Panties With Gps !

[bambob]

Cheating wife? Try GPS panties

By Lester Haines

Published Tuesday 31st May 2005 10:11 GMT

The forget-me-not pantiesThose readers who suspect that their other half may be playing away from home, or that their teenage daughter is currently getting down and dirty with some spotty ne'er-do-well are pointed in the direction of the ultimate errant female tracking device: the truly sensational forget-me-not panties.

It's fair to say that while we at Vulture Central often pour scorn on abuses of technology, we reckon that these hi-tech undergarments represent the very pinnacle of human achievement in the world of GPS. It's all pretty simple, really:

These panties will monitor the location of your daughter, wife or girlfriend 24 hours a day, and can even monitor their heart rate and body temperature. Based on pioneering research developed by the U.S. military at DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency), we have brought this revolutionary technology, previously only available to the military, to you!

These "panties" can trace the exact location of your woman and send the information, via satellite, to your cell phone, PDA, and PC simultaneously! Use our patented mapping system, pantyMap®, to find the exact location of your loved one 24 hours a day.

The technology is embedded into a piece of fabric so seamlessly she will never know it's there!

It works, too. Here are two satisfied customers who owe their peace of mind to forget-me-not panties. Take it away David:

When my daughter hit puberty I nearly had a heart attack. She started looking like a woman and suddenly she was wearing revealing clothing and staying out late with her friends.

Rather than become an over-protective parent, I decided to try forget-me-not panties™.

They work wonderfully. My wife and I bought our Sarah several pairs so we can watch her around the clock, and if we see her temperature rising too high, we intervene by calling her cellphone or just picking her up wherever she is. My only comment is it would be great to have a video camera, maybe you can work that into V.2.

Thanks forget-me-not panties™, now we have true peace of mind.

Good show. And here's a cautionary tale from Tim:

My wife and I got married three years ago. Last winter I started suspecting her of cheating. It was tearing my heart out to think of her with another man.

In an act of desperation I bought these panties, and boy am I glad I did.

It turns out, she was sleeping with her coworker! She was going to a hotel near her office nearly every workday.

I monitored her through the mapping software, pantyMap®, for several weeks, and then I confronted her...

You know the rest. Anyone interested in acquiring some forget-me-not panties should note that they are currently out of stock but should be available within 30 days. In the meantime, we suggest that the tried-and-trusted methods of either a) checking your wife's text message inbox or following her 24 hours a day in a blacked-out vehicle, should plug the infidelity-busting gap until the arrival of the forget-me-not panties. ®

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www.theregister.co.uk

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how would these work in LOS ?

prolly the sattelite would explode due to overloaded circiuts

[ProfessorFart]

What you really need is something to gauge the up and down motion of the knockers.........

[ProfessorFart]

Ooops! I meant 'Knickers'

Sorry about the typo but the GF was on the phone at the time of typing.

[Khutan]

and here was me thinking this was June 1, not April 1

[bangsaen bob]

Maybe I should get a pair, then I can figure out where I went the night prior.

[daleyboy]

What a great product

The only trouble is i prefer girls that go commando. Added to that you would need to buy at least 10 pairs one for each day of the week pairs in the wash etc.

IMHO You would be better off having a movement sensor in a watch then if she is servicing someone you could measure the stroke length and frequency!!! and the pulse rate.

[toklong]

The V.T.P. will now have the ability to apprehend the panty bandits.

[Rj 81]

IMHO  You would be better off having a movement sensor in a watch then if she is servicing someone you could measure the stroke length and frequency!!! and the pulse rate.

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[mnoorsapl]

Cheating wife? Try GPS panties

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In LOS there were many others, just let her go. But the GPS panties

[bambob]

ok for north ,south,east and west directions ,but what about up and down ?

[CrossBones]

What about this mobile phone tracking software? I read something about a website in the UK that can be used to find the exact location of any mobile if its turned on. You have to reply to a text message to the company to allow them to track you. Would sell well over here, perhaps a hidden voice activated mic.

[snoophound]

GPS ON CELL uses triangulation

Accurate to around 30m

The New assisted GPS phones will be more accurate.

You then need to tie it to a web based mapping system.

All will be commonplace by end year for a small sub fee.

I am pretty sure Thaksin has this on his radar.

What about this mobile phone tracking software? I read something about a website in the UK that can be used to find the exact location of any mobile if its turned on. You have to reply to a text message to the company to allow them to track you. Would sell well over here, perhaps a hidden voice activated mic.

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