How About Sin Sod Demands After Marriage

[JoJo]

It is a mistake to marry a Thai IMO, but the damage is done.

I think that's a strange and racist statement. Perhaps you have had bad personal experiences with them to cause you to make such a remark.

Not all Thais are bad same as not all farangs are good. Same for every nationality on this planet!

then you won't get upset over it.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that you have to agree with it...

Not upset as it is no skin off my back. I just don't agree with a pre-set sinsot......if the guy wants to pay, pay what he thinks is fair or can afford, not dictated a certain sum.

Unfortunately it isn't likely to change, so as long as you recognise that and accept that you cannot change it

Sad but very true.

[Jai Dee]

It is a mistake to marry a Thai IMO, but the damage is done.

:D

The Dude strike again!!!

[ozzydom]

So Sin Sod in Western societies is what we regard as keeping up with the Jones,s as we call it.

As I understand from the postings, SinSod is akin to buying a cow,the price is evaluated on the breeding and potential of the animal.Hmmm.

I probably wrongly thought loss of face was to cause embarrasment to a person, or is it that pride and face are one and the same, like when you buy momma a cow and she walks around proudly displaying it, is that gaining face ?

And how about the huge % of b/g,s who are put into bars and brothels by their parents in order to send cash home, is this loss of face and can they regain it ?

This subject is a bit foreign to me as my wife is a 40yo ex factory worker from an average village family in Esaan and Sin Sod has never been mentioned, I just care for my wife and family as one would do in the West.

[britmaveric]

It is a mistake to marry a Thai IMO, but the damage is done. I would just shell out the cash to avoid friction. Too many times I see confrontation with Thais over cash an unwinnable situation. Don't listen to the cheapies here, just pay it, be done w/it and move on. 500K aint the end of the world

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Uh nice troll like comment.

[Jai Dee]

It is a mistake to marry a Thai IMO, but the damage is done. I would just shell out the cash to avoid friction. Too many times I see confrontation with Thais over cash an unwinnable situation. Don't listen to the cheapies here, just pay it, be done w/it and move on. 500K aint the end of the world

Uh nice troll like comment.

The Dude is well known for his incisively knowledgable posts Brit...

[Khun Larry]

Maybe just agree and then not address the issue again. Whenever they brimg it up come up with a Thai style excuse / lie, smile and keep it up like they do. If it works for them maybe it can work for you. Also, maybe tell her 500k is too small, how about a MIL. But this will take even more time to transfer in.

Your married to a Thai now, better practice avoiding confrontation and dust off your copy of "How to lie to your partner with a smile." Translated from Thai by David Smyth

[Nam Kao]

>>>> I suspect your outlaws

Beautiful Dr Pat LOL

[dereklev]

It is a mistake to marry a Thai IMO, but the damage is done. I would just shell out the cash to avoid friction. Too many times I see confrontation with Thais over cash an unwinnable situation. Don't listen to the cheapies here, just pay it, be done w/it and move on. 500K aint the end of the world

Uh nice troll like comment.

The Dude is well known for his incisively knowledgable posts Brit...

Well put Jai Dee.

His posts always have a well thought out theme! !

[mrbojangles]

It is a mistake to marry a Thai IMO, but the damage is done. I would just shell out the cash to avoid friction. Too many times I see confrontation with Thais over cash an unwinnable situation. Don't listen to the cheapies here, just pay it, be done w/it and move on. 500K aint the end of the world

Uh nice troll like comment.

The Dude is well known for his incisively knowledgable posts Brit...

Well put Jai Dee.

His posts always have a well thought out theme! !

He's a freakin IDIOT, are you sure his name is Dude or is it DUD

[Nam Kao]

OP Dont give them a dime, if they ask again put the boots to ...

Edited August 16, 2005 by Nam Kao

[dr_Pat_Pong]

It is a mistake to marry a Thai IMO, but the damage is done. I would just shell out the cash to avoid friction. Too many times I see confrontation with Thais over cash an unwinnable situation. Don't listen to the cheapies here, just pay it, be done w/it and move on. 500K aint the end of the world

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Uh nice troll like comment.

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The Dude is well known for his incisively knowledgable posts Brit...

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[a2396]

Do a search using the sin sot word and you will find the previous threads, and there are many, with the same posters saying don't pay, you are being taken, its a scam, blah blah blah and they don't even know your wife or her family.  Likewise, you don't know the posters

with this point of view's familiies or how well they get along with their Thai loved ones with this type of attitude.

The previous threads have some wonderful posts from falang who have paid sin sot and relate how wonderful the gift was and what great benefit it rendered them in the long run.  My neighbor across the street is paying  sin sot by buying a house for mom this year and he has been married two years.  I paid iby buying a house for mom t in the third year of the relationship.

Houses for the mom create a  permanent big increase in "face" in the village, somehting that keeps reaping benefits for the giver making "merit" for years thereafter.

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I really like this post.

Sinsot is meant as "divorce insurance" for your wife - the money is theoretically supposed to go to her, not her parents. However, it is the long tradition that the girl gives the money to her parents for their outstanding contribution in their lives.

There is a HUGE difference between Thai culture and Western culture when it comes to money. Westerners say "Do you love me, or MY money?" Thai's say "Do you love me, or YOUR money?" The sinsot is a way to show your generosity and your devotion to your wife. This includes taking on all of her "debts", such as helping her family.

Thai's believe that you owe an unpayable debt of gratitude to people who make an oustanding contribution to your life ... parents, teachers, the dr. who saved your life after the car accident... so forth. Showing your generosity and doing your best to repay those debts is really important in Thai culture. (this takes the place of indeendence in Western culture) This is more important than getting married, or who you marry. If the parents "put their foot down", it is the husband who loses. Not helping out her parents is a major sin that you will NEVER live down in your wifes eyes, no matter what she leads you to believe. (Unless she is westernized!)

I would say that since you can afford it, buy them a really nice house and leave it at that.

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The key here is what is REASONABLE. In my case, there seems to be no understanding of this concept, particularly from the greedy Mama. The wife is obviously under pressure to please her and is undermining the stability of our relationship and establishing trust with me. Throwing money around like "drunken sailors" is not going to be of benefit to anyone in the long run, because sooner or later the "golden goose" (me) will fly out of disgust.