Don't Urinate In The Swimming Pool !

[george]

I am helping a friend to make a big sign for his swimming pool. The Thais are pissing in his pool on daily basis.

"Do not urinate in this private swimming pool. Offenders will be hanged in their testicles. Offending females will receive similar treatment. "

How to write this in *sharp* Thai language without beeing TOO rude?

[Ajarn]

I'd say if you want to sound like a 'Farang Sokaprok', this is a good start.

Otherwise, take out the "Offenders will be hanged in their testicles. Offending females will receive similar treatment" and you'll be okay, I think.

And I don't believe any sign is going to keep someone from pissing in your pool. Don't let them in if it's such a big deal.

Just be glad they don't crap in it.

[meadish_sweetball]

กรุณาอย่าถ่ายปัสสวะในสระ่ว่ายน้ำ

ผู้ที่ฝ่าฝืนถูกแขวนลูกอัณฑะ

สตรีฝ่าฝืนถูกลงโทษอันไกล้เคียงกับผู้ชาย

But I would say you need a native speaker to get this right. I just thought I would try for the sake of practice.

(You probably already know the humourous part of the English sign is more likely to cause offense than laughter among Thais.)

[george]

So how do you express a similar threat without being rude? Thai "humour" with a very serious message - Do not piss in the pool - then &%$&@ [insert something] ...

[yoot]

"Do not urinate in this private swimming pool. Offenders will be hanged in their testicles. Offending females will receive similar treatment. "

If you really make a big sign with these messages. I think this would attract them to piss in that swimming pool more often. They would have an idea that how you can do as this with them. If it's really serious, just make it in the serious way.

For example;

ห้ามปัสสาวะลงในสระว่ายน้ำอย่างเด็ดขาด ผู้ใดฝ่าฝืนจะถูกดำเนินคดีโดยไม่มีการผ่อนปรนใด ๆ ทั้งสิ้น

[Ajarn]

I agree. If you're serious, be serious. Some kinds of 'humour' don't translate too well, in my experience. Kind of like why I think most British tv programs are so boring compared to quality American programs. Just kidding...

Being too ambiguous in meaning and intention (meaning/intention= anti-Thai?) kind of leaves you open to any interpretation by others. And it sure is hard to control most knee-jerkers and chips-on-shoulder types of any culture And just to be clear, I did not feel the intention of the message was meant to be anti-thai. Just one example of reaction of many possible.

If it's just men at the pool, then no sweat on the sign.

But most any riaprooy-type Thai puuying I know might have her tiger awakened by this message, if you know what I mean....

To me, that's the only real danger around here.

[peder.klockmann]

Maybe you can try this then:

"I Don't Swim In Your Toilet So Don't Pee In My Pool!"

My attempt with a dictionary:

"Pom mai waai-naam hong-naam kong kuhn, kop khun mai chii sa-waai-naam kong pom!"

[Oleg_Rus]

That is very nice of you - to be polite and less rude, while some A*holes are pissing...

Somehow thais don't give much *** to signs and announcements - even big yellow arrows at subway stations with loud speapers announcements completely ignored by 99.99% of them.

I think the best way to stop massive urine therapy - is to make little sign like - SwPool+ "Nam Chemi" + Your Piss = Complete Sw Pool cleaning ( ~15K)

Worked in some condo in bkk, as I heard - they cherged idiot full ammount, and other one, without money, were on the wall as a great pisser, I guess, for 3 month.

chemicals are available via Sw Pool Shop nationwide

[Insight]

Isn't there something you can put in pools that changes the colour of the water when somebody decides to go for a sly slash in them?

If you advertise that you have this agent in the pool and explain the consequences, imagine the "kerang jai" factor faced by the locals if they do?

Reckon you should attempt playing on that.

[Ajarn]

Isn't there something you can put in pools that changes the colour of the water when somebody decides to go for a sly slash in them?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

An OLD Urban Legend. My mom even tried to tell me that.

Purely a bluff, with no backing

[Insight]

Isn't there something you can put in pools that changes the colour of the water when somebody decides to go for a sly slash in them?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

An OLD Urban Legend. My mom even tried to tell me that.

Purely a bluff, with no backing

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ah, fair play

[The Gentleman Scamp]

It depends HOW they are doing it.

If they are standing on the side of the pool and urinating into it then this is very bad indeed, especially if people are swimming near the arc of wees.

If they are urinating when swimming however, then fair play to them 'cause it's possible with practice but it sure ain't easy.

[withnail]

How does he know that they're pxxxing in his pool?

[Rinrada]

Buy a pet shark

[Johpa]

I think you should post a sign that translates as follows (sorry I can't post Thai script):

There are no rabbits in the pool, please do your shooting elsewhere.

or

Please do not shoot rabbits while in the pool. (karuna haam ying krataay .......)

Even though the reference is gender specific, every Thai will understand the intent and take it in good humor.

[meadish_sweetball]

Good suggestion Johpa.

The female euphemism for pxxxing is "picking flowers", so I guess you could include that too if you want to be politically correct.

That should be:

ห้ามยิงกระตาย หรือเก็บดอกไม้ในสระว่ายน้ำอย่างเด็ดขาด

[Ajarn]

Good suggestion Johpa.

The female euphemism for pxxxing is "picking flowers", so I guess you could include that too if you want to be politically correct.

That should be:

ห้ามยิงกระตาย หรือเก็บดอกไม้ในสระว่ายน้ำอย่างเด็ดขาด

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I like both of those. They both sound so dam cute...

Of course, they may laugh so hard, they'll have to pee!

If you have a waterfall, forget the sign. Nobody can resist the call of nature when the sound of a waterfall sets the pace, in my experience

[Insight]

Buy a pet shark

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What if it's a shark with a "golden shower" fetish?

Trust me, I know a few.