Wallaby Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) pjclark1 - I misread your last line. I thought you said.. 'have you met her in prison' Nearly choked on my beer. Inmysights, yes it is common for Thai men to pay sin sod to Thai brides. Edited January 2, 2011 by Wallaby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjclark1 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Also you suggest she is working as a teacher. Schoolteachers get reliable wages, free health cover and pensions. No many Thai ladies want to give that sort of job up (if they really have such a job) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danbradster Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Chunky is actually correct. traditionally it was to show the family you had the money to look after the daughter.. but as most things connected with money here its been changed. personally i would walk the family sound like complete pricks. When you say village, i take it that she is not bkk born. 1 mill is almost hiso prices. (i am wondering. How the hell you first met. considering you were on holiday it's dam_n hard meeting a "good girl") Can you describe hiso a little more? Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunky1 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Now if we marry in BKK as she says shewants to, what would be the consequences if I did do as said here and delay thepayment, bank late money or for whatever reason and live with her, as she hassaid she wants to stop work as soon as I arrive so I will be supporting herfrom then on. Perfect Catch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 pjclark1 - I misread your last line. I thought you said.. 'have you met her in prison' Nearly choked on my beer. Inmysights, yes it is common for Thai men to pay sin sod to Thai brides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAZZELL Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) run The sin sot thing was never raised when I married my THAI husband. I asked him how much he was willing to pay my parents in England as a joke, and he told me 'well, they never asked' LOL! You farang men are, judging from the many threads on this forum re this topic seem to be expected to pay. I would be interested to learn if any race (including Asians), other than us whities are expected to pay up? To whit, is it simply because we are Caucasian and thus perceived (erroneously) to be wealthier/cashed up than Thais? Who are, of course the poorest people on the planet ... Two examples: Thai guy, chef in my local pub in the UK saving to pay 150,000 for his gf in Thailand (don't know what job she does). Thai guy, MBA from Thammasat, about to pay 350,000 (gf is lower middle class. Graduate, was a receptionist) Not sure if they're going to get it back RAZZ Edited January 2, 2011 by RAZZELL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Chunky is actually correct. traditionally it was to show the family you had the money to look after the daughter.. but as most things connected with money here its been changed. personally i would walk the family sound like complete pricks. When you say village, i take it that she is not bkk born. 1 mill is almost hiso prices. (i am wondering. How the hell you first met. considering you were on holiday it's dam_n hard meeting a "good girl") We met on TLL August 2009 and have been chatting till for we met in Thai in June 2010, since then we have chatted every day. I did find out though that she had two previous TBF she did not tell me about said she was a virgin but has since come clean, after i saw the Hi5 pics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Also you suggest she is working as a teacher. Schoolteachers get reliable wages, free health cover and pensions. No many Thai ladies want to give that sort of job up (if they really have such a job) Yes agreed but she is not full time part time and only gets 7500 B pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 You should follow moonrakers advice, he's the guy that replied to you at the start of the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Chunky is actually correct. traditionally it was to show the family you had the money to look after the daughter.. but as most things connected with money here its been changed. personally i would walk the family sound like complete pricks. When you say village, i take it that she is not bkk born. 1 mill is almost hiso prices. (i am wondering. How the hell you first met. considering you were on holiday it's dam_n hard meeting a "good girl") We met on TLL August 2009 and have been chatting till for we met in Thai in June 2010, since then we have chatted every day. I did find out though that she had two previous TBF she did not tell me about said she was a virgin but has since come clean, after i saw the Hi5 pics hahahaha, young man, stand back, ease up, whoa boy. Why don't you try getting her a visa to visit you for a couple of months and see what happens after that. One step at a time. If it doesn't work out, don't worry, there are plenty to choose from. Edit: spelling Edited January 2, 2011 by Wallaby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmysights Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 pjclark1 - I misread your last line. I thought you said.. 'have you met her in prison' Nearly choked on my beer. Inmysights, yes it is common for Thai men to pay sin sod to Thai brides. I didn't specify THAI men, I am aware of this particular cultural aspect. I am aware that the BRIDE'S family are expected provide the dowry (same sin sot) in India, for example, which is of course contrary to Thailand's culture. But does it work the other way around here in Thailand apropos the Japanese/Nigerian/Turkish/Chinese et al MAN? Is it only Caucasian men who are expected to pay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaicbr Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Chunky is actually correct. traditionally it was to show the family you had the money to look after the daughter.. but as most things connected with money here its been changed. personally i would walk the family sound like complete pricks. When you say village, i take it that she is not bkk born. 1 mill is almost hiso prices. (i am wondering. How the hell you first met. considering you were on holiday it's dam_n hard meeting a "good girl") We met on TLL August 2009 and have been chatting till for we met in Thai in June 2010, since then we have chatted every day. I did find out though that she had two previous TBF she did not tell me about said she was a virgin but has since come clean, after i saw the Hi5 pics mr rodney... stop being an arse and walk away.. you know thats really why you are here on this thread.... so your gut feeling can be reinforced. another way is to put up her TLL name and find out how many blokes have been there already EDIT.. Have you checked all the other dating sites to see if she is on them? Edited January 2, 2011 by thaicbr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Chunky is actually correct. traditionally it was to show the family you had the money to look after the daughter.. but as most things connected with money here its been changed. personally i would walk the family sound like complete pricks. When you say village, i take it that she is not bkk born. 1 mill is almost hiso prices. (i am wondering. How the hell you first met. considering you were on holiday it's dam_n hard meeting a "good girl") Can you describe hiso a little more? Thanks! As said we met on TLL, she is a teacher in a remote north village. Was at Uni in BKK met a Thai guy her first, broke up, came home to work as part time admin/teacher as her mother is a teacher. After we started chatting in August 2009, i came to thai/vietnam for work so did not chat to her for for some 3 months, as i had just lost contact so she met another Thai guy as she said she did not know if i would contact here again. We met in the June again and it started from there. I went to see the family and for the first 3 days she would not even let me touch her. the next time we met two weeks later we started the relationship. it has grown since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lannarebirth Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Sinsod not your biggest problem here. That you can simply say "no" to and let the chips fall where they may. Your bigger problems are that this girl will always be subject to the demands of her family as opposed to putting your interests first. Secondly, she was only honest with you once you caught her in a lie. Doesn't it make you wonder what things you haven't discovered yet? Thirdly, you've spent virtually no time with her. I sure as hell wouldn't be rushing into anything here trying to make everyone else happy. Think of yourself a bit here. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 pjclark1 - I misread your last line. I thought you said.. 'have you met her in prison' Nearly choked on my beer. Inmysights, yes it is common for Thai men to pay sin sod to Thai brides. I didn't specify THAI men, I am aware of this particular cultural aspect. I am aware that the BRIDE'S family are expected provide the dowry (same sin sot) in India, for example, which is of course contrary to Thailand's culture. But does it work the other way around here in Thailand apropos the Japanese/Nigerian/Turkish/Chinese et al MAN? Is it only Caucasian men who are expected to pay? No her sister is about to marry and the husband to be is only paying 150000 and the sister has a local shop .... odd the Thai pays 150000 small wedding and gets a shop and home thrown in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Sinsod not your biggest problem here. That you can simply say "no" to and let the chips fall where they may. Your bigger problems are that this girl will always be subject to the demands of her family as opposed to putting your interests first. Secondly, she was only honest with you once you caught her in a lie. Doesn't it make you wonder what things you haven't discovered yet? Thirdly, you've spent virtually no time with her. I sure as hell wouldn't be rushing into anything here trying to make everyone else happy. Think of yourself a bit here. Good Luck. Well said correct I have just call a thai friend and his wife having spent some years in Aus is wiling to call the father and sus the situation out and to tell him as she feels the sin sod is far too much. Thanks for the advice I do feel she loves me i have checked her out best i can but to be happy for me to pay that sort of money makes me worry who comes first I think after she chats to father sh1t will hit the fan Edited January 2, 2011 by RodneyAkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 If you are just a bit unsure of whether she is being honest with you why not set up a 2nd yahoo or hotmail account (or whatever you use) and contact her. Just ask her a couple of questions, first one being 'do you have a bf'. Should put your mind at ease.....maybe. Good luck, and I'd like to know the outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 If you are just a bit unsure of whether she is being honest with you why not set up a 2nd yahoo or hotmail account (or whatever you use) and contact her. Just ask her a couple of questions, first one being 'do you have a bf'. Should put your mind at ease.....maybe. Good luck, and I'd like to know the outcome. Now that, is a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Chunky is actually correct. traditionally it was to show the family you had the money to look after the daughter.. but as most things connected with money here its been changed. personally i would walk the family sound like complete pricks. When you say village, i take it that she is not bkk born. 1 mill is almost hiso prices. (i am wondering. How the hell you first met. considering you were on holiday it's dam_n hard meeting a "good girl") We met on TLL August 2009 and have been chatting till for we met in Thai in June 2010, since then we have chatted every day. I did find out though that she had two previous TBF she did not tell me about said she was a virgin but has since come clean, after i saw the Hi5 pics mr rodney... stop being an arse and walk away.. you know thats really why you are here on this thread.... so your gut feeling can be reinforced. though easy enough to setup a new hotmail i don't know about and her friends that mail her are all using many different accounts another way is to put up her TLL name and find out how many blokes have been there already EDIT.. Have you checked all the other dating sites to see if she is on them? Yes i have acces to her mail in fact she gave it to me, but i did see the mail before she gave me access and nothing, it was clean but did find that she was still on TLL she said that was just to learn english and closed the account. also she was on a German Dating site that was still live nothing in there. she said she had forgotten about that. I have to believe her as there was nothing in the mail and she had not been there for months. Having said that all her out mail i cannot see as she sends from her personal comp. i did see in her forwarded mail some rather sexy pics she forwarded to people. Edited January 2, 2011 by RodneyAkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurnell Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 20 years in Thailand and I have never heard of anyone paying 500k sinsod, especially for an upcountry, part time teacher on 7,500 a month. I paid less than a 3rd of what you have been asked and my wife currently earns more than most expats on this forum and is well known in the Bangkok business community. My personal opinion is that you are being taken for a ride. A flat "No" and see where the relationship goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAWP Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Sin sod to show wealth (security) is to be returned. Sin sod not returned (seem to be very common in Issan) is not for showing wealth but supporting the family. So add 'if I pay this, on the day we have signed the marriage papers, then I will never - ever - pay a Baht more.' They can choose between a one-off payment or on-going support. And be firm with this. Good luck. Also you suggest she is working as a teacher. Schoolteachers get reliable wages, free health cover and pensions. No many Thai ladies want to give that sort of job up (if they really have such a job) Yes agreed but she is not full time part time and only gets 7500 B pm So what is she expecting to do? Stay at home and drink beer with the neighbors all day? Please, don't make the same mistake as so many others, don't marry before you know someone, IN PERSON, for atleast 1 year...MINIMUM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) If you are just a bit unsure of whether she is being honest with you why not set up a 2nd yahoo or hotmail account (or whatever you use) and contact her. Just ask her a couple of questions, first one being 'do you have a bf'. Should put your mind at ease.....maybe. Good luck, and I'd like to know the outcome. Now that, is a good idea. Ok i did that and she did chat to me thinking it was another man from Norway. i chatted a few words she said she had a BF from UK i then said give me your email so can send you some pics, she gave me another mail account. When i challenged her she said it was her mothers true it was her mothers name but the used name was hers the only one in her real name. Again her job is to setup mail accounts for the teachers so she has may accounts for the staff i have checked all nothing there. When i said to her why did you give your mail to a stranger she replied that she did not want him to see her profile. well that bull as if he was chatting to her on MSN he can see the profile and email. she has become wise now to that. Very cunning or just naive. she just seems so plausible. telling me she did not know what to do and did tell the man that she has=d a BF true she did but to give another account could mean she is still touting and was ultra wary. I can open her TLL again and see what happens how else can i check her or TLL any ideas Edited January 2, 2011 by RodneyAkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 All that and you are still considering handing over a large amount of cash. So what is your email address anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 anyone out there willing to try to contact her and see what the result is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAWP Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Ok i did that and she did chat to me thinking it was another man from Norway. i chatted a few words she said she had a BF from UK i then said give me your email so can send you some pics, she gave me another mail account. When i challenged her she said it was her mothers true it was her mothers name but the used name was hers the only one in her real name. Again her job is to setup mail accounts for the teachers so she has may accounts for the staff i have checked all nothing there. When i said to her why did you give your mail to a stranger she replied that she did not want him to see her profile. well that bull as if he was chatting to her on MSN he can see the profile and email. she has become wise now to that. Very cunning or just naive. she just seems so plausible. telling me she did not know what to do and did tell the man that she has=d a BF true she did but to give another account could mean she is still touting and was ultra wary You did the wrong steps - don't ever tell her that you found anything out. Don't confront her and allow her to lie to you. Just silently assemble information. If you are smart you would have had the account with the other guy doing a submarine lurking for atleast a month. I am going to guess you confronted her after talking one or two times now. What girl jumps in bed with a man after talking with them over email 2 times? Not many - hence she would not even really be exposing anything after such a short time. Besides, it is all very plausible that she gave the other account to allow herself to keep her normal account a secret from other men - to not be bothered, not have strangers/stalkers send her messages she did not want to get but would make you jealous etc. But now you will not know. If you do the submarine approach you will never have to approach her - you will KNOW when there is anything to be worried about. If for example she message back to your 'kind but not pushy' submarine account the day after you go home and she accepts to meet 'you' on 'your' next trip there. Or if she asks 'you' for money for a meeting in the night, etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAWP Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 And don't ask for help here - some guys enjoy taking your plea for help and sabotaging it, emailing her and telling her that you are looking her up, sending a link to this thread etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 If you are smart you would have had the account with the other guy doing a submarine lurking for atleast a month. I dunno, 30 minutes from the proposed submarine account to posting the results on this forum seems enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huey Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 If you are just a bit unsure of whether she is being honest with you why not set up a 2nd yahoo or hotmail account (or whatever you use) and contact her. Just ask her a couple of questions, first one being 'do you have a bf'. Should put your mind at ease.....maybe. Good luck, and I'd like to know the outcome. Now that, is a good idea. Ok i did that and she did chat to me thinking it was another man from Norway. i chatted a few words she said she had a BF from UK i then said give me your email so can send you some pics, she gave me another mail account. When i challenged her she said it was her mothers true it was her mothers name but the used name was hers the only one in her real name. Again her job is to setup mail accounts for the teachers so she has may accounts for the staff i have checked all nothing there. When i said to her why did you give your mail to a stranger she replied that she did not want him to see her profile. well that bull as if he was chatting to her on MSN he can see the profile and email. she has become wise now to that. Very cunning or just naive. she just seems so plausible. telling me she did not know what to do and did tell the man that she has=d a BF true she did but to give another account could mean she is still touting and was ultra wary. I can open her TLL again and see what happens how else can i check her or TLL any ideas Oh crap dude, I didn't read this before I made my first post. If she was real she wouldn't even be chatting with another man period. Much less giving out email addresses that she has access too. Get a Clue (and I ain't talkin bout Col Mustard in the library with the candle stick) and: Run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunky1 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Listen OP, there are many many jealous guys here. This girl seems like a real dream come true. Yes, she is on various dating sites and yes she is sending sexy pictures all over the internet to random men, yes she is in contact with men all over the globe including Germany and Norway - but so what? It's nice to find a girl who is international and cultured. Yes, as some of the jealous guys on here have mentioned, she has already lied to you and it is sort of worrying that she plans to quit her employment as soon as you arrive and then plans to live off of you for the rest of her life, but in my experience, Thai women have very small appetites and can be fed rather cheaply. Yes, it is worrying that despite her lack of virginity and earning potential that her father is demanding that you pay him 500,000 baht for the right to marry and then support her for the rest of her life but guess what, there is no set price for love because love is the most valuable thing there is that you can buy from an Isaan father-in-law. Many of our users are obviously jealous that you found such a perfect girl in a country with such a very limited supply of available women. My advice is to pay the 500,000 baht. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodneyAkin Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Ok i did that and she did chat to me thinking it was another man from Norway. i chatted a few words she said she had a BF from UK i then said give me your email so can send you some pics, she gave me another mail account. When i challenged her she said it was her mothers true it was her mothers name but the used name was hers the only one in her real name. Again her job is to setup mail accounts for the teachers so she has may accounts for the staff i have checked all nothing there. When i said to her why did you give your mail to a stranger she replied that she did not want him to see her profile. well that bull as if he was chatting to her on MSN he can see the profile and email. she has become wise now to that. Very cunning or just naive. she just seems so plausible. telling me she did not know what to do and did tell the man that she has=d a BF true she did but to give another account could mean she is still touting and was ultra wary You did the wrong steps - don't ever tell her that you found anything out. Don't confront her and allow her to lie to you. Just silently assemble information. If you are smart you would have had the account with the other guy doing a submarine lurking for atleast a month. I am going to guess you confronted her after talking one or two times now. What girl jumps in bed with a man after talking with them over email 2 times? Not many - hence she would not even really be exposing anything after such a short time. Besides, it is all very plausible that she gave the other account to allow herself to keep her normal account a secret from other men - to not be bothered, not have strangers/stalkers send her messages she did not want to get but would make you jealous etc. But now you will not know. If you do the submarine approach you will never have to approach her - you will KNOW when there is anything to be worried about. If for example she message back to your 'kind but not pushy' submarine account the day after you go home and she accepts to meet 'you' on 'your' next trip there. Or if she asks 'you' for money for a meeting in the night, etc... Correct i <deleted>**ked up on that i should have played it out what a bummer Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts