The last few years Pattaya has seen Indian restaurants mushrooming around the various sois of Pattaya. You know what? I think I'll open one up (they must be successful). Mine will be very "creative"... a white narrow room with bright white florescent lighting...mmm oh, and all the tables will host six people and have marooned table cloths on them... what else? Oh, and the unique interrior will have brown, English style wooden chairs for the farangs to sit on. In the back, I'll have a TV screen showing a Bollywood movie.... Oh, when the customer orders a dish, I will be pushy and try to get him to order something else... I'll sit behind the cash register watching TV while I instruct my help (relatives from India and a Thai) to wait on the customers.. Any other suggestions?

Edited March 11, 201016 yr by chillibilly

Make sure the chef wanders out into the body of the restaurant with a filthy apron and evident personal hygiene issues. Oh and make sure the toilets are disgusting with lots of broken fittings.

You need to get out more.

Make sure the meat curries contain no more than 4 miniscule chunks of meat. When any non-Indian request very spicy, make sure there is no spice at all (the occidentals are inscrutable and never mean what they say, also their spleens will explode with any chile at all, its a known fact). Don't forget the biryanis. Don't dare do real Indian biryanis. Instead, add the local Thai flavor by offering Thai fried rice with yellow food coloring. Don't forget to check the prices of curries in New York City, you must peg your curry prices to that or the curry mafia pricing power will be ruined. You know what happens to the curry houses that undercut the prices? (Don't ask.)

Edited March 11, 201016 yr by Jingthing

And keep the toilets unflushed!

Flushing them every day destroys the unique curry house atmosphere (dare I say flavour?)

Dirty chipped glasses, drinking glasses must be washed in dirty water with added chappati flour, do not towel them dry!

If anyone dares to complain that the food is too mild, you should apologise profusely, making sure that they look the big brave man to all their mates,

then ensure that the returned food is hot enough to make them violently ill.

a club to hit any complaining poor boy but uppity and arrogant farang hard on his skull?

This thread is bordering on breaking into rule:

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

//CLOSED//

sorry, the point of the sarcasm was not to be a racial slur but asking why most Indian restaurants have to be identical?

sorry, the point of the sarcasm was not to be a racial slur but asking why most Indian restaurants have to be identical?

Same Family???