which - Ill remember to keep my views to myself. why is it that any view somebody expresses has to be associated with their gender?

and to those that say men do not communicate. its all #OBSCENE language CENSORED by myself#. you think its bad form to communicate directly with the person you wish to question, but its ok to ask a board full of strangers about what your GF may or may not feel, and on top of that have to put up with insulting speculations that some come up with.

Id be a woman, rather than a man, and communicate directly with my BF anyday

You've got me scratching my head with this one

why on earth would you start keeping your views to yourself, now? My point about gender was a simple one, when it comes to 'intimate communciation' men arnt as good at it as women are, actually some of us avoid it at all costs. Anyway, keep ur suggestions coming and if you need anything heavy lifted, give me a call.

[mrtoad]

alright, lets keep this on topic shall we?

speaking of which - Ill remember to keep my views to myself. why is it that any view somebody expresses has to be associated with their gender?

and to those that say men do not communicate. its all #OBSCENE language CENSORED by myself#. you think its bad form to communicate directly with the person you wish to question, but its ok to ask a board full of strangers about what your GF may or may not feel, and on top of that have to put up with insulting speculations that some come up with.

Id be a woman, rather than a man, and communicate directly with my BF anyday

You've got me scratching my head with this one

why on earth would you start keeping your views to yourself, now? My point about gender was a simple one, when it comes to 'intimate communciation' men arnt as good at it as women are, actually some of us avoid it at all costs. Anyway, keep ur suggestions coming and if you need anything heavy lifted, give me a call.

[MiG16]

LOL I try neverdie

but those that know me will also know its impossible for me to not express my views

but why would I not on this particular thread? cos when I do then its branded as - women constantly want to have emotional talk.

excuse moi?

simply telling your GF that you no longer want to tag along on the new plan because you dont feel comfortable going with a crowd of 8 strangers - in my opinion - has no emotional sentiment to it. it is purely an honest expression of your reasoning.

anyhow .....im contravening my own decision to not comment

[petermik]

She should have spent Loy Kratong with you.

She wanted to, she was very upset that I didn't go. Her sister is just a spazz case and changes her mind all the time and pulls this kind of crap at the last minute constantly. My girlfriend is passive and doesn't like to make waves.

You guys are to cynical. It is possible to have a relationship with a Thai woman who doesn't have bad motives you know? Sorry you haven't been lucky enough to find one. Believe me I've been in my fair share of relationships with terrible women also, been around the block so to speak. She wasn't pulling any shady moves. I'm certain she is sitting somewhere slouching and depressed right now because I'm not with her.

I would have done exactly the same-MOST of us guys would have-nuff said

[mrtoad]

LOL I try neverdie

but those that know me will also know its impossible for me to not express my views

but why would I not on this particular thread? cos when I do then its branded as - women constantly want to have emotional talk.

excuse moi?

simply telling your GF that you no longer want to tag along on the new plan because you dont feel comfortable going with a crowd of 8 strangers - in my opinion - has no emotional sentiment to it. it is purely an honest expression of your reasoning.

anyhow .....im contravening my own decision to not comment

Come on Mig, give us an opinion -did the OP lose face, or did he make his GF loose face?

Okay, I'm back off to my hut here in the country to enjoy some deep fried insects.

[neverdie]

Mig,i was trying to communicate with you, trying to get you to express your true feelings on the issue, bring some emotion into the debate, hold on a sec, I just want to have a little cry this is touchy touchy communication thing is fun.....can we have sex now?

Edited November 3, 2009 by neverdie

[TAWP]

She lost face, but I would have done the same thing you did. I would have been upset that we end up going to a different location and with people I didn't know - without me being involved in the process of deciding this.

Sounds like you had plans with your girlfriend and those plans got tossed out without you even realizing it.

Many years ago (before married) I went with GF to what I thought was going to be some market shopping. When we turned up it was a place I had very clearly told her I never want to visit here in Thailand, a thai-christian church. As we already had arrive and her friends was there I keeped my cool but I think she started to suspect my feelings over the event from the small things as refusing to hold hands when walking etc and during the trip back in the car with her friends I told her what I felt, without any shouting or hard words and was still polite to her friends driving us back.

After an argument when we came home and her crying and asking for forgiveness (her friends basically put it into her head that any non-christian would burn in hel_l and it was her duty to save the ones she loved) she learned her lesson and never did that one again atleast.

Oh, and I was never asked to pick up any tab of any kind.

But I have been out with friends that kinda assumed I would pay for them too. I just inform them that I am poor and broke and can pay my part, but...

They usually get the drift and learn from then on. And if they are friends and not 'gold'-diggers (party wise, not love) they will accept it and not become weird.

Added: Oh, and to OP: You did the right thing. Even if I would have asked her right there and then if she had planned this all along and say 'I would thought it was just us, but you go out and have fun' to really drive it home that she did infact brake the meaning of Loy Krathong.

Edited November 3, 2009 by TAWP

[petermik]

Honey, are we coming back home after sports..

Yes...

Erh, no after sports gets taken to fancy dancy disco in old flip flops and shorts!

Been there done that.

"My mom's just called. The neighbour's died. Can we pick mum up?"

So there's me at Wat Nong Wang temple in Khon Kaen on a Sunday evening with the monks chanting and everybody in black and me sporting a Norwich City football shirt, Nike shorts and Reeboks feeling like a right c#nt.

Wherever you were wearing a Norwich City shirt I guess this would apply(c*nt)--oops sorry!!!!!!!!!!

[mrtoad]

Mig,i was trying to communicate with you, trying to get you to express your true feelings on the issue, bring some emotion into the debate, hold on a sec, I just want to have a little cry this is touchy touchy communication thing is fun.....can we have sex now?

I don't think that Mig does "short" flings.

Edited November 3, 2009 by mrtoad

[neverdie]

Mig,i was trying to communicate with you, trying to get you to express your true feelings on the issue, bring some emotion into the debate, hold on a sec, I just want to have a little cry this is touchy touchy communication thing is fun.....can we have sex now?

I don't think that Mig does "short" flings.

Oi, who said anything about it being short ...... I was going to treat her to 90 seconds of the most passionate sex i can handle

[mrtoad]

Mig,i was trying to communicate with you, trying to get you to express your true feelings on the issue, bring some emotion into the debate, hold on a sec, I just want to have a little cry this is touchy touchy communication thing is fun.....can we have sex now?

I don't think that Mig does "short" flings.

Oi, who said anything about it being short ...... I was going to treat her to 90 seconds of the most passionate sex i can handle

That sounds like long term commitment. Don't forget to buy her chocolates though.