Wife Wants Money

[jdinasia]

With the answers he got from you lot I don't bloody blame him for 11 posts.

I posted earlier today too and got a right earful for nothing, actually trying to help!

I'm sick of some of the people in this forum, I only came back recently and noticed nothings changed,

Men acting like whiney little bitches cos they have nothing else to do except show how much of a man they are on an internet forum.

This place used to be good but now all people do is attack.

Sort yourselves out u bunch of girls and get a life.

Hmmm he didn't answer the OP --- but he sure ended with an attack ding ding ding! We have ourselves a winner! (whiner?)

[Travel2003]

OP joined in 2005, only 11 posts.

Could this be a 'sleeper troll?'

With the answers he got from you lot I don't bloody blame him for 11 posts.

I posted earlier today too and got a right earful for nothing, actually trying to help!

I'm sick of some of the people in this forum, I only came back recently and noticed nothings changed,

Men acting like whiney little bitches cos they have nothing else to do except show how much of a man they are on an internet forum.

This place used to be good but now all people do is attack.

Sort yourselves out u bunch of girls and get a life.

I respect your point.

Question,

what advice would you give to OP?

You know what its not even the advice thats given, its the way its given.

Some people are so <deleted> horrible to people just asking for a bit of advice,

Again, I respect your point, but respectfully disagree.

You do not questioning why an adult, married for several years, has to ask strangers about how much money to spend for his wife's trip?

It reminds me about someone here that asked what to buy for his wife on their anniversary.

How can we know?

There are probably 100s of factors which must be taken into consideration before one can answer OP's question.

He has been around on the Forum for a while, so he should have been prepared for a variety of replies.

[transam]

He has been around on the Forum for a while, so he should have been prepared for a variety of replies.

+1,

and the OP wants them, and have a smile, eh OP. .

[richard_smith237]

You know what its not even the advice thats given, its the way its given.

Some people are so <deleted> horrible to people just asking for a bit of advice,

Again, I respect your point, but respectfully disagree.

You do not questioning why an adult, married for several years, has to ask strangers about how much money to spend for his wife's trip?

It reminds me about someone here that asked what to buy for his wife on their anniversary.

How can we know?

There are probably 100s of factors which must be taken into consideration before one can answer OP's question.

He has been around on the Forum for a while, so he should have been prepared for a variety of replies.

James24 Points were valid, although unfortunately he has resulted in becoming what he complains about. And I am about to do the same.

Some people take pleasure in putting others down - its often the same people and it gets very tiresome. James24 the only thing to do is to watch out for certain TV members and skip over their posts in future. This is not always easy to do, but there are a number of posters on this forum who write nothing but rubbish, its simply better to ignore them. These very same people enjoy getting a rise out of others - ignoring them is the only adequate response. Do you notice it's always the same guys crying troll ?

Regarding the OP's question: It's better to ask a question than to dive in unknowingly. There maybe some useful replies which I'm sure the Op will be grateful for IF he has the patience to sift through the insults, rubbish and useless spiel many spew out.

Regarding what to buy a wife for a Wedding Anniversary - I'm stuck on that one at the moment, it'd be nice to receive a range of ideas - sometimes the best idea can come from the strangest of sources. I chose not to ask that question here though as I simply couldn't be bothered to sift through the crap many would respond with.

And finally: Assistance for the OP: Perhaps the wife has a good idea of how much she will need and the Op is checking with other posters who may have been in similar circumstances to see if its within reason . If the Ops wife has a Bank account here then utilize that with transfers as and when needed.

OP: it comes down to this:

a) Do you trust your wife to be able to withstand any excessive financial demands which may be placed on her by her family (if they are the sort to try this) ?

Do you trust your wife to use the money wisely and not wastefully ?

If you do, then simply send her over with more than you both think she may need.

If you don't then you have more to worry about and need plan and agree on something before she arrives.

[mario299]

You know what its not even the advice thats given, its the way its given.

Some people are so <deleted> horrible to people just asking for a bit of advice,

Again, I respect your point, but respectfully disagree.

You do not questioning why an adult, married for several years, has to ask strangers about how much money to spend for his wife's trip?

It reminds me about someone here that asked what to buy for his wife on their anniversary.

How can we know?

There are probably 100s of factors which must be taken into consideration before one can answer OP's question.

He has been around on the Forum for a while, so he should have been prepared for a variety of replies.

James24 Points were valid, although unfortunately he has resulted in becoming what he complains about. And I am about to do the same.

Some people take pleasure in putting others down - its often the same people and it gets very tiresome. James24 the only thing to do is to watch out for certain TV members and skip over their posts in future. This is not always easy to do, but there are a number of posters on this forum who write nothing but rubbish, its simply better to ignore them. These very same people enjoy getting a rise out of others - ignoring them is the only adequate response. Do you notice it's always the same guys crying troll ?

Regarding the OP's question: It's better to ask a question than to dive in unknowingly. There maybe some useful replies which I'm sure the Op will be grateful for IF he has the patience to sift through the insults, rubbish and useless spiel many spew out.

Regarding what to buy a wife for a Wedding Anniversary - I'm stuck on that one at the moment, it'd be nice to receive a range of ideas - sometimes the best idea can come from the strangest of sources. I chose not to ask that question here though as I simply couldn't be bothered to sift through the crap many would respond with.

And finally: Assistance for the OP: Perhaps the wife has a good idea of how much she will need and the Op is checking with other posters who may have been in similar circumstances to see if its within reason . If the Ops wife has a Bank account here then utilize that with transfers as and when needed.

OP: it comes down to this:

a) Do you trust your wife to be able to withstand any excessive financial demands which may be placed on her by her family (if they are the sort to try this) ?

Do you trust your wife to use the money wisely and not wastefully ?

If you do, then simply send her over with more than you both think she may need.

If you don't then you have more to worry about and need plan and agree on something before she arrives.

+1 Good post and good advice (and good restraint) all around.

mario299

[Boo]

going on our visits home, I would budget approx 30k baht for merit, entertaining, gifts & general handouts (hubby for example always leaves his mother with a 10k cash gift when we leave, his 3 widowed aunts get 2-5k baht each too) the remaining baht is for beer & small monetary donations for temple visits. We then spend (2 adults, one 3 year old) around 8-10k a week just on travel, hotel & food (for us, mum & aunts) & going out. so I would say for a woman alone & after setting aside a large amount for the merit, gifting, party, then 5k a week would be reasonable. (all "gift" monies come from hubbies personal savings & the rest of the holiday is from our joint savings)

But again, I concur with other posters, what does your wife think she needs?

[TAWP]

If she has been with you for 5 years in a western country then surely she has her own bank account with a VISA card linked?

[MJP]

I agree with some of the posts on here. The guy just asked for some f******g advice, not a pisstaking session.

In answer to your question, I don't know your financial circumstances, but if it were me, in the absence of any other considerations, I would consider 50,000 baht spending money a generous amount, and I'd tell her to spend it all.

Yes, it's a valid question, certainly as he needs advice from 'people on the ground', when you're not domiciled here it's difficult to gauge what the costs really are.

50k came to mind actually, with a caveat of go steady with it there's a recession on. A family member that visits now and again was saying it costs her about 20k each time she visits. It's still expensive traveling about. We like to think it's just a bus ride and a tuk-tuk but it never ever works out that way.

[ronz28]

I guess 100,000 baht should cover it more or less. It all depends....

[MJP]

I guess 100,000 baht should cover it more or less. It all depends....

That's a lot of money. Does that include the return flights?

[Beetlejuice]

OP joined in 2005, only 11 posts.

Could this be a 'sleeper troll?'

With the answers he got from you lot I don't bloody blame him for 11 posts.

I posted earlier today too and got a right earful for nothing, actually trying to help!

I'm sick of some of the people in this forum, I only came back recently and noticed nothings changed,

Men acting like whiney little bitches cos they have nothing else to do except show how much of a man they are on an internet forum.

This place used to be good but now all people do is attack.

Sort yourselves out u bunch of girls and get a life.

+1

It appears that the OP for reasons unknown to us does not trust his wife. I mean, a wife or girlfriend lying and cheating their partners out of money, whoever heard of such a thing?

If this is the case and the woman`s excuses for wanting money is questionable, then just give her a little above the amount you normally allow her for her daily cost of living expenses.

Remember if something doesn`t make sense then it`s usually a lie.

My girlfriend visits and stays with her family for 3 nights every 2 weeks. She buys her food that costs no more than if she was here at home, plus a lttle extra money for motorbike gasoline and a couple of hundred baht that she uses to buy fruit for her dear grey haired old mum.

If your wife insists on money well over the top giving lame excuses, then only you know the score and what you give has to be left up to your own discretion.

[Beetlejuice]

Just another point:

This is Thailand and although those seeking advice maybe among Thai people, spouses, family, possibly some farang acquaintances,

they can still find themselves in an isolated situation, whereas there is no one around them that they can really relate to or is capable of understanding a problem.

If in some sort of dilemma quite often there is no one for them to approach or to give an opinion that may lift they’re burden of what is a right decision to make for any particular situation. Again this is Thailand, can’t just take a stroll down to the pub and have a chat with the mates that you have known for years and feel comfortable with airing a personal problem with.

Over here the saying is; a friend in need, is a friend to be avoided. I’m sure many of you realise that.

Then they turn to us on Thai visa, not so much for guidance but just to see other opinions that could help with making a decision, which is extremely important to them but may appear insignificant to others.

So give em the benefit of the doubt folks, as who knows, it maybe your turn to solve a dilemma next?

Now, would I lie to you?

[oshoshitzu]

Thanks very much to those for their polite/supportive replies; and as to those nasty f*****s: you know what you can do!

As pointed out by MJP I'm are not domiciled in Thailand: From what I hear costs have risen a great deal in Thailand since 2006 and the pound is now much weaker against the baht and I'm not rolling in it. That taken into consideration with the perception of my in-laws that all farangs are multi millionaires which places pressure on the missus prompted me to ask the question.

[MJP]

Thanks very much to those for their polite/supportive replies; and as to those nasty f*****s: you know what you can do!

As pointed out by MJP I'm are not domiciled in Thailand: From what I hear costs have risen a great deal in Thailand since 2006 and the pound is now much weaker against the baht and I'm not rolling in it. That taken into consideration with the perception of my in-laws that all farangs are multi millionaires which places pressure on the missus prompted me to ask the question.

The more you give, the bigger the problems you'll build for yourself later on. Believe me I know and I know you know too.

Costs here in the sticks? It's almost like living for free, personally I can live on around 6000 Baht a month if I don't go anywhere and just live in the house. We are starting to see inflation though, but it's still NOTHING like the costs of existing in Blighty, I mean it's incomparable.

I was reading a thread on a UK site about the price of tomatoes. A quid for six tomatoes in a supermarket! Well, I pay about 30 pence a kilo here, 10% of the Blighty price. This economy of scale pretty much applies to anything considered normal living and even fancy stuff is looking marginally cheaper here now than the UK if you shop around on the internet.

[MiG16]

Im going to politely ask people to only reply if they have something to say in direct response to the question posted by the OP

your estimate of likely amount needed.

any further replies of any other nature will be deleted, and most likely will earn you a warning.

OP, personally I think Boo has given a good estimate. the amount of 5,000 baht per week should be fine if not in bangkok. if in bangkok, and she is going out socialising a fair bit (lunch/coffee/dinner/movies) with friends, then it COULD cost more.

if you are living here you are unlikely to be going out everyday. but if u are only visiting on holidays, chances are you'd be out (to some level) everyday.

[smokie36]

Thanks very much to those for their polite/supportive replies; and as to those nasty f*****s: you know what you can do!

As pointed out by MJP I'm are not domiciled in Thailand: From what I hear costs have risen a great deal in Thailand since 2006 and the pound is now much weaker against the baht and I'm not rolling in it. That taken into consideration with the perception of my in-laws that all farangs are multi millionaires which places pressure on the missus prompted me to ask the question.

Assuming your wife knows your financial situation I'd think 100k Baht to be going along with.....hopefully she will return with the unspent money she didn't need.

Perhaps after six years it would suit her to get a job and be more self sufficient....if she is not looking after children etc....

[JWJ]

A months salary would probably be ok.

[MrsMills]

How can anybody but your wife answer this ?

[ClockworkOranges]

Who the hell do some of you people think you are?

The guy asks a simple question and some of you berate him. You think you are so perfect with your ‘Thai Way’ don’t you?

This is not a question I would need to post on a forum – I would know exactly how much to give to my wife for a holiday. But the point is, he does not know. He is not being tight fisted or ‘cheap Charlie’ he simply wants advice from his fellow ferang, in the same way that his wife asks advice from her Thai friends regarding their relationship.

The guy probably has friends but he may not have friends familiar with the Thai/Ferang relationship so he has to ask his fellow ferang.

What on earth is wrong with that?

This forum is just full of snobs.

[mystwoodcol]

Who the hell do some of you people think you are?

The guy asks a simple question and some of you berate him. You think you are so perfect with your 'Thai Way' don't you?

This is not a question I would need to post on a forum – I would know exactly how much to give to my wife for a holiday. But the point is, he does not know. He is not being tight fisted or 'cheap Charlie' he simply wants advice from his fellow ferang, in the same way that his wife asks advice from her Thai friends regarding their relationship.

The guy probably has friends but he may not have friends familiar with the Thai/Ferang relationship so he has to ask his fellow ferang.

What on earth is wrong with that?

This forum is just full of snobs.

Go Bro !!!!!

[bermondburi]

Obviously a lot depends on where she will be, in a city or in a village and what kind of social circles she moves in. Only you know about all that kind of stuff. You say that you have been away since 2006. That is five years. If you were in Thailand for a year, how much would you normally spend on making merit, giving to the elderly etc. Take to figure for one year and multiply it by five and then stick a bit extra on for good measure.

I don't know you circumstances but if it was me and my family, it would be something like this : MIL would get about 20,000 baht and no one else in the family would get anything. My wife has four sisters all grown up with their own families, they can take care of themselves. But a MIL should be respected. A big party would be in order as well. This could cost anything from 5000 to 10,000 depending on quality of booze and number of people. I would buy low quality booze as it wouldn't make any difference. On top of that stick general living expenses. The 5000 a week sounds about right and then stick on another 10000 for shopping she will want to do so that she can bring loads of stuff back, then stick on 10000 for shopping for more stuff that she will want to bring back because she has forgotten how good shopping in Thailand is. Plus stick on another 10,000 for extra emergencies and unforeseen trips and excursions that may happen and her general piece of mind . So for a month I make that 80,000.

Result ; everybody happy and big faces all round.

Don't go overboard and only give what you can afford.

[transam]

Am l right that your mrs has asked for a figure that you think is over the top?.

If so, what did she ask for.

[jackr]

You ask a bunch of strangers about what to give the person you married, and planned to live with rest of your life?

The very first response and you're down on the op. One would think you'd know better with the time you've wasted on this forum. Sort yourself out.

With the answers he got from you lot I don't bloody blame him for 11 posts.

I posted earlier today too and got a right earful for nothing, actually trying to help!

I'm sick of some of the people in this forum, I only came back recently and noticed nothings changed,

Men acting like whiney little bitches cos they have nothing else to do except show how much of a man they are on an internet forum.

This place used to be good but now all people do is attack.

Sort yourselves out u bunch of girls and get a life.

Well said, James.

The op is asking for advice on a valid subject, not to be judged by sad gits behind monitors. He hasn't been here for years, his wife hasn't visited home for so long, the price of rice has doubled, the baht is high, the pound is low... many factors and he's simply asking what others may have paid to give himself an idea. Perfectly valid question and more so than some of the rubbish being posted today. Unfortunately, op, I haven't a clue as don't know the first thing about Isaan, merits and such like, although Boo and a few others have given some decent responses.

[ronz28]

I guess 100,000 baht should cover it more or less. It all depends....

That's a lot of money. Does that include the return flights?

No, I wasn't thinking the cost of the flight included. However, I was thinking she might want to buy her family she is staying with some special gifts like a new refrigerator, or TV, etc. Since she has been away from home for over 5 years, she may want to buy a lot of things and do a lot of things that one wouldn't normally do during one month but she has thought about for 5+ years and hasn't been able to do. She may want to get as much of that in as possible during the month she will be in Thailand. Might want to leave some baht with her family too. It all depends on the two of you...but I wouldn't think any less than 50,000 baht and guess about 100,000 baht depending on what you can afford and what she plans to do. Would be less if she is just going there and live off her relatives but I think more is expected. Certainly you wouldn't want to give too much and fund or enable any bad habits but only you two would know that.

[WAYNEandAEI]

Asked my wife. she said 10.000 baht for month easy ....... but she is a tight a*****

[mark45y]

OP joined in 2005, only 11 posts.

Could this be a 'sleeper troll?'

With the answers he got from you lot I don't bloody blame him for 11 posts.

I posted earlier today too and got a right earful for nothing, actually trying to help!

I'm sick of some of the people in this forum, I only came back recently and noticed nothings changed,

Men acting like whiney little bitches cos they have nothing else to do except show how much of a man they are on an internet forum.

This place used to be good but now all people do is attack.

Sort yourselves out u bunch of girls and get a life.

Ya a lot more Trannys lately. Not like the good old days.

[mark45y]

Asked my wife. she said 10.000 baht for month easy ....... but she is a tight a*****

I agree 300 baht a day and airfare.

[Loz]

juat give her a CC and Debit Card.... simples , she spends what she needs to spends

Indeed, the fact that she appears to need to come to you cap in hand doesn't say much for the trust in your marriage. Are you sure she will come back?

If my mum had to ask my dad for money when stepping out, I don't think they'd call it a marriage.

If you:

A love your wife

B Trust your Wife

C Want to make your wife look good back home

I suggest you give her a bank card for your account and let her answer the question herself.

If she needs to spend money on the family, Doubtless you would support her. If its a major purchase, doubtless she would consult you before acting.

Isn't that how partnerships work?

[Travel2003]

OP.

What have your wife told her family back home in regards to her living standard, your (and hers) income, etc?

It is quite common for many (not all) to put a little extra on when they tell their family and friends back home how well they are married.

This bragging will normally backfire, as the relatives expect something extra, due to their daughter's fortune/luck in life.

[Loz]

If Money is an issue, might I suggest the sweet shop principle. If you surround her with so much it makes her bored or sick, chances are she will not spend every last groat.

If on the other hand, you meter it out like it matters, you might find she blows every little bit form the sheer excitement of the auspicious moment.

If you don't want it to be a big deal, don't make it a big deal.