What Are The "secrets Of A Happy Marriage" ?

[huahin]

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Please read and add your wonderous responce

Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, a little wine and companionship. She goes Tuesday and I go Friday.

We sleep in seperate beds, hers in Bangkok mine in Phuket.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked her where she wanted to go for our anniverary, "Somewhere I haven't been for a long time" she said. So I suggested the Kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, an electric toaster and an electric bread maker. When she said that she had too many gadgets, but nowhere to sit down, I bought her an electric chair.

Remember that marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage

I married Miss Right, I just didn't know that her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to her for eighteen months - I don't like to interrupt her.

The last time we had a fight, it was my fault. She asked "What's on the TV?" I said"Dust".

In the begining, God created the earth and rested. Then, God created man and rested. Then God created woman. And since then neither God nor man has rested

[RDN]

http://www.cartalk.com/content/read-on/2001/08.18-2.html

Do you know the punishment for plagiarism?

I'll move this to the jokes section.

[bannork]

http://www.cartalk.com/content/read-on/2001/08.18-2.html

Do you know the punishment for plagiarism?

I'll move this to the jokes section.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

RDN,

Don't be too harsh on him, at least he let us enjoy the joke too, admittedly without acknowledging sources. How do you manage to spot the copies, a photographic memory?

[bino]

I laughed out loud at this;

The last time we had a fight, it was my fault. She asked "What's on the TV?" I said"Dust".

How to find the copies? Plug that same quote into google... found 299 matches.

[Jeff1]

Whoo , I tell ya ! Im a earth sign , My wifes a water sign . Together we make mud .

My wife wanted to have sex in a taxi , she told me to drive !

The late great Rodney Dangerfield , ( I thought i would throw that in so i didnt get in trouble )

[BambinA]

Whoo , I tell ya ! Im a earth sign , My wifes a water sign . Together we make mud .

My wife wanted to have sex in a taxi , she told me to drive !

The late great Rodney Dangerfield , ( I thought i would throw that in so i didnt get in trouble )

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

SOAP OPERA

Edited July 28, 2005 by BambinA

[Jeff1]

No , not a soap opera . Rodney Dangerfield is / was a great comedian . Who was always joked about not getting any respect and talking about he and his wife ...not getting along very well But for someone to understand his great humor would mean sleeping more than 30 miniutes a night . He is very deep

[huahin]

Sorry guys, I just couldn't help it. I fell off the chair laughing so much.

[Girlfrombar]

very good topic at the start... just wondered how to keep the married life happy

but turned to just a joke... with the great sense of humour!!!!!

[mnoorsapl]

luv' that line "We sleep in seperate beds, hers in Bangkok mine in Phuket."

lol..

[tripperj]

http://www.cartalk.com/content/read-on/2001/08.18-2.html

Do you know the punishment for plagiarism?

I'll move this to the jokes section.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

the auther on the site is unkown so it may not be plagiarism!!!!

[andyfletch]

1.) Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2.) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3.) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's degree and the woman gets her Masters.

4.) Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

- In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

5.) Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

6.) There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later hem uttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!

7.) Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

8.) When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

9.) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

10.) Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

11.) After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

12.) Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

13.) WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.

HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

14.) At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:

AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

15.) Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

16.) It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17). When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is new.