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Posted

How To Wash The Cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.

3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and

close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so

that he cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too

close to the edge, as his paws will be

reaching out for anything he can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides

a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be

quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure

that there are no people between the toilet and the

outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and

quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and

run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely, The DOG

(OK OK it's just a joke!)

Posted

You must have been a dog in your last incarnation, sbk, or is it that you're getting ready for the next one?

Only if I can come back as one of my dogs!

Posted

In Wintertime, I like to have a long hot bath. With bubbles and scented candles.

Last year whilst I was wallowing the cat decided to do his "walk on the edge of the bath" act. He promptly slipped and fell in.

My thighs still bear the scratch marks!!! I must have looked like a whale jumping out of the sea as I reared up out of the water!!

I did have a dog about 20 years ago. Tufty was a Bernese mountain dog and weighed 60 kilos, I weighed 50. Putting that monster in the bath was not for the weak hearted. Everybody had to get naked, or wear just a t shirt and panties. All valuables had to be covered in plastic, coz he would shake himself silly!!

Posted

You must have been a dog in your last incarnation, sbk, or is it that you're getting ready for the next one?

Only if I can come back as one of my dogs!

I think you'll have to do a bit of time-travelling to do that!

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