Pressured Into Signing Legal Agreements At Divorce

[rainforests]

I'm looking for suggestions on legal advice or legal representation in Bangkok, Thailand. Up until now, I have been living in Bangkok for eight months with my (ex)-wife and her family. I was married for over a year. I'm 24 years old and she is 23.

Lets just say that it was a rocky start ever since the beginning. Her and I met last year, and right away her family didn't like me. I should have taken this as a bad sign. However, at the time I felt motivated by love to ask her to marry.

Long story short, a year later we have a son. Her family is very controlling of her. In fact, they would not 'allow' us to live on our own.

Unfortunately, things in our relationship started to break down. In part because of cultural difficulties that could not be overcome, and pressure from living with her big family. Her Dad in particular was always critical and mean towards me.

A few weeks ago, I had decided to separate and move out. However, I continued to live with her, because I wanted to be near my son. She was experiencing difficulties over the our break-up and "just being friends for the sake of our son" like we agreed. She tried to commit suicide twice. Over this period of time is when my ex-wife began to contact people who I know - Calling over a hundred people in my address book secretly.

But then a week ago, one of my ex-wife's friends -said- that she saw me with another woman. Because of this, my ex-wife gave me a call one day last week while I was at work and told me that she would "kill me", "burn all of my belongings", "take me to court and have me deported", and so forth.

After having several of my Thai friends try to negotiate for me to get back into the house to get my belongings. I was instructed by her and her family that the only way I would be able to get my belongings (including 20,000Baht cash and my computer with all of my work on it, plus all of my clothes and everything else I own), was to sign for the divorce "as soon as possible".

I was given less than 12 hours notice of when we would meet to sign the divorce papers, or else my things could have been "destroyed". I tried to contact an attorney in time. However, I could not find anyone to help represent me on such short notice . I spoke with a few attorneys on the phone who advised me to sign nothing except for the actual divorce paper (and no other agreements, etc.).

My ex-wife and her family also failed to inform me that the entire proceeding would be in Thai, including all of the paperwork (though I should have known). I asked a Thai friend (who's an English student) to come with me for support.

Here is the bad part... when I went to the divorce her father (who disdains me anyways) started saying things like, "I can kill you right now", and "several people have offered to kill you, all I need to do is tell them", and "I advise you to leave Thailand as soon as possible for your own life" . I was extremely pressured and forced to sign all of the papers at the table. I was afraid for my own life and also about getting my belongings out of the house.

Her father owns four guns illegally. Including a gun that he keeps in his truck. Obviously, you can imagine how I felt concerned to comply over what I was forced to sign that day .

Now that I have signed the divorce. I was able to get my belongings out of the house (though it was intimidating to do so).

I am seeking help now about what to do with the agreements that I feel like I was forced to sign.

The biggest emotional issue for me is the fact that I love my son. I want to see him, but my ex-wife now has 100% custody of him .

What can I do? If anyone has suggestions, advice, or the name of an attorney in Bangkok who is experienced with this sort of family law and / or divorce. Please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM or e-mail.

All and all, yes it was a mistake to marry so young. Yes, it was a mistake for me to marry into an ultra-conservative and big controlling Thai family. However, at this point I'm just trying to sort life and legalities out.

- I apologize if this was posted into the wrong forum. I've been an occasional lurker on ThaiVisa until now.

Edited May 16, 2005 by rainforests

[Thomas_Merton]

Lets just say that it was a rocky start ever since the beginning. Her and I met last year, and right away her family didn't like me. I should have taken this as a bad sign. However, at the time I felt motivated by love to ask her to marry.

Long story short, a year later we have a son. Her family is very controlling of her. In fact, they would not 'allow' us to live on our own.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is the grey area of your story, which demands an enormous amount of self analysis on your part. What have you done wrong? What errors have you been responsible for in the development of your relationship with the family? But more importantly, with your wife?

Whatever conclusions you come to - and they must be honest - take them to your ex-father-in-law and sincerely apologise.

Should you be able to do this, then you will have little need for legal advice.

Edited May 16, 2005 by Thomas_Merton

[Rinrada]

when I went to the divorce her father started saying things like, "I can kill you right now", and "several people have offered to kill you, all I need to do is tell them", and "I advise you to leave Thailand as soon as possible for your own life" :(. I was extremely pressured and forced to sign all of the papers at the table.

Her father owns four guns illegally. Including a gun that he keeps in his truck. Obviously, you can imagine how I felt concerned to comply over what I was forced to sign that day .

Now that I have signed the divorce. I was able ....

The biggest emotional issue for me is the fact that I love my son. I want to see him, but my ex-wife now has 100% custody of him .

Sorry to hear about your situation but highlighted above would appear to answer your question

[Ajarn]

If you can work out an agreement for visitation, great. If not....

Run away, and don't look back. Really. Sometimes it's best. From your description, I can't imagine your continuing presence coming to anything but more bad for you, and maybe your son, too.

Terrible to say, I know. Sorry about that...

[gburns57au]

First thing you need to do is get some backbone and stand up for yourself....

Why did you find yourself in this situation....because you didnt have the guts to deal with the situation from the start....You showed them you could be pushed around and they took full advantage.

IMHO you should cut your losses and run home.....You dont belong in Thailand and I dont mean that nasty....you just really dont belong there.

[sriracha john]

Your turmoil will go down as one of the all-time great Thaivisa first posts... A real keeper classic.

[Pink Mist]

these stories have been told b4 and will be told again,my first thought was troll and still is, it's got more holes than a fishing net.

[Ajarn]

these stories have been told b4 and will be told again,my first thought was troll and still is, it's got more holes than a fishing net.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yep, trying to give the benefit, but....

Frankly, sometimes I feel most of the posts here are trolls

[marquess]

Sorry to hear about the terrible situation, especially for the little boy. It is either fight or flight, no inbetween. Have you tried contacting the British Embassy, they will have list of bonifide legal people (proved very helpful to me when I was in a jam). Good luck

[rainforests]

Hi everyone,

I appreciate the comments. I read through each one of them. However, what I'm really seeking is legal advice or the suggestion of a good attorney who might be able to answer some questions that I have regarding family law and divorce in Thailand.