Modern Thai Women 'Less Tolerant' Of Marriage

[visions]

Never ceases to amaze me! The only reason I see Thai women divorcing is when the money runs out or hubby stops paying! All else seems irrelevant.

Look up the word "Love" in a Thai dictionary......it's spelt M-O-N-E-Y

[meelousee]

The whole study is flawed. One person one entity one sided opinion on results. This study is about as scientific as collecting fire flies for home lighting

It does however reflect a trend that is world wide among educated females.

"The study also found that 32 per cent of the respondents who said they thought about getting married said they didn't want children, while some also said the present environment wasn't appropriate for children. "

[Bakeman]

As ZAZA stated about statistics the same is true for crime rates. The stats can be skued least we forget the UNREPORTED ones.

[Englander]

What is wrong with that?

Do we always have to suffer in silence?

What is wrong with it , is that the elite love to keep things as they are. Suppressing women is one of those things.

Id say its more a case of suppressing the poor, as opposed to a specific sex.

[rubl]

What is wrong with that?

Do we always have to suffer in silence?

What is wrong with it , is that the elite love to keep things as they are. Suppressing women is one of those things.

Id say its more a case of suppressing the poor, as opposed to a specific sex.

You guys are drifting away from the OP. Just to remind you: "Modern Thai Women 'Less Tolerant' Of Marriage"

[tonglen]

I wonder if its less a case of intolerance toward marriage and more an intolerance toward a-hole men?

[DickFarang]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

I have met many single mothers in Thailand (divorced or never married)

I know several Thai guys

I don't know any married Thai women in their 50s

Seems to me once a Thai guy looks at his woman and he thinks she no longer looks 14, shes dumped.

Why waste your money on an old lady, they say.

Not my opinion, by the way,I am more than happy with the Thai mens rejects in the 28-45 YO age range

They are always extremely grateful..

I hope this post doesn't get me banned, it may be a little too truthful for some people on this forum to read.

My wife has married aunts in their fifties (married to Thai men).

But I believe it is (becoming) exceptional in Thailand.

[DickFarang]

“The study also found that 32 per cent of the respondents who said they thought about getting married said they didn't want children ...”

Why marry anyway ?

[sirchai]

"they were used to quick decision-making" Really??? I have never seen a Thai

make a quick decission about anything.

You obviously have no idea about Thais. It's more a racist comment you made. :jap:

[Chris Lawrence]

"and 20 per cent said they didn't think anyone would understand them."

Arguably the most factual part of the report!!

Did you get one of these?

[Chris Lawrence]

“The study also found that 32 per cent of the respondents who said they thought about getting married said they didn't want children ...”

Why marry anyway ?

Ah a virgin until they got married :jap:

[SergeiY]

“The study also found that 32 per cent of the respondents who said they thought about getting married said they didn't want children ...”

Why marry anyway ?

As in Why to marry anyway at all? or Why marry if you don't want have kids?

I can understand why someone want to live and stay together with a partner and maybe also 'marry' the partner (what ever 'Marriage' can mean here, probably living together and fit to the cultural 'norm') but still exclude the option to have children.

the OP continues

"... while some also said the present environment wasn't appropriate for children."

Emphasis on FOR the child.

there are more reason than just the present environment (whatever it means). just life itself, the world itself ; or something hellish like the other people - maybe not suitable for children or any being that is doomed to think. coigito isn't a walk in the park.

Irresponsible to push and throw a child, a human being with his own mind into this world and selfish and egoistic to be its parents.

[SergeiY]

"and 20 per cent said they didn't think anyone would understand them."

Arguably the most factual part of the report!!

Did you get one of these?

Amongst these are the best. It can be a sign of intelligence if someone comes to that conclusion.

Meanwhile people who have the irrational belief and expect that everyone will understand them - are often not the smartest.

[henryalleman]

This is a typical Asian phenomena.In most developed Asian countries, many of the successful urban careerwomen refuse to be pick up the role of an traditional housewife. Simply because they see the life of their mothers, sisters and friends who are married. They detest that kind of traditional lifestyle. Most ladies I know are like that. I know several of them who don't like to have an Asian husband, they prefer to live alone. Maybe explains the popularity of "Women's only clubs" in Bangkok and the success of adult dating websites were they just look for a mating date. They just looking for an discreet and casual relationship with no strings attached. Some of them are even very outspoken and upfront about it, they even specify in their profile that they don't want that Asian man contact them.

In countries like Singapore and Japan its even create de-natality, the population getting older and older. The medium age of the population in Japan is one of the highest in the world for this reason

In Singapore its even a big problem amongst the Chinese population. Many etnic Chinese ladies just don't want to be married anymore, because of the traditional dominant role of the mother-in-law.

The Asian man has his reputation against him, and he start to pay the price for that.

Edited October 12, 2010 by henryalleman

[atyclb]

If anyone believes me, I did not move to thailand for dating or women. Nonetheless have had experience with all levels of society.

bar girls; may be initially exciting for the uninitiated but they get very boring and old. high % not even found attractive anymore, not to mention their mentality. whats ur name, where you stay, etc etc.

middle class; also find high% boring unless they have hobbies, interests, artistic, sports, etc. not too thrilling to be with female couch potatoes. reliability is also distressing. they are often poorly reliable, dont show, show very late, often no call to notify. this bothers the hel_l out of my high function thai friends also. many seem be be in zombie like states. Basic courtesy is something they may not even be aware of. (some)

The is a significant problem with infertility among higher educated/higher stressed.

pro's; at least have basic education, usually university, not unusual for them to share the tab and or invite and actually cover the tab. Good luck finding this in bar girls.

affluent; have had good luck in this group. tend to be more reliable (with exceptions), more interesting (those with living experience abroad/travel/study. many of these have played musical instruments, sports active, hobbies, interests outside som dom. some also boring in their world of "going to the spa" for passive activity. thus far the segment with very high reliability, organization, punctuality are the physicians. If I am 5 minutes late for dinner they call me concerned.

If I could choose where to live I'd probably say Bali. Great beaches and water sports. Many Japanese surfer girls that I have much more in common with, not to mention no dreaded fear of a suntan. Thai female surfers are virtually non existent.

Edited October 12, 2010 by atyclb

[gregb]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

It is quite easily viewed in statistics everywhere. Being middle class, or living in a welfare society where you have a guaranteed government support, is basically a death sentence for the traditional institution of marriage. The simple fact is, marriage is hard. Most marriages go through a period where they are extremely fragile. Unless there are strong incentives to keep the couple together (in the past, this was "you will starve and die if you try and go it alone") people will break up. It isn't that people have changed. It is that people have become more wealthy. Even the poor live like kings of several centuries ago. Why stay in a difficult relationship when you know there are few penalties for leaving?

You can blame philandering men or unreasonable women if you want, but the fact is as long as we remain wealthy as we are today, divorce will continue to be the norm. Once industrial civilization has crashed and we've returned to a primarily feudalist society, then the peasants will no longer have the means to get divorced. They will remain too fixated on survival to worry about happiness, and they will stay married. The wealthy nobles meanwhile will have too much at stake to divorce except in very rare circumstances.

The crash and elimination of industrial civilization is really the only long term solution to the problem.

[Hardie]

I agree with the previous analysis if not the solution, which is pretty absurd to consider. Nevertheless, given world over-population, low birth rates can only be considered a good thing. There's nothing wrong with divorce anyway, better than a loveless marriage. The traditional Cleaver family model is a can of worms. Women may 'suffer in silence' as previously mentioned, or content themselves with SHOPPING!!!, but there's no substitute for the self-satisfaction of standing on your own two feet and earning your own money honestly and with dignity. It's done wonders for my wife.

[sarahsbloke]

It is quite easily viewed in statistics everywhere. Being middle class, or living in a welfare society where you have a guaranteed government support, is basically a death sentence for the traditional institution of marriage. The simple fact is, marriage is hard. Most marriages go through a period where they are extremely fragile. Unless there are strong incentives to keep the couple together (in the past, this was "you will starve and die if you try and go it alone") people will break up. It isn't that people have changed. It is that people have become more wealthy. Even the poor live like kings of several centuries ago. Why stay in a difficult relationship when you know there are few penalties for leaving?

Wealth has nothing to do with it, it's government!

As long as a government is prepared to support and feed single women, marriage won't work.

The western governments have replaced the role of men in their society.

[radiochaser]

"they were used to quick decision-making" Really??? I have never seen a Thai

make a quick decission about anything.

You obviously have no idea about Thais. It's more a racist comment you made. :jap:

"Off Topic response"

Why do you say lensta's comment is racist?

In your first sentence you imply that lensta's comment is based on ignorance, then follow that statement claiming lensta is racist. Ignorance in and of itself is not an indication of racism, just a lack of knowledge.

lensta may also be making a truthful statement about the only Thai people that he knows, that is, none of the Thai people that lensta knows are capable of making a quick decision.

On reading your response I could think that you are seeing racism where there may be none and your comment is based on ignorance as well.

I have grown tired of hearing accusations of "racism" where there no evidence of racism. If I see a group of people of xxxxx ethnic race and say, "I don't like them". Is that a racist statement or not?

There are some people hearing my comment that would automatically say I am a racist, or say that my comment is racist, not knowing that my comment is made about the group because all the people in the group are crack addicts and has nothing to do with their race. I don't like crack addicts! I don't like heroin addicts! It has nothing to do with the ethnicity of the person, it has to do with what addicts do to feed their addictions!

Edited October 13, 2010 by radiochaser

[atyclb]

It is quite easily viewed in statistics everywhere. Being middle class, or living in a welfare society where you have a guaranteed government support, is basically a death sentence for the traditional institution of marriage. The simple fact is, marriage is hard. Most marriages go through a period where they are extremely fragile. Unless there are strong incentives to keep the couple together (in the past, this was "you will starve and die if you try and go it alone") people will break up. It isn't that people have changed. It is that people have become more wealthy. Even the poor live like kings of several centuries ago. Why stay in a difficult relationship when you know there are few penalties for leaving?

Wealth has nothing to do with it, it's government!

As long as a government is prepared to support and feed single women, marriage won't work.

The western governments have replaced the role of men in their society.

A women should not stay with a man simply because there are no better options or support available. While I admit UK, and US women are not the most feminine in the world, nobody deserves to a virtual hostage in an unhappy relationship, male or female.

[thequick7]

women are wanting to have a more western style relationships where things are more equal, but until they become a society where the men don't buy their wives from the womens parents, male attitudes towards marriage are not going to change...