Divorce--And The Need To Do So

[haybilly]

My ex-wife and I separated almost 5 years ago [ it might actually have been more--you know, time flies when you're having fun...] however, as we still communicate and get along reasonably well we have not yet got around to a divorce. I have been taking care of our daughter since the split and allow her to see her mother and Thai family whenever she wants, and can get the time from school since we live about 400 kms apart.

My ex has a new partner and two young kids but seems reluctant to help me sort out the divorce--I have been informed that, since technically still married, she may have a claim for a large chunk of my estate should I pass away before she does; although I have provided for her to inherit a small amount in my will, does her marital status, although albeit defunct, guarantee her precedence over my/our daughter who stands to inherit a much greater percentage of my 'wealth' on my death??

Although, to my untrained mind this should not be the case I am aware that the Thai legal system, when considering the division of assets between Thais and farang can appear to bend in favour of the Thai national--but, in this case, my daughter is also a Thai. If it is true that my ex-wife can still make a claim [ as though she was still in an ongoing relationship with me] then it is clear to see why she is unwilling to commit to a divorce.

Obviously, I would prefer for her to accept that we need to divorce, agree to a meeting at the Ampur and hey presto--I save a chunk of money on not having to involve a lawyer; incidentally--does it have to be the same Ampur that registered the marriage originally, or any Ampur in the Kingdom??

Finally, should my ex dig her heals in and refuse to 'play ball' and come willingly to the Ampur then is my only recourse to contract the services of a Thai lawyer versed in Divorce Law?? I guess I am asking, can I visit an Ampur, without my wife, based on the length of separation, the fact that she is in a long standing, stable relationship, with offspring, to another male and her reluctance to attend in person--and proceed to obtain an annulment on my own??

Apologies for the marathon topic but I would gratefully appreciate sensible replies.

[Mario2008]

If married without a nuptial agreement your wife will inherit from you, and not only that. When it does comes to a divorce, all the money/property acquired during the marriage has to be split.

In addition, as far as the law is concerned you are also the father of the children your wife has with her new partner and they will inherit also from you and you can be made to pay child support for them.

The law does allow you to repudiate the children as not yours, but only gives a limited time for that.

For a divorce with consent any amphur will do. If your wife doesn't consent, you will have to go to court and file for divorce there.

[rics21]

if u r not divorced, u can sue her for having a partner during the period of legal marriage.

u r not legal binding to pay a single cent to her.

[CWMcMurray]

The law state that the wife would get 50% and the remaining 50% would be split among your children.

Also as Mario pointed out, so long as you are legally married, in the eyes of the Law, all Children given birth to by your wife are considered to be your children.

[haybilly]

I am aware that this is early days in so far as some topics can run and run----however, I have had two [ oops, edit, now there are 3--thanks to cwmcmurray for helping out--even if it is to agree with Mario!] replies and, to my mind, they totally contradict each other.

Mario--are you serious in saying that I can be held responsible for the children that my ex has had with her new partner?? To be frank it was this liaison that split us up in the first place. I will be thoroughly f*****ed off if I am also held financially responsible for the children. What 'nuptial' agreement are you referring to, please, Mario? Do you mean some kind of a pre-nuptial whereby she agreed not to rip me off after we married?? A rare animal in Thailand, I think.

How correct is 'rics21'-- when he suggests that I could sue her for having a partner while legally married to me?? Not that I would but this just might be the ammunition I need to 'encourage' her to agree to a divorce--if it is indeed true.

[JurgenG]

If married without a nuptial agreement your wife will inherit from you, and not only that. When it does comes to a divorce, all the money/property acquired during the marriage has to be split.

In addition, as far as the law is concerned you are also the father of the children your wife has with her new partner and they will inherit also from you and you can be made to pay child support for them.

The law does allow you to repudiate the children as not yours, but only gives a limited time for that.

For a divorce with consent any amphur will do. If your wife doesn't consent, you will have to go to court and file for divorce there.

If you are married abroad but not registered in Thailand, which law apply for properties owned in Thailand ?

Also what happen to the properties bought under the wife name ? I heard that as a foreigner you're not allowed to own land but you will be given some time to sell the land and get the share you're entitled to.

[sarahsbloke]

I am aware that this is early days in so far as some topics can run and run----however, I have had two [ oops, edit, now there are 3--thanks to cwmcmurray for helping out--even if it is to agree with Mario!] replies and, to my mind, they totally contradict each other.

Mario--are you serious in saying that I can be held responsible for the children that my ex has had with her new partner?? To be frank it was this liaison that split us up in the first place. I will be thoroughly f*****ed off if I am also held financially responsible for the children. What 'nuptial' agreement are you referring to, please, Mario? Do you mean some kind of a pre-nuptial whereby she agreed not to rip me off after we married?? A rare animal in Thailand, I think.

How correct is 'rics21'-- when he suggests that I could sue her for having a partner while legally married to me?? Not that I would but this just might be the ammunition I need to 'encourage' her to agree to a divorce--if it is indeed true.

Children born to a married woman are the legal responsibility of the man she is married to. Paternity in Thailand is a legal thing, not a biological thing.

If you aren't married to a woman you have no legal obligations for any children she has with you. If she isn't married to anyone, her children have no father.

The courts usually award 100bht per day, per child, but there is no enforcement agency to collect the payments.

On the upside you are also normally given joint custody, so you can take the children away from their biological father for 1/2 the time.

[haybilly]

Holy Cow--this is a can of worms! Ignorance has not been bliss but it has certainly been better than this.

I am amazed that there is a law allowing Thai women to go off, while married, and have as many kids as they want with whosoever they want and then later on, down the road, claim for the little sods upbringing from the aggrieved partner who they left! Does this really make sense? Oh, btw, thanks to Sarahsbloke for the input but I can safely say that, unless only to piss him off, I will refrain from looking after the children born since our split--even if only for 50% of the time.

I can tell that it may indeed be time to find a Thai lawyer--I can already hear the rubbing of greedy little palms!

[sarahsbloke]

I am amazed that there is a law allowing Thai women to go off, while married, and have as many kids as they want with whosoever they want and then later on, down the road, claim for the little sods upbringing from the aggrieved partner who they left! Does this really make sense?

It actually makes perfect sense, the Thai guys hardly ever pay, the Thai ladies hardly ever take the Thai guys to court as it costs them money and they know the Thai guy won't pay anyway.

White guys are much dafter! (they often pay so it's worthwhile taking them to court)

[MikeyIdea]

A few things here;

- Mario--are you serious in saying that I can be held responsible for the children that my ex has had with her new partner?? Yes, he is The law assumes that you are the legal father, unless you repudiate them. Seen from another side, you have joint custody of them and thereby more rights to them than the real father has

-rics21 is not coming with something that you should pay attention to. Why sue? That she has another partner is a legal reason for you to divorce, use it and move on

- If you are married abroad but not registered in Thailand, which law apply for properties owned in Thailand ?

Marriage abroad can be authorised by a Thai court if evidence is provided, and then cancelled in the same hearing. Sample: Married abroad, 2 kids, mother has sole custody in Thailand. Divorce is next on the agenda.

Father petition court and court first authorise marriage = father gets shared custody, then assets are shared etc and marriage is cancelled

Answer: If marriage is registered in Thailand, then Thai laws apply. Either party can use foreign marriage evidence and petition court

Land wife bought during marriage; Whatever purchased during marriage is split 50/50 according to family law. Land wife bought while married and farang husband must have signed paper to say that the land is from "wifes asset before marriage". However, there is discussion if this really holds in a family court. I do not know if it does or not. Perhaps it is possible that a family court can see this solely from a family law perspective and if so, divorce and 50% could indeed be his (if he can prove that assets used came from him or really aquired during marriage). The husband then committed fraud when he signed the paper saying that means to buy property came from wife before marriage assets when it didn't I suppose, civil matter. I do not know what holds in court and not

Collection if mother is awarded child alimony: There is a working system in Thailand where people paying tax can get salary withheld to pay debt. This apply for child alimony too. Problem is if the guy doesn't have any registered income, as is the same everywhere in the world.

Children that the mother has with someone else - Don't worry OP, get a lawyer experienced in family law (NOT business or criminal law) and he will know what to do. Your "new" kids won't be a problem (unless time you have to repudiate them have passed), custody for the child you have now taken care of will still be 50/50 I suppose. Possession of the child has to be formalised. The mother can ask for money and she will get money awarded (peanuts - 3,100 to 5,000 bath per month or so depending on age) but mother MUST also share education and health costs. The law talks about rights AND responsibilities of parents. That can be your negotiation tool, if she can't share e.g. school fees.

Assets you puchased AFTER you and the wife decided to split up - the wife abandoned you. I don't know, get a lawyer experienced in family law

Good Luck

[MikeyIdea]

Can we move this post to family and children forum please, General is not the right place for it

[Beetlejuice]

If married without a nuptial agreement your wife will inherit from you, and not only that. When it does comes to a divorce, all the money/property acquired during the marriage has to be split.

In addition, as far as the law is concerned you are also the father of the children your wife has with her new partner and they will inherit also from you and you can be made to pay child support for them.

The law does allow you to repudiate the children as not yours, but only gives a limited time for that.

For a divorce with consent any amphur will do. If your wife doesn't consent, you will have to go to court and file for divorce there.

Right on 1 million %.

My advice to the OP is go and see a lawyer, like yesterday, before you become the fly and the spider comes to get you.

The wife has put you on ice until she considers it`s time to strike.

[Mario2008]

By law, as is the case in most countries, any child that is born during a marriage is considered to be the child of the husband. But Thai law allows you to deny your parenthood, but as said you have to do so within a certain time span. (within 1 year of the birth of the child and in no circumstance later than 10 years).

http://www.thailawonline.com/images/thaicivilcode/book%205%20title%201-3%20thai%20civil%20and%20commercial%20code%20.pdf

page 15 en following, section 1536 and 1539 and following.

Under Thai law you can divorce if both agree at the amphur and at that time enter any agreement you wish to make regarding splitting up the property and child support and custody etc.

If you can't agree, you have to divorce at the court and can only divorce on one of the reasons mentioned in the law. Adultery is one of them and would mean loss of face, in that sense it is a way to put pressure on your wife as she probably wants to avoid that. Anoter rule of Thai law is that since a few years you can now sue the person your wife committed adultery with for damages.

So you have ammunition to put her under pressure, but as you already seem to realize it might put pressure on the current relationship with your wife and your child in between the two of you.

I'm moving this to the family section as better suited there.

[Thanyaburi Mac]

Pretty good writeup attached of Thai law on divorce.

Mac

Divorce in Thailand.txt

[MikeyIdea]

Right on 1 million %.

My advice to the OP is go and see a lawyer, like yesterday, before you become the fly and the spider comes to get you.

The wife has put you on ice until she considers it`s time to strike.

I'd just like to comment on the last line in the above post - The wife has put you on ice until she considers it`s time to strike.

99.999% of all wifes in Thailand don't know enough of the law to plan to do this. Don't automatically assume bad intent

And don't automatically tell her that - becase you did this, now you're entitled to another 10 million bath

[JurgenG]

A few things here;

- Mario--are you serious in saying that I can be held responsible for the children that my ex has had with her new partner?? Yes, he is The law assumes that you are the legal father, unless you repudiate them. Seen from another side, you have joint custody of them and thereby more rights to them than the real father has

-rics21 is not coming with something that you should pay attention to. Why sue? That she has another partner is a legal reason for you to divorce, use it and move on

- If you are married abroad but not registered in Thailand, which law apply for properties owned in Thailand ?

Marriage abroad can be authorised by a Thai court if evidence is provided, and then cancelled in the same hearing. Sample: Married abroad, 2 kids, mother has sole custody in Thailand. Divorce is next on the agenda.

Father petition court and court first authorise marriage = father gets shared custody, then assets are shared etc and marriage is cancelled

Answer: If marriage is registered in Thailand, then Thai laws apply. Either party can use foreign marriage evidence and petition court

Land wife bought during marriage; Whatever purchased during marriage is split 50/50 according to family law. Land wife bought while married and farang husband must have signed paper to say that the land is from "wifes asset before marriage". However, there is discussion if this really holds in a family court. I do not know if it does or not. Perhaps it is possible that a family court can see this solely from a family law perspective and if so, divorce and 50% could indeed be his (if he can prove that assets used came from him or really aquired during marriage). The husband then committed fraud when he signed the paper saying that means to buy property came from wife before marriage assets when it didn't I suppose, civil matter. I do not know what holds in court and not

Collection if mother is awarded child alimony: There is a working system in Thailand where people paying tax can get salary withheld to pay debt. This apply for child alimony too. Problem is if the guy doesn't have any registered income, as is the same everywhere in the world.

Children that the mother has with someone else - Don't worry OP, get a lawyer experienced in family law (NOT business or criminal law) and he will know what to do. Your "new" kids won't be a problem (unless time you have to repudiate them have passed), custody for the child you have now taken care of will still be 50/50 I suppose. Possession of the child has to be formalised. The mother can ask for money and she will get money awarded (peanuts - 3,100 to 5,000 bath per month or so depending on age) but mother MUST also share education and health costs. The law talks about rights AND responsibilities of parents. That can be your negotiation tool, if she can't share e.g. school fees.

Assets you puchased AFTER you and the wife decided to split up - the wife abandoned you. I don't know, get a lawyer experienced in family law

Good Luck

Great answer !

Is there any lawyer that you can recommend ? I trust my gf, I hope my wife someday, but her family it's a complete different matter.

[Mario2008]

Might help if you tell where you are looking for a lawyer, Thailand is a large place .

[Beetlejuice]

Right on 1 million %.

My advice to the OP is go and see a lawyer, like yesterday, before you become the fly and the spider comes to get you.

The wife has put you on ice until she considers it`s time to strike.

I'd just like to comment on the last line in the above post - The wife has put you on ice until she considers it`s time to strike.

99.999% of all wifes in Thailand don't know enough of the law to plan to do this. Don't automatically assume bad intent

And don't automatically tell her that - becase you did this, now you're entitled to another 10 million bath

It`s not what they know but who they know.

Don`t worry she will be will advised. That`s what happened with my first brain dead wife in the States before she with the guidance of her family and friends took me to the cleaners.

[GooEng]

If married without a nuptial agreement your wife will inherit from you, and not only that. When it does comes to a divorce, all the money/property acquired during the marriage has to be split.

In addition, as far as the law is concerned you are also the father of the children your wife has with her new partner and they will inherit also from you and you can be made to pay child support for them.

The law does allow you to repudiate the children as not yours, but only gives a limited time for that.

For a divorce with consent any amphur will do. If your wife doesn't consent, you will have to go to court and file for divorce there.

unless things have changed since was told about it - a man can divorce his wife unilaterally if the grounds for divorce are adultery.

as she has two kids with her new man, i think proof of her adultery shouldn't be an issue.

apparently women cannot divorce their husbands with adultery as grounds for divorce.

that's how it used to be anyway - things may have changed.

[Junglejingle]

wow...just reading this is exhausting....in my honest opinion....seems easiest if you just don't get married!!

[haybilly]

I would like to say thanks to all of you who spent the time to answer my questions--it's good to now that some people on Thaivisa can still comment objectively and helpfully. [ I have become somewhat jaded of late by all the flaming, backbiting and insulting comments that have appeared--I am happy to say that, in this instance, you folk have been very informative--Mario, in particular, but also Sarahsbloke and Mikeyidea]--thanks to all posters for keeping things civil.

I see now that, although Divorce can be a headache it is something that needs to be cleared up as soon as the relationship has broken down; not doing this appears to open up a can of worms. I guess my reluctance stemmed from a desire not to upset our daughter any more---she was very saddened by the original split, and in an attempt to keep the peace and stay on reasonable terms with her mother.

My first step, now, must be to try to convince the ex-wife [ sorry--not yet ex, it seems] that coming to a mutual agreement, where she still retains 100% ownership of the three properties that she has managed to 'acquire' during our 9 year marriage--is in her own best interest and that her playing 'hardball' [ as the Americans say] will probably result in her loss of face and maybe, possibly, even a 50% division of the houses. I suppose I could even mention the fact that I could go for 50% custody on her 'illegally' obtained children. Some difficult negotiations lie ahead--there is also the extremely unlikely, though remotely possible, thought that her new man may come up with an altogether much more Thai way of dealing with the situation. I must certainly choose my words with caution.

Interesting stuff, indeed, and I repeat my thanks to all who contributed.

Please keep the advice coming if anyone can add any more pearls of wisdom--that may help in this case or the many others.

[MikeyIdea]

I would like to clarify one thing I wrote

mother can ask for money and she will get money awarded (peanuts - 3,100 to 5,000 bath per month or so depending on age) but mother MUST also share education and health costs. The law talks about rights AND responsibilities of parents. That can be your negotiation tool, if she can't share e.g. school fees

What I mean is not… that the mother must share education and health costs. Thai family courts don’t mind negotiations, actually they like negotiations, they know that parties are much more likely to honour what has been negotiated than what was ordered…

What I mean is that the law specifies rights and responsibilities, education and health costs are a shared responsibility and doesn’t automatically go to one parent in a separation. In a divorce proceeding, child alimony is calculated according to formula based on age (and it’s very low). The formula assumes that parents jointly share education costs and health costs for the child after separation. It is not automatically assumed that the rich father takes that on so if you do, then make sure you get something in return for it. A rich farang father who wants his child to go in an international school costing half a million bath per year can’t demand a poor isaan farmer girl to pay half of that of course, that’s enough to support the whole village with basics. Reasonable is depending on ability to pay. Thai courts will of course not accept that al Thai schools are crap (and they aren't)

Make sure that you always think of the best of the child, revenge and other feelings that one may have when separation finally in inevitable are absolutely not beneficial for the child

[MikeyIdea]

Right on 1 million %.

My advice to the OP is go and see a lawyer, like yesterday, before you become the fly and the spider comes to get you.

The wife has put you on ice until she considers it`s time to strike.

I'd just like to comment on the last line in the above post - The wife has put you on ice until she considers it`s time to strike.

99.999% of all wifes in Thailand don't know enough of the law to plan to do this. Don't automatically assume bad intent

And don't automatically tell her that - becase you did this, now you're entitled to another 10 million bath

It`s not what they know but who they know.

Don`t worry she will be will advised. That`s what happened with my first brain dead wife in the States before she with the guidance of her family and friends took me to the cleaners.

Possibly, the knowledge of the law in this area in Thailand is unbelievably low so I'd still say not necessarily. Also Thai law is supporting the child, American law is not supporting the child first of all, big difference in intent of the law

One good weapon (so to speak) I find to be to discuss the best of the child and what is best for the child, I find Thais better than westerners at shifting to / accepting what is best for the child

[MikeyIdea]

If married without a nuptial agreement your wife will inherit from you, and not only that. When it does comes to a divorce, all the money/property acquired during the marriage has to be split.

In addition, as far as the law is concerned you are also the father of the children your wife has with her new partner and they will inherit also from you and you can be made to pay child support for them.

The law does allow you to repudiate the children as not yours, but only gives a limited time for that.

For a divorce with consent any amphur will do. If your wife doesn't consent, you will have to go to court and file for divorce there.

unless things have changed since was told about it - a man can divorce his wife unilaterally if the grounds for divorce are adultery.

as she has two kids with her new man, i think proof of her adultery shouldn't be an issue.

apparently women cannot divorce their husbands with adultery as grounds for divorce.

that's how it used to be anyway - things may have changed.

Book V - Chapter VI - Termination of Marriage - Section 1516

Grounds of action for divorce are as follows:

(1) The husband has given maintenance to or honored such other woman as his wife, or the wife has committed adultery, the other spouse may enter a claim for divorce;

(2) One spouse is guilty of misconduct, notwithstanding whether such misconduct is a criminal offence or not, if it causes the other:

-a- To be seriously ashamed;

-b- To be insulted of hated or account of continuance of being husband or wife of the spouse having committed the misconduct; or

-c- To sustain excessive injury or trouble where the condition, position and cohabitation as husband and wife are taken into consideration; the latter may enter a claim for divorce;

(3) One spouse has caused serious harm or torture to the body or mind of the other, or has seriously insulted the other or his or her ascendants; the latter may enter a claim for divorce;

(4) One spouse has deserted the other for more than one year; the latter may enter a claim for divorce;

(4/1) One spouse had been sentenced by a final judgment of the court and has been imprisoned for more than one year in the offence committed without any participation, consent or in the knowledge of the other, and the cohabitation as husband and wife will cause the other party sustain excessive injury or trouble, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;

(4/2) The husband and wife voluntarily live separately because of being unable to cohabit peacefully for more than three years, or live separately for more than three years by the order of the court; either spouse may enter a claim for divorce;

(5) One spouse has been adjudged to have disappeared, or as left his or her domicile or residence for more than three years and being uncertain whether he or she is living or dead;

(6) One spouse has failed to give proper maintenance and support to the other, or committed acts seriously adverse to the relationship of husband and wife to such an extent that the other has been in excessive trouble where the condition, position and cohabitation as husband and wife are taking into consideration, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;

(7) One spouse has been an insane person for more than three years continuously and such insanity is hardly curable so that the continuance of marriage cannot be expected, the other may enter a claim for divorce;

(8) One spouse has broken a bond of good behavior executed by him or her, the other spouse may enter a claim for divorce;

(9) One spouse is suffering from a communicable and dangerous disease which is incurable and may cause injury to the other, the latter may file a claim for divorce;

(10) One spouse has a physical disadvantage so as to be permanently unable to cohabit as husband and wife; the other may enter a claim for divorce.

---

The law supports divorce from both parties equally, wife can also divorce if husband pays to much money to other another woman

[haybilly]

Thanks again to Mikeyidea for your last couple or more posts--very informative and useful/usable.

While I am hoping that she will see sense, I need to prepare for the other outcome and your final post gives a lot of useful info; incidentally, no one has answered a quick question that I posed earlier, that is, to which Amphur can a request, mutual that is, be taken--anywhere, or the Amphur used for the marriage?? We married in Phuket but both live north of Bangkok these days.

My main hope is that she will wish to avoid all things legal, lawyers, courts etc.. and the probable loss of face involved in being an adulterer, the possible legal action that a lawyer might suggest should be taken against her partner, even, maybe, the compensation that I may be entitled to due to my 'loss of face', property split issues etc...--- plus the divorce need not be contested since we have lived apart for more than 3 years--all in all, any sensible individual would agree, but--------------- TIT.

[MikeyIdea]

I would like to say thanks to all of you who spent the time to answer my questions--it's good to now that some people on Thaivisa can still comment objectively and helpfully. [ I have become somewhat jaded of late by all the flaming, backbiting and insulting comments that have appeared--I am happy to say that, in this instance, you folk have been very informative--Mario, in particular, but also Sarahsbloke and Mikeyidea]--thanks to all posters for keeping things civil.

I see now that, although Divorce can be a headache it is something that needs to be cleared up as soon as the relationship has broken down; not doing this appears to open up a can of worms. I guess my reluctance stemmed from a desire not to upset our daughter any more---she was very saddened by the original split, and in an attempt to keep the peace and stay on reasonable terms with her mother.

My first step, now, must be to try to convince the ex-wife [ sorry--not yet ex, it seems] that coming to a mutual agreement, where she still retains 100% ownership of the three properties that she has managed to 'acquire' during our 9 year marriage--is in her own best interest and that her playing 'hardball' [ as the Americans say] will probably result in her loss of face and maybe, possibly, even a 50% division of the houses. I suppose I could even mention the fact that I could go for 50% custody on her 'illegally' obtained children. Some difficult negotiations lie ahead--there is also the extremely unlikely, though remotely possible, thought that her new man may come up with an altogether much more Thai way of dealing with the situation. I must certainly choose my words with caution.

Interesting stuff, indeed, and I repeat my thanks to all who contributed.

Please keep the advice coming if anyone can add any more pearls of wisdom--that may help in this case or the many others.

I am glad to hear you thinking of the child first of all, that is not always the case. Yes, the child is often the hardest hit victim in separations and daughters often more interested in relations than boys and more affected to. How old is the child?

I like mutual agreement and it should be thoroughly explored, parents still on talking terms, definately best option for the child but I wouls also like to point out that you should in no way be afraid of the Thai Juvenile court system if that can't be. I actually think you should be glad you are here. They are known NOT to be biased against fathers or westerners and they very much so take decisions in the best interest of the child. If you prove yourself to be a caring and loving father who live in Bangkok and take care of your child and she goes to school there and the mother lives 400 km away, then a Thai court will not want to change that. There is no reason to remove custody of the mother of course and mothers visitation rights are almost holy in Thailand so there is not that much for a court to do with the custody / possession part. Father can get 5/2 and it is not fathers responsibility to pay for travelling so that mother can see child or perhaps father has child during school terms and mother during holidays, again not automatically fathers responsibility to pay travel costs but you probably will anyway if it is good for the child. Point is; Considering the best of the child, well, there's nothing to change really, is there? So the court won't change much either. Here is the link to a custody case that a Thai friend of mine went through, good to read and you will understand more what the intention of the law is

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/337923-my-friends-custody-battle-for-his-2-children/

What you suggest regarding assets / money is to me too kind. Mind you, the court will see 3,100 to 5,000 bath per month something in child alimony to the mother (if she asks for it) and when it comes to assets, Thai law is easy; whatever you had before marriage is yours, whatever was puchased during marriage is split 50/50. This is NOT America, reset your brain, welcome to Thailand Her playing hardball as you put it doesn't mean that she would get very far in Thailand. Laws are different. The intention of the law is not that the ex wife should be able to live on her ex husband, like in America...

3 properties? You are more kind than what I can afford to be, and perhaps more kind than what you have to be too

Good Luck

[Mario2008]

You can divorce at any amphur. Don't forget to bring the marriage certificate, they will need to be returned and instead you will get a divorce certificate.

You could start with discussing that you just found out that you are the legal father of her friends children and how to go about that and change it to her new partner being the legal father. What I mean to say is that her partner can influence her too.

[MikeyIdea]

Thanks again to Mikeyidea for your last couple or more posts--very informative and useful/usable.

While I am hoping that she will see sense, I need to prepare for the other outcome and your final post gives a lot of useful info; incidentally, no one has answered a quick question that I posed earlier, that is, to which Amphur can a request, mutual that is, be taken--anywhere, or the Amphur used for the marriage?? We married in Phuket but both live north of Bangkok these days.

My main hope is that she will wish to avoid all things legal, lawyers, courts etc.. and the probable loss of face involved in being an adulterer, the possible legal action that a lawyer might suggest should be taken against her partner, even, maybe, the compensation that I may be entitled to due to my 'loss of face', property split issues etc...--- plus the divorce need not be contested since we have lived apart for more than 3 years--all in all, any sensible individual would agree, but--------------- TIT.

Mario2008s post offer good advice as always.

Most Thais know the simplicity of how assets are split when divorce comes. It is very logical and most Thais would not object either actually. I suppose you expect 50/50 (do Americans expect that? From what I've heard, it's more like the wife gets more than 50% all the time), the mother will first want 100% of the properties (she has seen this as hers for a long time now) but it shouldn't be impossible to reason with her if you first mention the childrens best including Mario2008s comment, then it's important for the child that we can stay on talking terms, then hope that this can be cleared without going to court, then what she actually already probably knows but doesn't want to accept - that Thai law actually only supports 50/50 split, then it's actually the same when husband is a farang, then but I am prepared to offer you more than that if we can agree

I don't think you would get anywhere suing really (compensations are very small anyway), juvenile court judges are a bit bored with that type of talking too. If it comes to court case, let the mother be the one saying that she doesn't want to see you, you tell the judge that it is important for the child that the parents can communicate

Good Luck

[haybilly]

Once again--excellent advice from Mikeyidea and Mario--a you say I would much prefer if things remain 'on an even keel' and the relationship between daughter and mother/mother's family can continue--my daughter is probably more fond/attached to her aunt [mother's older sister] and her aunt's daughter than her mother--so, as you suggest, I shall be trying my utmost to come to a sensible, non-confrontational solution.

Many thanks for the wise words--I shall be following the advice given as far as possible.

[elliss]

Pretty good writeup attached of Thai law on divorce.

Mac

posts like this , scare the shit out of me , if/when, i ever consider marriage .