What about "Kick her in the renal medulla, Abdullah"

I'll get my coat......

Love it!

A friend of mine took up with a woman in Hua Hin.

He was suspicious, but deeply enamoured with this lady.

He was happy the way he was, living in a rented app'tmt, but she wanted him to buy a nice big house.

Unknown to her, he rented a house and had a deed made up ( from a local street vendor) to look like the real thing...stamp & all. He had a formal dressed friend pop round to get her to sign it. The document was all in Thai and proclaimed her the outright owner of the property.

From that day forward, he watched her attitude change. In the end, she made his life hel_l. He had good grounds to believe she was seeing someone. Most others knew this as a fact.

When the penny dropped; he said he would leave. He said they should sell the house and come to an arrangement. She said it was all hers and he would not get a penny.

She said he could have the car. He said he would like the motor bike too. She accepted.

He went.

Her lover moved in.

2 weeks later, the owner arrived requesting the rent arrears.

She was enraged & showed him the title deeds.

She was homeless within days.

Priceless.

Tell her you are going back to your home country for a few weeks, tell her to go home to her friends or family then contact her and tell her you are not coming back.

Edited May 2, 201016 yr by saintofsilence

Get a new hoe joe

Edited May 2, 201016 yr by sarahsbloke

With a bit of poetic license,

Just take back her key, Lee.....

"Just take back her key, Lee"..... And set your self free!!!

Seriously, the absolutely least painful way is for HER to leave you for antother guy......that way she won't loose face. See if you can set her up with a friend [or stranger better] and let her make the move.

Post her foto and see if any of the hungry mongers on Thaivisa would want her.

be honest.. tell her you want to move on, but you still respect her, and want to remain friends..let her down as gently as possible

This is not a hiso educated Thai Chinese woman who speaks perfect English. This is a farmers daughter who is estranged with her family because her mother and father are alcoholics. She speaks no English. Not even bar English.

She would have been a farmer except the work was too hard (her words).

Have you ever tried to let a Thai woman down gently? I’d love to hear the story.

Give her a shave, Dave.

No, wait...that might actually bring you two closer and lead to reconciliation.

so just

Give her a kick, Dick.

and

Tell her to go, Bro.

And you'll be fine, Stien.

She plucks daily. Not a hair anywhere except her head. I don't like shaving because of the stubble but plucking is not that bad. I actually have mixed emotions about the whole issue. Sounds like a good topic for a poll. Shaved, plucked or natural. Do you think it would fly or get closed?

Why don't you just be honest, tell her you and she are no longer an item and she has to leave, end of story... why make it complicated.

Hide all the knives Clive

She plucks daily. Not a hair anywhere except her head. I don't like shaving because of the stubble but plucking is not that bad. I actually have mixed emotions about the whole issue. Sounds like a good topic for a poll. Shaved, plucked or natural. Do you think it would fly or get closed?

I think you should zip up your fly, Guy.

What a great thread, Fred!

"Just take back her key, Lee"..... And set your self free!!!

Seriously, the absolutely least painful way is for HER to leave you for antother guy......that way she won't loose face. See if you can set her up with a friend [or stranger better] and let her make the move.

Post her foto and see if any of the hungry mongers on Thaivisa would want her.

Brilliant far thinking by jaideeguy again.............

If it works I can visualize a new classified heading. The attributes of each model may be closely questioned by respondents (a week free try out may solve this ), number of owners, number of pokes (estimated), the list could go on and on. Maybe a whole new web site with membership/advertisement allowed only to the present partners.

Might be able to incorporate my business proposal for a 'Rent a mouth" along the same vein.

She plucks daily. Not a hair anywhere except her head. I don't like shaving because of the stubble but plucking is not that bad.

You speak truth.

Why don't you just be honest, tell her you and she are no longer an item and she has to leave, end of story... why make it complicated.

I tried that. She is still here.

Stop being a muppet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVXX6NFpcT8

Edited May 2, 201016 yr by Patsycat

As long as the money is flowing, she will not leave no matter what you say.

If she is poor farm girl, as you say then 9000 baht per month is more money than she or her family have ever seen and she will not just walk away from that.

Not an easy situation but you have to cut off the cash and deal with the short term consequences. It is not going to be easy or pretty in any circumstance.

are simon and garfunkel getting royalties on this thred?Seriously "mark45" you've been with this lady for 2 years,the time for talking is over,for some reason you've put up with the short hair,the overwirght slightly,and the tattoos,so it sounds like its not been the best 2 years,but there must have been good times too.

So be generous.Buy a new strong lock,pack all her stuff and leave it outside the door on the way out,and give 2 months severance pay.Go away for a month and on coming back(if thats what you want to do)things should be ok.Its all about her not losing face and the money should do it,after all she's put up with you for 2 years too.

Why don't you just be honest, tell her you and she are no longer an item and she has to leave, end of story... why make it complicated.

I tried that. She is still here.

Well you obviusly didn't do a very good job of ending it because in the original post you said you are giving her 300 Baht a day. Why are you giving money to a girl you have finished with???

Why don't you just be honest, tell her you and she are no longer an item and she has to leave, end of story... why make it complicated.

I tried that. She is still here.

Well you obviusly didn't do a very good job of ending it because in the original post you said you are giving her 300 Baht a day. Why are you giving money to a girl you have finished with???

Woody Allen in the Movie Annie Hall should be able to answer that question:

Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.

Why don't you just be honest, tell her you and she are no longer an item and she has to leave, end of story... why make it complicated.

I tried that. She is still here.

Well you obviusly didn't do a very good job of ending it because in the original post you said you are giving her 300 Baht a day. Why are you giving money to a girl you have finished with???

Fear.

Why don't you just be honest, tell her you and she are no longer an item and she has to leave, end of story... why make it complicated.

I tried that. She is still here.

Well you obviusly didn't do a very good job of ending it because in the original post you said you are giving her 300 Baht a day. Why are you giving money to a girl you have finished with???

Fear.

Now you ARE trolling mark.

If 'fear' was the main factor you would be on your toes. She can't do much damage with a knife from 500km away.

Get on that bus, Gus

I used to live on a Soi that had a pack of vicious soi dogs. I thought about my alternatives. On my way home at night there was a cheap chicken stand. I would buy a few pieces of cheap chicken parts. The kind western people don’t eat. I would give it to the soi dogs. It cost me 20 baht. One night instead of taking a baht bus I walked home. Another group of dogs began barking at me. Quite a ways away from the my Soi,. Lo and behold, my chicken eating dogs came to my rescue. I don’t know how they knew I was coming it was 300 meters from their hangout. Nevertheless they came, chased the other dogs away and I gave them the chicken.

You guys are scaring me.

Strewth, tell her the truth, Ruth.

Opps, girls name....eh.......get it in her nogin, Robin.

Oh dear, Robin could also be a girls name....erm.....tell her shes obease, Denise.....erm bugger.....

just tell her to bog off, Prof'

Move to Chatuchak Jack

no seriously ,

move to soi eight mate

or soi Thirty one Ron

it goes on.........

A girl with tatoos galore

Decided to get one more

This irked her man

And so he ran

Though he'd miss her plucked s'more

I suggest you leave lying on the table a "things to do" list such as change oil in car, fix plumbing, pick up supplies and BREAKUP WITH GIRLFRIEND.

<snip>

... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.

Isn't that the truth, Thakkar!

Can't resist - here are a few more:

Give up the egg, Greg

Pull up to zipper, Skipper

Give her a pill, Phil

Get on the ferry, Perry

Give her the slip, Kip

Tell her to scram, Sam

Give her a slug, Doug

No need to be clever, Trevor

Give her the boot, Coot

..if all else fails:

Just call the warden, Gordon

give her a present