Knocking One Out

[PattayaOneTeam]

In Defense of the Manly Art

By Sodom N. Gomorrah

(Note: S. Tsow is on vacation. Our guest columnist during his absence is Sodom N. Gomorrah.)

Recently there was a brief kerfuffle in the media about fledgling U.S. politician Christine O'Donnell, who opposes masturbation. “The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. You can't masturbate without lust!” she declared in 1996.

She's right on both points. Personal experience reveals that lust is essential to masturbation, and in Matthew 5:28 Jesus tells us, “Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

I've always been a big fan of Jesus, but on this issue I'm afraid he was a bit harsh. His dictum makes every man an adulterer, because we have all lusted after women at one time or another, and often with great enthusiasm, especially in go-go bars. I prefer the more liberal viewpoint of a 19th-century Hindu saint who declared, “Mental sin is no sin in the Kali Yuga.” (That's the era we're currently stuck in.)

Back in the days of when Bill Clinton was President of the United States, a top official was forced to resign when she advocated teaching masturbation in the public schools. She thought it would alleviate the problem of teenage pregnancies.

Boy, was she stupid. You don't have to TEACH masturbation, lady. Every young man will find out about it soon enough on his own. It's one of those instinctive skills that emerge spontaneously during puberty.

It's like picking your zits. Nobody has to teach you how to pick your zits. Nobody has to teach you how to masturbate, either.

What somebody does have to do is to reassure guilt-ridden young men that there's nothing wrong with it. In this regard Christine O'Donnell was not being helpful.

Indeed, masturbation has received a very bad press throughout history. It used to be called Onanism, after a gentleman named Onan. Genesis 38:8-10 tells us that Onan spilled his semen on the ground rather than produce offspring on behalf of his dead brother (a charming custom of the time). This upset God, who promptly killed him.

Generations of clergymen have seized upon this incident to condemn masturbation and threaten young men with damnation. But they miss the point. It wasn't masturbation that upset the Lord. It was Onan's dereliction of duty in failing to provide offspring for his brother. (His brother's widow was expected to participate in this endeavour, and I've always suspected that she may have been superlatively ugly.) [More…]

To read the rest of this article download the PDF here:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/files/download/664-pattaya-one-issue-7/

Enjoyed this article? Why not go to our poll and vote for it at:

-- Pattaya One 2011-01-05