Trust In A Relationship

[sanook2me]

PS

The teaching front, I was a teacher in the UK with a degree, PGCE and 10 years teaching experience in a comprehensive school. I don't live in Bangkok so my teaching wage out here would be unlikely to exceed 25,000bht a month. The work out here is hard, I don't fancy it.

My friend has the PGCE and 3 years teaching experience in UK he has just signed a contract in Thailand for 85k baht per month...

Teaching pays well here if you have the right qualifications...

OP..

Look at becoming a qualified teacher..its not that hard..... you could do a degree part time then the PGCE....good pay anywhere in the world after that..including Thailand...

[mca]

if you think that this girl is with me only for my money then you are wrong. I know this girl, you don't. She is an honest and sweet girl.

Something doesn't feel right. I can't put my finger on it....

Love it!

Please don't tell me that this is a wind up mate. You'll spoil my Friday morning chuckle.

[a2396]

OK guys here's the "real deal". Advice from an "expert" or at least she thinks - Miss Cassandra James. I stumbled upon this today in my internet browsing. (see attached article) Note point 2. re: Buy Little Gifts For Her Family. She says a fruit-basket will probably be fine. Mys guess is to add a couple bottles of JW Blue Label to bring the value up and make the old man happy. It your intentions are honorable, don't forget to heed points 4 and 5 later on. Tally-ho to all !!

How_to_Get_a_Thai_Girls_Family_to_Like_You.rtf

[ilyelol]

that's still close to broke after insurance, mortgage, farang food, taxi or car, whitening makeup for the lady

if you want to live like a broke thai to get some vagina, just get a fleshlight for 50$ and talk to a woman in your family daily for womenesque nonsense instead of coming here and living at poverty level... 85k baht in a western country fairs better than in thailand where everything farangest is more expensive

PS

The teaching front, I was a teacher in the UK with a degree, PGCE and 10 years teaching experience in a comprehensive school. I don't live in Bangkok so my teaching wage out here would be unlikely to exceed 25,000bht a month. The work out here is hard, I don't fancy it.

My friend has the PGCE and 3 years teaching experience in UK he has just signed a contract in Thailand for 85k baht per month...

Teaching pays well here if you have the right qualifications...

OP..

Look at becoming a qualified teacher..its not that hard..... you could do a degree part time then the PGCE....good pay anywhere in the world after that..including Thailand...

[colino]

I just have two questions to ask you stopdarot.

1st have you been to MBK yet ( phone no good need new so me can call you Darling Honey)

2nd have you been to the gold shop yet, ( g/f crying shop going to sell my gold me have no money to buy back)

Ps the girl will keep hold of you as long as she can you have tripled her salary.

and just to add I met a very nice Girl who told me she worked at Robinsons at Asoke.

When I went to surprise her at work one day I found out she worked outside Robinsons Il say no more.Colino

[Latindancer]

The 5,000 baht gift to her parents upon first meeting does seem quite odd. Particularly since you're giving her 25,000 Baht/ month. Are you SURE it's cash she's talking about ? Maybe she means a GIFT to the value of about that ?

And what DOES she do every day ? Specifically ? Not just vaguely....

Good luck with the whole thing. Just remember you can't judge Thais by our standards. Try to learn the local standards.

I met a lovely girl who has no trace of hot temper, intelligent, sensible, with sense of responsibility .....she's a teacher. Girls like this do exist. But I suggest you wait a little before popping the marriage question......

You stated that your gut feeling is that something is not quite right. I URGE YOU TO GO WITH THIS. Just wait, and all will be revealed in time. You can do all you wish in the meantime.

"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread".

Edited March 26, 2010 by Latindancer

[jayjayjayjay]

^Well some of us do have gf's that have their own job and therefore their own dosh. Would you do the same for a western bird?

She had a job, and the pay was crap. To be honest I didn't like the idea of her working on that road. I didn't want her being ruined as many of the girls mentioned on this site are.

I see nothing wrong with investing in something you desire. It happens all over the world in many walks of life.

Does the footballer let his gf continue to work in John Lewis, or the Director let her work in an office?

No, we invest in our relationships, we attempt to make them our equals. How many of you guys on here have gf/wives working for a low salary? None I'd guess, but if you do you need to look at why..

She is fully exposed to it already(street girls) being anywhere in Soi 4, and in my opinion, buy giving her money for nothing you've taken away the one thing she could be proud off, ie work. That is seen where she leaves her house as to tell mum and dad she is still working. But, due to your generosity, she now has lots of time away from the house where she can hang around street bars to chat up other farangs, what she is most likely doing now. I bet she has a dozen guys on the run. You'll find the same anywhere in Thailand, but Soi 4 is a given.

Try this, bet it does not go down well. Take her phone the minute you find her and call all 50 missed calls for last 2 weeks. See how many farangs! Ask for her hotmail password at look at chats. Bet you she will not hand over the password. She most likely been hanging out in Soi 5 to Soi 7 internet cafes.. It really worries me that she did not just stay at home. Thai's have no problems at all hanging around the house, and mum and dad would not be concerned at all.

me thinks you've gone about this completely the wrong way............

[BigPanda]

I understand your point of defending her and other Thai girls by saying they are not all bad and what ever comes in mind. But the truth is that you are in love with her and trust me and everyone else here : Love in Thailand is even more BlIND then it would be in your country because everything is new and you don't know anything about this country and the people. So you rely on the ones you trust and they can make you do and believe whatever...

Moving here to make your life because of a girl is really really stupid. What if in 1 year you learn she has been playing and cheating you the whole time. What if you set up your life here with everything to her name because you were so much in love... Happened to me. So I don't talk over my head, and I wasn't even paying her money every month. I made her work and earn her own money. But after so many lies and bullshit stories i was so fed up, I decided to quit and start over. Well I was able to rebuild my business here, I live alone and meet new people. My life is quiet good now and I have taken great lessons from my mistake.

My best advice if you want a new life and come live here, would be to do it. But do it on your own and for yourself. Come live here, rent a place and stay alone. Maybe a few nights a week you can stay with your girlfriend if her family lets her. (if she is from a good family they wont let her stay with a man until she is married) So be careful on that one. You have so much to learn about Thai culture. Don't take me wrong when i like a girl and she likes me we happen to stay together some nights but never would let her family know about this. If they knew they would be very upset!!!

I could repeat all what others have told you... I believe your story because I have seen it over and over and it always ended up in nightmares.

Giving her parents money is ridiculous... why would you have to give them 5000 if you already pay your girlfriend 25k a month. Can't she give them by herself from her salary, or is she that greedy?

Anyway i was quiet more clever and careful then you, and I still ended up in a bad situation, much worst then i ever imagine. Even if you think now that you wont spend all your money on her, it will change and she will be able to manipulate you easily. That is for sure just by seeing what you wrote.

Also listen to the one who told you not to trust a friend who promised you a job here. He is absolutely right. Never trust until it happens.

It is a completely new game here. But if you take the time to learn it, you may enjoy it much better then your home country, but you will need time and learn not to be so confident here.

Good luck to you and you are lucky you saw this forum, maybe you will see the signs by yourself soon enough.

[jayjayjayjay]

~snip~

I am financially secure after selling the family business.

I am not going to Thailand to drink my life away on a barstool and dream of what might have been.

~snip~

No but these two worry me. Your coming to Thailand with money. I wonder how many things you will put in this girls name!!!! Car, land, house, company etc....................... In 5 years time the family business money is effectively signed over to a Mor6 educated Thai girl with big stars in her eyes. You are right, she did not ask for you to hand over money, but <deleted>, you are destroying this girls view of reality. You are seriously going to F8ck up if you don't go into this with a little more caution, and common sense. The best thing for your girl is to be working in a small office way out of central town with real down to earth Thai's.

[GungaDin]

The only good idea the OP has had, is to turn up unannounced, to "surprise" her.

If he can, he will learn a lot.

If he approaches her ex employers, someone will definitely tip her off.

There must be another way to find out Ma & Pa's address without alerting her.

Maybe ask her for the address to send flowers from abroad?

Any ideas?

[Hawkup2000]

"Hello

I'm a Thai lady. A while ago I was in England. There I meet a bricklayer. We spent two weeks together. Now I'm back in Bangkok selling the company that I inherited from my dad. I send £ 8,000 every month to my boyfriend in England so he don't have to work and be tried. Now he only sit home and watch TV because he is a nice man. I feel very lucky to have found a man that accepts my money. I think that he didn't want my money but accepted them because I'm very good looking.

I plan to move to England. There I will find work as a cleaner. As a cleaner in England I can have a salary of £ 4,000/month. My boyfriend says that I should give his parents £ 1,000 when I meet them for the first time. Is this normal?"

[MrsExpat2B]

Just being a bit optimistic, maybe your gf really wants her parents to like you and somehow that's the only way she could come up with, but then if the money is the first thing on her and their mind, would you really want to get involved with this kind of family?

I would buy little gifts - nice t-shirt, a bottle of wine, chocolate, tea, harrod bags or whatever (I always buy something off the duty free shop at Heathrow for my gran), make sure it's obviously from abroad (or that you can't easily get in Thailand) so at least ma & pa are happy they can show it off to neighbours. Try suggesting that to her and if she still wants the money then you know something isn't right.

[TAWP]

You send her £500 per month?

Congrats to the girl, she managed to double+ her salary while doing very little work.

And if £500 is nothing, than why is giving her parents 5k Baht going to be an issue?

Edited March 26, 2010 by TAWP

[TAWP]

I have sold the family business. My dad worked hard to build that up and put me through school and 6 years after he'd gone I could see the work slowly fading. A large corp' offered to buy me out.

For the love of God, don't give away your dad's built up company's sell-off money to a Thai girl that smiles when you give her money...

To OP: If you need to meet real lookers (shouldn't be a problem if your charm is more than your money, right?) contact me when you get to BKK and I'll take you out to meet some.

Edited March 26, 2010 by TAWP

[BillR]

just be sure to put your car and condo in her name, then you'll be ok

[neverdie]

A word from neverdie, this is a good read:

[stopdarot]

Ok guys. I've had a think about your posts and I'm still going to knock on her parents door Tuesday, I have the address now, but I won't be on bended knee. I've been told that I need to ask dad for her hand before I can ask her.

So I'll just come over and spend time with her. I'm looking forward to the water festival that I've heard so much about. We are going to drive down to Samed, I've never been there.

Nok is not aware of my financial situation, I wanted her to like me not the prospect of me having money, and I'm going to keep it that way.

I was MD of the firm for over 8 years, and I have the right qualifications to get a work permit.

Thanks people. I know many of you have horror stories but I don't intend to be one.

[neverdie]

Ok guys. I've had a think about your posts and I'm still going to knock on her parents door Tuesday, I have the address now, but I won't be on bended knee. I've been told that I need to ask dad for her hand before I can ask her.

So I'll just come over and spend time with her. I'm looking forward to the water festival that I've heard so much about. We are going to drive down to Samed, I've never been there.

Nok is not aware of my financial situation, I wanted her to like me not the prospect of me having money, and I'm going to keep it that way.

I was MD of the firm for over 8 years, and I have the right qualifications to get a work permit.

Thanks people. I know many of you have horror stories but I don't intend to be one.

Nobody before you ever said any of that.......it'll be right mate.

please keep posting here as you go through the various stages of thaitime.

[GungaDin]

Be sure to let us know how the "surprise" goes.

I can't wait.

[tigerfish]

Ok guys. I've had a think about your posts and I'm still going to knock on her parents door Tuesday, I have the address now, but I won't be on bended knee. I've been told that I need to ask dad for her hand before I can ask her.

So I'll just come over and spend time with her. I'm looking forward to the water festival that I've heard so much about. We are going to drive down to Samed, I've never been there.

Nok is not aware of my financial situation, I wanted her to like me not the prospect of me having money, and I'm going to keep it that way.

I was MD of the firm for over 8 years, and I have the right qualifications to get a work permit.

Thanks people. I know many of you have horror stories but I don't intend to be one.

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

anyone want to hazard a guess at what might be the asking price.

Edited March 26, 2010 by tigerfish

[stopdarot]

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

Very funny... I've read a few posts on this!

I'll cross that bridge another time...

What do you think would be a good gift for the folks? Something I can easily carry on the plane, something that might be special to them from the UK?

And which parent is the one to impress, mum or dad?

[neverdie]

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

Very funny... I've read a few posts on this!

I'll cross that bridge another time...

What do you think would be a good gift for the folks? Something I can easily carry on the plane, something that might be special to them from the UK?

And which parent is the one to impress, mum or dad?

NEITHER.......Run!

[NADTATIDA1]

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

Very funny... I've read a few posts on this!

I'll cross that bridge another time...

What do you think would be a good gift for the folks? Something I can easily carry on the plane, something that might be special to them from the UK?

And which parent is the one to impress, mum or dad?

Cash mate..... cold hard cash pound notes and lots of em..........you do not have to impress them,they have to impress you,you have failed already...i fear for you mate really....well trodden path!!

[tigerfish]

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

Very funny... I've read a few posts on this!

I'll cross that bridge another time...

What do you think would be a good gift for the folks? Something I can easily carry on the plane, something that might be special to them from the UK?

And which parent is the one to impress, mum or dad?

both parent need to be impressed but i would say in different ways, always a good idea to get off on a good footing with the old man.

as for gifts what part of the u.k. are you from, is there anything from your home town that specialises in making something.

find out from your gf if her father likes any particular football team back in the u.k. maybe a signed shirt that he can bragg to his friends about. does he drink whiskey?

word of warning when and if you do finally meet the parents, and give them gifts. dont expect an overeaction to your generousity, or a big hug and a kiss. its not the thai way. if you get my jhist.

Edited March 26, 2010 by tigerfish

[TAWP]

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

anyone want to hazard a guess at what might be the asking price.

300.000+

[stopdarot]

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

Very funny... I've read a few posts on this!

I'll cross that bridge another time...

What do you think would be a good gift for the folks? Something I can easily carry on the plane, something that might be special to them from the UK?

And which parent is the one to impress, mum or dad?

both parent need to be impressed but i would say in different ways, always a good idea to get off on a good footing with the old man.

as for gifts what part of the u.k. are you from, is there anything from your home town that specialises in making something.

find out from your gf if her father likes any particular football team back in the u.k. maybe a signed shirt that he can bragg to his friends about. does he drink whiskey?

word of warning when and if you do finally meet the parents, and give them gifts. dont expect an overeaction to your generousity, or a big hug and a kiss. its not the thai way. if you get my jhist.

London... So plenty of shops. Only it needs to be today, going to the footie tomorrow..

So I'm guessing a cheap bag from Harrods and a single malt...

[tigerfish]

hate to bring these two words into any topic of conversation, but the issue of "sin sod" should be an interesting one.

Very funny... I've read a few posts on this!

I'll cross that bridge another time...

What do you think would be a good gift for the folks? Something I can easily carry on the plane, something that might be special to them from the UK?

And which parent is the one to impress, mum or dad?

both parent need to be impressed but i would say in different ways, always a good idea to get off on a good footing with the old man.

as for gifts what part of the u.k. are you from, is there anything from your home town that specialises in making something.

find out from your gf if her father likes any particular football team back in the u.k. maybe a signed shirt that he can bragg to his friends about. does he drink whiskey?

word of warning when and if you do finally meet the parents, and give them gifts. dont expect an overeaction to your generousity, or a big hug and a kiss. its not the thai way. if you get my jhist.

London... So plenty of shops. Only it needs to be today, going to the footie tomorrow..

So I'm guessing a cheap bag from Harrods and a single malt...

small umbrella with the harrods logo, mil with be envy of all the women on her soi. come the raining season

now be careful, but what team do you support, could make a lot of enemies rather quickly around this forum if you support some particular teams

[thaihome]

OP. Ignore most of what you have heard here. Sounds to me like you know what you are getting into and are wiling to invest the time and money needed to make a relationship with a woman from a developing country, with all that entails, work.

I would not give the family any money upfront as gift. If as you say she went to a private Catholic school, chances are her family is middle class (something most here don’t ever know exists in Thailand) and might be insulted. Not every family is poor, there are actually many that do quite well.

Good luck,

TH

[smokie36]

London... So plenty of shops. Only it needs to be today, going to the footie tomorrow..

So I'm guessing a cheap bag from Harrods and a single malt...

Forget Harrods mate...think Walworth Road.

Whisky for dad and a box of chocolates for mum. Job done.

Just to add you can buy 'em in the duty free cheaper anyway.

Edited March 26, 2010 by smokie36

[yabaaaa]

It's interesting to see "why" so many Thai women see this as there golden way out of a hum drum life when there are so many people like this queuing up to commit this sort of nonsense.