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These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. Newspaper:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old.

Hateful little bastard.

Bites!

FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father, Super Dog... Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.

Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie.

*** And the WINNER is... ***

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica,

45 volumes.

Excellent condition......£200 or best offer.

No longer needed; got married last month..

Wife knows f#%#%#g everything!

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