Divorces In Thailand

[Mason45]

My Thai wife and I aren't happy together after 7 years marriage, what her problems are I simply don't know and she won't even talk about it. I take care of everything, I'm a social drinker, don't do drugs, never play around with other women and certainly never become violent, so what's gone wrong I simply don't know. It appears to me that divorce is the only way out, I still love her very much but she's making my life unbearable. So if we were to get a divorce what would I be entitled to, we have our own property, modern car and expensive furniture, as for her substantial amount of gold she can keep that. She changed her name to my family name the day after we were married. When we purchased our property I'm sure I signed my name at least once. She hasn't contributed one baht to our assets but will I be eligible for a 50/50 settlement, if so I'll proceed for divorce very soon. By the way our age difference is only11 years, I'm not a geriatric daddy with a former 20yo bar girl. Thanks.

[astral]

I am sorry to hear about your problems.

If you can agree to a disbursement of the the family assets,

I am not sure it has to be 50/50, then you can go to the local amphur

and the divorce is very simple.

Otherwise you are going to need a lawyer.

I am worried about the property that you own.

I rather doubt that it is in your name, and that may present you with a problem.

[Mario2008]

There is a pinned topic about Thai family law in the family section here: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Thai-Family-Law-t313877.html

Inthere there is a good article about Thai divorce law: http://www.thailawonline.com/en/divorce-in...-under-thai-law

In Thailand, if no prenuptial agreement was made, you devide all the assests that were aquired during the marriage, what each party had before the marriage is left out.

The easiest way to divorce is at the amphur, which you can only do when you both agree to the divorce. if you go to court you can only divorce on the grounds mentioned in the law.

During the divorce at the amohur, you can enter any arrangement you make rearding the property (and children if you have them). It doesn't have to be 50-50.

[Loz]

Sorry for your troubles.

Have you ever played Roulette? Well, the odds in a Thai Divorce of a farang (when not amicable) are probably worse that the roulette wheel.

The property might be shared but a pound to a pinch of <deleted>, the land is hers. Brace yourself for a financial damaging experience and then anything good that happens will be a bonus.

On a side note. May I just ask, for the good years (however many there were) and their memory is it not just worth walking away? Take the cars and bikes (your next girlfriend could use them) and anything you can fit in them and get the flock out of Dodge. New town, fresh start and let the vetting process begin!

Happy Songkran!

[Garry9999]

When we purchased our property I'm sure I signed my name at least once.

That was probably the declaration that the money to purchase the property was not supplied by you.

[simpathy]

you might as well be a geritric type who married a drink worker. maybe she has reached the point where milking you for more isnt worth it.

sounds like you been behaving as the proverbial atm! you both own property-meansing she owns it, cars, expensive furniture, lots of gold, what else................when will you guys learn?

european i presume?

[Mason45]

you might as well be a geritric type who married a drink worker. maybe she has reached the point where milking you for more isnt worth it.

sounds like you been behaving as the proverbial atm! you both own property-meansing she owns it, cars, expensive furniture, lots of gold, what else................when will you guys learn?

I lived with my wife to be for 12 months prior to marrying her, it was such a wonderful year together but all my problems seem to have arisen in the last 2 years. She's very secure, she even has her own private health coverage, she has things that many Isaan women wouldn't even dream about. Her 2 adult daughters and their partners really like me and her young grandson idolises me. " when will you guys learn " may apply to some guy marrying a female who's his grand daughters age but in my case I'm married to a 53 yo grand mother. If I've been stupid then what about the 30% divorce rate in the western World, were all those guys stupid too and never learn't.

[needforspeed]

OP, i hd some problems as well months ago.

My advice keep on speaking terms with your wife, try to find a way to borrow money on your house.

(buy land for her, good time to invest in gold) something she loves to hear.

Take this money for yourself and deposit into a overseas bankaccount.

Travel with her for a holiday and let friend take you value goods out off the house.

You need to planned into the details and this is going to take some time, dont let emotion play part in this, make a plan and stick to it.

At my topic you can read all the steps i made.

(why me , 20 years in bangkok 16 years together)

All the best,

NFS

[simpathy]

all these things your wife has. how did she get them? knowing the answer would help us in giving you guidance

[Mason45]

all these things your wife has. how did she get them? knowing the answer would help us in giving you guidance

I paid for every single item in good faith considering how good our relationship was prior to the last 2 years. If she get's the lot then I'll just move on but if I can cut my losses I will. I'd never do anything to hurt my wife or put her through the poverty that she endured all her life before she met me. I sense she could be going through some mental trauma brought about by something I've got no idea about, it's not menopause she's past that. My biggest problem is she won't discuss anything because everytime this is brought up she tells me there's no problems just me being stupid, how can I communicate with a person with a mindset like that.

[a2396]

all these things your wife has. how did she get them? knowing the answer would help us in giving you guidance

I paid for every single item in good faith considering how good our relationship was prior to the last 2 years. If she get's the lot then I'll just move on but if I can cut my losses I will. I'd never do anything to hurt my wife or put her through the poverty that she endured all her life before she met me. I sense she could be going through some mental trauma brought about by something I've got no idea about, it's not menopause she's past that. My biggest problem is she won't discuss anything because everytime this is brought up she tells me there's no problems just me being stupid, how can I communicate with a person with a mindset like that.

Open communication is not exactly a strong suit for most Thai women. I would assume you knew about this characteristic before you married her. I would try to get her to talk, if possible. Unfortunately, you have put yourself to a disadvantage financially, as most of these love-hungry gents do here.

[sarahsbloke]

My biggest problem is she won't discuss anything because everytime this is brought up she tells me there's no problems just me being stupid, how can I communicate with a person with a mindset like that.

Yar kit mak, Yar poot mak (อย่าคิดมากอย่าพูดมาก)

Don't think too much, don't talk too much

Two very popular Thai sayings. Maybe if you tried doing things the Thai way there would be less of a problem.

Western people put too much importance on "communicating" and not enough importance on living IMHO.

[simpathy]

all these things your wife has. how did she get them? knowing the answer would help us in giving you guidance

I paid for every single item in good faith considering how good our relationship was prior to the last 2 years. If she get's the lot then I'll just move on but if I can cut my losses I will. I'd never do anything to hurt my wife or put her through the poverty that she endured all her life before she met me. I sense she could be going through some mental trauma brought about by something I've got no idea about, it's not menopause she's past that. My biggest problem is she won't discuss anything because everytime this is brought up she tells me there's no problems just me being stupid, how can I communicate with a person with a mindset like that.

Open communication is not exactly a strong suit for most Thai women. I would assume you knew about this characteristic before you married her. I would try to get her to talk, if possible. Unfortunately, you have put yourself to a disadvantage financially, as most of these love-hungry gents do here.

maybe open communication is this case would be not so good.

what if lady says im happy you bought me a lot of things, but know i need a man to love

[a2396]

My biggest problem is she won't discuss anything because everytime this is brought up she tells me there's no problems just me being stupid, how can I communicate with a person with a mindset like that.

Yar kit mak, Yar poot mak (อย่าคิดมากอย่าพูดมาก)

Don't think too much, don't talk too much

Two very popular Thai sayings. Maybe if you tried doing things the Thai way there would be less of a problem.

Western people put too much importance on "communicating" and not enough importance on living IMHO.

A relationship with poor or no communication = zero and a recipie for problems. I hardly think Thais, who have good marriages to a Thai partner, would have such a problem. No communication often is the Thai way. when dealing with a foreigner, partly by intention and partly due to language inadequacies.

[sarahsbloke]

I don't think that men and women generally communicate well, thinking process far too different.

Having a language barrier appears to be a bonus to me, you don't have to pretend .......................

"me gon yii mai? ....... mai cow jai!" ....... end of potential problem.

To the OP, don't worry too much (ไม่สนใจ)

Or as a last resort why not learn to speak Thai!

[Garry9999]

"me gon yii mai? ....... mai cow jai!" ....... end of potential problem.

People who try to write Thai language using the English alphabet really crack me up.

[Loz]

[Lumumba]

Find the village loan shark and borrow against the house.

[a2396]

all these things your wife has. how did she get them? knowing the answer would help us in giving you guidance

I paid for every single item in good faith considering how good our relationship was prior to the last 2 years. If she get's the lot then I'll just move on but if I can cut my losses I will. I'd never do anything to hurt my wife or put her through the poverty that she endured all her life before she met me. I sense she could be going through some mental trauma brought about by something I've got no idea about, it's not menopause she's past that. My biggest problem is she won't discuss anything because everytime this is brought up she tells me there's no problems just me being stupid, how can I communicate with a person with a mindset like that.

Open communication is not exactly a strong suit for most Thai women. I would assume you knew about this characteristic before you married her. I would try to get her to talk, if possible. Unfortunately, you have put yourself to a disadvantage financially, as most of these love-hungry gents do here.

maybe open communication is this case would be not so good.

what if lady says im happy you bought me a lot of things, but know i need a man to love

Better to lay the cards on the table and see if there is any solution, than sneaking around in secret behind the partner's back.

[Boo]

spam post deleted & post quting it removed. Apologies to the replying poster who's post was removed but it quoted the spam & had to be removed too.

[Birdman]

"me gon yii mai? ....... mai cow jai!" ....... end of potential problem.

People who try to write Thai language using the English alphabet really crack me up.

Garreeedamaikhunmaikaowchaipasadthaipaepbankuhnkianpasadthaipeapangreed?

[wallhigh]

When we purchased our property I'm sure I signed my name at least once.

That was probably the declaration that the money to purchase the property was not supplied by you.

agreed, the document you sign at the amphur is that the money provided by you is not

yours and you have no claim to the property... quite discriminatory actually, and the main

reason i decided against buying anything here... it just doesnt smell right, i bring in 1.5 million

for land, then have to sign a document saying the money is not mine.

many countries have fair laws where foreigners can own land, and for me personally, that is

a better choice.

as for the other points, take everything you can, and put it into a rented house. i am sure if the

divorce is not amicable, she will keep the land + house 100%

on another point, if you can prove that you paid for the house, then the physical house is yours.

you mentioned you love her and dont want to hurt her, thats your choice. my understanding is you

are entitled to remove the house, as that is your property - me personally i would bulldozer it, leave

the bare land for her. sell the rubble. but thats just me.

one more point - try to prevent her from talking too much to other "falang wives", she will get many many

ideas to spite you and bleed you dry. just the experience here in chiang mai with a few british and german

divorced guys who have been screwed over. and they never stop complaining....

best of luck to you.

[aussiebebe]

I'm very sorry to hear about the problems the OP is facing, but I thought I'd comment as no-one's took any notice of the OP's first sentence '.....and she won't talk about it.' Let's not forget marriage counselling! Thailand, especially Bangkok, has so many resources and opportunities to help you, just search on a search engine for your nearest. You can find many marriage and family therapists who have Western training.

[IanForbes]

Considering the divorce rate for first time marriages in North America is around 50%, and second time marriages higher than that, ALL MARRIAGES ARE GAMBLE! I believe the divorce rate is much lower in Thailand, but that is just an average. There are many extenuating circumstances that change every relationship. Because a foreigner can NOT own land in Thailand, then EVERY purchase should be considered a charity of some sort. You'll never get close to full value back. I had two marriages in Canada and never did anything wrong, but that didn't mean I didn't get screwed in the divorce settlement. As it turned out, both women did me a favour by ending our marriage.

If you can't make amends with the woman then just walk away. Possessions are just things that tie you down. And, unless you haven't an income, and actually NEED the money from the settlement of the building on the property, then it's not worth fighting over. Take what you can pack in the car and drive away. As I've said many times in Thailand... accept that anything you invest in Thailand as a form of charity. Never invest in anything you can't just walk away from with few regrets. Your freedom is worth more than ANY financial crap.

When you get close to the end of your alloted days on earth, possessions mean absolutely nothing.

[Livinginexile]

I'm very sorry to hear about the problems the OP is facing, but I thought I'd comment as no-one's took any notice of the OP's first sentence '.....and she won't talk about it.' Let's not forget marriage counselling! Thailand, especially Bangkok, has so many resources and opportunities to help you, just search on a search engine for your nearest. You can find many marriage and family therapists who have Western training.

And that's going to work with a woman who is hel_l bent on ripping him off!!

Jesus you love struck guys crack me up sometimes

[simpathy]

When we purchased our property I'm sure I signed my name at least once.

That was probably the declaration that the money to purchase the property was not supplied by you.

one more point - try to prevent her from talking too much to other "falang wives", she will get many many

ideas to spite you and bleed you dry. just the experience here in chiang mai with a few british and german

divorced guys who have been screwed over. and they never stop complaining....

best of luck to you.

hasnt the buffalo already left the barn.

op paid for everything she has , and she has a lot, even health insurance

[Carib]

When we purchased our property I'm sure I signed my name at least once.

That was probably the declaration that the money to purchase the property was not supplied by you.

one more point - try to prevent her from talking too much to other "falang wives", she will get many many

ideas to spite you and bleed you dry. just the experience here in chiang mai with a few british and german

divorced guys who have been screwed over. and they never stop complaining....

best of luck to you.

hasnt the buffalo already left the barn.

op paid for everything she has , and she has a lot, even health insurance

You really are a symphatic person aren't you Simpathy.

Must be very nice to comment on someone else's problem in the way that you do.

Now try something constructive and helpful for a change , or isn't that possible with your way of thinking.

[simpathy]

guys like op cant be saved!

but maybe a new guy in the village can learn how not to do things! if people cant learn from guys like op then lets just have a beer!

[Carib]

guys like op cant be saved!

but maybe a new guy in the village can learn how not to do things! if people cant learn from guys like op then lets just have a beer!

Not with you, thanks. Hope everything goes well and as planned in your life.

[Loz]