Westerners Follow Thai Brides To Live In Hard-Up Northeast

[webfact]

Westerners follow Thai brides to live in hard-up northeast - Feature

by Rachel O'Brien

UDON THANI (AFP) -- On what the locals jokingly call "Westerners street", Australian Justin Raines is laughing over a beer with his pregnant Thai fiancee Eve -- who at 21 is half his age.

"It doesn't matter whether you're fat, you're ugly, you've got spew hanging out of your mouth or whatever else, there's some lady here who will want to take care of you," Justin says with a grin.

Nine years ago he moved from Queensland to this hard-up, northeastern region of Thailand, known as Isaan, to be with his first Thai wife, whom he met on a trip to Bangkok.

The pair later separated, but Justin said by then he had fallen for "laid-back" Udon Thani, one of Isaan's main towns, where he opened Western bars and went on to meet his new Thai bride-to-be.

"The ladies here are the most beautiful girls in Thailand, Isaan ladies, and money-wise too -- it's cheaper here to live than it is in other places like Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket," Justin said, referring to the capital and two top tourist resorts.

Holidaymakers in Thailand rarely venture to Isaan, the country's least prosperous region, where downtrodden farms are more commonplace than the glitzy hotels and paradise beaches found further south.

Yet many foreign men apparently share Justin's enthusiasm.

He and Eve are one of an estimated 60-70,000 cross-cultural couples now in the region according to Buapan Promphakping, associate professor in social development at the local Khon Kaen University.

The trend began back in the 1960s when thousands of US soldiers were stationed in the area during the Vietnam War.

But it has continued apace, particularly as many poor Isaan women have left home to find work in the tourist hubs -- often as bar girls -- where they can meet foreign men and bring them back to settle in the northeast.

Justin's fiancee, whose full Thai name is Nirruttaya Yapha, said "the way of life is easy" with her Western partner, who even helps with the washing up, and together the pair now run a small clothing business.

But Justin's socialising with fellow expatriates is a sore point.

"He's not single anymore and when they go out at night, they stay out until the morning. It's not acceptable, so we fight regularly," she said.

There can be a darker side for both partners in these unions, in which big age gaps are common and Thai law means Western men often end up buying local properties in their wife's name.

"I mean, how smart do you have to be to realise that this could be a bit of a trap?" said John Burdett, a British lawyer-turned-novelist who has extensively interviewed Isaan bar girls in Bangkok for his books.

Burdett said Thai-Western marriages could, however, work "fantastically well" -- and often provide a financial lifeline for the woman's family -- if couples have the right approach.

"It's a question of both parties, especially the men, understanding that this is a very different culture and if you want a long-term relationship you're going to have to understand the culture," he said.

Ronnie Behnke, 37, is trying to do just that, after moving from Brisbane in Australia to his wife Parnom's quiet home village in the Isaan province of Khon Kaen, where the couple have set up a fish farm together.

"I was going into a jungle -- you hear a lot of bad stories about people being ripped off," he said. "I just moved along step-by-step to make sure this is what I wanted to do."

Ronnie said he "hit it off" with his 26-year-old wife in the southeastern resort of Pattaya seven years ago, where he was on holiday and she worked as a housemaid, but he found his first visit to the northeast something of a shock.

"They had nothing, her family. The toilet was a disgrace so I fixed the toilet, the shower. They wanted me to stay at the house but I couldn't use it," he said.

"When I came here and saw people who have nothing to give, but they still give it, I thought: these are people I want to help."

Ronnie hopes the farm will boost the village's economy, and he also offers advice to Western visitors on Isaan culture in his role as a volunteer with the tourist police -- authorities he reckoned it helps to have on side.

"Now I have a safety net, now I have a group of people I can trust, I feel safe," he said.

Although he admitted his Thai language skills are still fairly basic, Ronnie said he is happier hanging out with the locals than the expat community.

"It's a shame because you see a lot of bar flies who have nothing better to do than drink all day and go back and harass their wives. Sometimes I want to say: well there's the airport, just go if you don't like it," he said.

As for his wife Parnom, she seemed happy with her choice of partner.

"I think I've found a good man, you know, and he takes care of me. I think I'm happy with this. Simple!" she said with a laugh.

-- ©Copyright AFP 2020-03-25

Published with written approval from AFP.

[newsfooter][/newsfooter]

[onlooker]

Deja Vu all over again. Dont we get this article rehashed every year by a different news agency? Just change the names to make it more UK/Oz/US related and hey presto an insight into Thai life for expats.

[somtampet]

So lads and lassies,have we learnt anything from this??????

Do we need to purchase a book to know this???

[Eazy-Going]

Totally agree, I love living in Udon. It has everything Bankok has, obviously on a smaller scale and without the hassle and stress, major traffic and polution issues, is cheaper, the people a lot friendlier, so much cleaner and you can actually walk down the streets without the risk of getting knocked over at every juncture. I rent a nice little 3 bed bungalow with it's own garden, (inc. mango tree and small pond), all for 3500BHT (inclusive of elec and water per month), my one room apartment in Phra Padaeng BKK cost twice that and was noisey all of the time. Quality of life here, imo, is so much better. One drawback...only 1 hours drive from the g/f's village so we are always on call, but they're great people so I don't mind so much.

[somtampet]

Totally agree, I love living in Udon. It has everything Bankok has, obviously on a smaller scale and without the hassle and stress, major traffic and polution issues, is cheaper, the people a lot friendlier, so much cleaner and you can actually walk down the streets without the risk of getting knocked over at every juncture. I rent a nice little 3 bed bungalow with it's own garden, (inc. mango tree and small pond), all for 3500BHT (inclusive of elec and water per month), my one room apartment in Phra Padaeng BKK cost twice that and was noisey all of the time. Quality of life here, imo, is so much better. One drawback...only 1 hours drive from the g/f's village so we are always on call, but they're great people so I don't mind so much.

Visited Udon on a couple of occasions and thought this is a place i could live.A little bit out of the way but a nice palce.

[colino]

Well there you go.

Its been going on since the 1960s and will be still going on in the 2060s

same story just differnt names.

and we will get the same posts , i e I built my wife a house in Isaan, now the family want me out what should I do.

Colino

[Eazy-Going]

Well I can reccomend it Somtampet, it definately suits me anyway and have made many great Thai friends here, they're lovely people. It's a great laidback life...it reminds me of why I came to Thailand for in the first place.

[gotlost]

Repeat repeat repeat.

[soihok]

Agree, hardly what you would call "latest news".

[somtampet]

Well I can reccomend it Somtampet, it definately suits me anyway and have made many great Thai friends here, they're lovely people. It's a great laidback life...it reminds me of why I came to Thailand for in the first place.

Been Pattaya for 6.5 years and i love the place,including many many good friends,thai and farang.My gf son is 9 now and i wonder what his future holds in Pattaya,other than its only a couple of hours to Bangkok,so a bit confused as to what the future holds for us inPattaya.

I dont hold the crap about the sleeze,its not in your face if you dont go the touristy places and Jomtien is close too,but we have to be careful there as many guys openly touch each other and not good for a young kid to see.

[Chang_paarp]

This version of the the old chestnut page filler has some younger interviewees and for a change it includes the wife's name. It also forgot to include the economic impact of the falang invasion in issan is having. I give it 7.5/10 for a generic piece, try a little harder for some real information next time.

Will run for 4 pages on TV and be closed in a couple of days when the name calling starts in earnest.

[tonititan]

"It doesn't matter whether you're fat, you're ugly, you've got spew hanging out of your mouth or whatever else, there's some lady here who will want to take care of you," Justin says with a grin.

My favorite line

[ratcatcher]

"It doesn't matter whether you're fat, you're ugly, you've got spew hanging out of your mouth or whatever else, there's some lady here who will want to take care of you," Justin says with a grin.

My favorite line

No, it was the "spew hanging out of your mouth" that got my attention.

All the ladies will take care of you as long as the satang keep rolling.

[sarahsbloke]

Been there, done that.

If I owned both hel_l and Issan, I would rent out Issan and live in hel_l.

I'm pretty sure hel_l would be cooler and have better toilets.

Edited March 25, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[ballpoint]

Been there, done that.

If I owned both hel_l and Issan, I would rent out Issan and live in hel_l.

A view seemingly shared by many. Hence the large number of expats in Pattaya.

[TAWP]

"It doesn't matter whether you're fat, you're ugly, you've got spew hanging out of your mouth or whatever else, there's some lady here who will want to take care of you," Justin says with a grin.

My favorite line

Pond-scum that in a year will post here how his angel ripped him off...

[Thai at Heart]

Moderately better written than the piece a few years ago stating that because Thai wives were putting up Xmas lights and eating pizza they were becoming less Thai.

This is hardly news.

[basjke]

"It doesn't matter whether you're fat, you're ugly, you've got spew hanging out of your mouth or whatever else, there's some lady here who will want to take care of you," Justin says with a grin.

My favorite line

Pond-scum that in a year will post here how his angel ripped him off...

Excactly my thoughts also.They should have added to the sentence "as long as you have some dosh left"

[Edmond]

This version of the the old chestnut page filler...

Ronnie said he "hit it off" with his 26-year-old wife in the southeastern resort of Pattaya seven years ago, where he was on holiday and she worked as a housemaid

[bow]

Been there, done that.

If I owned both hel_l and Issan, I would rent out Issan and live in hel_l.

I'm pretty sure hel_l would be cooler and have better toilets.

YES

[IsaanAndy]

Udon is hardly representative of Isaan as a whole in my opinion just the same as any city up here Khorat, KK etc.

The real Isaan is found in the small villages where the majority of people live and get by, by farming.

As for becoming more western, that will happen with the younger generation who aspire to to do something better than look after cows or farm small rice holdings.

It is true that there are more westerners here in Isaan. When I came here 5 yeras ago there was only one other within 25Ks, now we have Korean, Aussie, English, Norwegian, American, Italian all within a 20K radius of our small town.

I live 12Ks from Suwannaphum in ROI ET.

[steveromagnino]

a farang goes to the local shops in Isaan wanting to buy a shirt.

I want a beautiful shirt he says.

Oh, see daeng, says the shop keeper.

Right. Says the farang. And now I want the most beautiful shoes you have.

Oh, see dum, says the shop keeper.

And now I want a pair of pants. Nice formal pants, for a wedding. What you got.

Oh, see num ngern says the shop keeper.

OK, perfect. Now the only thing missing is a beautiful wife to join me in holy matrimony, or as we say is Aussie, sending a dagwood dog up into her map of Tasmania. Why is this stupid province so devoid of anyone decent looking - why are they all short unattractive loud mouthed slappers with dark skin?

Oh, See sikaet, says the shop keeper.

Let me tell you, this joke KILLS in Buriram.

[mickylonster]

Udon is hardly representative of Isaan as a whole in my opinion just the same as any city up here Khorat, KK etc.

The real Isaan is found in the small villages where the majority of people live and get by, by farming.

As for becoming more western, that will happen with the younger generation who aspire to to do something better than look after cows or farm small rice holdings.

It is true that there are more westerners here in Isaan. When I came here 5 yeras ago there was only one other within 25Ks, now we have Korean, Aussie, English, Norwegian, American, Italian all within a 20K radius of our small town.

I live 12Ks from Suwannaphum in ROI ET.

I agree , the life in my wife`s village is laid back , almost horizontal ! Our house is nearly finished , and I can`t wait to move in , also in the same area, 11k west of Phranum Pai

[meadish_sweetball]

"It doesn't matter whether you're fat, you're ugly, you've got spew hanging out of your mouth or whatever else, there's some lady here who will want to take care of you," Justin says with a grin.

My favorite line

Pond-scum that in a year will post here how his angel ripped him off...

Hey, at least he helps with the washing-up.

[animatic]

Been there, done that.

If I owned both hel_l and Issan, I would rent out Issan and live in hel_l.

A view seemingly shared by many. Hence the large number of expats in Pattaya.

YIKES!!!!

Seen much of Issan but certainly not all,

and seen too much of Pattaya...

Issan seems much more charming.

[ballpoint]

Been there, done that.

If I owned both hel_l and Issan, I would rent out Issan and live in hel_l.

A view seemingly shared by many. Hence the large number of expats in Pattaya.

YIKES!!!!

Seen much of Issan but certainly not all,

and seen too much of Pattaya...

Issan seems much more charming.

I think you missed the point of my reply, which was that it does seem as if a large number of people would rather live in hel_l than Isaan.

(Edit) And what is it with the rather quaint censorship of the word hel_l? What a naughty word it is! Am I supposed to say people would rather live in heck?

Edited March 25, 2010 by ballpoint

[elliss]

WESTERNERS , FOLLOW THAI BAR GIRLS TO ISSAN .

since most of the farangs , living in issan .

met their thai wives / girl friends working in the hospitality buisness ,

in pattaya , phucket , bangkok . it being their plan to net a farang in these places.

the road to issan , has been well trodden , for a long time ..

[bkkjames]

Is it this time of the year again already? To roll out the old Farang Husbands of Issan story. Usually the Nation does this in May but I guess AFP was having a slow week and wanted to break the news early this year.

Don't believe, search back on TV. Same story x 3 years - only different date and different names. Last year it was Tookata and Jeoff I believe. The year before that Aey and Samuel.

[Eazy-Going]

Never been to Pattaya so cannot comment, been to Phuket for 2 nights, did not like the 'in your face' trade, but then that was our fault as we stayed in Patong, liked Chiang Mai, loved Samui, totally hated living in BKK but for me Udon Thani is just the right mix, if it had a beach nearby it would be tops, however domestic flights are so cheap it's not a big issue. Admittedly Udon is not for everybody but as I said, it suits me. I'm not heavily involved in the expat scene, Thaivisa is probably the exception, love Issan food, the people are just so caring and I hope my attitude towards the place continues for a very long time to come. Each to their own, it's all a matter of personal taste, instead of the condescending remarks can't we leave it at that....but I guess not!!!

[mca]

a farang goes to the local shops in Isaan wanting to buy a shirt.

I want a beautiful shirt he says.

Oh, see daeng, says the shop keeper.

Right. Says the farang. And now I want the most beautiful shoes you have.

Oh, see dum, says the shop keeper.

And now I want a pair of pants. Nice formal pants, for a wedding. What you got.

Oh, see num ngern says the shop keeper.

OK, perfect. Now the only thing missing is a beautiful wife to join me in holy matrimony, or as we say is Aussie, sending a dagwood dog up into her map of Tasmania. Why is this stupid province so devoid of anyone decent looking - why are they all short unattractive loud mouthed slappers with dark skin?

Oh, See sikaet, says the shop keeper.

Let me tell you, this joke KILLS in Buriram.

Yep. Buriram. The Monaco of Isaan.