Adopting Our Niece - Possible?

[waffleuk]

Hi Everyone,

My wife and I have been married for two years and live in the UK. Our niece lives in Thailand with my wife's parents, however they are getting old and the little one is becoming quite a handful at 12 months old. The child's mother works every hour of the day earning money to live and rarely gets back to the village to see her daughter. We support our niece financially, however we feel we have much more to offer to her in the UK. We can give her all the love, support and education that a child deserves.

I'm not expecting anything to happen overnight, if at all; however the first question we need answering is - is this possible?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[Old Man River]

If it is with support of the parents then it is possible. We did it (niece), but it has been a long time so others will have more current info on the process. The bottom line though from what has been written on TV about these type of adoptions (and also similar to the way it was for us) you must have the parents' support. If you do, go for it.

Edited February 21, 2010 by Old Man River

[waffleuk]

Thank you for your response, it's very much appreciated. It would be with the full support of the child's parents, I would never dream of doing so without. It has certainly put our minds at ease a little knowing that others have done the same.

If anyone else can add anything to this that would be excellent. What process has to be followed in such cases?

Many Thanks

[IMA_FARANG]

1. I'm sure it is 'possible".

2. You will have to get the parents agreement and support.

3. It will be a long legal process even with their support. You need to get legal opinion on the Thai law regarding adoptions I would assume from a Thai lawyer who has handled such cases. And I expect that will cost you money.

4. While I agree that there are "advantages" to raising the child in the U.K. I must say that you also need to consider the child and her later life. I know your thinking of the advantages you will be giving her...but will SHE want to be ENGLISH or THAI when she reaches age 21. If she wants to return to Thailand after she is 21, will she feel like a foriegner in her own birth country? Or will she want to stay in the U.K. then? Will she be able to stay there? Will she feel that she was torn away from her home and family and she will want to go back to Thailand and her "roots"...only to then realise that she doesn't fit in to Thai society, not speaking the language?

I asked number 4, because had an American friend, married to a Thai woman, with a mixed American/Thai daughter. He raised her in Thailand, with her mother. For 20 years he worked to provide money for her eventual move to the U.S. and to enter her into a good University there. When he finally had the funds to bring here to the U.S., and enter her into university, he was astounded to find out that she wasn't interested in doing that. She said she had lived in Thailand all her life, and she felt she just wouldn't fit in to U.S. society. She felt Thai and not American. My American friend felt like his entire life, which he had dedicated to his daughter's benefit, was pointless. It didn't end well.

So I guess my hard question to you is this:

if after 20 years of living in the U.K. with all the "advantages", would you still be willing to let your adopted neice leave the U.K. for Thailand, never to see you again?

Edited February 21, 2010 by IMA_FARANG

[waffleuk]

Thank you again for your response and for taking time out of your day to write such a detailed response.

You ask a very good question, a question that I too have thought about over the last few weeks. We want to bring the little girl over to the UK because we believe it will advantageous for her in the long run. I believe a child needs parents who can make sound decisions on their behalf when they are small; as they move into adolescents they need someone to assist them with their decisions so that when they get to adulthood they can make sound decisions for themselves.

Therefore , should Mean (her name) decide at 21 years old that she would like to relocate to Thailand, then we will be supportive of her decision knowing that we have guided her to the best of our abilty. Our main priority is that she is given all the tools as a child/adolescent to make such choices when she becomes an adult.

When we return to Thailand later in the year, we will visit a Thai lawyer and see what the actual process is. I have done some research and it seems that a private adoption is processed much quicker than one done through an adoption agency.

Again, thank you for your response.

[Boo]

As you live in the UK you will need to contact the adoption service there to start the ball rolling on an international adoption as I beleived you will need to complete all the relevant checks & interviews with them before the thai adoption service will even consider your application.

[Boo]

I have just found & pm'd to you the fact sheets that another member kindly scanned for me last year. They are the official guidelines from the Thai adoption service, one in Thai & one in English. Should tell you everything you need to know.

[Mario2008]

Agree with Boo this is a international adoption, requiring that you meet the requirements of both Thailand and the UK. The best way to start is a adoption agency in the UK and be prepared for a long process, although the fact that you adopt from your wife's family should ease things. The several interviews and home study will take some time though.

In the pinned topic about Thai family law is also a link to an article about adoption in Thailand:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Thai-Family-Law-t313877.html

[phusingpete]

Thank you again for your response and for taking time out of your day to write such a detailed response.

You ask a very good question, a question that I too have thought about over the last few weeks. We want to bring the little girl over to the UK because we believe it will advantageous for her in the long run. I believe a child needs parents who can make sound decisions on their behalf when they are small; as they move into adolescents they need someone to assist them with their decisions so that when they get to adulthood they can make sound decisions for themselves.

Therefore , should Mean (her name) decide at 21 years old that she would like to relocate to Thailand, then we will be supportive of her decision knowing that we have guided her to the best of our abilty. Our main priority is that she is given all the tools as a child/adolescent to make such choices when she becomes an adult.

When we return to Thailand later in the year, we will visit a Thai lawyer and see what the actual process is. I have done some research and it seems that a private adoption is processed much quicker than one done through an adoption agency.

Again, thank you for your response.

Whatever you do stay well clear of private adoption, this is deemed illegal by the Thai adoption authority in Bangkok, I believe you have been sent their info sheets so you have probably already noticed this. Thai's do this all the time but being Thai they can get it legalised locally. My wife did this 30 months ago but because I am Farang we had to go to Bangkok where we have had no help or co-operation whatsoever, because we already have the child. I am living in Thailand. You will need to go through the adoption service in your own country as well as in Thailand. Good luck.

[waffleuk]

Having spoken to several adoption agencies, I was advised by them all to contact our local social services. The social worker I spoke to advised that it would be extremely difficult for us to adopt our niece and bring her to the UK. They advised that because the child already has parents and family in Thailand that are able to look after her, then any adoption by ourselves would be seen as the child being given as a gift and that would not be acceptable by UK law.

Not sure where to turn to be honest.

[Mario2008]

You can only follow the UK adoption regulations. it is a strong indication that you must have a compelling reason for the adoption to be granted in your case.

I would try and google for some support groups/internet forums in the UK about adoption. They will be able to give you some advice.

[Old Man River]

Having spoken to several adoption agencies, I was advised by them all to contact our local social services. The social worker I spoke to advised that it would be extremely difficult for us to adopt our niece and bring her to the UK. They advised that because the child already has parents and family in Thailand that are able to look after her, then any adoption by ourselves would be seen as the child being given as a gift and that would not be acceptable by UK law.

Not sure where to turn to be honest.

I can only say don't give up. Our adoption was in Thailand first. We then tried to get her American citizenship from here, with no intention of moving back to the US. We were told this is impossible. At the end of the day, it wasn't impossible. We eventually got it done with help from the American Embassy in Thailand who were amazing.

Contact the local British Embassy and ask them for their advice. I am sure you are not the first to try this on the UK side and you won't be the last. Just don't give up. Time is on your side.

[Desertexile]

hi waffleuk

How did this pan out? the mrs and I want to do the same