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A French football fan, a Italian football fan and an English football fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze, when all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them.

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death.

However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for the whipping, the Sheikh announced: "It is my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow you one wish before your whipping."

The Frenchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back". This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, he had to be carried away bleeding and crying in pain.

The Italian was next up. After watching the Frenchman's pain in horror, he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back". But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through and again the German was led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything the Sheikh turned to him and said. "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this you may have two wishes".

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness" The Englishman replied. "My first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes, but 100 lashes". "Not only are you an honorable person, you are also very brave" said the Sheikh with an admiring look on his face. If a 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish?.

“Tie the Frenchman to my back".

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