Change Of Name

[SomSak64]

Shortly before she met me, my girlfriend changed her first name. Should I try to find out why? When I asked her, she told me that her previous name was no good - it was an Isaan name, not popular in Bangkok - and farangs would always mispronounce it.

I somewhat doubt that explanation, and wonder how usual a change of forename is in Thailand? It seemed to cause her quite a bit of extra paperwork when she got her passport, but I really don't know what is normal Thai bureaucracy.

Any advice appreciated.

[george]

Hmmm... Sounds strange, but the local Amphur *can* change a womans First name easily if she apply. (Form example, the First name might be ugly in an English translation).

Thai women (normally) changes their Family name, but not First name, when they marry or divorce, but not First name.

What was her previous first name? Second name?

Name on ID card now? First and Family name please!

Is she Mrs or Ms in her new ID card? Or is her ID-card a yellow paper?

[meemiathai]

I asked my wife and she said it is not uncommon for girls to change their firstnames. Usually due to the old one being regarded as "baannok"(country bumpkin) in Bangkok, or superstition.

[SomSak64]

Thanks for the replies so far.

Her original name was Prawpan (to my ears it sounded more like Peo-pan). I did some research and found that it is a not too uncommon name.

I would never post her full name (or other ID-details) on an internet message board, but might well consider to send it in a private email.

How can I tell if she has got Mrs or Ms on her ID-card? I cannot really read Thai script. But with some effort I can recognize most Thai letters.

She told me her first boyfriend died in a car accident, and that she ran away from her second, as he was 'no good man'. I believe he lived off her money, but I didn't get an impression that she was married to any of them. I know she sometimes is 'protecting me from the truth', but I have no reason to believe she has ever told me an outright lie.

Regards

SomSak64

[Candyflip]

Changing name made you worried this much?!!!

I totally disagree with comments above that first name changing is uncommon.

People change their first name for several reasons.

1.Mostly they change it because the name that parents had given has some kind of un-prestigious alphabets for example bebes who are born on Monday, they should not have vowel in their name and alot of people change their name later on after they found out about that.

2.Alot of people have change it because their first name had become stupid name like one of my friend who had " siranee" as her first name but she changed it later because ' siranee" is known as an love expert in stupid famous magazine.

3. Sometimes perants are crazy. They give the first name to the bebe for fun, but that make the kids suffer alot when they go to school because they classmate always tease them with their stupid name!

4. The first name always been given by other people like parents or monks. The bebes had no choice. When one grows up enough and sometimes he or she wanna make her own choice!!!

I dont think changing the name is the proplem here but you have a problem to trust her!!

[SomSak64]

My GF is a very beautiful girl. She is also intelligent and hard-working. So much I know for sure. But none of the above are reasons to trust her.

I have only known her for a few months, and have so far no reason to trust her. Neither do I expect her to trust me yet (actually she is quite jealous for no reason).

I have more than once discovered that she has told me half truths or said nothing about things I ought to know. I realise that she may have done it because she feared I would misinterpret the truth, but still it makes me suspicious.

Trust is not given, it's earned.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Monks often advise people to change their given name ( male and female ) for good luck reasons. Does your lady have a Thai passport ? Her marital status will be shown therein in English.

[Koh_Falang]

yes Somsak i agree totally... trust must be earned... but from the experience i have had it doesnt work like that with some Thai.

I too was sus of my girlfriend because she told some little white lies and half truths and was also keeping things from me. After a while it gets to you... u start thinking shes not who she makes out to be and maybe shes got 3 guys on the side that u dont know about or some silly thoughts like that hahaha sad i know ...

Wheneva she got found out she would just laugh it off as if nothing had happened.... which kind of worried me because after then i was always trying to read into her thoughts and understandably enough i never had much trust in her.

I had to explain to her... after one time we had a fight about something cause i didnt beleive her... i told her i dont trust her because she is always hiding something from me. It was never something bad like she cheated on me or something... but just little stuff which she didnt want me to know cause she thought i wouldnt understand. I told her that was the reason why i didnt beleive her. But she has now earned her trust and by her actions.

In your case Somsak i wouldnt worry too much. My girlfriend always was changing her name... not officially though.. but shes had about 3 names shes been known by..

Good to look into it but i wouldnt worry about it too much if i were u!

[sbk]

I tend to agree with Koh Falang, I have found alot of Thai people tell you what they think you would like to hear. And also don't tell you what they think you would dislike. They do it to each other as well, so I never take it too personally (or, rather, try not to!). You need to explain to her that you need honesty, (not that she is a liar, but again, back to this little white lie business) it will be difficult for her but you also need to compromise and not expect her to tell you every little thing. I guess the best thing to do would be to explain to her that farang are different and deal with things differently and that you would prefer to know the truth. Give her the benefit of the doubt most of the time but if it seems that she is more than unusually evasive you will probably have to confront her with it.

And just as BTW, thai men do this too. Must be a cultural trait. I have just learned to live with it and ask outright, usually my husband will give me a straight answer, but then we have been married 15 years and he has learned that giving straight answers are the easiest way to deal with me!

[KevinN]

My wife has her given name which is SUNEE so not to strange for a farang, but her sisters have what we would call weird names,but they use them anyway and 1 is a teacher and the other is a tobacco farmer so no need to change,,but I have noticed that all the girls that have worked in BKK or Pataya have American or English sounding names,Pat ,Joy,Sue, Susan,Tanya,Tonya,such things as that,,but I know a few whores in the states from when I worked in Nevada and they all have names like that,no whorehouse in the world would be a class act with out a Sue,Joy or Tanya. in residence.

And also I have gave up on the unvarnished truth, I really don't think she lies,but I know she don't tell the truth,but like is said,I guess it is a cultural thing as they all do it. and with me,I like the truth and if you tell me any other then I will not trust you, but that will not fit with a Thai so guess I gotta change.

[translator]

[shortly before she met me, my girlfriend changed her first name. Should I try to find out why?]

NO,NO

If you did not accept her natural reply to your question, your relationship is doomed, doomed.

[tuky]

My wife has changed her name several times right up until she met me.

I was curious about this too but when I asked her she told me that the other names she has had haven't been very lucky.

One name in particular I liked a lot, Chonticha but she thought it was bad luck.

She finally changed it to the present name and swore off beef until she met a good man who will take care of her, and for her to love.

She now eats beef again and is very happy with her current name, although recently she has changed her family name

I think these are the quirks of Thailand that make it special, don't worry about the small things, enjoy them instead.

[Khun ?]

Tucky

I do not think lucky had anything to do with the guy she loves, it has more to do with money that the guy she stays with has.

[KevinN]

And some folks is so ###### narrow minded that they can look thru a keyhole with both eyes.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Awwww Kevvy....be nice.....

[SomSak64]

Thanks for the replies!

This seems to summarise the replies:

1) A change of first name is not very unusual in Thailand

2) There are different reasons for a name change, none of them very worrying.

As for the discussion about trust, white lies and hiding of the truth, I believe it belongs in another thread. So I will open a new topic.

[maerim]

Why open a new topic?

You will never understand Thai's because you are not one.

They think different from farangs, with apologies to Mr.Trink I have been here years and the way they think is nothing like what people from the West think.

In the past when I have been asked "O.K. give me a for instance" I have just given a vague answer.

Try this, a few weeks ago me and the missus went to a hot spring not far from us as she wanted to but some cooked bamboo shoots and it was raining, so she bought the stuff and coming from the hot spring back to the main road we saw or I did, two ladies bathing in hot water, because you do know of course Thai's look but they don't see things, just ask the people on motorbikes who turn in front my pick up.

They were dressed Thai style in sarongs and sat there throwing water over themselves, fair enough.

Here's the good bit.

Except they both had umbrellas so I said to the trouble what about that? what about what she says?

So I said look they are soaking wet through and they have umbrellas as it's raining "Oh yeah" she says.

Now it took her a while to see what was wrong here and she is Thai so my advice to you is open a another bottle of beer quick and don't think too much.

[tuky]

KevinNPosted: Sun 2003-12-14, 13:13:17

Khun ?,Sun 2003-12-14, 13:05:27Tucky

I do not think lucky had anything to do with the guy she loves, it has more to do with money that the guy she stays with has.

And some folks is so ###### narrow minded that they can look thru a keyhole with both eyes.

I choose to believe your talking to Khun ? there KevinN...

I feel sorry for you Khun ? I do not know where you have found your ladies but it must be the wrong place.

Please do not speak of my wife like you have in your post, she doesn't deserve it, and I am certainly not fool enough to succumb to the psuedo charms of the women you obviously have been burnt by.

If I thought you were civilised enough to offer up an apology I would accept it, on behalf of myself AND my wife, but I do not think that will be forthcoming.

Anyone else want to have a go at the decent members of society?

Lets get it out in the open so our friend SomSak64 knows what he is in for...

I can't believe I have been drawn in to the pathetic squabbles of the plebs that troll this site. I am sorry I added to this thread at all.