Pompoui

[zzdocxx]

Haha when I was called "moo uan" I was told it meant "so cute".

(btw I am NOT fat, just big-boned.)

[SiangDeeMahk]

As a side-note, to my knowIedge, pompoui is simiIar to "chubby" or "IittIe bit pudgy", not fat. Fat is "Uan". But maybe those with better knowIedge of Thai Ianguage can confirm that.

I highly doubt that I'm more knowledgeable than you, but I have come across (and now occasionally use) this word: "ปุ้มปุ้ย" (bpoom bpuy)

I can confirm that it's an accepted polite word for chubby. Especially cute for chubby babies. Probably still not a great word to saunder up to a completely strange girl and blurt out..

For the more curious, here's a link: http://www.thai-language.com/id/211313

[StreetCowboy]

"so what is the thai word for ugly....next time hear pompoui...i will counter with ugly

and thai for '' i may be fat but your ugly and i can lose weight''

Of course that retort only works if you are less ugly than the person you are talking to.

and you welcome a clap in the chops slap in the face

SC

[F1fanatic]

A friend of mine occasionally told his Thai gf that her tummy was getting fat - she definitely did not take it as a compliment.

Obviously just because one Thai woman found it offensive doesn't mean that all Thais would take offense, but I suspect the vast majority being bluntly told by a stranger that they're fat, would find this hurtful, even if they didn't show it. Being fat is not considered attractive in Thailand. I could well be wrong though (wouldn't be the first time! )

If the (Thai) recipient of such a comment would find it hurtful, then dare I suggest (again) that it is not 'OK' that it is considered 'culturally' acceptable? Perhaps the 'culture' is wrong?

IMO trying not to hurt other's feelings (for no good reason) is 'more civilised' - yes, horrible phrase - but, god help us if we stop striving to be more civilised!

[Razzler1973]

And what's with the Thai monkio (spelling ???) thing. Sometimes my GF's monkio attacks are somewhere between highly amusing and downright scary ... esp. with my willie. While there's no equivalent word in English I equate it to the feeling/emotion one experiences upon seeing a really cute baby whereby you get an overwhelming feeling and exclaim "You are sooooo cute I could just squeeze you to death." This is a very curious human emotion.

That's pretty much what 'mun kieow' is really, like 'aaah, I could squeeze you/kiss you/tickle you/want to touch you' etc and it is done to babies as well

[Razzler1973]

Also, as someone said above the Thai word for ugly (nah-gliat) is not very commonly used anyway, it's pretty rude, if you said it to someone it would be deemed a lot more offensive than pom-poui. Even if a Thai doesn't consider someone good looking or attractive they are more than likely to use 'mai suay' or not beautiful rather than an outright 'ugly'

[somtampet]

Good, at least you are not changloy

Thought it was changnoi

[GrahamF]

I have to agree with SBK, it really is a cultural thing and I have quickly learned not to take offense at some of the things that Thais and other Asians may say. Generally, it is not intended to be hurtful and I really believe that. I have found that it is usually very easy to deal with it in a good natured way and make a joke of it.

In 2008 I was introduced to a friend of a friend, wonderful woman who has a masters degree and helps to run her families businesses, 2 hotels & a travel agency. Upon seeing her again about a year later, she gave me a hug and then put her hand on my stomach and said "Oooooh Graham, you have gained weight." She was right, I had put on about 10-15 pounds due to lack of exercise. My response was, "Yes, you're right, I have gained weight because I have not been exercising enough, (then I gave her a big grin and lifted my eyebrows) Perhaps you would like to come to my apartment tonight and help me exercise?" She and everyone else laughed like heck and then she took us to lunch. My point is that this woman is not a close friend, but her comment and my reply did not offend anyone, whereas in the West, I think the whole conversation might be deemed inappropriate. I don't think that I would ever have made such a comment to a casual friend back here in the USA, and I doubt that someone I know casually would tell me I have gained weight, but TIT and I think some of us need to remember that.

One other thing to remember, especially for those who are feeling a little pumpui, is that the general Thai body image is so much different from those in the West. I know some Thai ladies who wouldn't weigh more than 100 lbs when soaking wet and they think they are pumpui!

[IanForbes]

Good post, GrahamF. I agree with you and sbk. Spoken comments (and written comments) can often be taken two ways. As sbk says, you can usually tell when someone is being nasty. Those people are contemptable and it's not worth your time responding. It's THEIR problem, not yours. I've heard MANY people in Canada say... "I was only joking", but you know they were really just being nasty. It's your option to reply or just ignore them with a knowing frown.

[StreetCowboy]

Good post, GrahamF. I agree with you and sbk. Spoken comments (and written comments) can often be taken two ways. As sbk says, you can usually tell when someone is being nasty. Those people are contemptable and it's not worth your time responding. It's THEIR problem, not yours. I've heard MANY people in Canada say... "I was only joking", but you know they were really just being nasty. It's your option to reply or just ignore them with a knowing frown.

I think when people say "I was only joking" they mean "it was pure spite, with no basis in fact", but they lack the honesty to admit it, even to themselves. If they'd been joking, they'd have been smiling or added a subtle twist.

I suppose it could also be that they are lacking in the sense of humour department, and it really was a genuine attempt at humour, limited only by their lack of wit.

Probably best to give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume that they were being spiteful, or witless, whichever is the lesser,

SC

[sawatdeeyesitsme]

As a side-note, to my knowIedge, pompoui is simiIar to "chubby" or "IittIe bit pudgy", not fat. Fat is "Uan". But maybe those with better knowIedge of Thai Ianguage can confirm that.

Not good with my Thai but I have been told by friends pompoui is ok but Uan (Pee???) is very impolite.

I get comments about my weight all the time as well and I've lost a lot of weight since I've been here and they keep on coming. Sometimes they will say I'm fat but other days they'll tell me how pom I look. It just depends. Usually I make jokes about it to pre-empt them if I sense that they're in a pompoui frame of mind.

Usually, I think it is just joking or as a previous poster said, Thai's tend to just say what pop into their minds. Like a farang friend of mine told me of a time he was sat in his GF's shop eating rice, a Thai lady came in, pointed and laughed at him and then said "farang eat rice." Not funny to us but obviously tickled her.

Sometimes it rattles me and other times I just laugh with it. You could always just say someone is being "yaap krai" (rude). I said this to someone and he was very taken aback and said that I was being impolite! I explained to him saying things about other people's weight in my culture is deemed as impolite.

I wouldn't say that someone was ugly though unless you knew them quite well. Here in Isaan ugly is "kee lai". There is only one person I would ever say that to (my favourite) - I maybe pompoui but you're kee lai. He'll always just laugh and smile.

[sunspun]

even when you know they aren't meaning any offence, being call pompui everyday gets tiring. i have found a good way to explain to thais (friends...i wouldn't get into it with a stranger, or even an aquaintance) is saying that "in my country, it is not polite to talk about someones weight. it is like talking about your mom. in my culture we can make many jokes about moms and we know it is not rude. but to thai people, it is." most seem to go "oooh...i didn't know" and then stop doing it. to a stranger, i think the best way to handle it was said above..make a joke about it. they don't mean to be rude.

everytime i see my husband's aunt, the first words out of her mouth are either "oh..you pompui now nong. beautiful!" or "..wah...why so pom? no good! here...eat some rice!"

and she is about 50 kilos more than me!

ps. yes, according to my hubby, pompui is like a cute word and uan (ooan?) just means fat, however neither words are impolite and both can be used to anyone.

[BWPattaya]

The OP asked about telling someone they are ugly. Not a good idea. He will get a lot of problems if he starts hurling insults around willy-nilly.

Don't get wound up about others saying you are pompui, they are not bothered, it is just a bit of conversation. Doesn't mean the same as in the west. It is only having an effect because you are allowing it to.

When you get to know some people well, and have learnt a lot of Thai, you can say some things in the way you could say it to a friend back in your own country. I can say many things to some people that I would never say to someone I do not know well.

[Chestnut]

In the time i lived here, i've been called "uan", "uab" and "dua yai" a lot times, and I am neither tall, nor fat. I'd be an M size in Europe, I'm XL here. In the beginning I was really offended, but now I see it a little more relaxed (okay, I'm still a little self conscious when I hear a comment about my body)

Thais really don't mean it in a mean way (most times, though I came across situations where I thought it was really mean, like friends making fun of other fat/short etc. friends), although my thai friend didn't dare to go out during songkran, cause she put on some extra kilos and everyone of her old friends would exclaim how fat she was when seeing her.

In the beginning I wanted to tell any girl that told me I'm fat that she has small boobs or something alike. I never did. Maybe I'm going to use "mai suay lor?" next time.

Last thing my BF's friend said about me, let me really go like "what was he thinking?"

His wife recently had a baby and he made a comment that I probably would give birth easily, because I was "dua yai".

As it was said before - sometimes they just say what they're thinking and it is much less a taboo as it is in Europe/America.

[Ave]

If the same person who sees me everyday keeps reminding me that I'm fat - even when I'm not - I let them see my best expression of boredom. I sometimes jokingly tell them that I'm lucky to have farang friends around who would rather lie and tell me that I look thin instead! We share a laugh and the differences between farang and Thais and everything's ok.

Edited April 17, 2010 by Ave

[Boo]

I remember once using the following, in thai but I wont bother with phonetic translation;

Girl I vaguely knew who was very skinny - Ohh you look fat (said maliciously)

Me - I know, sexy yes? I don't like skinny, makes face look too old.

Girl I vaguely knew - Silence whilst she digested & then confusion whilst she tried to figure out if she got insulted or not.

I know I am taller & bigger than any thai women so don't care really as it isn't some sort of competition, I like my height & build & I have never placed my worth on how skinny I can get but sometimes when I pick up the "bitch vibe" in a comment I like to make a dig back to them somehow. More to make them aware that they aren't playing that game with me than to make me feel better, although it does

[IanForbes]

I remember once using the following, in thai but I wont bother with phonetic translation;

Girl I vaguely knew who was very skinny - Ohh you look fat (said maliciously)

Me - I know, sexy yes? I don't like skinny, makes face look too old.

Girl I vaguely knew - Silence whilst she digested & then confusion whilst she tried to figure out if she got insulted or not.

I know I am taller & bigger than any thai women so don't care really as it isn't some sort of competition, I like my height & build & I have never placed my worth on how skinny I can get but sometimes when I pick up the "bitch vibe" in a comment I like to make a dig back to them somehow. More to make them aware that they aren't playing that game with me than to make me feel better, although it does

Clever strategy, Boo. I tried to teach my children the same method. Use your brain to put down the opposition in a clever manner. Agree with them and turn it into something funny... but with a dig. It works very well on bullies.

[too true]

Well, just got back from the village last night, after spending 10 days there.

Every year there's a new complaint. This year my skin was too dark and my shoulders too big (have spent the past few months swimming every day - trying lose weight to avoid being called fat in the village).

Asked my husband how I should answer their fat comments. His response was that I should say that my husband takes very good care of me. That seemed to work and they would just laugh and hug me. But there's one girl I've never got on well with - she's the sister of a very good friend of mine. When I walked into her house she said "oh, are you pregnant again?" really bitchy-like. I pretended to be surprised and said "oh, pii, I didn't recognize you with your short hair. I thought you were your mom! No, I'm not pregnant. I'm just happier than I was last time." The men sitting around the table started chuckling. I gave her a sweet smile and walked in the door. She came about 5 minutes after and offered me some coconut juice. Touche.

Thai people don't seem to have the filters that we develop or are taught when we're 4 or 5 years old. Sometimes younger girls make mean-spirited comments, particularly if you're taking some of their spotlight away. But I've found in general that Thai people comment on our bodies the same way they comment on hair colour or height. They weigh themselves anytime they see a scale, you can't even get medicine from a doctor without being weighed.

They're not likely to change, so you have to put up with it or get your rubber skin out and let everything bounce off.

[IanForbes]

But there's one girl I've never got on well with - she's the sister of a very good friend of mine. When I walked into her house she said "oh, are you pregnant again?" really bitchy-like. I pretended to be surprised and said "oh, pii, I didn't recognize you with your short hair. I thought you were your mom! No, I'm not pregnant. I'm just happier than I was last time." The men sitting around the table started chuckling. I gave her a sweet smile and walked in the door. She came about 5 minutes after and offered me some coconut juice. Touche.

The "AGE" come-back is always a good one, too true. Thai women are very concious of looking old. Many Thai women consider themselves getting old once they reach 30... even though that is still considered young by European and North American standards. I know when I comment on a woman for looking much younger than her actual years they always take it as a high compliment... and I receive a nice smile in return. I don't make any comment that will be taken negatively unless someone zings me first.

[Boo]

After 3 months in Samui where I put an effort into getting a tan for once in my lilly white skinned life you can imagine the comments I got from the family women. My mil was very upset cause I was so "dum". Now, considering I am a blonde haired blue eyes anglo with skandic roots somewhere back in the day there is never going to be any time in my life I will be "dum".

I was at that time slightly golden & compared to some of my hardcore sunbathing mates on samui I was still glow in the dark white when I left but here of course they only know me for having such prized white skin, it wasn't said nasty though, only with the sort of disappointment that "ruining" yourself can come from older parentals.

After 3 weeks up here where there is little to do & everyone hide out in the house till sundown i am whitening up again so the convos between the women of how beautiful my skin colour is getting again are becoming more frequent. Quite annoying as I was hoping to dazzle my own sister & mum with my one & only tan when I go back to visit end of this month

[sbk]

But you do have lovely skin Boo. I have learned to prize my white skin. Some of Thailand has rubbed off I guess. Cause, like you, I glow in the dark

Funny what some would consider an insult, others would just consider a comment, tho, innit?

[Boo]

Thank you dear, yes I didn't go for the orange dayglow look that seems to be popular in the west but I did enjoy having a nice light tan, I looked healthier imo.

[F1fanatic]

Good post, GrahamF. I agree with you and sbk. Spoken comments (and written comments) can often be taken two ways. As sbk says, you can usually tell when someone is being nasty. Those people are contemptable and it's not worth your time responding. It's THEIR problem, not yours. I've heard MANY people in Canada say... "I was only joking", but you know they were really just being nasty. It's your option to reply or just ignore them with a knowing frown.

I think when people say "I was only joking" they mean "it was pure spite, with no basis in fact", but they lack the honesty to admit it, even to themselves. If they'd been joking, they'd have been smiling or added a subtle twist.

I suppose it could also be that they are lacking in the sense of humour department, and it really was a genuine attempt at humour, limited only by their lack of wit.

Probably best to give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume that they were being spiteful, or witless, whichever is the lesser,

SC

Good advice and accurate.

Funny thing though (going back to SBK and Boo's posts), I prefer not to get too tanned anymore. Just as well as its certainly too hot to sunbathe, but I catch the sun out on my motorbike.

As I only go 'so' brown and not any darker, it works well for me. But I DO burn.

Recently I've been caught by suprise and burnt when only out for a short time. Something that didn't happen in the past. Another topic though as to whether the sun is getting stronger.

[eurasianthai]

Usually (but not always) its not meant as an insult.

It is not indeed, this usually means in Thai "cute fatty".

But not the case of the OP, I'm afraid...

[F1fanatic]

Looking forward to hearing how Johnniey gets on telling his wife she's pompui.

Hopefully she'll see it as "cute fatty" and not be upset.

[MiG16]

As a side-note, to my knowIedge, pompoui is simiIar to "chubby" or "IittIe bit pudgy", not fat. Fat is "Uan". But maybe those with better knowIedge of Thai Ianguage can confirm that.

My understanding is that 'pom pui' is a less euphemistic way of saying "you're looking well", or "prosperous".

pumpui or tuinui both are used for chubby, but in mostly friendly way (at least to my knowledge) never heard anyone use the word 'he/she is puppui or tuinui' except in a non malicious way

In fact, there are a lot of people who might tell someone this because they actually LIKE it (as hard as that may be for some of you to believe). Being a bit chubby can be considered cute here, possibly because it is a minority appearance type (as is being a foreigner).

very often we tend to use the 2 expressions i mentioned when talking about babies that we find very lovey dovey cute

and I believe the same lovey dovey warmth is applied also when the terms are used with adults

Haha when I was called "moo uan" I was told it meant "so cute".

i know someone whose BF/husband calls her 'moo uan' but in the most loving way. are you my friend? she is far from fat!

[Johnniey]

Looking forward to hearing how Johnniey gets on telling his wife she's pompui.

Hopefully she'll see it as "cute fatty" and not be upset.

'poom pui' is a polite way of saying fat - often used with babies.

It also means to have a rich kinda lifestyle, eating and drinking well .

I've often heard it misused by foreigners - I won't be saying that to my wife.

It's rude to call a stranger that - they probably didn't think you understood. However, to insult them back is the wrong thing to do - just politely say that you understand(if you speak Thai).

[F1fanatic]

Looking forward to hearing how Johnniey gets on telling his wife she's pompui.

Hopefully she'll see it as "cute fatty" and not be upset.

'poom pui' is a polite way of saying fat - often used with babies.

It also means to have a rich kinda lifestyle, eating and drinking well .

I've often heard it misused by foreigners - I won't be saying that to my wife.

It's rude to call a stranger that - they probably didn't think you understood. However, to insult them back is the wrong thing to do - just politely say that you understand(if you speak Thai).

I rest my case...

[chantaal]

I can't stand that about living here. That and the taxi drivers who try to rip people off are the biggest problems I have with living here. It is so bad it makes me question the state of humanity. But I do get over it.

It is cultural- the kids do it to each other in class, and my mom (who is Thai) talks to family members like that.

It upsets me when I see it in a class when I am teaching. They say they are joking, but the damage is visible- head lowers when being insulted. I tell them that it is very bad manners and unnecessary. No one needs to talk to anyone like that.

Rude is rude, my mom says "You know, Thai people are like that. It's okay." I disagree. I see my kids hurt in class and I know how horrible it feels to be called mai suay (and my daughter too) by strangers when we didn't do anything to them or ask their opinion about our appearance.

It is shocking and I don't even know how to react, excpet as Johnniey said: by politely telling them I or my daughter can speak and understand Thai

[sbk]

Kids are vicious little creatures, prone to picking on the different, the strange and the ugly. Mai suay is absolutely not even remotely in the same class as pompui.

We moved alot when I was a kid, and so I was almost always the new kid in town. Some places were ok, and the kids were nice, and some places were horrible and the kids mean and nasty. IME, alot depends on the school and teacher and what they allow the kids to get away with.