Ahh so this is the way to get high post counts..? Now i know the secret lol   

My pennys worth on the Flaming french cannot be printed due to PC.

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totster

Well, that is different from the Thai news, though.  It said the security lady told the Frenchman not to carry those wax canisters.  He didn't understand her so she opened the lid, pour some wax on the X-ray machine surface, and set fire to demonstrate the effect! 

Golf

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hmmm burning X-ray machines.... Why not

Hey I like the French Fried medium rare

I cannot believe you all fell for this suspicious x-ray story.

There seems to have been a trend lately where made-up stories regarding x-ray machines have been disguised as news clippings.

Luckily for you all I immediately saw straight through it.

I cannot believe you all fell for this suspicious x-ray story.

There seems to have been a trend lately where made-up stories regarding x-ray machines have been disguised as news clippings.

Luckily for you all I immediately saw straight through it.

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*groan*

totster

And now for the real story.

Aerosol can goes POP in the airport.

8 frenchmen surrender

Thanks for the laugh of the day

Is it hot in here or is it me ?

Edited June 22, 200521 yr by Jeff1

What will happen if no one detected and it happen during the fright?

Happen during the "fright"?

I assume that is a Freuduan slip.

I have a burning desire to say something funny.. just can't think of anything..

totster

I have a burning desire to say something funny.. just can't think of anything.. 

totster 

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I am sure that if you stoke the fires of thought for a while, something will burst forth in tongues of flame.

Surely you must be on the edge of exploding with a barrage of wit!

Well, that is different from the Thai news, though.  It said the security lady told the Frenchman not to carry those wax canisters.  He didn't understand her so she opened the lid, pour some wax on the X-ray machine surface, and set fire to demonstrate the effect! 

Golf

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I hate to think what this super-diligent lady might do if she finds grenades in someones bag!

Good job, Thai Security Screening Officers. Could have been disaster for flight TG930.

Does this make him french toast?

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totster

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French Fry Muahahahaha!

How can you malign French soldiers in this fashion?

Just type

french military victories

into Google and click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button . . . .

OliverWard

How can you malign French soldiers in this fashion?

Just type

french military victories

into Google and click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button . . . .

OliverWard

Yeah, come on now people. Give the French a break. After all they did win the French Revolutionary War ... but then again they were fighting the French.

Mr BoJ

Just what is 'laqueur wax'?

Has anyone determined exactly what he was carrying? Presumably some commercially available substance.

What's in that stuff young Thai men put on their hair to make it look as if they have just had an electric shock?

Just what is 'laqueur wax'?

Has anyone determined exactly what he was carrying? Presumably some commercially available substance.

What's in that stuff young Thai men put on their hair to make it look as if they have just had an electric shock?

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Ah! yes....this man was obviously a budding `French` Polisher

Lacquer wax is used on furniture as a finishing product and for filling holes in wood.

Although this French passenger was probably unaware that it can be purchased in solid sticks and then melted as required without the risk of an explosion.

Vivre La Stick.

Lacquer wax is used for restoring lacquered items.

Lacquer comes in two main types asian and western.

Does this make him french toast?

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totster

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C`mon guys... the poor guy was...

oh siht, user just realised that this is in the news clippings not in the jokes section

Edited June 22, 200521 yr by kayo

Does this make him french toast?

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totster

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Freid Frog maybe?

Does this make him french toast?

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totster

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Freid Frog maybe?

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Yaang Gop...?

totster

Lacquer wax is used for restoring lacquered items.

Lacquer comes in two main types asian and western.

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[/quo

I hear the French type doesnt hold a candle to the others

Lacquer wax is used for restoring lacquered items.

Lacquer comes in two main types asian and western.

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[/quo

I hear the French type doesnt hold a candle to the others

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shouldn't that read "can't or don't" hold a candle against the french type

The inside scoop says differently folks. He told security he was bringing this wax so he can wax his wifes legs.

Obviously she was ticked to death at his generosity, and had he done so, he would have had two french hens thoroughly well cooked!!!!!!!!!!!

Secondly Security let him go after his treatment, to spare him further embarassment and hassle. Yes they could have charged him for carrying dangerous prohibitive goods on board, but looked the other way.

Daveyo

The inside scoop says differently folks.  He told security he was bringing this wax so he can wax his wifes legs.

Obviously she was ticked to death at his generosity, and had he done so, he would have had two french hens thoroughly well cooked!!!!!!!!!!!

Secondly Security let him go after his treatment, to spare him further embarassment and hassle.  Yes they could have charged him for carrying dangerous prohibitive goods on board, but looked the other way.

Daveyo

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Great thing about Thai women, you don't have to wax them.

Great thing about Thai women, you don't have to wax them.

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Well.... that all depends on what they used to be before...

totster

Great thing about Thai women, you don't have to wax them.

Well.... that all depends on what they used to be before...

totster

Great thing about Thai women, you don't have to wax them.

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Well.... that all depends on what they used to be before...

totster

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Yes, those kind of "women" need special waxing care.

Great thing about Thai women, you don't have to wax them.

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Well.... that all depends on what they used to be before...

totster

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Yes, those kind of "women" need special waxing care.

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Napalm?

The inside scoop says differently folks.  He told security he was bringing this wax so he can wax his wifes legs.

Daveyo

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I suppose even a Frenchman can get fed up with waxing furniture.....but treating your wife like an old table....really.....it makes you wonder what the world`s coming to

Questions and Answers

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Q: Why did France ban fireworks at Euro Disney?

A: Last night's display caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to surrender.

Q: How do you get France involved in a war with Iraq?

A: You must first convince them that Saddam is hiding fields of truffles.

Q: What do you call a group of 100,000 Frenchman with their hands in the air?

A: The French Army

Q: How many French men does it take to defend Paris?

A: Nobody knows, no French man has ever tried.

Q: Why does the new French Navy have glassbottom boats?

A: So they can see the old French Navy....

Q: How can you recognise a French veteran?

A: Sunburned armpits.

Q: Did you hear about the old French rifles for sale on Ebay?

A: Never been fired, dropped only once.

Q: How many gears in a French tank?

A: Six: five reverse and one forward, in case they are attacked from behind.

Charles DeGaulle and Lyndon Johnson

In 1966 upon being told that Charles DeGaulle had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated off of French soil, President Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State Dean Rusk to ask him about the cemeteries! So at end of the meeting Dean did ask De Gaulle if his order to remove all U S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+ soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II. De Gaulle never answered.

SPEAKING OF FRANCE...

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country" ~ Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."

~ General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."

~ Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." ~ Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." ~ Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." ~ Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." ~ Regis Philbin

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

~ John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."

~ Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" ~ Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." ~ David Letterman

"The next time there is a war the loser has to keep France." ~ Anonymous

French National Security Levels

After the terrorist attack in Madrid that provoked 200 dead, France has decided to increase the National Alert Level from "Run" to "Hide". The only 2 more severe alert levels, according to the French security system, are "Surrender" and "Collaboration".