Knocking Down

[Blinky Bill]

Yeah, I hear ya. But you know, this forum is what you wanna make of it, and some ppl just wanna talk trash all the time. Others are quite sane, responsible, helpful, civilized, intelligent, and so on. I generally try to avoid the obnoxious ones, and have even made a few pretty good friends/ acquaintances thru TV and TV parties. The only trouble is doing the sifting for the quality.

All that being said, sometimes posts are obnoxious, products n services in town are terrible, and you feel a need to let others know and let the perpetrator have it. I understand.

I'm guilty of being crabby every now n then too. What often gets in my craw is people failing to use the title and subtitle lines effectively and honestly to inform readers what the topic is. I also can't deal with one post 5 people like, and then quote the whole frigging thing right back in their replies, so a pg in the forum is essentially taken up by the same msg again n again n again. I can follow a thread, all you need to do is cite something n I get it. Anyway... I know what gets me going. Everybody's got a little crankiness in 'em somewhere.

I embrace both sides, but always err on the sunny side of things.

Couldn't agree more, rtd.

[Blinky Bill]

Yeah, I hear ya. But you know, this forum is what you wanna make of it, and some ppl just wanna talk trash all the time. Others are quite sane, responsible, helpful, civilized, intelligent, and so on. I generally try to avoid the obnoxious ones, and have even made a few pretty good friends/ acquaintances thru TV and TV parties. The only trouble is doing the sifting for the quality.

All that being said, sometimes posts are obnoxious, products n services in town are terrible, and you feel a need to let others know and let the perpetrator have it. I understand.

I'm guilty of being crabby every now n then too. What often gets in my craw is people failing to use the title and subtitle lines effectively and honestly to inform readers what the topic is. I also can't deal with one post 5 people like, and then quote the whole frigging thing right back in their replies, so a pg in the forum is essentially taken up by the same msg again n again n again. I can follow a thread, all you need to do is cite something n I get it. Anyway... I know what gets me going. Everybody's got a little crankiness in 'em somewhere.

I embrace both sides, but always err on the sunny side of things.

Couldn't agree more, rtd.

Ya gotta love some posters. Haven't ya?

[orang37]

Sawasdee Khrup, TV CM Friends,

Without distracting from the general topic of this thread, we would like to mention that you do have some "power" to screen out posts by those you find frequently "on a bummer," annoying, trivial, or whatever:

Thailand Forum > Your control panel > Profile > Manage Ignored Users : option to block posts from appearing, as well as to prevent PM's.

Is your friend

Duo-personally, we see a correlation between the extent to which we make eye contact, smile, perhaps say "Sawasdee Khrup," perhaps act with "casual good manners" towards Thais, and the friendly responses we feel we often get from Thais here. It is our belief, for what that's worth, that for Thais "happiness is contagious" and "unhappiness is a plague to be avoided" (whether that public happy face is a mask over the whole mai phen rai, jay yen, krieng jai, cultural apparatus ... who knows ?).

But, also agree with the comments on this thread that this year the economic hard-times have had some hard-to-define impact on the "general cheerfulness" of the folks in CM.

Like another person on this thread we come from an area (southern USA), and a time as a young child (1950's), where there was a definite "culture of manners;" our larval human form was raised to stand when any adult entered a room, to say "Yes, sir," and "Yes, Ma'm," to immediately get up and offer a seat on a bus to anyone older, or with a physical problem (except for the black people riding in the back of the bus where we were not suppose to sit).

We'd submit to you a hypothesis that norms regarding interaction between strangers in a public place here ... strangers who share no common goal, no patron/client relationship, in the situation ... are very different than ... not only the "hyper politeness" this flea in the ear of a tick on the hide of a soi dog was brought up with ... but also very different from "modern" America and Europe ... and the rest of Asia ?

And if we think about public rudeness towards strangers, and seas of faces that are grim and scowling: in our expererience that would be a toss-up between Indo-Gangetic plain India major cities (particularly Delhi), Hong Kong, New York, and Jakarta. ... mmm ... how about Bangkok ?

best, ~o:37

[macsurf]

It's interesting that the one and only Thai poster who has also lived in the U.S. agrees with me. For the record, I'm not a tourist, I've been here 8 years and have a local CM wife. I speak good Thai and have spent considerable time with her extended family in Sanpatong & in town. I think what I really meant was that while I totally agree that Thais are at the core extremely 'nice & good-hearted' people (for the most part), and totally committed to family (no one can ever question that), what's lacking in the atmosphere in town is a happy, friendly, convivial feeling. Granted language, economics & culture are factors but all of those are factors in other countries as well. Honestly I can count the number of times I've seen a Thai go out of their way to hold a door open for a stranger one ONE hand, in 8 years. Now I have seen acts of great kindness and selflessness as well, I'm not denying that. The entire buddhist culture is based on that after all. Same goes for witnessing a local just strike up a conversation with a stranger for example in the mall just to get to know someone, countable on ok MAYBE two hands. What I DO see alot of are uptight, stressed, 'money on my mind', avoiding eye-contact faces ( ok maybe i'm exaggerating a little, not everyone but WAY too many imo ). I guess coming from Hawaii i'm used to the 'aloha spirit' in the air, but imo life is just too dam_n short for uptightness....cultural differences, economics, language barriers be damned. We're all heading in the same direction! Let's just enjoy each other.

[uptheos]

It's interesting that the one and only Thai poster who has also lived in the U.S. agrees with me. For the record, I'm not a tourist, I've been here 8 years and have a local CM wife. I speak good Thai and have spent considerable time with her extended family in Sanpatong & in town. I think what I really meant was that while I totally agree that Thais are at the core extremely 'nice & good-hearted' people (for the most part), and totally committed to family (no one can ever question that), what's lacking in the atmosphere in town is a happy, friendly, convivial feeling. Granted language, economics & culture are factors but all of those are factors in other countries as well. Honestly I can count the number of times I've seen a Thai go out of their way to hold a door open for a stranger one ONE hand, in 8 years. Now I have seen acts of great kindness and selflessness as well, I'm not denying that. The entire buddhist culture is based on that after all. Same goes for witnessing a local just strike up a conversation with a stranger for example in the mall just to get to know someone, countable on ok MAYBE two hands. What I DO see alot of are uptight, stressed, 'money on my mind', avoiding eye-contact faces ( ok maybe i'm exaggerating a little, not everyone but WAY too many imo ). I guess coming from Hawaii i'm used to the 'aloha spirit' in the air, but imo life is just too dam_n short for uptightness....cultural differences, economics, language barriers be damned. We're all heading in the same direction! Let's just enjoy each other.

I've never been to Hawaii so I don't know what the 'aloah spirit' is. However, I've been to many North American and European cities and I certainly haven't experienced the same level of friendliness from strangers as I do here.

Most are angry and downright suspicious of your motives, if you smile or strike up a conversation.

[IanForbes]

Yeah, I hear ya. But you know, this forum is what you wanna make of it, and some ppl just wanna talk trash all the time. Others are quite sane, responsible, helpful, civilized, intelligent, and so on. I generally try to avoid the obnoxious ones, and have even made a few pretty good friends/ acquaintances thru TV and TV parties. The only trouble is doing the sifting for the quality.

All that being said, sometimes posts are obnoxious, products n services in town are terrible, and you feel a need to let others know and let the perpetrator have it. I understand.

I'm guilty of being crabby every now n then too. What often gets in my craw is people failing to use the title and subtitle lines effectively and honestly to inform readers what the topic is. I also can't deal with one post 5 people like, and then quote the whole frigging thing right back in their replies, so a pg in the forum is essentially taken up by the same msg again n again n again. I can follow a thread, all you need to do is cite something n I get it. Anyway... I know what gets me going. Everybody's got a little crankiness in 'em somewhere.

I embrace both sides, but always err on the sunny side of things.

I agree with realthaideal on this post. As most here know, I use a lot of pictures to describe my response to specific topics. Some like it and others don't. I can accept that and everyone is entitled to their opinion. But, when quoting one of my posts there is no need to include the pictures or the whole content of my post if there is only one specific point in question. I seldom include the whole portion of a written post when there is something I want to comment on. I just trim it down to size, but leave it in the original bracket of quotes.

I try not to be negative, even when commenting on something I don't agree with. There is usually two ways of saying the same thing without insulting a person.

However, I tend to write just like the person is sitting right across from me in my living room. Body language is lost on a forum and the emoticons are only partially compensating. I've heard many people make sarcastic, nasty comments in every day conversation; but when you call them on it they reply "I was only joking". But, you can tell by their body language and eyes that they meant every nasty word.

However, I tell myself every day how lucky I am and how good life has been to me. I make a concious effort to always be positive... even when I'm a bit down. It IS a choice. You can be happy or you can be sad. I figure as long as I'm vertical or horizontal by choice then everything is pretty good.

[IanForbes]

I'm a Thai who've been living in the US for over 2 decades. Always been taken by the friendlyness and conviviality that the Americans have showed to a stranger as myself.

Now I'm starting to act like one of the Americans,. always got a habit of greeting people, that goes with when I'm in Thailand too. It's a natural for me to say........ 'Good morning' or give them a friendly smile.

Those comments also reflect my experiences with Americans. Even as a child I was in awe of how well we were treated when traveling in the USA. Maybe it's because most Americans are naturally proud of their country and enjoyed showing it off. However, that is more common in RURAL communities than in big cities. It's the same in rural Canada or rural Australia and New Zealand.

[macsurf]

Ian Forbes: " It IS a choice. You can be happy or you can be sad. I figure as long as I'm vertical or horizontal by choice then everything is pretty good."

good one!

[jayjay0]

From what I have observed, Phil states it very well. I compare one of the local restaurant/watering hole discussions here in CM, to TV and they are not comparable. The locals, with a frequent mix of visitors/tourists seem to carry on discussion of topics where vastly differing views/opinions are expressed without personal attacks. Granted, some remarks may sound biting but the manner in which they are made in a oblivious joking manner.

Maybe the smileys use is ignored by some of the posters on TV, which due to lack of observing a persons facial expression, may give a false impression of real intent.

The Thai language is not the only language where tone/emphasis can change meaning. When you consider the number of different mother tongues involved on TV and the lack of the printed word to convey our intended meaning/mood/etc, I am surprised their is not more piss fights on some of the topics.

Couldn't agree with you more about the use of smileys :jap:know for myself some of my more negative comments would have been moderated with a simile. :jap:

I have to admit it I returned from North America where I saw many more smiling faces than when I left. Could be I am just aware of them more now that I live with them all around me.

As forgetting along with each other. Good Idea. Reality is that we need the negative points of view and some times they are just down right hard to express in a nice manner. For myself I am the type who likes to be up front with it. [trying to soften that attitude [] There are some people who don't care what you say about them as long as you do it in a polite way. Hard to get along with that type.

Edited September 30, 2010 by jayjay0

[IanForbes]

This discussion reminds me of the topic about the word... "farang"

There were two schools of thought. One group believed that "farang" spoken by a Thai was an insult. The other group said said it was only an expession used to describe a white foreigner. I tended to believe the second group because I've had enough experiences to show it WASN'T an insult. But, I COULD believe that saying "farang" in a certain tone of voice WOULD be an insult. On at least 3 occasions while traveling on the back of a song tow in rural Thailand I've had a bus load of students call out to me "FARANG!" and said with smiles on their faces. I can't believe they were trying to insult me, but just pointing out the unusual... me in their territory.

[Ulysses G.]

The other group said said it was only an expession used to describe a white foreigner.

The second group was right.

[GarryP]

I popped by thinking the thread was about road accidents and pedestrian involvement therein.

[IanForbes]

I popped by thinking the thread was about road accidents and pedestrian involvement therein.

Or, knocking down some beer at a local pub while surrounded by friends and pretty ladies.

Take your choice. It's a month before I return to Thailand and already I can't keep my mind on what I should be doing here in Canada. Guess where my mind is right now?

[KRS1]

It's good to be positive. I'm just saying what I observe around town. Economics and culture are factors for sure, and I can't comment on the UK but I witness far more friendliness and conviviality amongst strangers in big cities in the states compared with here. How often do you really see Thais (sober & non bar atmosphere) conversing in groups in a jovial way? Sure sometimes, but considering this is 'Land of Smiles' I aint seeing it on a regular basis. Or Thais who don't know each other going out of their way to hold a door open or otherwise go out of their way to help a stranger? Again sometimes, but is there really a happy, carefree atmosphere around town? Honestly. Don't even get me started on road manners.

learn thai, speak to people like they are your brothers and sisters and you will learn.