Concerned (please Advise)

[Concerned Falang]

Ok I know some of you will think this funny, but please believe me I am very worried.

The basics, I rent a house in a suburb in BKK, and I have had a live in girlfriend now for about 2 1/2 years. She has always been a bit possessive, and has always nearly wanted to go where I go. Last Saturday I dug my heels in and said I was going out alone because I need some space, she got in a right strop, but she apparently stayed at home waiting for my return.

Well I went out, did nothing wrong in my eyes, just went to town (Cowboy) and just reminded myself how bad this place is. Anyway had a good few beers felt quite merry and got a taxi heading home. In the taxi I thought I could do with another beer, so I told him to stop by a “”Karaoke Bar”” on the main road (just off the soi where I live). Went in just had a beer and chatted a bit, but my Thai isn’t that good and their English was very limited. I did no more than enjoy a beer and pass the time away. I returned home about 1.30am. The live in GF seem to be fine and nothing seemed to be wrong with her.

On Sunday eve she went out to get some food and she came back with a right nasty look on her face, I asked what’s matter, and she nearly attacked with every thing she was carrying. She was like a thing possessed screaming and shouting about where I was last night. I told her I went to Cowboy, and stopped for a beer elsewhere but did not know the name of the place. She started ranting in Thai and I heard the word Karaoke more than once in her rantings. After a while she seemed to calm down and I THOUGHT she ok and believed me that I never go with another woman. All seemed OK late last night, she was very very quiet but most women are after a row.

Today she wakes me up, and asks me where am I going today, I said nowhere I want to be home with you because you are still not happy. She then informed me she was going to phone her mother and sisters back in her village in Udon. I thought why is me telling me that, she does it all the bloody time. After a while she gets showered and then informs me she is going shopping, and can she have an extra 2000thb. I thought anything to make her happy again. About 12.30 she come back home and goes straight to the kitchen and produces a liquidiser she has just purchased, I just thought what ever and asked her what she was going to make for dinner. She then slammed the door shut and told me to watch what her mother had told her to do. She then produce a whole chicken neck from her shopping and proceeded to feed it into the liquidiser shouting at me with a evil look “”Mi Me Ped Mi Me Ped Mi Me Ped, ###### Karaoke”” then to my total amazement she took the lid if the liquidiser and drank some of the shit inside and was allowing all this blood and shit to dribble all own her chin. (She looked like something out of a horror movie) I mean her eyes were bulging and rolling and it scared the shit out of me. She then got a knife from the door and I swear she was going to kill me, so I have Ran. Yes I have run away from a lady, but I tell you she has scared the shit out of me. I am sat in a internet café and I am shitting myself. I have surfed and surfed about angry Thai women and I found this site, and I REALLY NEED SOUND ADVISE.

Yes I know all about Thai FACE and Butterflying, but I really don’t think she want to listen to me.

(1) Do I go too the police ?

(2) Do I dare go home ?

(3) Do I get someone to phone her ?

(4) Do I get someone to phone her mum?

I NEED ADVICE

FROM YOURS REALLY CONCERNED, THE MORE I WRITE THE MORE I THINK I AM IN THE SHIT UPTO MY GUNNELS.

PLEASE POST BACK ASAP

[WilliamIV]

Dear Concerned,

The Chicken Neck was to symbolise your Penis !!!

This is NO joke - I am serious.

A number of such actual dismemberings

have been reported to the press.

Be very careful ...

In Pattaya there have been a number of cases

of Farangs "throwing themselves off a high Balcony"

but they were married to their Thai Wife who inherited

their money. And THEY were not neccassarily jealous.

I hope others with more PERSONAL hands on experience

will soon come to your aid.

Meanwhile find an Hotel Room.

Bill

[p1p]

Do you have any farang friends who speak fluent colloquial Thai?? If so, get one of them to come back home with you and pour oil on the troubled waters. She is highly unlikely to attack if you are with a friend and he should be able to explain matters to her satisfaction.

Can't offer more help than this because I am too far away but I will email you my phone number and try to talk to her myself if you send me a private message.

Good luck

[surin]

No children?.....Bye-bye. It won't be the last time she scares the crap out of you. Always remember the thread about 2 guys riding towards you on a motorbike!!

[Concerned Falang]

Thank you for some PMs from 2 of you, I have made contact with her Mum, I will keep you posted.

Always remember the thread about 2 guys riding towards you on a motorbike!

Please advise on this !

[bangkok-bob]

I've been attacked by loads of nut case birds, had one bird once started chewing on razor blades and swigging fairy liquid, dragged her downstairs in her state, and left her with security, if she died they would know I wasn't around.

Leave her mate it will only get worse. If it's your gaff then kick her out, may be moving would be a good option. Next time think carefully before allowing a bird to move in to your place.

[phazey]

If this is the first time, i sincerily suspect it won't be the last. Think wisely about your next move, but i would advise tact and caution. Have a good think about your future with your current partner. A real good think.

All the best.

./P

[TizMe]

No children?.....Bye-bye. It won't be the last time she scares the crap out of you. Always remember the thread about 2 guys riding towards you on a motorbike!!

Totally agree. Why do you need #### like this in your life?

[WilliamIV]

Always remember the thread about 2 guys riding towards you on a motorbike!!

Surin,

Please expand on this ...

Thanks

Bill

[Bulldog]

Always remember the thread about 2 guys riding towards you on a motorbike!!

Surin,

Please expand on this ...

Thanks

Bill

Bill,

The 2 guys are Shooters, they will blow you away.

[D80]

This is serious stuff.

I wouldn't stay with her, seriously! She is too violent & unpredictable.

Believe me, this is not commonly done among Thai women! Drinking the chicken blood?? What the &^%*( was that all about???

[Spellbound]

mai-mee-ped means I do not have a duck.

You best read attachment and fast.

Thai cock-cutting catastrophe

Dozens of Bangkok penises are annually "fed to the ducks" by vengeful wives.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

By Hank Hyena

Dec. 7, 1999

Another philandering Thai husband has been horribly stripped of his adulterous manhood.

Bangkok police captain Samphan Panitphan went on a drinking binge with his buddies last weekend, reports Saturday's Daily Record. Returning home to his suspicious wife Sudjai, 28, he collapsed in a stupor.

His unconscious body presented an irresistible target to Sudjai, who carved out some vengeance for his recent affairs. She cut off his penis!

Removing the devious dicks of wandering husbands is becoming almost as common in Thailand as carving up coconuts. The slashing wives' habit is euphemistically referred to as "tat lieng pet" (feeding the duck) due to an incident in which the offending organ was tossed into a yard where a passing duck ate it.

Bangkok surgeons are challenged with about 60 penile attachment operations per year, notes the Mirror. Victims and their removed rods must be stitched together quickly because isolated cock-cells expire in approximately one hour.

When Samphan woke up screaming and bloody, he urgently telephoned his cop colleagues for help. Arriving abruptly, they interrogated Sudjai about the missing staff's whereabouts, but she refused to immediately divulge the location of its grave. When she finally guided everyone to a sewage drainpipe, the extramarital member was deceased.

Sudjai was arrested and charged with physical assault, which carries a maximum penalty of 10 years imprisonment.

If convicted, will her punishment halt the plague of hose-hatcheting? Probably not: as long as Thai men maintain their loose tradition of taking "second" wives, the first spouses will sharpen daggers for duck-food.

http://www.salon.com/health/sex/urge/world/1999/12/07/duck/

GOOD LUCK IF YOU ARE STILL A MAN

[Spellbound]

Case Studies:

1. A Penis Shared - In 1987, 22-year-old Kowit Banrunga awoke to find his wife had chopped off his penis and ran off with it. Kowit was bleeding too badly to chase her.

Luckily, three days later, a transexual undergoing surgery donated his penis to Kowit. Kowit said he'd been "born again".

2. A Penis Eaten - In 1988, a 40-year-old factory worker called Chusak Teppasutra was rushed to hospital with a bloody groin. He had come home drunk and his wife had lopped his member off and thrown it out the door, where it was eaten by a friendly neighbourhood dog.

3. A Mystery Penis - In 1990, a woman called Anong went to police in Songkhla to report a trange event. She said that when her husband Prasert had fallen asleep, his penis had "fallen away from its base". Not without a little help from Anong who, as it turned out, whipped it off with a razor. Police arrested Anong while surgeons tried and failed to reattach Prasert's penis. Prasert later asked police to release his wife, to take care of their children.

4. Penis in space - In March this year, a 47-year-old tuk-tuk driver called Prayoon learned the hard way that his wife Noi did not like him keeping a mistress and drugged him with sleeping pills. She then later hacked off his penis with her pineapple knife and sewed her husband's penis to a hot air balloon. It was never been seen again.

5. Miracle Penis - One man came to a hospital after his penis had been cut off, but had failed to bring the penis itself. The doctor sent the man running home to look for it, and he returned 15 hours later with the member, which his wife had flushed down the toilet. The man dismantled the local sewage tanks to find it. The doctor said the penis was too dirty to reattach - as the infection might kill him. The man said he would commit suicide if the doctor didn't operate. The doctor then went ahead and,to his amazement, was successful. "It must be a world first - a penis reattachment after 15 hours," the doctor said.

Advice: What to do when your penis has been cut off.

As told by Dr Surasek Muangsombat.

1) Don't panic.

2) Find a piece of cloth, clean the cloth first and then press it hard on the wound to stop the blood.

3) Try to retrieve your severed member from wherever your angry partner had discarded it. Treasure Hunt???

4) Wash it in clean water just like you wash chicken liver at the basin and keep it in a plastic bag - it can be kept this way for up to six hours.

5) If possible, keep the plastic bag in a container of iced water. This way it keeps for 24 hours.

6) Get to a hospital. FAST and DO NOT LAUGH.

(WHO'S LAUGHING) Not ME

http://www.krazysurfer.com/2001/jokes/sex/penis-story.html

[tomy]

you need to move to another town

[Supersurch]

Do you love her? If no, get the heck out of there. Take the important stuff, i.e.: money, legal papers, any thing that would reveal your identity. Bangkok is a big city, you can find another place to live. Or even better, leave town if you don't have any obligations. Be discreet about it, because she'll sense abandonment. You may have to deceive her by telling you'll never leave her again. Wait a few days, while preparing your departure.

If you do love her, then you'll have to consult a professional. I know a lot of us here cannot give you professional advice.

If this happened to me? US, here I come!

A man's best friend is not his beloved mutt, but his beloved penis! Without it, he is obsolete.

[Guest ka1234]

I agree with all posters that say you need to get out of there. Find a new house, make sure she can't find you, change mobile phone no etc.

You are obviosly not compatible and she sounds a bit unstable. Even if you manage to "fix it" this time one or both of you will get hurt sooner or later. Most likely you since she has already considered carving you.

But that aside, what I think happened is: you picked the wrong karaoke place. Either she or her friends hang out there or someone she knows saw you walk in or out there. That caused some face loss (esp. if she has been there bragging about you) which is the worst thing that can happen to a Thai. Even if you try hard it will take years to repair something like this.

[Guest ka1234]

...and... if the informant is an aquaintance/neighbor/corner noodle stall vendor who is tired of hearing her bragging about you, they probably added some juicy details. Thais (esp. small town folks) are great at gossiping and adding to the gossip to make it more juicy.

[pnustedt]

You've been living with (or dating?) this girl for two and a half years. Why?

Perhaps you have acted out of character and she has reacted accordingly.

Sounds like you have been giving her something to think about and she has reacted to give you something to think about! Try to talk about it - maybe you can both laugh about it?

p.s. Where are you sleeping tonight?

[phazey]

Advice: What to do when your penis has been cut off.

let's see if this works...

1) Don't panic.

erm, your man "john thomas" has been hacked off - what else is supposed to happen?

2) Find a piece of cloth, clean the cloth first and then press it hard on the wound to stop the blood.

Okaaay, so after "not panicing" and having ones love-rod sawn off with a blunt nail-file - lets go look for clean laundry...

3) Try to retrieve your severed member from wherever your angry partner had discarded it. Treasure Hunt???

Imagine grovelling around sewers/ponds/ducks inards whilst spurting blood from your groinal regions - looking for a severed member....naah i'm back to panicing already...

4) Wash it in clean water just like you wash chicken liver at the basin and keep it in a plastic bag - it can be kept this way for up to six hours.

Well that's a no starter, i can't even look at uncooked chicken without being tempted to vomit.....

5) If possible, keep the plastic bag in a container of iced water. This way it keeps for 24 hours.

should these items be obtained before the aformentioned parting of the "todger" or should it be a spontaneous thing ? (ooh i do love suprises!)

6) Get to a hospital. FAST and DO NOT LAUGH.

hospital yes, wise move. "LAUGH" ???? i've no idea how i would laugh with my willy in one hand (waving it around hysterically - not boasting!) and my other hand on a blood soaked rag pressed against my nether regions...Laughter would be possibly the least thing on my mind (apart from a threesome with some kinky chinese twins perhaps)

Anyways, all is said tongue in cheek - if it's all came out spoon then i will replace this post with a nice picture of a cow and a dolphin. There. - darn beer.

./P

[Supersurch]

Phazey, my co-workers are asking me why I'm crying. That was hilarious!

I wouldn't even be able to remember those intructions. I would have to write them down on an index card or something and keep it in my wallet.

[Col.Kurtz]

Phazey, indeed that was quite a laugh. I almost had tears streaming down my face and was busy clutching my bag because I'm scared of loosing it now~! The best one : 1) Don't panic - YEAH RIGHT!

What is the outcome of this story anyways......that poor bastard must be shitting himself! Another reason to live alone without a T-GF in my humble opinion. Personally, I prefer the "F & F" method. "Fire and forget", no attachments, no-one gets hurt! I hope that guy is gonna be ok!

[Concerned Falang]

I am OK, and I wish to thank the 2 members who PMd me earlier. One PM came from a Thai lady, and I will post here what she wrote, but I will keep her I.D secret as I feel if she wanted all to see you would have posted here.

PM FROM A LOVELY THAI LADY ( AND THANK YOU OH SO MUCH FOR THE ADVICE )

Hello

I am also Thai female and I think the situation is not so safe for you. I quite understand the situation, some Thai girls can be really dangerous. Be careful!! If you can talk to her mom, plase do so and ask her mom to talk to her in order to claim her down. Don't go home but call her and explain her about how you feel.

Report to the police in your house area but DON'T let her know about that.

All the best.

___________________________________________________________________

I also had a PM and advice from someone else, but I think in my panic and frantic frame of mind I Pmd the wrong person, but I would like to thank the serious responders for all their help.

I think I recall PM'ing the helpful Thai lady that I had made contact with her Mum, this I did with the help of a nice lady in the internet cafe. I was led to believe my GF was going to her family home in Udon, but I found out the mother was coming to Bkk. After much debating and many calls the mother was due to turn up about 01.00. This in fact turned out to be over 1/2 the family at about 12.30am. I met with one of my GF bothers away from the house, and he assured me it was all AOK to return. (This I have done as I am writing this from my own PC). Well let me tell you I think my GF has gone stark raving bonkers, she is pissed as a rat and thankfully sleeping it off. It has been explained to me that as someone else posted a snitch close to where I live told my GF that she saw me in the Karaoke Bar, so my GF has lost face in the community.

My "brother -in -law" has assured me he will stay with me down stairs tonight, and all will be Ok in the morning. "The mother in law" just seemed earlier to say nothing and just kept eating that shitty beetle nut stuff and smiling at me. but for sure I feel safer with all these people around me, as it does some how appear that there may be a conflict when the GF wakes up. I have made sure my passport in in my arse pocket, and make no mistakes I will be out of here at the first sign of trouble.

Sorry to highjack your website, but I was in panic mode earlier, and to be honest I still think I am.

Ok it gone 4.30am and i need to get a couple of hours sleep.

And thank you again to the Thai lady and her advise.

(and if any-one can make a man paranoid you have them here on this site ) but thanks to you all but I think all will be Ok later.

(panic I was in, even had to reinstate my password, totally forgot what I used the first time)

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Always remember the thread about 2 guys riding towards you on a motorbike!!

Surin,

Please expand on this ...

Thanks

Bill

One man steers the motorcycle while the pillion passenger shoots you.

[SoCal]

Hey Buddy,

You are the one who is crazy if you don't find the safest, quickest, quietest way out of the mess.

In most cases the one's who are most passionate are a little mental, and the passion can be awesome, but you have to forget about this. Six years ago I was living with a girl. Can't tell you how much I loved her, even think sometimes about her to this day. Six years ago she put a knife to me, and about 1/8" into me. I'll tell you, that was the last time I saw her, and more importantly the last time I was stabbed.

She has crossed a very serious line, and it cannot be one that is explained away. Do not think that it will never happen again, or that you can some how help her, because in truth, next time it will be worse. This is what happens when lines are crossed.

Send her home with her family now, play it down saying you need a little time apart but still love her and want to be with her. Hopefully the brother will understand. Once she gets home, and you get your ducks in a row (expeditiously), send her a letter breaking things off, and telling her not to come back to BKK. Then move you and your happy cock (still attached) across town. No matter what you think later, never contact her, and more importantly give her a way to contact you.

Hope you get this message, and more importantly that you pay attention.

I could not be more serious, and neither is this situation.

[surin]

Concerned Falang.......Mate, We're all concerned. Get out now and stop wasting time. Next time you won't have time to pick up your socks, let alone your dick!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Concerned Falang.......Mate, We're all concerned. Get out now and stop wasting time. Next time you won't have time to pick up your socks, let alone your dick!

I second that.....feeding the duck ( Ped ) is a very old Thai remedy for straying male partners. Send her home with the family for a week and during that week relocate to the other side of town, and give up your old haunts that are known to her. You and your dick will live happily everafter. . Go man GO.

[Thetyim]

All the posting about how to re-install a severed cock is funny but not applicable to this case if you read the first posting properly.

GF phoned her mother and then went out to buy a liquidiser.

The liquidiser is for your cock to make sure you have to live without it for the rest of your life. Thai girls know that it can be sown back on at the hospital so they take a more destructive approach these days.

Take the advise given here. Send her home for a week and then get the ###### out of there.

[rabkk]

Concerned Falang, read "Shopping in Bangkok" in General topics and ask syd for advice...

[plachon]

Jeez-us H man! Reading your post made me squirm in my seat and wonder if "Concerned Farang" has to be the understatement of the year. "Stark raving shitting it Farang", it should read if you know what's good for you. Yeah, take the advice and get the ###### outta there fast, without leaving a trail. If you still have a trace of concern for the EX-GF, leave some appropriate antibiotics on the table, as she's probably going to come down with salmonella pretty soon. And don't let the family sweet talk you into staying, as they'll be as concerned about their meal ticket clearing off, as they are about their daughter/sister. Please do it bro., you know it makes sense.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Mi Me Ped Mi Me Ped Mi Me Ped

Just so you know ...the mai mee ped ( or mi me ped ) translates to ' not have duck '. Tradition had it that the severed member was fed to the family duck.

Has she gone to the family house yet ?