Darwin Awards 2005

[DJ Pat]

Darwin Awards .....2005

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here

then, are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at

his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be

robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down

the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting

machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance

company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look

for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was

approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the

space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a

Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to

be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his

incompetence, the driver went to a nearby

bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered

the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients

were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't

discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital

recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When

asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply

trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a

gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the

counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a

cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he

lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The

cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him

unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was

caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York

convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911

immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the

snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him

in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the

car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,

officer, that's her. That's the lady

I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The

clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register

without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they

weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the

scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled

sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline

and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The

owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best

laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends

and family .. unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a

distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and

hope they remain lost.

[Thomas_Merton]

..and I sing to myself "What a Wonderful World".

[SeaVisionBurma]

...and I sing to myself, why is this post not moved to the Jokes Forum where it belongs??

[RDN]

...and I sing to myself, why is this post not moved to the Jokes Forum where it belongs??

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good idea!

[dereklev]

Just goes to prove that there is.....

......one born every minute!!!!