Why I Moved To Thailand 5 Years Ago And Why I Stay!

[maccaroni man]

Traffic Laws

I like to drive and I like to have an open road which means many times I am driving over the speed limit It’s not driving fast I like, it is just the fact I don’t like to be in traffic, I feel unsafe following cars. Of course this means many speeding tickets in the USA and much money and time going to driving class. I have been driving for over 35 years with no accidents I believe that I drive very safe, fast does not mean reckless.

In Thailand I get stopped many times, my girl will give the cop the equivalent of 3 USD and we are on our way. How nice is that?

I also like to have drinks sometime when I am go out, here you don’t have to worry about a DUI if you get stopped pay your money and go.

By the way did you know it is more dangerous to walk drunk than it is to drive drunk?

During my most recent visit my girl and I got stopped by a real asshol_e cop and he gave me a ticket for not moving over a lane? What kind of bullshit is that 220 USD!? He also threw in a seat belt ticket for 116 USD. Seat belt laws how foolish to make people wear seat belts, I can drive my motorcycle without a helmet in Florida but if I am surrounded by 5000 lbs of metal I have to wear a seat belt.

How about all those kids riding school buses, where are those seat belts? It is just another way for communities to raise money it has nothing to do with anyone watching out for you. Watch out for yourself and your family. I don’t need the government interfering in my personal life and preferences!

It is more dangerous to drive in Thailand that is for sure, so it becomes important to take safety measures while on the road. The most important being whenever possible DO NOT DRIVE AT NIGHT Thai’s feel as though driving with lights on is optional!

No I did not know that it is more dangerous to walk drunk than to drive drunk, niether do I believe it. Please show us the evidence, I think it may come down a case of "lies, dam_n lies and statistics"

Foolish laws like compulsory seat belt wearing, random breath testing, red light and speed cameras, lower speed limits, have halved the road toll in many western countries in the last thirty years. The USA, because of the reluctance to interfere with freedom of choice, or maybe a higher disregard of road safety laws, has lagged even Thailand figures below are taken fom an Australian goverment publication entitled road deaths (OECD) per 100,000 pop...1990-2007 these are some of the countries:

Country 1990 2007

UK 9.4 5.0

Netherlands 9.2 4.3

Switzerland 13.9 5.1

Australia 13.7 6.3

USA 17.9 13.6

OECD med. 13.9 7.8

I couldn't find figures covering the same period for Thailand, but 1995 was 28/100,000 and 2002 was 20.9 per 100,000. Very high, but even that is a better rate of decline than the USA.

I think many of us found it a pain in the arse when we first had to belt up/count drinks/slow down, but we got used to it and thousands of families have escaped the grief of losing a loved one. A small price to pay, lets hope things change for the better in both Thailand and the USA, it really is easy, most countries have already done it.

I think if people stopped for a second a gave it a good think over they would find that the reason most "saftey Laws" have been put in place is not becuase of the govt caring but becuase the insurance companies lobby for the laws to cut their losses. there were no speed limtis in the usa until after ww2. the insurance companies pushed for that and since then they have been the driving force behind most safty related laws, anything that cost them money they will fight to have changed or banned.

[carmine]

this is of course just a personal opinion, but, regarding traffic laws, I don't agree. There are so many road accidents in Thailand, a bit tougher laws wouldn't be that bad. I recently read somewhere that Asia makes up about 16% of the worlds (road) traffic, but 60% of all deadly road accidents happen here. I think the numbers speak for themselves.

I can't speak for other countries in Asia. I can say from my own experience living in LOS, that there is a much less confrontational "in you face" attitude, with regard to driving, than in USA. When I lived in Phoenix and SW Florida, it was getting so I would see at least one wreck every day. In my 5 years living in a NE Thai city, I have only seen a handful of accidents. Almost never, have I seen the aggressive driving that is common in USA. I feel relatively safe riding a motorcycle here, which I would never consider doing back home. The stats on road fatalities are no doubt high in Asia due to quite inadequate EMS coverage and poor response times, where accidents do occur.

Only seen a handful of accidents. Almost never seen agressive driving. Road fatalities no doubt high.

Come to Samui my friend, a whole new world awaits

[reenatinnakor]

No I did not know that it is more dangerous to walk drunk than to drive drunk, niether do I believe it. Please show us the evidence, I think it may come down a case of "lies, dam_n lies and statistics"

Foolish laws like compulsory seat belt wearing, random breath testing, red light and speed cameras, lower speed limits, have halved the road toll in many western countries in the last thirty years.

So how can it be lies damned lies and statistics for something you dont believe is true and yet it is not the same lies damned lies and statistics for something in you believe is true??!!

Random breath testing and not going through a red light maybe.....but the others are all government revenue generating measures and are purely that, they are there to generate revenue for the govt, they dont care for your or my safety. Esp with speed cameras and the non use of mobile phones. There's been no study on this planet that has ever proved categorically speed cameras reduce accidents, in fact it probably causes more accidents due to sudden braking and cars slowing down where they know the cameras are and then speeding up again when the camera has passed.

The same with cell phones, in the UK i think since cell phones have been invented there's probably been about 5 cases where it has has been fatal and purely due because of the cell phone, what they hide is the fact surrounding it, maybe the child just jumped out from nowhere and the person happened to be on the cell phone, even if the person was fully attentive there would have been no chance. What about the parent not holding the childs hand? Why are they not prosecuted if the govt was really concerned about our safety?

Speed camera's. I had 27 points at one time, thats 3 bans!! But i spread them across my mother, father and brothers license and my own so i didnt get a ban. Most of them were pathetic doing 35 in a 30 zone at 3am in the morning when even rabbits were asleep and couldnt be harmed. So i just paid the 60 quid fine and sent in family members licenses for them to endorse. if they were that concerned about safety and not about the money, they would have asked my mother why a 62 year old lady was driving a toyota supra at 35mph at 3am!! off course they dont ask, they have already got the money.

[jackr]

well if you are not prepared to report it in the correct procedure as advised then take your issues to [email protected] & refrain from hijacking threads with your problem with women.

[Ulysses G.]

So basically he contradicts himself and refuses to acknowledge that the difference lies not in the women (Thai vs. Western), but in his dollar power (not enough in the US, but satisfactory in a poor country like Thailand).

The point is that many women are perfectly willing to base a relationship on finances. Of course it costs more in richer countries.

[Ulysses G.]

So you like to drink and girls 26 years younger than you ....... You sound like any random sexpat to me.

Any random man if you want to get honest.

[neverdie]

I have spent exactly ywo nights in jail on two different occasions for unbelievably stupid reasons. In both cases the charges were dropped.

As I said in my post I really do like the Law, and I have spent time in Law school so it was quite easy to explain to the judge that the police were in error,

The US has 1 per cent of its people in prison the highest percentage of any country in the world.

The reason for this is simple!

Too many stupid laws like the drug laws especially pertaining to pot. As a result jails are full and we end up giving release to felons who get out and continue to commit offenses.

The most disgusting of these are child molesters.

1. I am sure you did.

2. No doubt they were .

3. I should of guessed.

[peanut]

So basically he contradicts himself and refuses to acknowledge that the difference lies not in the women (Thai vs. Western), but in his dollar power (not enough in the US, but satisfactory in a poor country like Thailand).

The point is that many women are perfectly willing to base a relationship on finances. Of course it costs more in richer countries.

No that's not the point actually, even though it's true. In his first post the OP was trying to demonstrate how Thai women are so much better because they love him even though he's old, unlike the materialistic westerners. I think the second post I quoted proves how wrong he was.

[JSixpack]

. . . there a love of the individual can and in my case really did develop.

Without a doubt I know my girl loves me and my family as I have taken her to USA on numerpus occasions and spent much time with my sons ( all older than she) and my parents.

Also I think in any country there are reasons why people get together so big deal if it is for money I dont care.

Not enough evidence. Some years ago an English bloke took his Thai wife to England and she met the family etc. only to imprison him in the jungle later and nearly starve him to death.

To know without a doubt, you have to cut off the money you're paying her and her family every month. How much is it? Why be secretive about that particular price?

Tell her your investments went sour and she'll have to get a job. A Thai woman in love will support her man.

Many a besotted old fool has found that he does care and paying a mere rental wife/girlfriend is in fact a "big deal" when (realistic scenarios that have often happened follow here)

• the money dries up
  
• another man offers her more money
  
• you find she's got a Thai man on the side for a "real" relationship (checked out all those "brothers" and "cousins"? Know where every satang of that money is going?)
  
• she gets the ATM pin numbers and loots your accounts
  
• she arranges a robbery w/ some confederates
  
• she decides to finish you off and get as much money as possible as quickly as possible; maybe just not call the ambulance when you really need it . . . .
  

Personally I wouldn't live w/ anyone I know is just hanging there for the money, pretending all this "feeling," while I could return home at any time to find my place looted--or worse. Better just to go short time as needed. Call it what it really is.

[mickba]

..............................As I said in my post I really do like the Law, and I have spent time in Law school

Most people who spend time studying law are, or necessarily become, pedants. You accused some posters of being unable to understand English. Yet I haven't found your post apologising for your somewhat blatant "mistake" in completely misrepresenting what you had previously said about DUI and the safeness/dangers of walking vs driving drunk.

Two posters have pointed out your "error", but I have been unable to find your acknowlement. Perhaps I missed it, in which case I apologise.

[mickba]

.......................sorry I find it easier to copy and paste than to use the quote functions..................................................

You may find it easier not to follow the norm, but you and others on this page make it more difficult for others to follow your post.

Sorry, but I (generally) find it easier to skip past such posts.

[eek]

. . . there a love of the individual can and in my case really did develop.

Without a doubt I know my girl loves me and my family as I have taken her to USA on numerpus occasions and spent much time with my sons ( all older than she) and my parents.

Also I think in any country there are reasons why people get together so big deal if it is for money I dont care.

Not enough evidence. Some years ago an English bloke took his Thai wife to England and she met the family etc. only to imprison him in the jungle later and nearly starve him to death.

To know without a doubt, you have to cut off the money you're paying her and her family every month. How much is it? Why be secretive about that particular price?

Tell her your investments went sour and she'll have to get a job. A Thai woman in love will support her man.

Many a besotted old fool has found that he does care and paying a mere rental wife/girlfriend is in fact a "big deal" when (realistic scenarios that have often happened follow here)

• the money dries up
  
• another man offers her more money
  
• you find she's got a Thai man on the side for a "real" relationship (checked out all those "brothers" and "cousins"? Know where every satang of that money is going?)
  
• she gets the ATM pin numbers and loots your accounts
  
• she arranges a robbery w/ some confederates
  
• she decides to finish you off and get as much money as possible as quickly as possible; maybe just not call the ambulance when you really need it . . . .
  

Personally I wouldn't live w/ anyone I know is just hanging there for the money, pretending all this "feeling," while I could return home at any time to find my place looted--or worse. Better just to go short time as needed. Call it what it really is.

I also wonder about large age differences where say in 20 years time where the woman a guy who got together when she is very young, is then around 40-45 and the guy is around 65-70 or more.. if the relationship is not based on love, even if the money hasnt dried up..will she really be happy (or willing) to start taking care of an old man? Particularly if she is still attractive and is getting attention from men her own age. I realise it DOES work..ok..but i cant help but wonder about the majority. Do the guys ever worry about that? Or they just think it will pan out ok..or just think about the now? How are they going to feel in their old age if their much younger wife is not interested in him...and other factors. Or is the possibility that she will leave him or take on a lover just a given?

[dumbnewbie]

Yeah, the same questions have occurred to me while reading through this thread.

Does anyone know the general track record of such marriages? Do they suffer a higher divorce/failure rate compared to more typical marriages (either in Thailand or Western countries) where the partners are of the same ethnicity/nationality and closer in age and socio-economic status?

Would having/raising kids together make a difference? Would having a common language at a very high level make a difference?

And what is the divorce rate in Thailand? How 'bout other countries? In the US it's supposed to be ~50%, but I think that means 50% of marriages end in divorce, which is different from 50% of first time marriages (and I haven't heard what that rate is).

[dumbnewbie]

I'm not specificly refering to the OP ..... The problem is that the old people you refer to DO know it, but they make excuses and rationalisations about it convincing themselves that it's ok. How many times do you hear .... Well Thai girls don't look at age like westerners ! LOL ...... They are going after poor young girls who need the stability enough to put up with the situation and they and everyone else knows it. The cultural excuse falls on deaf ears with me, it would be like saying it's ok to rape a woman because her husband commited some crime because your in an area that follows those muslim laws. NO girl grows up and dreams of being 20 something and marrying some guy of retirement age, they only settle for it or out of desperation or look for it at some point. There are a lot of sleazy things in the world that are wrong but legal and this is just another one. If it were really true that Thai girls didn't care you would see educated, well off, Thai girls with those same men just as often, and you don't.

You make some good points, but do you really think these relationships are "wrong" and analogous to Islamic shariah punishments?

You make it sound like the girls are innocent victims being preyed upon, or "raped" to use your word, when it's usually these girls who are throwing themselves at any rich guy (which they take most Westerners to be). There's no need for a Western guy to "go after" poor young girls. Isn't it at least as accurate to say the girls are going after poor, naive older guys who need the attention, sex and ego-boost enough to pay for it? No guy grows up dreaming of having to pay for a semblance of love and affection from a woman he finds attractive.

Would you have the same moral outrage if such a girl married an older, richer Thai guy? What if a poor girl in a Western country (they exist, you know) married an older, richer Western man? Cause for outrage? Akin to rape? I think not.

Maybe it's the racial aspect that subconsciously causes so much offense? Would you be as outraged if a poor white girl married a richer, older Asian (or Arab, or African, whatever) man?

I really don't see the problem. Please explain it to me.

[dumbnewbie]

...BTW..in large part the thai bar girl industry is perpetuated by farang seeking paid for-sexual favours, thus exploiting the bg's...

Sorry, but this is inaccurate. The vast majority of prostitution in Thailand is "perpetuated" by Thai men, followed by other Asian men (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc.). Farang are simply the most visible, because of racial differences, and therefor catch all the flack from ignorant, politically-correct sex-hating religious prudes and man-hating radical feminists.

[bina]

Would having/raising kids together make a difference

tends to create problems in my opinion; although it would have been nice to have a child from my 'new' husband, i could foresee many a problem if we did as far as child care (kibbutz life, at that!!), parental expectations (mine his, and the grandparents on both sides of oceans), punishment(how , how much, and why), education (even in same culture there are problems here, cross culture tends to excacerbate) , child behaviour (village thais dont know much about learning disabilities, phsychological trauma, handicap care, anything ,in short that could be something that could affect your child)-- i say this after trying to explain what dyslexia is (my three from former), various and sundry learning disabilities, asthma (properly treated, no problems but needs good followup,not just, take a puff of inhalor ), even basics like cultural expectations in the country u are living in (how to deal with sick child), religious differences (here they are major),the list is endless. however, speaking the language certainly helps in trying to explain.

if i look at it frmo my own experience: former husband: israeli kibbutznik, general same ethnic origins, jewish secular-- but oh, the fights we had about the kids, even now: im still very american (except to americans of course) and very jewish parents from new york left over hippie type laid back.... opposite of gung ho competetive spartan father.

speaking the language: even when speaking, using the same words but the cultural nuances implied are often missed.

it is possible that second marriages work out better when cross cultural (or after a LT relationship previoius) as you/or partner are willing to compromise on things that in previous relatiounship didnt want to do. i see many many arranged marriages here and they for the most part actually work out since the partners that were chosen fit the same socioeconomic status, same background, and most likely want the same things from life. if both partners know what they want from each other, no surprise expectations, it doesnt matter the age or money. but the key is that most partners must be on the same page with what they expect, and then meet the expectations. someone who wants a good sophisticated conversation partner certainly wont choose a bannork guy from a village that never went past grade school (my hubby) ; someone who wants a warm, steady family stay at home guy, who prefers the simple life and sees things as they really are, that same village guy might fit (like i found). same for the girls. when i want witty conversation i call one of my sarcastic girlfriends for a chat. )

age: hubby 10 yrs younger then me practicaly to the day, neither of us great lookers, both of us imagine the other without teeth, bent over with a cane, wrinkly --- when i ask him how i will eat, he says he will chew the food for me first....

(its my birthday today i can write about ageing women with wrinkles and grey hair... and it happens to all of us)...

the plus side is that we both enjoy 'bettering ' ourselves. id ont want husband to stay as sweet ignorant bannork boy, but it doesnt threaten me that he is teaching himself chemistryt through the internet. i dont think that will make him suddenly want to find a young nubile thai girl, since i also make sure to learn stuff that he is interested in too (muey thai, godhelp me i even sat through the King's tournament muey thai!!)...

i digress,

wel off to work nite shift.........

bina

israel

[mickba]

I also wonder about large age differences where say in 20 years time where the woman a guy who got together when she is very young, is then around 40-45 and the guy is around 65-70 or more.. ................

Nothing like stating the blinkin' obvious eh?

Of course they worry, that's why they're stupid enough to try to nail her feet to the floor by marrying her and, worse still, having children who will be looking for money for university when they're...........

Yes I know it works the other way too and the Thai ladies lure them into it, but they're just looking for the big pay day.

Sorry, but I do think they all have the same motivation, whether they are of the bar or not.

Just see it for what it is. They are sellers and we are potential buyers. If you need it dressing up as anything different they'll be happy to oblige. As long as it's legal, why the big fret about age difference?

[Ulysses G.]

...BTW..in large part the thai bar girl industry is perpetuated by farang seeking paid for-sexual favours, thus exploiting the bg's...

Sorry, but this is inaccurate. The vast majority of prostitution in Thailand is "perpetuated" by Thai men, followed by other Asian men (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc.). Farang are simply the most visible, because of racial differences, and therefor catch all the flack from ignorant, politically-correct sex-hating religious prudes and man-hating radical feminists.

Excellent post. "dumbnewbie" ain't so dumb!

[JSixpack]

I also wonder about large age differences where say in 20 years time where the woman a guy who got together when she is very young, is then around 40-45 and the guy is around 65-70 or more.. ................

Nothing like stating the blinkin' obvious eh?

Of course they worry, that's why they're stupid enough to try to nail her feet to the floor by marrying her and, worse still, having children who will be looking for money for university when they're...........

Yes I know it works the other way too and the Thai ladies lure them into it, but they're just looking for the big pay day.

Sorry, but I do think they all have the same motivation, whether they are of the bar or not.

Just see it for what it is. They are sellers and we are potential buyers. If you need it dressing up as anything different they'll be happy to oblige. As long as it's legal, why the big fret about age difference?

The problem is that although the ladies are always well aware that the transaction is merely financial--and always looking to better their deal--the men, poor things, quickly forget and fall in love. Then they can't see it for what it really is. (That's exactly what happened to the OP.) Hence they are so easily misled. As just one of countless examples, I know a case right now where a besotted old fool has not the slightest idea that his own money is being used to rent the house next door in which her Thai husband. lives.

[Petesear]

No I did not know that it is more dangerous to walk drunk than to drive drunk, niether do I believe it. Please show us the evidence, I think it may come down a case of "lies, dam_n lies and statistics"

Foolish laws like compulsory seat belt wearing, random breath testing, red light and speed cameras, lower speed limits, have halved the road toll in many western countries in the last thirty years.

So how can it be lies damned lies and statistics for something you dont believe is true and yet it is not the same lies damned lies and statistics for something in you believe is true??!!

Random breath testing and not going through a red light maybe.....but the others are all government revenue generating measures and are purely that, they are there to generate revenue for the govt, they dont care for your or my safety. Esp with speed cameras and the non use of mobile phones. There's been no study on this planet that has ever proved categorically speed cameras reduce accidents, in fact it probably causes more accidents due to sudden braking and cars slowing down where they know the cameras are and then speeding up again when the camera has passed.

The same with cell phones, in the UK i think since cell phones have been invented there's probably been about 5 cases where it has has been fatal and purely due because of the cell phone, what they hide is the fact surrounding it, maybe the child just jumped out from nowhere and the person happened to be on the cell phone, even if the person was fully attentive there would have been no chance. What about the parent not holding the childs hand? Why are they not prosecuted if the govt was really concerned about our safety?

Speed camera's. I had 27 points at one time, thats 3 bans!! But i spread them across my mother, father and brothers license and my own so i didnt get a ban. Most of them were pathetic doing 35 in a 30 zone at 3am in the morning when even rabbits were asleep and couldnt be harmed. So i just paid the 60 quid fine and sent in family members licenses for them to endorse. if they were that concerned about safety and not about the money, they would have asked my mother why a 62 year old lady was driving a toyota supra at 35mph at 3am!! off course they dont ask, they have already got the money.

You are wrong, whatever you may 'think', I personally know of three accidents all caused 100% by concentrating on their phone and not the road. All causing death, one accident killed a mother and two children. Any driving related laws that are introduced to save lives can only be a good thing.

[Gerontion]

My girl is 26 years younger than I, but that age difference goes by each day without either one of us taking notice.

Sure. I'm not cynical. I absolutely believe that. And I'm sure that if you were forced every day to have a five minute fumble with some wizened old hag 26 years older than you, you wouldn't notice either.