Camerata's Buddhist Thought For The Day

[phetaroi]

I started reading through these today for the first time. Looks like a great feature...so far...thanks for getting it going, Camerata.

I found the first one you posted about responsibility toward one's parents personally very interesting:

"Bhikkhus, I declare that there are two persons one can never repay. What two? One's mother and father. Even if one should carry about one's mother on one shoulder and one's father on the other, and so doing should live a hundred years.... Moreover, if one should set them up as supreme rulers, having absolute rule over the wide earth abounding in the seven treasures - not even by this could one repay one's parents. For what reason? Parents do a lot for their children: they bring them up, provide them with food, introduce them to the world. Yet, bhikkhus, whoever encourages their faithless parents, and settles and establishes them in faith; or whoever encourages their immoral parents and settles and establishes them in morality, or whoever encourages their stingy parents, and settles and establishes them in generosity, or whoever encourages their foolish parents, and settles and establishes them in wisdom - such a person, in this way repays, more than repays, what is due to their parents."

This is a tough one for me.

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and I was raised by grandparents. My father was an alcoholic from his teenage years up until he was almost 60, when he had a massive stroke and heart attack...from which he surprisingly recovered almost fully. I always tolerated his drinking, always maintained contact, did anything he ever asked of me...although he rarely asked anything. We had a decent relationship, all considered. No hard feelings on my part.

My mother was a very independent woman. She asked for virtually nothing. I was the closest one to her in the family, although we still did not have the kind of parent-child relationship most people would desire. In later years the relationship was quite good, though not spectacular. She had her life, I had mine, we lived in different states, yet we both initiated frequent contact by telephone and twice yearly visits.

Now the Buddha, in the above, states that, "Parents do a lot for their children..." But what if they don't do all those things the Buddha outlined? I understand that he implies one should lead parents to change. Easier said than done.

I'd just be interested in any further comments anyone had about this.

[fabianfred]

The Thais are told to treat their parents as...'the monks at home'....or...'the arahants at home'...and even if they are bad parents and abusive we should never get angry at them or hate them since that creates bad karma for us.

Buddha said that IF you can reform bad parents then you will have repaid them..... but if not that doesn't mean you failed in your duties.

We cannot easily repay them for the golden opportunity of human rebirth they gave us...... but even the Buddha knew that he could not teach everyone, and some you just have to let go to fare according to their karma.

[agent69]

Even if they had not performed the usual duties most parents would have done, they are the reason we are all here. Without them, we would not be here seeking all these answers.